Providence (26 page)

After my stomach relaxed and the gagging ceased, Jared lifted me into his arms and returned me to my seat.

“I’m taking you to the loft,” he warned, putting the gear in drive.

I was too exhausted and sick to argue.

Jared carried me up the two flights of stairs and gently placed me on my side of the bed. I let my body melt into the mattress while I listened to the water run in the bathroom. Moments later a cool, folded wash cloth was laid it across my forehead.

“Déjà vu,” I said.

“I wasn’t taking your condition into consideration when I drug you out to see Eli, and I should have gotten you something to eat. I’m sorry.”

“Quit apologizing. You didn’t force me to drink too much last night. How are you feeling? Like me?”

“I’m not sick, just uncomfortable. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll quit apologizing if you quit worrying about me,” he said, brushing my hair back from my face. I smiled but didn’t make any promises. Jared kissed my cheek. “I’m going downstairs to get you some crackers and soda to settle your stomach. Try to rest.”

“I’m really fine. You don’t have to fuss,” I said, pushing myself up against the pillows.

“I’m just trying to make you comfortable.” He had a strange expression on his face, almost sullen.

“Your bed is a thousand times more comfy than my bed at Andrews, and even my bed at home. And neither of them smells like you.”

Jared fidgeted before speaking. “So…why is it that you’re so against staying here? Is it me?”

My eyebrows immediately pulled in, hurt that he would ever come to that conclusion. “No! I’m not against staying here. I love staying here. I just need to go back to Andrews.”

Jared raised an eyebrow. “And why is that? I thought staying alive would be a good enough reason for you to want to stay here with me. You didn’t mind when I needed to dress your hand every night.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about being forced into hiding, it’s about my friends, and it’s about keeping some degree of normalcy in my life. I know you want me here where you know that I’m safe,” I explained, resting my hand on his leg.

“Not just to keep you safe. I just want you here,” he said, tenderly tracing my jaw line with his fingertip.

I smiled at his words, my jaw radiating with the heat from his touch. “We have plenty of time for that, right?”

Jared’s eyes immediately clouded over and I finally understood the urgency. He wanted to spend every second of the time we had left together. I looked away from him; I had to have faith that we would make it through this. My eyes felt heavy and I turned onto my side, pressing my cheek into my pillow.

“I have faith in you, Jared. More than you have in yourself. I’m not afraid,” I said, closing my eyes.

The door slammed and I jerked, looking around the room. It was morning.

“Can you close the door like a normal person?” Jared snapped.

“This is a terrible idea, Jared. Maybe the worst one you’ve had, yet,” Claire complained. Small footsteps stomped up the stairs. “You have to talk him out of this, Nina. He won’t listen to me. Not in the mood he’s in.”

“Stay out of it, Claire,” Jared said from downstairs.

Claire made a face and then jumped from the railing, landing on her feet. “I can’t stay out of it, because you keep making it my business!” she hissed.

I quickly dressed and met them downstairs. Jared was dressed in a buttoned-down shirt and slacks, holding a motorcycle helmet. He shoved it toward me without a word.

“What’s this?” I asked, staring at the helmet.

“I think better on my bike,” Jared said.

I looked up at him. “What’s going on?”

His expression didn’t change. “Are you coming or not?”

I looked at Claire and then to Jared. I pressed my lips together and then took the helmet from him. Claire sighed and stormed out.

I followed Jared outside and eyed the slick, black beauty parked on the curb. “What is that?”

Jared sighed. “It’s a Vulcan.”

“Weird. I thought it was a motorcycle.” I smiled, but Jared didn’t find humor in my words. I put up my hand and separated my fingers into a ‘V’. “Live long and…no?” I shook my head, seeing that Jared was in no mood for jokes.

I shoved the helmet on and fastened the chin strap. My father had a motorcycle and, although I’d never been brave enough to drive one, I was well-versed in being a passenger. Jared revved the engine and I climbed on behind him, glad that it was another nice day.

He raced down the street, taking various turns. It wasn’t until we pulled onto the sidewalk in front of Sovereign Bank that I understood the reason behind Jared’s mood. He lifted me off the seat as if I weighed nothing, placing me on my feet.

“Is there a reason you’re not speaking to me?” I asked, shoving his helmet at him.

