Promise Me Always (32 page)

“I’m not kidding,” I said seriously. I lifted her chin with my finger so she was looking directly into my eyes as I continued, “I have never been so scared in all my life, Tess. Watching you fall to the ground, not knowing if you were alright—I snapped. I went there to protect you and when your body hit the floor, I knew I had let you down,
again
. I was scared for your life, infuriated with myself, and fucking furious that Jared was still breathing after what he had done.”

My heart rate started to elevate at the memory and I had to close my eyes to calm myself down. “I charged him and all I remember after that was the sound of his bones breaking every time my fist connected with his face. My whole body was numb and it felt like I had been bashing in his skull for hours when I was tugged back to reality by three cops trying to pull me off of him.”

When I opened my eyes, Tess leaned forward, resting her forehead on mine. Tears forming in her eyes again, she reached up and stroked the side of my face. “I was so afraid,” she whispered. “I knew what he planned on doing to me and I didn’t think anyone would make it in time to stop him.” She sobbed and I wiped the tears away from her face.

“It’s okay, baby girl. It’s over now and I will
never
let anyone ever hurt you again.”

“Promise Me?” she whispered.

I couldn’t help myself when I heard the words. I pulled her face to mine and gently kissed her sweet, soft lips. She opened her mouth a little, allowing me access, and I took it. Deepening the kiss just slightly, I tilted her head back, slowly stroking her tongue with mine.

I could taste the salt from her tears as I slid in and out of her mouth. Time stood still whenever our lips met and I knew this is where I belonged. All of my worries, fears, and self doubt melted away as I kissed her; I knew I would never leave her side again. Not wanting to push her any further, I slowly broke the kiss. After pulling away, I wiped one more tear away from her cheek and whispered, “Always.”

Blake stayed by my side for next twenty four hours. Unfortunately, so did Palmer, Lexi and my parents. Blake and I hadn’t had one moment alone since right after I woke up and even that didn’t last long. Lexi couldn’t resist not seeing me for one second and she and Avery barged in on us right after Blake kissed me. When they came barreling through the door, Blake’s face twisted into sheer annoyance.

Everyone took shifts, making sure I was never once left alone. Blake only left the room one time when my parents forced him to go down to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat with them. When he left, Palmer and Lexi started up with the twenty questions. First, they wanted all the details I could possibly remember about everything that happened. They had tried asking me before when Blake was in the room, but his testosterone filled reactions made them quickly close their mouths. Once I got through all of the details that I could remember of Jared’s attack, they quickly moved on to the next hot topic.

“So, are the two of you back together then?” Lexi asked, her voice giving away her excitement.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “We didn’t really talk about it. We obviously have issues with communication in that department,” I replied jokingly.

It was true, though. We never could just come straight out and say how we were feeling. As scary as it was, I was starting to think that needed to be our next conversation.

“He kissed me though,” I said, my cheeks turning red as I remembered the sweetest, most romantic kiss he had ever given me.

“You two are driving me crazy! Just tell the man how you feel already, Tess. You love him and he loves you… why is it so hard for you two to just say it!” Palmer interrupted, shaking her head at me. “Do we need to tattoo it on your fucking foreheads or what?”

Palmer never had issues with expressing her feelings, no matter what they were. I could tell our holding back was irritating her. I just shook my head and laughed—I didn’t even know what to say. Why did she think Blake loved me? He wasn’t that type—never had been and never will be.

“You guys really need to figure it out and stop torturing yourselves. You belong together,” Lexi said.

“I
want
to be with him. I mean, I love him for Christ sakes! But I get the feeling he doesn’t feel the same way about me. I know he cares about me, but I don’t think he
loves
me,” I said, frowning. I didn’t really want to be thinking about this right now. My headache was finally starting to subside and I knew it would come back full force if I kept thinking about Blake. I lowered my head, trying to fight back my emotions.

Palmer came over and sat down on the bed next to me. “I probably should just let you two work this out on your own, but if I don’t interject, then I don’t think you ever will. You’ll just keep pushing each other away,” she said as she took my hand in hers. “He loves you, Tess. I know it seems crazy because of everything that has happened, but he does. He told me he does.”

“He told you he loves me?” My voice was laced with a mixture of excitement and confusion.
Blake loves me?

“Yeah, he did. But the thing is, Blake has some demons and, for some stupid reason, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. He’s been pushing you away, thinking that’s what’s best for you.” I looked up and stared at Palmer, my mind racing.

“Why? Why would he think that?” I asked, puzzled. My head starting to pound again as I tried to figure out why Blake would ever think he wasn’t good enough for me.

“I don’t know, Tess, but haven’t you ever noticed how much he puts himself down or calls himself worthless?” As soon as Palmer said the word, I knew exactly what the problem was.
His father.

Tears came to my eyes and I felt nauseous as I thought about Blake as a young, adorable, dark haired, little boy. A boy, terrified of his own father, because of the abuse that was inflicted on him by the one man that was supposed to love him unconditionally.

