Pulled (31 page)

His face was so close, his forehead against mine, his shaky breath mixing with mine. His gentle hands pushed up my shirt and lifted it over my head, his eyes watching mine.

Cool air hit my bare skin and mixed with the heat radiating from Daniel. Thril ing shivers raced through my body.

His eyes swept over me. There was an audible intake of air as he gazed down at my naked flesh. “So beautiful,” he muttered, more to himself than to me, and his eyes traveled farther down. I heard a smal gasp, and his body stiffened.

My eyes roamed her body, taking in every change and remembering al that was the same. I froze, my breath gone as old sorrow took its place.
Eva.
Her face filtered through my mind, my eyes fil ing with tears when I saw the scarred flesh, tangible evidence of my baby girl. Our baby girl. I looked at Melanie. Her face fil ed with understanding, her love and pain for Eva mingled with my own. My fingers shook as I reached a tentative hand out to touch them, to run my fingers along the skin marred in perfection, the deformity a treasure. I ached to embrace my baby girl as my mouth left smal kisses along the long-healed wounds. I prayed Eva could somehow feel my love for her.

I found Melanie’s face, desperate to tel the one person I knew would understand. “I miss her.” Gentle fingers reached out to run through my hair. No words were needed as we mourned for our daughter, our heartbreak freely given to each other. And for the first time since I’d lost Eva, my thoughts of her were not completely unbearable.

I’d never stop missing my baby girl, never stop loving her, but as Melanie and I clung to each other, I knew I could final y al ow myself to heal.

The intensity of the moment was overpowering in the quiet stil ness of the room fil ed with love and need. The tension grew as our energy surged in the air. Final y, it was too much.

“Daniel, please.”

Simple words, words I was al too happy to heed.

Hooking my thumbs around the edges of her panties, I pul ed them down slowly down her legs.

“Beautiful,” tumbled from my mouth as I looked down upon her ful y unclothed and waiting for me.

I scooted off the bed, and removed my jeans and boxers in one quick movement and threw them aside.

Slowly, I crawled back between her legs. I showered her in adoration, my hands and lips and words loving her. Her body reacted under my fingers, and I knew she was just as anxious I was.

I tore my mouth from hers to see her face. Never had I felt more loved, more complete. Green eyes stared back at me, fil ed with so much emotion. Melanie’s spirit swam behind them, promising me that I was everything.

I loved her, so much. I wanted to tel her how much she meant, but nothing I said would ever be enough.

I took her hands in each of mine and pressed them into the bed at either side of her head, hugging her body close. The energy was so intense it almost burned.

“Are you ready for me?”

She nodded, her body trembling as she

anticipated me. Her eyes held mine, and I pushed into her slowly, every nerve aflame in expectation of the greatest pleasure I could know. Her body no longer just trembled, but ful y shook beneath me. She felt so good, so perfect, so right, and oh—I had waited for this for nine years, and I was going to lose it in less than five seconds.

I stil ed, holding myself back as she rode it out. I feasted on the sight in front me. Melanie’s skin was flushed and radiant and glowing. Her face told of ecstasy and life; a spirit roused, two souls rejoined, marking it the most significant moment in my life as she became one with me.

Sweat shone across her forehead, her mouth twisting with a hint of satisfaction. I nearly cried when she began to move beneath me.

“Wait...don’t move.” I just needed a minute—or five. “You feel too good,” I whispered against her ear.

I fought to regain my control, focusing on the beat of her heart and the warmth in her eyes. I caressed her face and kissed her mouth. Intuition took over, and I began to move with her.

The memories I had of making love with Melanie couldn’t compare to the real thing. This physical gratification was greater than any other. Ever. Nothing could possibly feel better. But it went so far beyond that, this connection we shared. I almost wept as she clung to me, digging her fingernails into my skin as we shared the most intimate of embraces. I was fil ed with awe with being able hold this precious woman again, the one who had invaded every thought of mine for more than eleven years.

Eleven years.

Fear gripped me as I thought of ever being

without her again. “Promise me,” I grunted in desperation as I moved against her. “Promise you’l never leave me.” Sweet, soft hands stroked away my worry, and Melanie uttered the only word I would ever accept. “Never.”

“I’l never let you go again, Melanie. Never.

Nothing wil come between us...nothing.” I would destroy anything, anyone who tried to take her from me. Being away from her was no longer an option. She was mine, only mine.

“Never,” she promised again, unwavering,

unshakable.

I final y gave myself over to her, my body rushed against hers. I was lost in soft murmurs of love, our heat building and breaking. Waves of release rol ed from Melanie’s flushed body, beckoning, coaxing me. Words of love and need and devotion came indistinct as I cried out in pleasure, a pleasure that had no comparison. It was a pleasure that went deeper than physical. It was a pleasure attained by a heart made whole. It was a pleasure found only in my beautiful, perfect girl.

Heaven.

There was no other way to describe it. Melanie was wrapped in my arms, her head on my shoulder as she ran soft fingers over my chest.

My hand trailed up and down the soft, creamy skin of her shoulder and arm, the other wrapped around her back holding her close.

We’d lain silently together for more than an hour, basking in each other’s touch. We had so much to talk about, but we couldn’t seem to let go of this quiet moment.

I stil couldn’t believe I was lying next to her—next to my life. Long ago, I’d accepted I would never truly live again, that I would merely exist. Then when she’d reached for me, I’d been reborn. I glanced down to find her eyes.

