Propositioning Her Brother's Best Friend (16 page)

 
[w1]
Much smoother. It would help a bit, though, to have Mitch be more
specific about
why
he objects to
Paul. The ten-year age gap could be part of the reason, and the fear of losing
Rachel another part. I think that the story would be a bit stronger if either a
scene between Mitch and Rachel about Paul were added, or else the scene where
Mitch and Paul patch things up were lengthened. Mitch’s reaction is very
strong, and it needs to be discussed a bit more in detail.