Protecting the Dream (6 page)

Trevor snorted. “Wow, that sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you give her the keys, Ty?”

If there had been any doubt about how much she liked Trevor, there was none now. He clearly had a perfect understanding of Ty’s neurosis concerning Molly.

Ty stared between her and Trevor. “I know what you’re doing. Sure, make fun of the guy with the nice vehicle. Just because you two are content driving around in your shit-mobiles, don’t pick on me because I’ve got a little class.”

Trevor hooted. “Jordan, look up
class
on Dictionary-dot-com. See if there’s a picture of Ty’s giant redneck truck next to the definition.”

Trevor wore the same shit-eating grin she’d thought only Ty had perfected. Jordan folded over in laughter.

“Screw you,” Ty said. But he was smiling.

“You can drive my truck if you really want to,” he said, although he made no move to hand over the keys. “I really just want you to look around, decide if you like it here or not.”

She liked the place more than she was prepared to admit. But buying a house with Ty was a lot to take on. Everything about the idea scared the crap out of her.

He narrowed his eyes. “Relax. It’s a house, not a jail. If we decide a year from now it’s too much, we’ll sell it.”

“I call bullshit,” Trevor mumbled.

“Stay out of it,” Ty shot back at him.

“He’s only been in love with the place since he was six.” Trevor smirked at her. “No pressure, though, if you don’t like it.”

Ty’s jaw clenched. His lips set in a grim line as he glared at Trevor for a long moment. “Could you just shut up?”

“Could you just be honest?” Trevor answered without skipping a beat.

“Listen, girls . . .” Jordan slid between them, trying to understand what had caused the sudden rise in tension. “Before we have a full-blown catfight, let me say that the property is beautiful and I do like it. I just don’t know why we need so much space. Or a stable. Don’t horses require a lot of care, not to mention time? With our jobs, spare time isn’t something either of us has.”

Ty shrugged, but Jordan could tell he was irritated. Maybe with Trevor. Or maybe with her reservations and questions.

“Just because we have a stable doesn’t mean we have to have horses,” he said.

Trevor hacked out a cough.

Jordan was pretty sure she caught the word
bullshit
grumbled in the middle of it.

“Has he told you he already owns three horses he keeps over on Pop’s farm?” Trevor asked.

Given the fact that Jordan specialized in narcotics investigations and she’d dealt with the oddest and most violent fringes of society, very little shocked her. But Tyler McGee threw her one curveball right after another.

Ty shot Trevor a death stare. “What’s your problem? Why can’t you mind your own business?”

“Because she deserves to know how much you love this place,” Trevor shot back. “And how many times over the years you considered buying it and letting Tara take care of the horses. If Jordan doesn’t know, don’t get pissed when she questions why you want this place so bad.”

Jordan’s chest tightened with a painful realization. She looked between the guys as they squared off, both of them still so raw from the loss of their sister.

“Living here won’t bring Tara back.” Trevor picked up a Thermos from the ground. “I’m getting more coffee.”

Ty was rigid with anger, but Jordan couldn’t help being grateful for Trevor’s interference. At least now she understood. Ty wanted to buy the Henderson property as a way of holding on to Tara’s memory.

Trevor stomped out of the barn. More than anything, she wanted to tell him that he was wrong—Tara’s spirit had been all around them since Ty pulled onto the property yesterday. But she kept her mouth shut. The less you acted like a freak and the less you talked about being a freak, the better chance you had of not being treated like one.

Ty pulled off his work gloves. “I hate it when he’s right.” He threw the gloves down, hung his head, and sighed. Then plodded to a wood bench and sat.

Jordan hated the pained look that aged his face whenever Tara was on his mind. She understood, more than she cared to, how the murder of a loved one forever altered a person’s life. Her throat swelled and cut off her words for a moment. After her own fucked-up past, the very least she should be capable of was helping Ty. But here she stood, silent and as incapable as ever.

Finally she dropped down next to him, bumped her shoulder against his. “Would it help if I got naked?”

The comment, so wildly inappropriate, made him grin. “Haven’t you already done enough of that for one day?”

She laughed. After a long moment of silence, she said, “Does the reason you want this farm have something to do with memories of your sister?”