“It’s not you that I’m angry with. It’s Jack,” he growled.

“Why?”

“Because he’s making it impossible for me to keep you distanced from this. They need both of our signatures. The box is in a special area. We need the key, our signatures and our fingerprints to get in,” he said, glaring at the door of the bank.

“But they don’t have my fingerprints.”

“I’ve never given them mine, either, but they have it on file,” Jared said, distant and cold.

“You tried to come here without me? Is that why Claire was at the loft?” I crossed my arms. “And let me guess, it just burns you that you needed my help after all.”

Jared’s eyes jerked to mine. “Is that what you think?” I stood with my arms still tightly intertwined across my ribs. Jared shook his head at me and held out his arm. “After you.”

We walked into the bank and a man in a stuffy and notably hideous light grey suit approached us.

“Mr. Stephens, this is Nina Grey,” Jared said.

The man held out his lanky hand and I took it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Grey. Right this way.” He ushered us across the lobby to an elevator. Once inside, he used a small key to gain access to a lower floor that wasn’t on the button display.

The elevator opened into a cavernous room with an enormous bronze vault. Mr. Stephens briskly walked ahead of us, taking his place behind a tall desk with a computer. As we approached, he was tapping the keyboard.

“Miss Grey, I’ll need to see two forms of identification, please,” Mr. Stephens said, looking up from the monitor.

I shot an irritated look at Jared, realizing I’d left my purse at the loft. Jared reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet. I snatched it from his hand and then put my driver’s license and student ID on the small space in front of the computer monitor. Mr. Stephens’ eyes darted twice between my face and each of the cards and then nodded. I put the cards back into my wallet as he repeated the process with Jared.

“Miss Grey, there is a red pad in front of you. I’ll need you to press and hold your thumb there until you see a flash, and then I’ll need you to do the same, Mr. Ryel,” he said, watching us both follow his directions. “Now sign here and approve the date with the green button when you’re finished.”

I hastily signed and clicked the button with the pen, handing it to Jared, who signed his name under mine.

“And you have the key?”

“We do,” Jared said in a low voice.

“Right this way,” Mr. Stephens said, the vault automatically opening.

The room was filled with various sized boxes, all plated in the same bronze color as the door. Our steps echoed against the marble floor.

Mr. Stephens turned to us, pointing to a shiny golden square on the wall with a small black button in the center. “Press this button to let me know you’re finished. It was a pleasure doing business with you. Miss Grey…Mr. Ryel,” he nodded, leaving us alone. The vault door sealed shut behind him, and Jared’s eyes drifted to mine.

“Okay, he was creepy,” I whispered, half-expecting Jared to offer comfort.

Without a word, he walked ahead, pulling the key from his pocket. I scanned the boxes on the wall and noticed that the numbers were out of order.

“This is going to take forever!” I complained. Jared still didn’t respond, so I rolled my eyes and looked for box eight twenty-five.

Ten minutes later, Jared called to me. “Nina?”

I rushed toward his voice and found him in the back corner, looking at a bronze square the size of a shoebox. “Well, we should have looked back here, first. This is just like Jack, isn’t it?”

Jared still didn’t speak; he simply shoved the key in the lock and opened it, exposing a tan safe with a large black combination lock and handle on the front. He placed the safe on the floor at my feet as if it were a shoe box. I was sure it must have been at least fifty pounds, if not more, but Jared didn’t brace himself against the weight. The muscles of his arms didn’t even strain.

“The code is a combination,” I said.

Jared nodded, pulling out the wrinkled piece of paper from his inside jacket pocket. He read the code aloud and then looked up at me.

“Does that make sense to you?” he asked, holding out the paper for me to take.

825 2R2TL223TR05

“The eight twenty-five is the box number, and the rest is the key to the combination. But, combinations are just three numbers, one or two digits, right?” I didn’t look up, and Jared didn’t speak, so I wasn’t sure if he was in agreement with me or not. “So we need to figure out which of these numbers are the numbers of the combination. And the others are…what? Red herrings?” I shook my head. “No. Jack didn’t play games, these are all important.”

I concentrated on the dial of the combination lock, looking at the numbers and thinking about turning the dial to each number in the different ways they appeared in the code. I burst into laughter and looked at Jared with excitement.

