Promising You (The Jade Series #4) (34 page)

Friday morning Garret and I get up early like we’ve been doing so we can sneak back in the dorm.
 

“I guess this is it.” I fold up one of the blankets and start on another. I sound cheery for some reason. I guess I’m trying to deny this is really happening. “You need help packing up all this stuff?”

“No. I’ll do it later.” Garret doesn’t sound cheery at all and his serious tone knocks me back to the cold hard reality I don’t want to exist. He takes the blanket from me and throws it on the ground. “Jade, don’t act like this is over.”

“I’m not. I just wanted to help clean up.” The cheerful tone returns as I fight against that damn reality.
 

I go to roll up the sleeping bags but he grabs me around my waist and draws me into him. “This will all work out, Jade. I promise.”

“That’s just mean!” I shove on his chest but he won’t let me go. “You know that’s not true! Why would you even say something like that?”

“Because it’s what I believe, so I’m saying it.”
 

He’s holding me so tight that it’s no use fighting him but I still try. I don’t know why. It’s not like I want him to let me go. But that fucking reality is now staring me in the face, ripping at my heart, and being this close to him, being in his arms . . . it’s killing me. I can’t do it a second longer.
 

“Let me go.”

“Don’t be this way. This isn’t the end.”

My gaze remains on the ground. I can’t look at him. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll make sure to vote for you in 20 years.”
 

“Hey.” He pulls back a little and nudges my chin up. “Stop it. You’re trying to shut your feelings off just like the old Jade would. You’re trying to push me away and I won’t let you do it. This is the last—”

“Last time we’ll see each other? Yeah, exactly. So much for the promise you just made.”
 

All of a sudden, a rush of emotion shocks my system, flooding every cell and I can’t stop it. I don’t where it came from and why it’s happening now when I’m trying so hard to be strong. Tears well up in my eyes and my throat burns as I struggle to keep the tears from falling.

“I was going to say it’s the last time I’ll see you until I get to California.” Garret smiles at me and for a second I believe that he really
will
see me in California, but then I come to my senses.

“You’re not going to California. They’ll probably make you spend another summer in DC learning how to be a politician. Going to fundraisers and—”

“Jade, stop.” He hugs me even closer, pressing my cheek against his chest and kissing the top of my head. “We’ll see each other again.” Even though his voice is strong, I feel him trembling a little as he holds me. “You’re not getting rid of me.”
 

“Maybe I’m ready to get rid of you.” I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of him one last time. “Being with you is exhausting.” It comes out sounding funny for some strange reason. I don’t even know why I said it. It sounds like something stupid I would’ve said before all this happened.
 

He gently pushes me back to face him. “What are you talking about? Being with me is awesome and you know it.” He gives me the cocky smile that only he could get away with and it somehow lightens the mood. And for just a moment I let myself go back to the way things used to be between us, before we started counting the minutes to the end, because I miss those times so bad and I’d do anything to get them back.
 

Garret keeps talking. “I make you laugh. I buy you the world’s best chocolate. I have sex with you whenever you ask. I keep my body in shape for your visual pleasure. I—”

“Are you done complimenting yourself? Because I could give you a whole list of things that need work.” I really can’t think of anything he needs to work on. I love him exactly the way he is, but I try to find something to prove my point. “Like you could really use a haircut. The bad-boy Garret look isn’t working for you.”

“See? There’s no way you could go the rest of your life without giving me one of your insults.”

He lets me go and I get the feeling he wants to end this now, while we’re still in this make-believe happy place. While the mood is light and not so sad.
 

But I’m not ready for it to end.
 

I’m not ready to say goodbye.
 

I can’t do this. I can’t.

Garret takes both my hands in his. “So I’ll see you later, okay?” He uses an upbeat tone, but his face is serious and struggling to form even the slightest smile.

My heart is running fast, skipping beats, like it’s in total distress.
 

I need more time.
 

This can’t be the end.
 

But it is.
 

