PUCKED Up (44 page)

“
Can you take Miller and me to Alex’s condo?” Sunny asks.

“
Sure.” Lily smiles from the front seat.

“
You talk to Randy lately?” I ask as we crawl through the streets of Toronto toward the lakeshore.

Her fingers tighten on the steering wheel and a flush creeps up her neck to settle in her cheeks. “He called me a few days ago.”

“
He did!” Sunny shrieks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“
I missed the call. He left a message.”

I keep my mouth shut, but when I get back to Chicago I’m definitely going to mention something to Randy. I think he’s way more hung up on Lily than he wants to admit. I don’t want him to pull his usual crap where he gets involved and then bails. And not just because it’ll cause problems for me and Sunny—that ex of Lily’s seems to be a big douchey problem. She doesn’t need any more.

After forty-five minutes, Lily drops us at a huge condo building. It’s not the distance but the traffic that made the ride take so long. Since traffic always sucks here, we’ll have to hit the road right away. At least we can talk and drive.

First Sunny takes me up to Waters’ condo on the top floor of the building. The space is massive, boasting a sweet view of Lake Ontario. It’s not a lake anyone wants to swim in, according to Sunny. Apparently pollution means going for a dip could result in extra arms growing out of funky places. I’m not sure if she’s serious or not, but I’ll take her word for it.

She lifts a set of car keys from a hook by the door. “I wish you didn’t have to go so soon.”

“
Yeah. Me either.”

“
You could catch a later flight.” She peeks up from under blond lashes.

“
Is that what you want me to do?”

She flips the keys over in her hands. “Only if you want to.”

We’re here now. We might as well have the conversation I’ve been stupidly avoiding. I call Amber. She checks into alternate flights. There are only two options, and neither gives me a whole lot of extra time.

“
Hold on.” I cover the phone. “I can either fly out at nine thirty or ten ten.”

“
That’s the latest you can stay?” She doesn’t look happy.

“
That’s all they’ve got for tonight. I have meetings in Chicago in the morning.”

“
Can you take the ten-ten flight?”

I nod. Amber rebooks the flight and makes sure I have the correct information. The change gives me and Sunny an extra hour; I set an alarm on my phone so we’re not late getting to the airport. Sunny rummages around in the fridge for something to drink. She finds a couple bottles of beer and some Perrier. I opt for the latter so beer doesn’t interfere with our conversation.

I flop down on the black leather couch in the living room and put my feet up on Waters’ coffee table. Sunny puts down two glasses of fizzy water and sits beside me, close but not touching.

She starts before I can. “I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

“
Yeah. Me too.”

“
I should’ve had more faith in you.”

“
I can’t change the past or how often pictures are taken, Sunny. I can only take ownership of what I say and do—not the context it’s taken in, not the way the media wants to skew it. You can tell me you’re sorry and that you should have trusted me, but it doesn’t change how you handled things or give me any indication you won’t handle them the same way again.”

She tucks her feet under her and picks at a loose thread on the knee of her jeans. “So you don’t want to get back together?”

“
I didn’t say that.”

She stops fiddling to look at me. “So . . .”

“
I’ve been telling you from the beginning that I want this to work. That hasn’t changed for me. I just don’t know if it’s possible.” I run a hand through my hair, aware that I have to lay it all out. “What was I supposed to think when you opted to drive home with Bushman Tiny Dick over staying to talk things out with me? I get that my past is problematic. I understand that it’s going to take some time to get used to managing the media crap, but it’s not something you’re not already exposed to.”

“
It never had anything to do with me directly before. The rumors were always about Alex and the hooker bunnies. This is different.”

She has a point, but so do I. “Okay. I can understand how that might have been a problem in the beginning. I know I wasn’t good about the pictures and all that stuff, but that’s changed. I’m trying to be more careful and aware. I had no idea what that car wash was going to be before I got there, and then it was too late. I need to do better about that stuff, but I can’t keep having the same argument with you, over the same issue. It gets tedious. I think I’ve been pretty damn clear about where I stand, haven’t I?”

“
You have.”

“
Then why all the jumping to conclusions? I don’t get it.”

She’s back to fidgeting. “I guess I haven’t been completely up front with you.”

I don’t like the way that sounds. Not at all. Maybe she slept with Bushman Tiny Dick while we’ve been on the outs. Maybe he finally gave her an orgasm with his mini-cock and my orgasm magic isn’t magical anymore. It occurs to me I’ll see her at Vi’s wedding. I’ll have to get drunk to manage, or I’ll bring a trampy date so I don’t have to go alone. I don’t have my honey list to draw from anymore and I don’t want to create a new one.

“
Up front how?”

“
No one ever pushed me to be good at anything besides being pretty when I was growing up. All the focus was on Alex and how talented and smart he was. I refused to figure skate, which might have been part of the problem. My mom was crushed when Alex chose hockey as a career. It was crazy. She refused to see that he loved it so much more, and that doing both was making him miserable.”

“
How long did he do both?”

“
Ten years.”

Well, that definitely explains why he’s such an awesome skater. “That’s a long time.”

“
Anyway, she got over it eventually. She didn’t really have a choice. Then she started to see things differently. Alex makes a lot of money. All the good players do—you know that. After a while I think my mom decided I’d end up with one of his hockey friends. That way I’d be taken care of or whatever.”