“I’ve got it!” I smiled.

Jared masked an emotion, which in turn curbed my enthusiasm. It seemed we were back to square one of our relationship.

“You’ve got what?” he asked, his voice flat.

“The letters, the R T L letters, they mean right turn and left turn. Turn it twice to the right, stopping on two. Turn left twice, stopping on twenty-two. Three turns right, stopping on five.”

Jared shrugged. “Try it.”

My first inclination was to wad up the paper, throw it at him, and tell him to try it. My temper cooled as reason crept into my mind. I wanted to see what was in the safe, and he would catch the paper, anyway, even if I did manage to aim well enough to hit him.

I kneeled down and twisted the combination. I followed the directions, but when I stopped on the last number, it didn’t catch the way combination locks should.

My anger at Jared coupled with my frustration with the lock made my eyes water. When I tried to inconspicuously wipe my cheek with my shoulder, he sighed.

“Are you crying?” Jared asked.

I sniffed. “No. Leave me alone.”

“Try it again,” he said, indifferent.

I cleared the dial and paid close attention to each turn and stop, but when I reached the five, I passed by it once more. I had only passed it twice instead of three times. The lock caught and I gasped.

“It worked,” I whispered, staring in shock at the safe.

Jared pulled me off the floor and kneeled down to open the safe. He slumped over and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Damn it, Jack. What have you done?”

Chapter Thirteen

Guilty

“What is it?” I asked, leaning over his shoulder.

He turned to face me holding a brown, leather-bound book. It surpassed antique in appearance; well-worn on the edges, with a strange branded seal on the front cover.

“It’s the Naissance de Demoniac. The Bible of Hell,” he said in a whisper.

“Why is the Bible of Hell in Jack’s safe?” I said, stunned.

“Each of the patricians of the hierarchy of Hell has one. This one belongs to Shax,” he said, eyeing the black brand in the center. “I don’t want to know how Jack got his hands on it, but the fact that both of our names are on the account here tells me that he knew I would go against his wishes, and once I did, we would need this.”

“Need it for what?”

“To barter for the only thing Jack would be willing to hand this over for: Your life.” His expression was tortured, as if the guilt was crushing him.

“Jared….” I said, reaching out to him.

He pulled away and emotion disappeared from his face.

His rejection fueled my irritation. “Are we going to leave it here or take it with us?” I asked.

“It’s staying here. I don’t want this anywhere near you. Let’s hope Shax is the one demon in Hell that won’t hold a grudge.”

I reached my hand out to the book. “What’s in it?”

Jared jerked it away and kneeled down to thrust it back into the safe. He slammed the door shut, locked it and pushed the safe into the safety deposit box with a loud bang. He threw the paper bearing the code in with it and locked the door, shoving the key into his pocket.

Grabbing my arm, he rushed down the aisle toward the door. A short, low buzzer sounded when Jared pressed the button, and he fidgeted until Mr. Stephens answered.

“We’re ready,” Jared growled.

As soon as the vault opened, I was pulled forward again. His long strides had me trotting alongside him to keep up. The elevator doors slid open, revealing Mr. Stephens’ lanky frame. Jared stood rigid as the elevator climbed, and when the doors opened again he burst out, keeping a firm grip on my arm.

At his motorcycle, Jared wasted no time handing me his helmet. I fumbled with the chin strap, and with one movement he snapped his firmly across my neck and swung his leg over the seat, simultaneously pulling me on the seat behind him with one arm.

He wrapped my arms tightly against his chest. “Hang on,” he demanded.

We raced down the road, weaving through traffic, blowing through red lights and stops signs until we reached his building.

My feet barely touched the steps, and once we were inside the loft, he released me. Without a word he climbed the stairs and disappeared beyond the railing. I stood at the bottom of the steps and listened as his footsteps stopped in the center of his bedroom. I waited, listening for a clue as to what he was up to, and then he walked into the bathroom. Seconds later I heard the shower turn on, so I waited.

Ten minutes passed. I sat on the couch, staring at the dark television screen. Nothing about Jared’s behavior made sense, and I assumed he would explain it in his own time, as he always did.

