Psychopathia: A Horror Suspense Novel (30 page)

Toby shook his head. ‘Back to the port pub.’

She frowned. ‘But that’s in Port Chalmers. Miles away. Why do you want to go there? We were only there the other day because we’d just visited Matt’s sister.’ A shake of the head and she laughed. ‘Believe me, you need a strong drink after spending an hour with that woman. She has three kids and doesn’t know how to talk about anything else.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘
Boooooring. Oh my god.’

But Toby was shaking his head. ‘That’s where I want to go.’ He gave a sweet little shrug that made him look like a little boy. A bit lost. Her heart melted. ‘I don’t want to run into…well, you know…lots of people I know. It’s awkward.’

Of course it was. She was being insensitive even suggesting it. Hugging him closer, she leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

‘Of course. Port Chalmers it is then, but we’ll have to take the bus then, won’t we? Tully still has our car.’ It wasn’t really
their
car anymore – Tully had paid them back their share, but Lara couldn’t help but think of it that way. If it wasn’t for her and Matt, Tully would never have got the car in the first place.

But Toby was talking and
Lara tuned back in. ‘There’s a bus every twenty minutes. If we hurry we can catch one straight away.’ She saw him looking at her shoes. ‘Can you run in those?’ he asked.

‘On the flat I can,’ she laughed. ‘Let’s go.’

They made the bus, and got to the pub easy peasy.

‘Sun’s not even over the yardarm,’ Toby said, but she didn’t have the slightest idea what that meant and just goggled at him.

‘We have a great many hours to enjoy,’ he said, and she nodded.

‘I’ll have a Vodka Cruiser,’ she said. ‘A cranberry one.’ She was watching her weight, after all.

Toby brought her drink to the table and she smiled her thanks, held up her new shoes. ‘Thanks. What do you think?’

He blinked at them. ‘It’s possible to walk in those?’

She took a good long sip of her drink and giggled. ‘You bet. And they look fantastic.’ She wanted to tell him about the audition, and was gratified to find out that Toby was a good listener even when he wasn’t stoned out of his gourd like usual.

‘So, you understand, don’t you?’ she said. ‘It’s all very well, Matt wanting to go to these lectures and things, but this is my career, you know? It’s just the break I’ve been looking for.’

Toby nodded and looked so cute, all serious, a sheaf of too-long blond hair falling over one eye. She felt a tickle of desire, and picked up her drink. ‘How many of these have I had?’ she asked, and felt around under the table with her foot, rubbed it up and down Toby’s leg. He hadn’t told her yet what the special occasion was, but maybe she could help him really celebrate anyway. Schizo skinny Toby was really hot.

He reached out and ran a finger down the sensitive skin at her wrist. She shivered. ‘Want to get out of here?’ she asked.

‘Like you wouldn’t believe,’ he replied.

His touch made her want to swoon. Who knew the skin there on her inner arm was such a zone? It was making her panties damp.

‘What about Matt?’ he asked, spoiling the moment.

She felt how her breasts pushed against the fabric of her top with every breath. ‘What about him?’

‘He wouldn’t mind? I don’t want to cause problems between you both.’

Lara
didn’t want to think about Matt. ‘He hasn’t been real interested lately anyway. And it’s not like we’re joined at the hip anyway.’ She sat up and the room swayed around her. She giggled. ‘I think I drank a bit much.’

Toby put a steadying arm around her, picked up her bag holding the precious shoebox in it and guided her towards the door. She turned to wiggle a wave at the bar tender, but no one was there.

Outside, the day hit her in the face, cold and damp, the sea riding the breeze in a misty haze. ‘Urgh,’ she said, shrugging deeper into her coat and feeling some of the alcoholic euphoria shrivel up and leave her. ‘When did it start raining?’

Toby didn’t answer, just tightened his grip on her. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘I know somewhere dry and warm where we can get all cosy.’