“Maybe.” He leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees. “Maybe not. I loved this place long before Tara was even born. At one time, rumor had it that the Henderson’s were one of the wealthiest families in Missouri. I told you how they’d open up their farm for Halloween. They also hosted several weddings. The stable was so cool and the house was just amazing. And they always had the most beautiful horses roaming the pastures.

“I was a lot older than Tara, but, yeah, horses were a connection for us. She rode, you know. Not just goofing around like I do. Actually competing. She was good, too. Maybe not Olympic good, but better than most around these parts. The connection she could make with even the most difficult horses always amazed me.”

“The horse whisperer.”

Dammit. Jordan had been so lost in Ty’s story, the words slipped out without thought. But as soon as they left her mouth, she wanted to snatch them back.

***

“What did you say?” Ty shifted upright. “How do you know I called her that?”

“I’m sure you told me—”

“No, I never mentioned it.”

In fact, he was certain he hadn’t mentioned the nickname to anyone since Tara died. He knew it. He
knew
Jordan had sensed or dreamed something since they’d arrived at the estate. He hated that she hid herself from the world, but it drove him nuts to know she was hiding from him, too. It was unbearably frustrating to see the truth in her eyes, to
know
something was going on, and yet also know she had no intention of telling him what it was.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Of course I trust you.” She laid a hand over the top of his. “More than I’ve ever trusted anyone.”

“Then will you answer one question honestly? Did the
horse whisperer
comment have anything to do with you connecting with Tara?” He paused, waiting for her to say something. When she didn’t, he said, “I know you see and hear the dead when you sleep. Does it happen when you’re awake, too?”

“Of course not.” Jordan scowled and stood.

He caught her hand and tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. “Is it always going to be forbidden for me to ask questions?”

“It’s not forbidden. There’s just no point in it.”

He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Maybe I’m to blame for some of this. The first time you told me about your dreams, about Tara, I didn’t react like I should have. I didn’t know what to believe.”

Her long hair hung like a curtain between them, hiding most of her face. Something not entirely accidental, he was sure. He brushed it back, tucked it behind her ear so she had no choice but to see him.

“It didn’t take me long to realize you—your dreams and your gift—were the reason I caught the guy who killed my sister. You gave me answers I couldn’t find on my own. You have an amazing gift. I hope you’ll eventually talk to me about it.”

Relief washed through him when she put her arms around his neck and held on.

“Sometimes I can hear her,” she admitted quietly against his ear. “Sometimes I just feel her.”

Jordan pulled back and let her gaze meet his. “At night, when my body and mind relax, that’s when the spirits show up. During the day, I block all of them. That’s my rule.” She grinned and shook her head. “The exception to that rule is Tara. I’ve never been able to block her. Actually, I’ve never tried to block her because . . . well . . . I guess because I like having her around. She reminds me what it feels like to be a big sister. Plus she saved your life. It wouldn’t feel right to block her.”

Ty’s gut twisted and rolled. He wanted to say something, felt it was important to say something after that huge admission. But damned if he could find his voice.

“So yes I can hear her,” she finally conceded. “When I’m awake. When I’m at work. When you and I are together,
especially
when we’re together.
Christ,
Ty, sometimes she just never stops talking.”

He laughed. It was either that or cry. That was Tara, right down to the bone. He’d always known she could talk the ears off a deaf guy. “Is Tara the only one?” It was a rare event when Jordan opened up. He was pressing his luck, but he wanted to understand. “What about your family? Do you connect with them?”

Jordan shrugged. “Sometimes. It’s more complicated with them because of what happened. Or because of what I thought happened. I sense my mom around a lot.”

“Katy?” he asked.

“No.” She shook her head. “I let her down, Ty. The last solid memory I have of that night is her calling my name. Right before the last shot rang out. Can you blame her?”

“Oh, baby, that isn’t why she hasn’t connected with you. You were ten, for crying out loud. She’s not going to hold that night against you for twenty years. That’s crazy.”