“
What do you mean by taken care of?” I have an idea where this is going, and it’s kind of messed up.

“
Financially.”

“
Why would you need someone to do that?”

She gives me a small, patronized smile. “Because I’m not Alex-smart or talented. Living in his shadow was hard growing up. It still is sometimes. In high school I started dating Kale because he was the opposite of my brother and all his friends. The only thing he did was smoke weed and pretend to be on the debate team. He had zero ambition, and nothing has changed. I mean, the guy has half a university degree and works part time. He still lives in his parents’ basement and probably always will.”

“
But you dated him for four years.”

“
We were teenagers. He was consistent, and he liked me for me, not because my brother played professional hockey and he wanted tickets to games or introductions to players. He doesn’t even play sports, unless you count beer pong. Lily was dating Benji, and he and Kale were best friends. My parents thought Kale was harmless, and my mom figured I’d outgrow him. She was right.”

“
Daisy still seems to love on him, though.”

“
Only because I’m not with him anymore. We’d been friends for a long time. He was easy to be with. When high school ended, I figured it was a good time to move on. It was awkward at first with Lily and Benji still together, but eventually Kale started dating someone else, so it was better.” She sets her glass on the table and runs her hands down her thighs. “I shouldn’t have gone on that camping trip with him. He was on the rebound, and I knew it. But I also want you to know that decision was about more than the pictures of you and the hooker bunnies or making you jealous.”

“
What was the point, then?”

“
I love my mom. She’s a great person, and she has the best intentions, but I don’t want to become her.” Sunny sighs. “When you started calling, she was all over it working out between us, and not just because you’re a great guy, which you are. My mom likes her lifestyle. She likes not having to go to work every day and going to the spa and lunch dates with her friends. She figured I’d want the same, but I don’t.

“
So part of going on the camping trip was me trying to figure out if I could handle this with you, especially having seen how hard it’s been for Violet. I don’t want who I am to be swallowed by who I’m with.”

That makes some sense. I like that Sunny has ambition and drive. She could coast along and sponge off her brother if she wanted—he’d definitely support her—but that’s not her MO. “I would never want that.”

“
I know.” She shifts closer and crosses her legs so her knees touch the outside of my thigh. “I’m just explaining why I had such a hard time.”

“
And
you thought I was gonna fuck and chuck.”

“
I know that’s not true.”

I stretch an arm out across the back of the couch. “It took a while for you to believe me.”

“
It shouldn’t have. I should listen to my intuition over other people.”

“
Three months of daily conversation and me coming to visit, even with parent supervision, should’ve been a dead giveaway.”

“
You’d think so.” Sunny leans her head on my arm. “And then there’s the whole Project Sunshine thing.” Her nose brushes my skin, and she presses her lips to my bicep.

I wrap a tendril of her hair around my finger, avoiding eye contact. “There is that.”

“
How long have you been putting that together?”

“
A while.” I’m definitely not going to be totally honest with her. Not yet. After my first visit to Guelph, I knew I was looking at something more substantial than bunny action. By the time we got to the actual sexing stage, I was trying to figure out how to make the long-distance crap manageable and create a long-term life for us. But we’re not even officially back together, so I’ll keep that to myself until I’ve got some concrete evidence that we’re going to give this a solid shot at being something real.

“
How long’s a while?”

“
Does it matter? Will it change anything?”

Sunny uncrosses her legs and tucks them under her. “No.”

“
So why ask?”

“
I’m just curious.” She gets in close and skims my jaw with her fingertips. “You’re an incredible person.”

“
Not really.”

“
Yes, really.” Her lips hover close to mine.

I’m not sure what’s happening here. We were having a serious conversation and now all of sudden Sunny’s up in my space. At least she’s in jeans and most of her skin is covered, otherwise I’d be screwed.

“
Miller.”

“
Yeah.”

She settles her palms on either side of my neck. “I missed you.”

“
I, uh—”

Her lips touch mine. “I missed talking to you. I missed hearing your voice. I missed knowing you were thinking about me. I missed being with you.”

“
I missed all those things, too.”

Sunny slips her tongue into my mouth. I’m guessing this means we’re back together. She straddles my lap and wraps her arms around my shoulders, hands going into my hair.

“
Um, Sunny?” I say around her tongue.

“
Mmm?”

“
Aren’t we supposed to be talking?”

She leans back far enough that her eyes don’t merge into one and she stops looking like a cyclops. “I thought we were done,” she says. “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?”

“
Uh . . .”

She rocks her hips, pressing down on the erection forming inside my pants. She moves in to kiss me again.

“
What about the distance?”

She skims my cheeks with her fingertips. “We’ll manage.”

“
I’ll be traveling a lot after next month,” I say.

“
I’ll be done with all my courses at the end of December. I’ll only have my placement left. I can do that anywhere.” Her lips hover over mine. “We don’t have much time before you have to go, Miller. We can talk about that later, can’t we?”

If I’m hearing her correctly, she’s thinking long term, like me. She’s right. We have to leave for the airport soon, so we might as well take advantage of the time we have left.

Her mouth tastes like lemon from the Perrier. She grinds all over me as we kiss and grope and make up for all the time with no words and lots of uncertainty.