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I stil couldn’t believe melanie was here.

It was al I could do to keep myself from jumping over the table to get to her, to fal to my knees, to plead for forgiveness, to beg her to take me back.

I’d barely heard the proposal for the new building.

Everything around me was a haze except for her; she was the light and al else was dark.

In her brief touch I’d found everything I’d missed for the last nine years, and I knew then what my heart had known the whole time—she was mine. I could feel it, her love burning in her skin, scorching me, devouring me, searching al of me to claim me as her own.

Even with her husband sitting between us, I knew she was mine. The fact that she’d married someone else had nearly kil ed me, but in al of that, I had just wanted her to be happy. But after meeting Nicholas, I couldn’t understand why she’d picked him. I’d never hated anyone more in my life, repel ed by his arrogance and conceit.

Worst was the way he spoke and looked down at her. It was as if he held an aura of authority over her, no compassion just control. Nobody treated my Melanie that way. How could she let him?

Did she love him?

No.

I didn’t believe that. I could see how miserable she was just by looking at her. Her face had the same expression that mine held every day. She was as broken as I was. Then why? Did she hate me so much she would rather lie next to this repulsive man than be with me?

I’d struggled to pay attention to Shane as he went over their proposal, thankful when dinner was final y served.

That relief only lasted a minute before his wife started asking questions.

I’d felt Melanie’s heartbreak the moment Vanessa uttered those words.

Daniel and I are having a baby.

Melanie had tried unsuccessful y to stifle her cries.

My eyes darted to her, dreading to see the pain I knew I would find.

Please, Melanie, you have to know I only wanted
this with you.

I couldn’t say the words out loud, but I prayed she would understand, that she could see it in my eyes.

It was Katie’s next question that had struck me with horror.

So, this is your first child?

Vanessa had answered as if for us both, but there was no way I’d sit across from Melanie and not acknowledge our precious girl

I turned to Katie, my mouth dry, and choked out, “I had a baby girl.” Swal owing, I cleared my throat, trying to gain enough courage to verbalize it in front of these strangers. I’d never told anyone about Eva. It was my loss, and I couldn’t bear to have a stranger pity me when it was impossible for them to even begin to understand the way her death had destroyed me. “But she passed away.”
March 2000

What the hell was happening?

My eyes were open, but everything was a blur.

Voices murmured too low for me to hear or the pain
drowned them out. I wasn’t sure which. I hurt everywhere,
and I felt like I was suffocating. My eyes began to clear,
registering my surroundings, focusing on the two people
working over me—No!

“Melanie!” I struggled to sit up, but I was strapped
onto a stretcher. “Please, I have to get to her. Please!” My
voice cracked with the sob that erupted from my chest as I
begged them to free me. I had to find her.

“Sir, you need to calm down. We’re trying to help
you.” A man held my face, forcing me to look at him. I
shook my head against his hands.

“I have to help her. Where is she? Please,” I
pleaded. My eyes darted around. I was in a moving
ambulance. I looked at my shirt soaked with blood and
fear gripped me. I tried to scream for her but no sound
came.

“Sir, you need to relax. She’s already on her way

to the hospital in Denver.”

I felt a jab in my arm and warmth spread through
my veins, but it wasn’t the warmth I desired. A fog trapped
me in my mind, my heart screaming, but the rest of my
body went numb as darkness raced in.

“Daniel.” The voice was soft and drew me to it.

“My baby.” Something ran through my hair, caressing me,
giving me strength.

“Mom?” I blinked.

She leaned over me, one hand holding mine
while the other stroked my head. Her eyes filled with tears.

I tried to sit up, but the pain tearing through my
chest forced me back down.

“Just relax, sweetheart.” She tried to soothe me
but her voice was trembling, and it had the opposite effect.

“Melanie?” I rasped. I heard movement and
turned. Dad stood next to the bed on the other side. He
cleared his throat, his face tormented. Dad’s mouth
opened and closed several times. A sense of foreboding
came over me, and I steeled myself. Mom squeezed my
hand. I returned the squeeze, probably a little too hard as I
waited for Dad to respond.

“She’s going to be okay, Daniel.” He reached out
and touched my shoulder, looking me in the eyes.

Relief flooded me, and I breathed in a painful
breath, tears breaking free and running down my face.

“She’s still in surgery right now, and she’s doing
well.”

I choked, the relief I felt moments before was
gone. “Surgery?”

“She had some internal bleeding, but they have
it under control.” He tried to reassure me, but I knew it had
to be bad.

I felt my heart breaking, not even wanting to ask
the next question. “The baby?” They were less than words
and more like a strangled sound in the back of my throat,
sticking to my tongue as they tried to pass.

Dad grimaced, his own tears beginning to fall.