After half an hour, I began to doubt my own reasoning. I climbed the stairs and made my way to the bathroom door, pressing my ear against the wood. The shower was still running so I tried to be patient, but after the fourth time of glancing at the clock I couldn’t let him avoid me anymore.

I lifted my fist to knock on the door but held back, turning the knob instead. The steam bellowed out around me and dissipated, revealing Jared slumped on the floor. His knees up, his back against the tile wall, his head down; he looked hopeless.

I sat on my knees in front of him. “Jared?”

He looked up at me, his eyes a midnight blue. “The night I sat on that bench, Nina, I signed your death warrant.”

“What are you talking about?” The sight of him frightened me. “Please tell me what’s going on!”

“We had more company last night,” Jared said, with the same tortured look from before.

“Who was it this time?” I asked.

“Gabriel,” he choked out.

“You’re not talking about your father, are you? You mean The Gabriel?”

“Yes…The Gabriel.” Jared said, rolling his eyes at his own words. “He’s one of the most vocal advocates for eliminating fallen Archs before they have a chance to procreate. My existence insults him,” he said, an indignant look flitting across his face. “Gabriel’s a messenger…he also serves as the angel of death.”

I swallowed. “What did he say to you?”

Jared leaned his head back against the wall. “He said that he’ll see me soon.”

My mouth opened as I gasped. “What did you say to that?”

“That he always says that,” he said with a contrived smile.

I thought for a moment. “Eli doesn’t mind Hybrids. Maybe he can talk to Gabriel?”

Jared breathed out through his nose, trying to be patient with my suggestion. “Nina, no one but the Almighty tells Gabriel anything.”

My shoulders sunk. “So now we’re fighting demons and angels? How did we sink into this mess?”

“I shouldn’t have sat on that bench.”

I touched his face. “You sitting on that bench is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Jared recoiled from my touch. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You have no idea what I’ve caused. Shax won’t stop until he has the book, and even then there’s a good chance he’ll retaliate. Hell wants us dead and Heaven won’t help us, Nina. I don’t know what to do.”

“This isn’t your fault. If Jack hadn’t taken the book, none of this would have happened.”

Jared laughed once. “Including us.”

I frowned. “Didn’t we agree we had to get through the nightmare to get our miracle?”

Jared smiled infinitesimally. “Yeah.” He parted his knees and pulled me to him, hugging me to his chest.

“What are we going to do about what we saw today?” I whispered into his neck.

“Right now we’re just dealing with humans. We have to make sure it stays that way.”Jared shifted and stood up, bringing me along with him. He brought me to the middle of his room and took in a deep cleansing breath, pressing his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so….” he shook his head, clearly in full self-loathing mode.

I inched up on the balls of my feet and touched my lips to his. He cautiously kissed me back, and then sighed again.

“You’re under a lot of pressure right now,” I said, running my fingers through the sides of his hair.

“The last person I should be taking that out on is you. The way I treated you this morning is unforgiveable,” he frowned.

“It was unforgiveable,” I said. “But I forgive you.”

“We know what they want; we’re just not sure how far they’ll go to get it. Claire and I can handle the humans. The hardest part will be waiting for their next move.”

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. “Can we start this day over?”

Jared kissed the top of my head. “Why don’t we start with getting you to class? You have a test today, don’t you?”

I shook my head. “I have a paper to turn in at ten thirty.”

Jared released me, disappearing to the bathroom. He emerged in a light grey t-shirt and black soccer shorts, with his ratty running shoes. He looked dramatically different than the more professional attire he wore to the bank.

I stood by the door and waited while he pulled a hooded sweatshirt over his head.

“Get your stuff together and I’ll take you to school. I need to finish setting up for next week, so I’ll meet you later, okay? Claire will be close,” he said, almost in passing.

“Jared?” My fists gripped the fabric of his shirt, holding him tightly to me just as he began to walk away. He looked down at me and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Yes?” he smiled, the softness finally returning to his eyes.

“Can we just pretend it’s a normal vacation and forget about everything here?”

“Absolutely,” he said, hugging me to him.

At Brown, Jared seemed to be back to his old self, which helped the unease surrounding me. Bibles from Hell, demons with criminals-for-hire, antagonistic angels—trying to make sense of it all only created more questions.

I snapped out of my daze when I saw Jared’s expression. “See you at one thirty?” I asked.