Yes, she decided, that was a good idea. ‘Lead the way,’ she said and grappled with the belt on her coat. Strong, artistic fingers took it from her and did it for her. She looked down at the fingers, and wondered what they were going to feel like touching her bare skin.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked and she shivered.

‘Oh yes. Is it far?’

‘No. Not far at all.’

Good. She had a sudden thought. ‘Tully won’t be there, will she? Because I don’t think it would be a good idea if she’s there.’

‘She won’t be there. It will just be you and I and no one will ever know.’

That sounded okay. She let him lead her down the street, leaning in towards him, smelling the clean masculine scent of him, feeling his hand at her waist, and wondering if he was going to be better or worse between the sheets than Matt. Better, probably. Matt had been energetic though, she’d give him that. But Toby – there was something about Toby now. An edge or something he hadn’t had before. Before he got sick. Now there was something doubly daring about going off with him. She wondered if he would get rough. A little bit rough was okay.

He drew something out of his pocket and passed it to her. ‘I got you one for the road,’ he said and that made her laugh out loud.

She felt good. Even the cold and the drizzle couldn’t bring her down. Toby twisted the cap from the Vodka Cruiser and she tipped it up, not caring that some of the dark red liquid dribbled down her chin. Toby leaned over and licked it up, his tongue hot and slow against her damp skin. It might have been the most arousing thing anyone had ever done.

‘How far is this place we’re going?’ she asked, wanting him to slip his hands under her clothes right now.

‘Not far,’ he whispered. ‘But it’s a secret place, and we have to walk a little way.’

She took another swig at the vodka and shrugged. ‘As long as it’s private.’

He licked the corner of her mouth again and his breath was hot. ‘Oh, it’s private, don’t you worry. No one will hear you scream.’

She giggled. ‘You’re going to make me scream? You’re very sure of yourself Toby Collins.’

‘You’re going to scream so much, Lara, you have no idea.’

He pulled her closer and got her walking again, leaving the road and heading down an overgrown track. She stumbled a little and smiled. It felt good to let go like this, do something naughty.

Tully stared out the window and chewed her thumbnail. She’d managed to stop gnawing on her lip all the time, but her fingernails were paying the price. Spitting it out, she pressed her hand to her stomach, wishing the bad feeling in her gut would go away.

It was just that she was sure something was wrong. Except she didn’t know what. Forcing herself away from the window
and its view of the front path, she went into the kitchen to put the jug on. Maybe she’d have a cup of herbal tea this time though. All the coffee she’d been chugging was giving her an ulcer.

But she was so sure something was wrong. If only it was obvious what though. She’d tried to talk to Doctor Stebbins about it – about this constant feeling of something being off – but he’d only smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder. The nurse had been next, the one she’d struck up something of a friendship with while Toby was in the hospital, but Lois said it was just stress. That it was normal for family to feel like she did, because something
was
wrong. Someone she cared about was very ill.

Tully dropped
an herbal teabag in the cup and poured hot water over it. If only she could be convinced that the doctor and Lois were right. That her anxiety came just from the stress of having a mentally ill brother.

But Toby didn’t feel like her brother anymore.

She knew Toby as well as she knew herself. She’d shared the womb with him, then almost every waking moment of their lives. You didn’t – couldn’t – be closer to anyone than if you were twins. And they’d lost their mother. They only had each other when they were growing up.

It was her turn, that’s what it was. It was her turn to go nuts. She should turn herself in to the same psychiatric ward she’d just got her brother out of a few weeks ago. If it was Toby, of course.

And there was her ticket onto the ward. She’d get herself a cosy little room and a needle in the thigh for that tidbit. She’d get group therapy twice a day and a snug little one on one with Doctor Stebbins himself.

It was dark in the house. Most of the curtains were still pulled
from the night before. It didn’t seem important. Toby wasn’t afraid of the dark anymore. He’d not asked her to buy any more ultra-bright light bulbs, and she supposed that was a good thing. The drugs were doing their job, and he wasn’t suffering from delusions anymore. Maybe she could do with some of that good stuff.

