PUCKED Up (43 page)

“
Oh. Well, thanks, I guess . . . is that the only reason you called?

“
Yes. No.” She clears her throat. “So . . . uh . . . I don’t know if you know this, but my cousin was at Camp Beaver Woods when you were there.”

“
Randy mentioned something about that.”

She makes a weird sound. “Yeah. I guess he would tell you, eh? Uh . . . anyway, my cousin, Brett, couldn’t say enough nice things about you. He and Michael have stayed in touch through Facebook and stuff. What you’re doing for him is great.”

I’m still processing the apology, so this ups the shock level by a million. Publicity for the game went into full swing this morning. Tomorrow we’re filming a promo video. “It’s not a big deal.”

“
Yes, it is. You’re a really good person. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a fair shot.” Her voice drops and she mutters, “She’s gonna kill me for doing this. Sunny’s a mess over you. Like, really a mess. I’ve never seen her so, so . . . sad.” She speeds up as she talks. “And I know some of it is my fault. I kept telling her you weren’t any good for her.”

“
Maybe you’re right.” It’s something I’ve been thinking about and the reason I still haven’t called Sunny back.

“
I’m not right. I judged you before I knew you. If you still want to be with her, you should give her another chance.”

“
Yeah. I don’t know about that.”

“
You haven’t even called her back. She’s in limbo right now.”

“
Like she left me in limbo while you guys were away on your camping trip?”

“
That wasn’t intentional. She didn’t have reception. She tried to call you every day, but her phone wouldn’t work. Look, it’s obvious you care about her or you wouldn’t be putting together a fundraiser with her name on it. She’s never been like this over anyone else before. That has to mean something.”

“
It can mean something and still not work out.”

I don’t know if it’s as simple as I’d like it to be. Even if we get back together, I’m going to be gone half the year, and we don’t live in the same country. I can do all these things to reassure her we’ll be great, but eventually the distance is going to be a barrier. Unless she wants to move closer to me, this is as far as our relationship can go.

“
She’s coming to Chicago next weekend to visit Alex.”

“
Oh yeah? Thanks for letting me know.” I glance at the empty pillow beside me. For the last five years it’s been a revolving door of bunnies. Now all I can think about is how much I miss Sunny and how I’m half-glad I don’t have a memory of her in my bed to miss as well. “I appreciate you calling to smooth things over. It means a lot.”

“
I wish I’d been nicer to you sooner.”

“
Meh. You were just protecting Sunny. I get it. It makes you a good friend.”

“
I don’t think she’d agree with you right now. Anyway, I thought you should know what was what. I should let you go. Have a good night, Miller.”

“
Hey, Lily.” I catch her before she hangs up.

“
Yeah?”

“
I don’t know what’s going on with you and Randy, if anything, but he’s been laying low since we got home from Muskoka, and that’s not like him. Just figured you should know. Talk to you later.”

I let her go before she can answer or ask me more questions. I’m not one for interfering, but in this case, maybe a nudge in one direction or the other isn’t a bad thing.

***

The next morning I’m up early for my flight to Toronto. I’m actually looking forward to the publicity shit. Violet and Amber leave me a million messages apiece, clogging up my phone. It’s all coming from a good place, so it’s not as much of an irritation as it could be.

Michael’s in good form when I get to his place, where we’re doing the filming. He’s nervous, but excited. We get through the promo shoot and the interview BS with hardly any issues, apart from when they insist I wear makeup to cover the bruises from Waters. They’ve faded to a light yellow-green under my eyes and across the bridge of my nose, but that won’t be attractive on camera. It’s a pain in the ass to sit through all the powder and crap, but Michael thinks it’s hilarious, so I don’t put up much of a stink.

I’ve memorized almost everything, and the few things I haven’t I wing, which works out well according to the chick who’s directing the thing. Michael’s a natural in front of the camera, and the nerves disappear as soon as they start asking him about the camp, his outlook on treatment, and what he wants for his future.

His answer is simple and poignant; he wants to survive, so he can grow up and be like me.

He makes the interviewer cry. I may or may not have to blink a lot after that. From a promotional and media standpoint, it’s gold. If it means we can help his family stay out of financial trouble, then it’s worth it for me, too. It’s a great start to the day, but there’s a gray cloud hanging over Michael’s head, because we both know the afternoon’s chemo treatment isn’t going to be fun.

I want to be a distraction for him. I’d stay the night, but then he’d want to hang out instead of get the rest he needs. Plus I have meetings all day tomorrow and a workout I shouldn’t miss. I don’t particularly like hospitals, since most of my memories of my mom happen to be based there, but I’m willing to deal with that for Michael.

He and I play cards while he’s hooked up to all the IV garbage. We’re on our sixth game of crazy eights, which I apparently suck balls at since I’ve lost five times so far, when there’s a knock on the door to his room.

Another kid I recognize from camp peeks his head in.

“
Hey, Brett!” Michael’s eyes light up.

I can’t figure out why that name is so familiar until Lily comes in behind him, followed by Sunny.

Brett and Michael fist bump, and Michael gives Lily a huge, long hug. I don’t know much about what’s going on, but it feels like a setup.

“
Michael, this is my best friend, Sunshine.”

“
Oh, hey!” His eyes go wide, darting to me and back to her.

Sunny smiles and returns the greeting, then her gaze shifts to me, and she gives me a shy wave, which I return.

She looks tired, like she’s not been sleeping all that great, and she’s maybe a tiny bit thinner, but she’s beautiful. I definitely still have a whole shitton of feelings for her based on the way my heart is jumping around in my chest, looking for a way to get out.