“Is it? Because I’ve held that night against my dad for that long. Apparently, the Delanys hold long, irrational grudges. My dad has tried and tried to get my attention. I’ve blocked him with every fiber of my soul because I could never understand why he would choose selling drugs over his own family. Now I find out everything I believed about him may be wrong. I don’t even know how to process the information.”

Ty wrapped his arms tighter around her. He nuzzled the curve of her neck. “Let’s wait until we actually get some information before we figure out how to deal with it, okay? Either way, you did the best you could at the time.” He kissed her neck and then her ear. “And whatever information comes, we’re going to process it together.” He held her for a moment before making one final request.

“Will you tell Tara that I love her?” he said.

“You just did.” Jordan touched her lips to his. “And trust me, she already knew.”

Chapter 6

When Trevor came back to the stable, Jordan left. The guys would grunt their apologies at each other and move on. The last thing she felt like decoding was brothers and their relationship rules. Ty and Trevor were close. They’d work it out.

She remembered the way Tara’s spirit had fought to save Ty’s life. And she understood with painful clarity how close all three of them had been.

The ache of what Ty’s family had been through was something Jordan still had trouble dealing with. She’d spent a lot of years perfecting the ability to remain emotionless. Living numbly was the only way she’d been able to survive her family’s murder.

Then she’d gone and had sex with Tyler McGee and remaining numb had flown right out the window. Now the touchy-feely crap kept sucker-punching her around every corner. Freaking man. Even as she thought it, a big goofy grin spread across her face.

She found herself hiking along the edge of the woods, stopping every so often to take in the landscape. The property really was extraordinary.

Giant pastures surrounded the house and stable. The pastures were surrounded by woods, as if nature had created a fancy frame around the acres of open space. Or maybe the Hendersons had created it. Either way, it was easy to see how grand it all would’ve seemed to a young boy who loved horses.

With each step her mind felt more at ease. All the tension that was always so twisted up inside of her unknotted and loosened. The air felt cleaner, the quiet a bit more peaceful. She’d bet the views—now just pastures of brown grasses and trees without leaves—would be nothing short of amazing when they came alive in spring.

She snaked her way into the woods and stayed on a well-worn path. Coming out on the other side, she stopped, breathless at what she’d stumbled upon—a lake the size of a football field sparkled in the middle of another pasture.

Trees, birds, rocks, grass—all of it was arranged like someone had carefully placed each postcard-perfect item to its advantage. The picture it made was overwhelmingly pretty. Even the sun cooperated, reflecting off tiny ripples in the water. It wasn’t often that Jordan was awestruck by the sheer beauty of something, but the pond took her breath away.

Okay, Ty’s eyes had done a pretty good number on her the first time she’d focused on them. Still . . . 

This was inspiring in a wholly different way.

Ducks, actual ducks, were swimming in the water. She stood still for a long time. When they turned their beaks in her direction, she knew she’d been made. They didn’t swim frantically away, so she crept to the water’s edge.

The ducks swam closer. Odd. Didn’t most birds avoid humans? She backed up a little. Then she backed up a lot.

The damned things weren’t only swimming closer, they waddled right out of the water and were heading straight for her. There were only eight or ten, but they seemed to be on a mission. Pissed maybe? Had she stepped into their sacred territory?

“Okay, okay, you win. I’ll go.” She eased back faster now, but the teeny vultures kept pace. The faster she backed up, the faster they came. She’d seen this in a movie once, that bird movie where everybody got pecked to death. A huge boulder sat at the water’s edge, so she circled it, then jumped on top of it. “Ha. Bet you can’t jump with your stubby bird legs. How do you like me now?”

In answer, one of them flapped its wings and landed next to her—right next to her—on the boulder. She swore the little villain rolled its eyes.

“Oh, the wings. Right. I forgot about those.” She took another step back. “Dude, I’m scrappier than I look. If you draw first blood, I’ll defend myself. I won’t like it, but I will.” None of them seemed particularly angry or vicious. They were all just staring at her like they expected her to tap dance or break out into song. “What the fuck?” she mumbled to herself.

After careful assessment of all the feathered suspects, she squatted to study the one little dude more closely. “Seriously, what do you want?”

“Hey, you guys, come on. Come here,” said a female voice.