The pain, so evident this morning, had been wiped away.

Her mouth spread into a radiant smile. She looked so happy. I beamed down at her. Melanie’s cheeks immediately reddened, and she buried her head in the crook of my arm, mumbling into the skin, “You have no idea how much I missed your smile.” She propped herself on her elbow to look at me, running her fingers over my bare chest.

I quirked an eyebrow, teasing. “That’s what you missed?”

She released a smal giggle before turning serious, her voice low and laced with sadness. “I missed you, Daniel. Everything about you, including that smile.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“I think I do.” She shifted, pul ing herself up to recline on a pil ow against the headboard and tucking the sheet under her arm as she turned to face me. I mirrored her, trying to relax through the sudden unease that fil ed the room. It was apparent our quiet time had come to an end.

We had to discuss issues I’d rather have locked in a closet and never thought of again.

She took my hand, holding it between us. “How did this happen to us?”

I shook my head, exasperated by the fact that we would probably spend forever asking the same question and never find an answer. “I have no clue, Melanie.” I pul ed her closer, hating the distance. “How could you believe I would choose Stephanie over you or anyone, for that matter? Had I ever shown anything less than commitment to you?”

She grimaced, her body stiffening. “I was
eighteen
and heartbroken, Daniel. I didn’t know to deal with everything that had happened. In one moment, it seemed like I’d lost everything—Eva, my ability to have children. I was depressed and insecure. In that frame of mind it was easy to believe you’d been stolen from me, too.” She sighed and closed her eyes, before opening them to me, contrite and guilt-ridden. “I never should have doubted your devotion to me. Deep inside, I always knew you wanted me, but those thoughts just kept creeping up on me. I felt I wasn’t good enough for you anymore and that you deserved more.”

I closed my eyes, realizing everything she’d sacrificed because she thought it was what I wanted. I hooked my index finger under her chin, pul ing her beautiful distraught face back to mine. “Melanie, there’s no such thing as family without you.”

I wiped her tears as they flowed down her face.

Her head shook against my palm, her hair hanging over her shoulder and brushing across the sheet.

“You said you kept having those thoughts. When?

What made you think that?”

Her voice was smal , hesitant, but necessary if we were going to deal with it and put it behind us. “When you told me in the hospital that I couldn’t have more children, it was the first thing I thought.”

I sat astounded; mortified that as this broken girl lay in the hospital, she had been concerned about me. “And then, when you never cal ed,” her voice started to shake as she fought through the words, “I began to worry it might be the way you real y felt.”

I clutched her to me, whispering reassurances as I ran my fingers through her hair. “Baby, I wanted to cal you every day, every second. You were al I ever thought of. I should have, I know. I was so stupid, but you told me not to and...,” I said, my voice trailing off. If I had dialed once in the thousand times I’d picked up the phone, none of this would have ever happened.

“And what, Daniel?” she pressed, not letting it go.

“And I blamed myself,” I admitted in defeat, knowing my guilt was probably the biggest factor in al of this. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to calm myself. “When you went back to Dal as, it ripped my heart out. I was devastated. I was convinced it was because you thought it was my fault and needed to get away from me. When you didn’t cal me in al that time, some part of me started to believe you couldn’t forgive me.” She scrunched her brow, shaking her head.

I looked at her, incredulous. “What did you expect me to believe, Melanie? One minute you’re moving in with my parents, and the next you’re
leaving
me, tel ing me not to contact you. I just assumed you’d final y realized the truth, that it was al my fault.”

Her soft hands firmly cupped my face. “Daniel, never, not for one day, did I ever blame you.”

“I know, Melanie. I’m just trying to make you understand what I felt then. Honestly, it’s what I felt up until three weeks ago when Erin final y told me your parents forced you to leave.”

Melanie grimaced. “She told you?”

I nodded as I ran my fingertips over cheek. “You should have told me.”

“I was just trying to protect you,” she whispered urgently.

“I know, but it was wrong to hide it from me.”

“I’m so sorry, Daniel. I needed you so badly.” She began to quietly sob, her arms tightening around my neck. I shushed her, whispering how badly I had needed her too, that I wasn’t angry, that neither of us was to blame. Maybe we’d both been too young and naive to handle the circumstances we’d found ourselves in. I breathed her in, thankful that in spite of the disaster we’d created, she was here in my arms.

She took a deep breath, her tears slowing. “I wish you’d known that you’d always been in my thoughts. Every night I’d pray that you could hear me.”

How had we spent these years apart feeling exactly the same? How had one of us not broken down and sought the other out?

“I do know. You invaded...everything. I was nothing without you. I managed to finish school and my residency, but I only did it for my parents and to have some kind of distraction from the pain. I wanted you every day. I stayed away thinking you had found some kind of happiness in your new life.” I grimaced, once again horrified by what my assumptions had caused.

A sound that would be impossible to recreate came from deep within Melanie’s throat, something akin to gagging just before vomiting. “I was anything but happy. I could never have been without you, but I stil managed to end up in the most miserable place I could have possibly gone.” Eventual y, I’d have to ask her how she gotten involved with an asshole like Nicholas. I didn’t think I could stomach it at this point. We’d dealt with enough today without evoking the jealously that conversation was sure to bring. The thought of anyone else touching my girl had me nearly homicidal. Right now, I just wanted to let her know I’d never al ow her to experience that kind of pain again.