“It’s not good, Daniel.” He shook his head, trying to get
himself together to play the doctor. I could tell it hurt him
as deeply as it did me. “They took her by C-section, and
she’s on a ventilator.” He paused, looking away from me.

“It’s very early, son.”

Please, God, no. My body started to shake.

Overwhelming sorrow crushed me.

“It’s my fault,” I cried when I realized what I’d done.

“Oh, my God, Melanie, I’m so sorry.”

“Sh, sh. Daniel, no, honey. It’s not your fault.”
Mom tried to convince me, but I knew the truth.

“No, I wasn’t paying enough attention. I didn’t see
them. It was too late!” I was panicked as the words and
tears kept coming.

“No, Daniel, the driver crossed into your lane. It
was not your fault!” Mom nearly yelled, swearing I couldn’t
have done anything different and digging her fingers into
my hand. But I wouldn’t lie to myself. Even Melanie saw
that car before I did.

“Daniel, you’ve got to get yourself together.

Melanie is going to need you.” Dad’s voice was full of
reason, and I fought to get myself under control. I had to
be strong for my girls.

“Can I see them?” The need to see and touch
Melanie was overwhelming. I had to feel her heart beat
beneath my hands, to see for myself that she was okay.

Eva.

The thought of my baby girl nearly made me
crumble.

“Soon, son. I have to warn you, Melanie’s going
to be on a ventilator for a few days until the swelling goes
down around her brain. She’s not going to look very good,
and I need you to be prepared for that. She also has other
injuries...,” he said, his voice trailing off.

“Dad, please?” He couldn’t hide these things
from me, “They’re my family. You have to be honest with
me.”

He sighed. “I know, Daniel, it’s just a lot for you to
take in all at once, and you have to take care of yourself,
too. You have three cracked ribs and a pretty bad cut
above your eye.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m fine.”

He pulled up a chair next to me, and I braced
myself. “Okay,” he relented, but I could see how hard it
was on him. He ran the palm of his hand back and forth
over his mouth, tension rolling from him.

My heart fell as he described Melanie’s injuries.

She would be devastated. But we could get through that. I
just had to be thankful she was going to be okay. I had to
look within myself to find the courage to ask the next
question. But I was Eva’s father, I had to do everything I
could to help her.

My voice shook as I asked, “And the baby?”
Tears flowed down his face. He didn’t even try to
wipe them away. His words were barely audible, and I
strained to hear. “She’s in bad shape, Daniel. She only
weighs a little over a pound and a half. She can’t breathe
on her own, and all we can do is wait.”
It just didn’t seem real. But I knew what would
make it real.

“I need to see her.” I sat up, struggling to right
myself against the physical pain trying to hold me down.

“Please, Dad, take me to her. I have to see her.”

“I’ll call down there and see. Your doctor was
already having your paperwork drawn up to have you
discharged.”

It seemed like the next hour dragged on forever
as I waited to be released. We received word that Melanie
was out of surgery and in recovery, and they’d let us see
her in about three hours. I could see the baby anytime. I
almost got up and left, but Dad wanted to make sure I was
cleared before I started walking around. Honestly, I didn’t
care about that. I just needed to take care of my girls.

“Daniel, sweetie,” Mom cooed to me as if I were
five again, but I didn’t mind. I knew she needed to take
care of me as much as I felt the need to take care of my
own child. “It’s going to be okay.” Worry lines were set
deep into on her face. I couldn’t imagine the fear my
parents must have felt when they got the call.

“Thanks, Mom.” I sighed into her palm against
my cheek, welcoming her comfort.

“Mom, does Steve know?” I couldn’t even
imagine how angry Steve was going to be. He didn’t even
know Melanie was pregnant, and now he was a
grandfather.

“Your dad just called a few minutes ago after
Melanie got out of surgery. But, Daniel, he doesn’t know
about the baby. We thought it would be best if you told
him face-to-face.” I was certain that would be the most
difficult conversation I’d ever had.

The door opened, and Dad poked his head
through. “You ready, son?” I was cautious as I stood, the
ache searing through my chest.

I nodded pensively, both eager and terrified to
meet my daughter.

Mom had her arm around my waist as we
followed Dad to the elevator. It wasn’t enough to keep my
anxiety from boiling over. It was hard to breathe as the
door opened to the floor below, leading us to the neonatal
intensive care unit. I reached out to the wall for support as
the window came into view, the one displaying the perfect,
healthy babies. Families stood with smiles on their faces,
excited for their first glimpse.

Dad wrapped his hand around my upper arm to
give me support as he led me forward. “Daniel, do you
need a few minutes?”

I shook my head. I needed to see her now, no
matter how scared I was.

We walked farther down the hall to a window with
a woman behind a counter. In a very low voice, Dad said,