And I need to say goodbye.
 

I swallow hard past the giant lump in my throat, begging my eyes not to cry. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
 

I turn to leave, but Garret keeps hold of one of my hands. “Hey.”
 

I turn back around.

“Before you go. One more thing.” His beautiful blue eyes are wet now, ready to drop tears at any second. It just confirms that he, too, believes this is the end, no matter what he says.

“Yeah?” I bite my bottom lip hard to keep from crying.

“I love you, Jade Taylor.” He smiles even though a tear is running down his face. “I always will.”

I somehow manage to smile back, tears now pouring from my eyes. “I love you, too, Garret Kensington. I’ll love you forever.”
 

With those final words, I tear my hand from his and run out of the tent, through the woods and up the hill to the trail, not looking back.
 

When I get to my room, I cry like I’ve never cried before, hoping it will help relieve all the hurt, loss, and sadness I’m feeling. But it doesn’t. It’s going to take a long time to feel better. A really long time. Even so, I tell myself that I’m not going to cry about this after today. I knew this was coming and crying about it doesn’t make it any easier.
 

I have to accept that this chapter of my life is closing. And I’ll be okay. I’ll move on, just like I did after my mom’s suicide.
 

I’m strong and I can get past this.
 

27

At noon I leave to meet Grace for lunch. I don’t feel like going out, but I told her I’d be there. As I’m driving to the restaurant I realize that I’m actually glad I’m going to see her. We’re both experiencing loss and sadness and maybe just by being together we can make each other feel a little bit better.
 

We meet at the cafe in the old historic house, the one we went to when I first met her. It’s weird not having Arlin there. And really sad. Grace gives me a hug when I see her.

“I’m so sorry,” I say softly as we hug.

She rubs my back. “It’s okay, honey. I’ll see him again someday.”

When we pull away and take our seats, I see her taking deep breaths to keep her emotions in check. She looks thinner, like she hasn’t eaten since it happened.
 

We talk a little about the funeral, but then she quickly changes the subject to her flower garden, telling me what she’s planting next week and about the new flower seeds she ordered. She talks about it all through lunch and I just listen because I know that talking about geraniums and petunias is the only way she can get through the pain she’s feeling. We all have our own way of dealing with these things and this is hers.

When we’re done eating, she gets her purse out and I assume that means she’s getting ready to leave.
 

“Thank you for lunch.” I get my car keys out.
 

“No, honey, we’re not leaving yet. I just had to get something from my purse. Your flight leaves later tonight, right?”

“Yes. At 6.” I put my keys away.

“Then we have time.” She runs her hand up and down an envelope that’s now lying on the table.

“Did you get a letter?” I ask her.

“No. This is something for you.”

“Oh.” I look at it, confused. “Do you want me to open it?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet.”
 

She’s struggling and I don’t know why. I put my hand on hers. “What is it Grace? Is something wrong?”

“I just have a hard time talking about him.” I notice that her lips are quivering and her eyes are watery.
 

I scoot my chair closer to her. “I know. I miss him, too.”

She smiles and wipes the corners of her eyes with her napkin. “He was so happy taking you sailing. I can’t tell you how much that meant to him.” She laughs a little. “After you’d leave he’d say how quickly you learned what he taught you. He’d repeat all the questions you asked him. His whole face lit up when he talked about you. Even before I met you, he told me all about you. How you were valedictorian of your high school. How well you were doing at Moorhurst. He was so proud.”

Now she’s making
me
tear up. Dammit!

She takes a deep breath and smiles like she’s determined to stop crying about Arlin’s death. I know because it’s the same determination I’m trying to force upon myself with the loss of Garret.
 

“Jade, honey,” she continues. “You already know Arlin and I wanted to pay for your college. So this will take care of that.” She taps the envelope but still doesn’t give it to me. “But we wanted to do more for you.”
 

The waiter comes to refill her coffee and she waits for him to leave before continuing.
 