Michael looks from me to her and back again. “Your name is Sunshine?”

“
Mm-hmm.” She nods, still smiling. She grips the strap of her purse, her fingers climbing higher until they reach the ends of her hair.

He tilts his head. “Is she the reason for Project Sunshine?”

“
Uh . . .” I rub the back of my neck, not expecting to be called out. “Sunny’s who it’s named after. But you’re the reason for the fundraiser.”

“
Cool.” He nods like he gets it. “You must be super important to Miller.”

There’s some awkward laughter.

Lily breaks the tension when she asks, “Michael, do you want something to drink? Maybe a ginger ale?”

“
That’d be great.”

She looks at me.

“
I’m good.”

“
Are you sure?” Her eyes dart to Sunny, then back to me.

It takes me a second to get what she’s trying to do. I slap my thighs and stand up. “Actually, I’m kinda thirsty, too. Brett, you wanna take over my hand? Michael’s kicking my ass, here—I mean, my butt.”

Brett and I switch places. “Sunshine? You wanna come?” I ask her.

“
Sure. That’d be great.” She fingers the ends of her hair, a sure sign she’s nervous.

Brett decides he might need a snack, which makes Michael think about it, and in the end we get a list of things, which Sunny promptly types into her phone. Then we go in search of a vending machine or the cafeteria. As soon as the room door closes, Sunny grabs my hand and pulls me toward the stairs. In the stairwell, she lets go and steps back until she’s leaning against the railing.

She gestures to my face. “Your nose looks good. You can’t even tell it was broken. Alex has this bump. I don’t think it’s ever gonna go away, not without surgery.”

It’s quite the ice breaker. “Uh. Yeah. It healed well.”

“
Alex had bruises for, like, forever.”

I’m glad I caused him more damage than he did me. “Michael and I had a promo shoot today so they put makeup over the bruises. But they’re almost gone.” I lean against the wall and cross my arms over my chest. “How’d you know I was gonna be here?”

She ducks her head and toes at a black spot on the tile. She’s wearing a pair of silvery fabric shoes and fitted jeans that hug every defined muscle in her long legs. Her T-shirt is pale pink, the outline of her nipples visible through her asshole sports bra—not that her nipples are my main focus. It’s all of her. I stand there absorbing her, the smell, the sight, the foreignness of the emotions I’m processing after not seeing or talking to her for two weeks. I almost miss her reply.

“
Michael told Lily’s cousin you’d be here. Lily thought I should come so I could maybe see you and apologize, but now that I’m here, I’m not sure it was such a good idea. Maybe I’m making things awkward. I should probably go—”

She moves to take a step around me, but I grab her wrist and stop her.

“
Apologize for what?”

“
For hurting you. For not trusting you and listening to Lily and Alex instead of staying strong and doing what I wanted.” Sunny’s thumb brushes along my wrist.

It’s hard to focus on her words with all the feels going on. I let go of her hand and shove mine in my pockets to stop from hugging her, and maybe rubbing up against her since that’s what my dick wants me to do. “Which is what?”

She ducks her head again, her voice dropping to a whisper. “To be with you.”

“
What about Bushman Tiny Dick?”

“
What?”

“
Kale.”

A door opens somewhere above us, the metallic clang a reminder that we don’t have much privacy. This is a much bigger conversation than a few minutes in a stairwell.

“
I don’t want to be with him.”

“
But you let him take you back to Guelph.”

“
Because Alex insisted.”

“
You were the one who said you should leave.”

The patter of feet coming down the steps halts our conversation. We move aside to let the couple pass.

Sunny waits until the sound of another steel door opening and closing confirms we’re alone again. “I didn’t want you two to fight anymore. You’re both hotheaded. I made a lot of mistakes that day.”

Another door opens and the sound of male voices filters through the stairwell.

Sunny sighs. “How long are you staying in Toronto? Can we talk after your visit with Michael?

“
I have to be back at the airport around six thirty.”

“
That early?”

“
I have meetings in the morning.” I regret already that I didn’t plan to stay the night, and that I didn’t call her before I came.

“
I could drive you to the airport,” she offers shyly.

“
That might work.”

“
Only if you want me to, though.”

“
Sure. That’d be good. Then we can talk.”

“
That’d be nice.” Sunny bites her lip and takes a step closer. “Can I hug you?”

“
I guess. If you want to.” I open my arms, and she moves into the empty space, clasping her hands behind my back and pressing her cheek against my chest.

I’m already sporting a semi—maybe a third of the way hard. She can’t feel it yet, but if we stand here long enough, she definitely will. She smells like sunshine and that mint shampoo she uses.

Another door opens somewhere below us, and we break apart. Why don’t people use the damn elevator?

“
We should go get those snacks.” I open the door and usher Sunny out ahead of me. The jeans look fantastic on her ass. I wish she wasn’t so easy to look at and I didn’t care about her so much.

We spend the next two hours hanging out in Michael’s room, talking about camp and the upcoming fundraising game. Sunny’s quieter than usual, but Lily has all sorts of questions, and she offers to help out however she can, especially since we’re holding it in Guelph, I think my Dad must have used some of Waters’ connections to make it happen. It’s nice that she and I finally seem to be okay with each other. When I tell her Randy’s going to be playing with me in the game, she gets all blushy and flustered.

Once treatment is over and Michael’s mom has taken him home, we all pile into Lily’s beat-up Honda civic.