Jordan’s head snapped up. The lady from the donut shop—Liz—was tramping her way. And Jordan felt like a complete moron standing on top of a huge rock and throwing down with a tiny two-pound bird.

Liz rushed closer. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry.” She had a bag in her hand and fished out what looked to be bread. Started tossing it around. “Come on, now, leave her alone. She doesn’t have any food.”

“
Food
,” Jordan said. “That’s the missing element—the little buggers wanted food.” Jordan jumped off the big boulder and walked to Liz. “Crap, I completely missed that one. I suck at this nature thing.”

Liz giggled. “Honey, I’m sorry. I sneak over here and feed them about this time every day. The Henderson property has been empty for so long, no one minded. But I’ll stop. My husband has told me I shouldn’t come here.”

Jordan held up a hand. “Why do you have to stop feeding them?”

“Well, the lake is on your property, not ours. But when I saw them this fall, I couldn’t help myself. I kept thinking they’d go someplace warmer, but they just didn’t. And we’ve had such a bad winter. I couldn’t bear the thought of them hungry.”

“Liz, neither Ty nor I care if you feed the ducks. We don’t even own the land yet.” Jordan looked in the direction of the house. “Although I suspect that might change soon. Ty seems to be pretty in love with the place.”

“Just wait until summer when everything is blooming. It’s magnificent,” Liz said. “We’ve never been able to imagine living anywhere else. Do you think you’ll be moving in?”

Jordan took a breath, looked back at Liz. “Uh, Ty has loved this place since he was a kid. I’ve always been a city girl, but I think I could get used to it, too.”

Liz emptied the bag of food and, sure enough, the ducks waddled back to the water. “Ellie and I used to sit by this lake and chat for hours.”

“You were friends with Ellie Henderson?”

“Good friends.” Liz gave a sad nod.

Interrogating the neighbors probably wasn’t going to make a great first impression, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. “You know, I’m kind of curious about the history of the horse ranch and why it’s been empty for so long. Can you tell me what happened with the Hendersons?”

The grim set of Liz’s expression convinced Jordan she’d overstepped. The older woman’s hands fisted around the empty brown bag. “Joe was in a car accident and, well, it just crushed Ellie. She never recovered from the loss. Less than a year later, we lost her, too.”

“She passed away?”

Liz choked out a humorless laugh and looked back up at Jordan. “That depends on who you ask. Technically, she went missing. The gossips around town say she took off after Joe died. But that’s ridiculous. I know she’s dead.”

Jordan didn’t want to come right out and agree with Liz, but the idea that Ellie Henderson was alive did seem ridiculous. Especially since Jordan was pretty sure she’d been connecting with Ellie’s spirit. “Why do people believe she took off?”

“Mostly because her body was never found. And the ranch was having financial difficulties. Joe’s accident was in October of 2004. I’ve never seen anyone as inconsolable as Ellie was. To the point that she just . . .” Liz shook her head and teared up. “I couldn’t get through to her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get her to talk to me.”

Liz shrugged. “I don’t like to carry on rumors, but there was talk even before Joe’s accident that the ranch was struggling money-wise. But Ellie never mentioned anything like that, and I didn’t think it was my place to bring it up. I was trying to be a good friend. Now I think a good friend would have insisted on knowing things and pushed harder to help.”

Jordan decided guilt was the great equalizer. Almost everyone had just enough tucked away to make sure happiness didn’t get out of hand.

“I don’t think you can bully someone you’re supposed to be friends with into telling you their private business. I bet Ellie knew you were there for her.” Jordan gestured to the big boulder. “Why don’t we sit for a minute?”

Jordan sat, but Liz only leaned against the rock.

“I hope she knew I would have done anything for her. I loved her as much as I loved any of my own sisters.”

I loved you, too, and I’m sorry I didn’t confide in you.

Jordan didn’t say the words, but they were front and center in her mind. Without a doubt, she’d heard and felt Ellie.

Sure as she was sitting on Ellie’s boulder.

Sure as they were overlooking Ellie’s lake.

Ellie’s words played in her mind with a sharp, precise clarity, every bit as clear as Tara’s thoughts had come to be.