“Arlin was a very successful man and he wanted to share that success with his family. So before he passed, he put some money into a trust for you. We did it now because if we waited until both Arlin and I were gone, it would cause confusion among the rest of the family. They wouldn’t understand why we gave you this.”

She hands me the envelope. I open it and pull out a sheet of paper. There’s some legal jargon on it and a seal at the bottom. And then I see my name. And next to it is a number. A very large number with a dollar sign in front of it.
 

I can’t speak. I don’t even think I’m breathing. I’m too shocked. I stare at it thinking I must be reading it wrong but the number doesn’t change.
 

It’s 50 million dollars. Fifty. Million. Dollars.
 

I force myself to breathe again.

“It’s yours, Jade, to use as you see fit. Arlin and I wanted you to have whatever type of future you want. This will help you do that.”

“No. It’s way too much. I don’t need this much.”

She smiles. “It’s a lot, but it’s not too much. Remember, honey, we’re billionaires. It takes a lot of millions to make a billion.”

I guess that’s true, but still. Fifty million? I get my wallet out and give her the credit card she gave me back in March. “Then I don’t need this anymore.”

She gives it back. “Take it. Use it until you get out of school and then you can get your own. That’s the deal we have with all the grandchildren.”

“But I have—”

“Jade. Use the credit card until you graduate. Arlin was very insistent on that and so am I. You can use the money from the trust later on.”

I look at the paper again and the amount and my mind immediately thinks of Frank and Ryan. “Are there any restrictions on how I can use this? Because I was just wondering if it’s okay if I give a little to Frank. With his illness, he hasn’t been able to work, so he could really use some money. He wouldn’t waste it. I swear. He’d just use it for groceries and maybe to fix up his house. And his son really needs a new car and some help paying for med school.”

She nods. “It’s your money. You can give Frank as much as you want.”

Knowing I can help Frank makes me even more excited about the money. He could get a new house. Move to a better neighborhood. Pay off Ryan’s loans. This will change their lives.

I reach over and give her a hug. “Thank you for this. I don’t even know what to say.” I pull back and look at her. “Other than that I need you to know that I never,
ever
expected you and Arlin to give me money. I only wanted to get to know my grandparents.”

She pats my hand. “Yes, I know, honey.”
 

“So when will I see you again?”

“Whenever you want to see me. I do enjoy California.” She smiles. “In fact we have a small cottage in Santa Barbara. I plan to spend a few weeks out there this summer.”

I’d love to know what she considers to be a small cottage.

“Then I’m coming to see you. Or you can come stay with me. I have a whole condo and it’s just going to be me there.”

“Jade.” She clasps her hands around mine and waits for our eyes to meet. “This issue with Garret will get resolved. I’ll take care of it myself if I have to. If those idiot men would just let women into their little club they wouldn’t make such stupid decisions.”

Grace is usually soft spoken, but she said those words forcefully like she was both fed up and pissed off. I didn’t realize she knew about everything going on with Garret. It’s not something we talk about. Plus, Garret said the members usually don’t tell their wives what goes on within the organization.

“I’m not feeling good about it. There’s a meeting on Monday.”

“Yes. I know about the meeting. My son, William, is a member. He’ll be there.”

“Does he know what’s going to happen?”

“No. But you shouldn’t give up yet, Jade.”

“I’m not. I’m—”

“Yes. You have.” She squeezes my hand. “I could see you struggling all through lunch because you think this is over. But you’re giving up too soon. You need to have hope. Sometimes things just work out.”

I nod like I believe her even though I don’t at all.
 

“You should know that before Arlin passed, he fought hard to keep Garret out of this. And I don’t just mean with the negative press that was created. I mean that he let his feelings be known to every member of the organization. And that’s not something you do. It’s against the rules.”
 

“Then why did he do it?”

She takes a sip of her coffee. “When Royce was picked years ago, Arlin asked them to pick someone else, but he didn’t do anything else to get it stopped.”