I couldn’t believe I had never thought about how much it affected him. Blake always said that he didn’t remember much because he was so young, but apparently he couldn’t see the permanent damage that his asshole father had already done. He imbedded evil in Blake’s mind, making him think that he was a piece of shit and always would be. No wonder he always kept people at arm’s length! He was too scared to let anyone in—fearing if he did, they would break him, just like his father had done all those years ago.

A few minutes later, Blake and my parents returned. I noticed immediately that Blake was holding a single, red gerbera daisy in his hand and my heart soared. Still confused and upset about the conversation I had just sat through, I forced a weak smile at his gesture. He knew something was off when he saw Palmer by my side. Coupled with the look on my face and the tears in my eyes, it was a dead giveaway that something was wrong. He quickly came to my bed side and Palmer retreated after seeing the look of worry on his face.

“Is everything okay, Tess?” he asked, concerned. He checked over all the machines that were still attached to me, looking for any signs of distress.

“I’m fine. My head hurts a bit and I’m just ready to go home, that’s all,” I said as I wiped my eyes and tried to act normal. He sat down next to me and handed me the flower.

“I saw it down stairs and I couldn’t resist,” he stated as he kissed my forehead. “I just wish they would have had a pink and yellow one, too.”

It took everything I had not to pull him to me and devour him right there. I wanted so badly to tell him how much I loved him and how I never wanted to be without him, but I knew this wasn’t the place—we needed to be alone.

The next morning I was released from the hospital with orders to take it easy for the next few weeks while my body and head recovered. A police officer had come to my room a few hours before I was released, questioning me about the events that took place. He also informed me that Jared would be transferred to the county jail once he was stable enough to be released from the hospital; they were charging him with attempted murder. He asked me if I would testify against him in court and I agreed, knowing that if I didn’t, he would more than likely get off and that was the last thing I wanted to deal with.

After I returned home, I forced my parents to finally leave my side, assuring them that if I needed anything, they would be the first people I would call. I laid down, trying to get some rest after the horrible night in the hospital, but I couldn’t even shut my eyes. My mind was racing and the only thing I could think about was Blake. I desperately needed to talk to him and I still had almost six hours before I would get the chance.

He had left the hospital early that morning because he was due for work and couldn’t find anyone to cover the front half of his twenty four hour shift. I begged him to go home and get some rest before he had to go on duty. After all, it wasn’t like I was going to be alone. My parents had confiscated the make shift pull out bed that was in my hospital room and, after arguing with Blake for almost an hour, he opted to sleep in the most uncomfortable chair I had ever seen.

He looked exhausted when he kissed my forehead and said goodbye, telling me he would see me later this evening and he would bring dinner. Apparently, he had found someone to work the back half of his shift and I was instantly nervous, yet incredibly excited at the same time, to see him again so soon.

I had finally calmed my thoughts down enough to drift off to sleep when there was a knock at my door.

I slowly got up off of the couch, praying that it wasn’t my parents, Palmer or Lexi. I had seen enough of them in the past twenty four hours and, while I loved them tremendously, I didn’t think I would be able to handle them much longer. I smiled a warm, heartfelt smile as I pulled open the door and saw Shane standing on the other side, holding a little white teddy bear and a shiny silver balloon that said ‘get well soon’.

“Hey, Tess! How are you feeling, sweetheart?” he asked me softly. His bright blue eyes were full of concern.

“Okay, I guess. Still pretty sore, but nothing I can’t handle,” I replied, motioning for him to come in.

He handed me the teddy bear and balloon before we made our way over to the couch. Before taking a seat, I released the balloon and watched as it floated up to the ceiling. Hugging the soft white teddy bear to my chest, I took a seat on the couch, curling my legs up underneath me. Shane sat on the opposite end and I watched him as he removed his shoes and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

“Thanks for the bear and balloon. You’re too sweet,” I said as I ran my fingers through my hair. Shane had been there for me so much in the past month—I didn’t know how I could ever repay him.

“So… are you here for the detailed play by play or did you already talk to Palmer?” I asked him with a smirk, already knowing the answer to my question.

“Really, Tess? Between Lexi and Palmer, I’m pretty sure I know every detail. The play by play will not be necessary,” he answered sarcastically. “I was worried sick about you, though. Are you sure you’re okay? Can I get you anything? Food? Water? Advil?” he asked as he stared at my black eye.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It looks a lot worse than it is. I’m fine though, really. I just need to try and get some sleep. I’m exhausted and I haven’t slept very well the past few days.” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I hoped that he would take the hint that, while I was grateful that he cared enough to come over to check on me, he really should be moving on. I really wanted to try and sneak in a few hours of sleep before Blake showed up later.

“Well, I won’t stay then,” he said, his voice and face full of disappointment. “I just wanted to tell you… you know what? Never mind. It isn’t any of my business, anyway,” he said as he started to put his shoes back on.

“Tell me what, Shane?” I questioned him.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have said anything. It isn’t my place.”

“Shane, you obviously came over here to tell me something. Now out with it before I get my bruised, weak body off of this couch and beat it out of you,” I demanded. There was nothing that pissed me off more than someone starting something and not finishing it. I stared at him, my arms crossed over my chest as I waited.