Ryan passed us as he walked into the classroom, nodding to Jared. I noticed Jared watch him for a long moment, and then he looked into my eyes.

“Nina,” he said, a bit nervous. “I’m sorry about earlier. It won’t happen again.”

“You’ve already said that,” I said, pulling up one corner of my mouth.

Guilt displayed across Jared’s face. “I know. I just don’t think that I was clear.”

“You were clear. Consider it forgotten.”

His face seemed to relax, then, and he kissed me once more. “I’ll have your things back in your room. I’ll meet you there when you get back.”

I nodded and watched him walk down the hall. Before he turned the corner, he looked back at me and smiled. I waved and extended the handle of my bag, continuing to my seat.

“I came by your room about nine last night. You weren’t there,” Ryan said in a hushed voice, tapping his pen on my desk.

“I was sick last night. I stayed with Jared.”

Ryan’s face turned concerned. “You could have stayed here. I could have kept an eye on you.”

I smiled, knowing he was sincere. I appreciated his attempt to repair our friendship. The bitterness from before was absent from his face, and sitting beside him felt right again.

“I’m fine, now. It was just a bad hangover. I didn’t feel well all day.”

“Yeah, I didn’t feel the greatest, either,” he said, shaking his head.

“And yet you offer to take care of me? That would be a sad sight, both of us lying around, puking our guts out,” I laughed, shaking my head.

Ryan chuckled, taking my paper when the professor instructed the class to pass them to the end of the row. During lecture, a small square of paper landed on my desk. I smiled and pulled open the folds.

It was in Ryan’s chicken scratch.

Will you go to lunch w/me? (circle one)

I’ll lose my appetite if I have to sit across from you.

I already have lunch plans w/my husband.

Of course, I need to practice my slogans.

I wanted to roll my eyes at his childish note, but when I saw the expectant grin on his face, I couldn’t say no. I circled ‘C’, folded it, and tossed it back. Ryan always came up with the silliest things, and I adored that about him. Unbeknownst to him, he was a safe harbor from my other life, the one that had become full of shadows and uncertainty.

I watched him unfold the paper and read my answer. He didn’t look up at me; he folded back the small torn page and stuffed it in his pocket, a wide grin across his face.

After class, Ryan and I walked to The Gate. He was his usual amusing self, and I laughed every step of the way. A few times I noticed he would hug me to him, nudge me, and a few times he led me by the small of my back through the doors he held open. I had the distinct feeling we were on a date, even though that wasn’t the case. The only thing that bothered me was that Ryan’s touch didn’t bother me. It wasn’t the electricity I felt with Jared, but it felt expected, almost comfortable.

I didn’t realize when Ryan asked me to lunch that the entire study group was coming, but I smiled at the friends that filtered in and surrounded us. Over the next hour, we sat hunched over our paper plates of pizza that we balanced on our laps, the boys trying their best to keep their towering stacks of slices from falling to the floor. Ryan and Kim were inexplicably engaged in a contest to see who could take the bigger bite. Our ordinary moment was a welcomed break and I smiled at the laughter saturating the air around me, absorbing the sweet chaos I hadn’t realized I’d missed.

Ryan walked out with me and smiled. “You’re staying here, tonight, huh?”

“I am,” I grinned.

He prolonged our walk with a leisurely pace. “Are you going to study group tonight?”

“Are you?”

He shrugged. “I need to. I was going to ask for your help.”

“You need more help than I can give you, but I’ll do my best.”

Ryan kept his hands in his pockets, angling his face towards the sunshine. He looked truly happy, and I felt a warm tinge in my chest. I was hopeful that we could remain in each other’s lives, after all.

“It’s nice today. I could grab a blanket and we could hang out on the greens,” he said, purposefully bumping into me.

Jared waiting for me came to the forefront of my mind, but I didn’t want to spoil Ryan’s buoyant mood. We walked a few more steps as I decided how I should explain to him why I wouldn’t. I had experienced normal, the normal I had been desperate for, and yet I found myself giddy at the thought of seeing Jared again.

“It’s okay if you can’t. I’ll see you tonight.” Ryan said, squinting as he looked to the sky again. I was thankful that his radiant grin hadn’t faded.