But Jordan didn’t relay the message. She’d only barely admitted to Ty the oddness of hearing his dead sister; she wasn’t going there with a woman she’d just met.

“A man moved into Ellie’s stable only weeks after Joe died,” Liz said. “Ellie said he’d worked with Joe before and was going to help with the horses, but she barely spoke to anyone after he came. Then a few months later, she disappeared. He claimed she up and left, told him to take care of things while she went to stay with her sister in California. But I called Ellie’s sister.” Liz turned and met Jordan’s gaze. “There was no visit planned. No one heard from Ellie after that.”

“Didn’t the police investigate?”

“I think so, but there was no body. She and her car just disappeared.”

“Who was the guy, the one who moved in with her?”

Liz shook her head. “Gosh, it’s been several years. I don’t remember his last name. But people in town called him J.J.” She pushed off the boulder. “I’m sorry I interrupted your walk. I should go. I try to feed the ducks and get back before Bill comes home from the shop and scolds me.”

Jordan slid to her feet. “Don’t be sorry. And thanks for the answers. Probably the cop in me, but I hate loose ends. Guess I have the annoying habit of asking more questions than I should. But I have one more if you don’t mind. What happened to the guy?”

“They found him dead several months later.” One corner of Liz’s lip turned upward, almost as if she wanted to smile. “Got drunk as a skunk and passed out in his car. The temperatures got well below freezing that night. Found him frozen to death in an empty parking lot behind the local bar.”

“Bummer,” Jordan said.

“Big bummer.” Liz did smile now. “I’m sorry. I can’t say I was broken up about it. Except that I knew we’d never figure out where Ellie was after that.”

Jordan tortured the neighbor long enough. “I’m sorry I brought the subject up. It’s just hard for me to live here and not know what happened.”

“I really wish I had more answers.” Liz gazed out over the lake. “Ellie loved this spot. If you only knew how many hours we spent out here gossiping. It was shameful, really.” The older woman stood motionless for a few seconds, then seemed to realize she’d been drifting in a memory. “I’m so sorry. This wasn’t a very nice way to welcome you to your new home, was it?”

“Are you kidding? You saved me.” She gestured at the ducks. “I’m certain they were trying to decide how to take me down.”

Liz laughed. “Just keep reminding them who’s the boss. And if that doesn’t work, bring some bread next time. It doesn’t take much to make them happy.”

“Liz.” Jordan called out to the other woman. “Don’t stop feeding the ducks or hanging out around the lake just because we may buy the place. I don’t want that. Ty wouldn’t want it, either.”

Liz nodded with a warm smile.

“And Ellie sure wouldn’t want it.” Jordan added. “You’re welcome here any time.”

***

The next morning, Ty insisted on going back to Jordan’s condo in Saint Louis to help her pack up a few things.

In other words, to make sure she didn’t drive Molly.

So she worked his butt off, made him pack up a ton more junk than she’d originally planned to take. Her ploy seemed only fair. Plus now they were well-stocked.

They’d even stopped at a store and bought a mini fridge, a new coffee maker, and just about every cleaning product on the market. Logic told her that purchasing a few hundred dollars’ worth of cleaning supplies shouldn’t have been enjoyable.

Strangely, it had been.

She’d have wagered everything she owned against being
that
woman. The one who, of all stupid things, held hands with a man and teased and laughed while shopping. Yet picking out necessities with Ty had felt like the most natural activity in the world.

Until they hit the condom aisle.

Heat on par with the seventh circle of hell had scorched her face when Ty snatched two boxes of rubbers, juggled them, and said, “Pick your poison, baby. Ribbed or glow in the dark?”

She was ridiculously head over heels in love with a bonehead.

On the way back to the house, it hit her how invested she’d become in the idea of starting a life with Ty. The reality of taking the giant step made panic and doubt root themselves around her heart like rapidly growing weeds.

What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t be normal enough? Maybe the visions and spirits won’t allow me to be normal.

She rationalized while scouring the kitchen—the house was huge, so maybe she could sleep in another room if she was working a case and the dreams got out of hand. Plus, if Ty was determined to live on the old ranch, which might be home to a spirit as well, a need for a liaison between this world and the next wasn’t entirely bogus.