Because she didn’t believe the man walking around looking like Toby was her brother. She pressed a hand to her mouth. There. She’d said it. Or thought it. Either way, she couldn’t ignore it now.

There was a knock at the door, and Tully sat up straight, her heart skipping a beat. Who would be knocking on their door? They’d had no visitors at all, not even the Mormons in their Men In Black suits. Mental illness had a stench, it seemed, and people stayed away because of it. She hadn’t even seen her father or Mary. Not once.

But whoever was at the door was convinced they had the right place because they knocked again, louder.
A voice called out, but Tully couldn’t make out the words. She smoothed her hands on her jeans and then wiped her face, just in case any stray tears lingered there.

There was a square of frosted glass on the door, and the muzzy shape of a head behind it. Whoever it was had short dark hair but that told her little. She closed her eyes and put her hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath and making sure her public face was on.

‘Matt!’ The last person she’d expected to see. Her mouth opened again, but the words stuck in her throat.

‘Hi Tully, how are you?’

Speechless. ‘Um, er, I didn’t expect to see you.’ She craned her neck to look around him.

‘It’s just me,’ he said. ‘Sorry.’

Tully couldn’t help it, disappointment surged through her and she struggled for a smile. ‘It’s still nice to see you,’ she said. ‘But…’

‘Why am I here?’

She hadn’t taken her hand off the doorknob. ‘Well, yeah.’

Matt cleared his throat. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Oh my god, of course. Sorry!’ She stood back and ushered him into the house. ‘This way. You want a coffee or something?’

‘Only if you’re having one. I don’t want to be a bother.’

She hurried to draw the curtains in the little dining alcove attached to the kitchen. ‘No problem, I just made a cup of tea. The water’s still hot.’ So was her face. What did Matt want, turning up like this?

‘Sorry to come around unannounced…I wasn’t sure I was actually going to until I was knocking on the door.’

Tully made him a coffee. He liked it with milk and two sugars, she remembered. ‘That’s okay. It’s just that I don’t get visitors. You’ve kind of caught me off guard.’ She passed him his drink and sat down at the table, looking at him, a hundred questions bursting in her throat.

‘Thanks.’ Matt sat down too, and there was silence for a moment. ‘I heard you weren’t going to
uni this year?’

She shook her head and fiddled with the teabag string. ‘It would have been too hard, what with…everything.’

‘I’m sorry.’ He shifted in the chair and looked genuinely regretful. ‘I’m sorry you were left to deal with it all on your own.’ Frowning, he ran a hand through his dark hair. ‘Lara, you know…’

‘How is she?’ Tully jumped in to ask, mostly because she couldn’t bear Matt’s obvious discomfort.

‘Ha. You know Lara. Nothing gets her down. She’s the same as always.’

Yes, Tully knew
Lara. She smiled, a bit sadly. ‘I love Lara,’ she said. ‘Always have, always will, but…’

‘She’s totally self-absorbed?’

Tully’s eyes widened. ‘Are the two of you okay?’

Matt lifted his shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. ‘I don’t know. We’re
kinda…growing apart, you know?’ He grimaced. ‘I hate that – saying
you know
all the time. Lara does it every time she opens her mouth.’

It was hard not to match the grimace. ‘When stuff like that starts bugging you…’

He sighed. ‘Yeah, I know,’ he said, and laughed, but it was humourless. Lifting his eyes, he looked across the table at her. ‘But it wasn’t Lara I came to talk to you about.’ He hesitated. ‘I wanted to ask about Toby.’

Her heart slammed against her chest. ‘Why? What’s happened? What did he do?’

Matt reached out and touched her hand. ‘Hey, it’s all right. Nothing’s happened.’ He took his hand back. ‘But Lara and I did run into him in the Port pub the other day.’

‘He’s not supposed to be drinking!’

A complicated expression on Matt’s face and he leaned back in the chair. ‘Well, he wasn’t. I mean, I bought him a drink – I didn’t know; I didn’t think. But he didn’t touch it.’