Pulled (15 page)

“Baby Montgomery.”

“ID’s please.” She started to give the rules, but
Dad cut in. “I’m a consulting physician on the case.” He
took out his ID, and the woman verified it.

Even though infants were not his specialty, I took
comfort in knowing my father would watch over her care.

Once the nurse buzzed us through double doors,
we scrubbed our hands at a sink. I washed beside Dad,
my gut twisted in knots, unable to grasp what I was
preparing to face.

We finally entered through a second pair of
double doors, the light dim and the room quiet. It was as if
I had entered another world. Little incubators sat between
curtained walls, nurses quickly and silently moving
around the room. Couples sat in rocking chairs next to
some of the incubators, a few of them with babies in their
arms.

Fear traveled up my spine, settling in my neck
as it all became real. A lump formed in my throat. I
followed Dad across the room.

My knees became weak when I first saw her. Dad
reached out to steady me. Placing all my weight upon
him, I tried to rid myself of the apprehension I felt so I
could focus on my daughter.

There were wires everywhere; in her legs, in her
arms, running through her nose and mouth. I couldn’t hold
back the sob as I saw just how small she really was. Her
legs and arms were not much thicker than one of my
fingers, and her whole body was not much longer than my
hand. Her skin was almost transparent, as if I could see
every vein in her body. Her eyes were closed, and her
little chest rose and fell with the machine that kept her
alive.

It was simultaneously the most horrifying and
beautiful thing I had ever seen.

She was so broken and yet so perfect.

My daughter.

My heart swelled with love for her and broke all at
the same time. “Eva,” I whispered to her, hoping she could
hear me.

“What did you say?” Mom’s soft voice came to
me, a small smile on her face, her cheeks wet with her
own tears.

“Her name is Eva. We decided last night.” How
long ago that perfect moment seemed now.

“It’s beautiful.” She reached a tender hand out to
me, once again, giving me comfort.

“Can I hold her?”

Could I? I was terrified, but I’d never wanted
anything more.

“Let me check, okay?” I watched as Dad walked
to one of the nurses. She followed him back, pointing to
the single chair that was in the enclosure.

“If you’ll sit there, I’ll bring her to you.”
She shuffled wires around, obviously adept at
her job, and wrapped a blanket around Eva while lifting
her. Carefully, she transferred my daughter to my arms. I
cautiously held my little girl, her chest resting against
mine.

Precious.

I closed my eyes against the fear and the pain,
and just loved her.

It was the only thing I could give her.

I breathed her in, remembering her scent. She
smelled almost sweet like her mom, but something
altogether her own. I smiled against her head and cradled
her to me, rocking her, murmuring my adoration to her.

“Please, baby girl, you have to be strong.”
In silence, my parents stood by my side, each
with a hand on one of my shoulders, their support
complete and unending.

I flinched with the flash of light as mom snapped
a picture of us. “Sorry,” she mumbled. I shook my head. I
didn’t mind.

I’d only held her for minutes when the nurse said
it was time to return her to her incubator. I watched as the
nurse settled her back and checked her monitors. As
much as I hated the thought of leaving her, it was time to
go to Melanie.

I reached in to touch her little hand, and Eva
wrapped it around my finger. I smiled as I felt her against
me. I whispered, “I love you,” as I caressed the back of her
hand. Longing filled my chest when I turned to walk away.

The second we were in the hall, Mom pulled me
into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Daniel. You’ve grown into
the man I’ve always prayed you’d become.” Her eyes,
swollen and red, shimmered in the light as she looked at
me.

I hugged her back. “Thank you, Mom.” My voice
was strained with the fatigue setting in, my chest
absolutely killing me.

Dad joined in our embrace, his arms drawing us
all close as the three of us grieved together. He pulled
back first. “I think Melanie should be in her room by now.”
He took Mom’s hand, and she kept her other arm
secured around my waist, and the three of us made the
trek to Melanie’s room.

Dad started to push the latch on the door before I
stopped him, grasping his shoulder. “Can I go in alone?” I
just needed to be with her by myself for a while. He
nodded and opened the door for me, standing aside as I
walked past.

The room was quiet and dark when I entered, all
air escaping me in an audible gush when I saw her lying
in that bed.

“Melanie.”

She was white against the already white sheets,
except for the huge purple bruises beneath her eyes. An
IV bag hung near her head, the tube trailing down and
attached to her wrist. Her mouth was slack and covered
with tape that held the tube in her throat, her chest rising
and falling at a constant rate. The heart monitor with its
rhythmic beeping and the soft, steady sound of the
ventilator were the only background noises. A blanket was
pulled up over her chest and tucked under her arms, her
body a silhouette beneath it.

Everything else was completely still except for
the energy flowing between us, and it reassured me that
she was really going to be okay. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I had just needed to see for myself. I stood beside her,
taking her hand and stroking it. Her fingers twitched, and I
knew she was aware I was there.

“Hey, Mel.” I placed a soft kiss on her temple and
ran my fingers over her cheek, whispering into her ear.

“My love. You’re going to be okay.” I settled into the chair
next to her, her hand still in mine.

“We have a baby girl.” I smiled at the image of
Eva in my head. “You have to get better quickly so you
can meet her.” How much I wanted Melanie to see and
hold her, but all I could do was tell her about her. “She’s
amazing, Melanie. So beautiful, just like you.” I choked on
the emotions, knowing Melanie would understand them
better in my touch than with any words I could say.

I sat by Melanie’s side for hours before Mom and
Dad finally insisted I get something to eat.

“I’ll be right back, baby.” I glanced at her one
more time as I stepped outside the room, praying she
would be fine until I returned.

I turned and came face-to-face with Steve. His
face was red and contorted, chest heaving with rage
directed at me.

“You fucking coward!” I barely saw Steve’s arm
cock back before a stinging pain tore through my head as
his fist connected with my face. The force knocked me to
the ground. My hand went to my eyebrow, fingering the
wound where the stitches had been ripped open.

“Are you insane? Don’t you dare come in here
and make this any worse than it already is,” Dad hissed at
Steve. I looked up at Melanie’s father. His face full of
bloodlust just moments before now looked at me in horror.

“No, Dad. He’s right,” I sputtered as blood flowed
down my face and over my lips. It was obvious he knew
about Eva.

“Steve, I’m so sorry.” I could feel myself sway to
the left as I tried to get to my knees, my body ready to
collapse at any moment. “We never should have kept this
from you. Please understand. We were on our way to tell
you.” I shuddered as memories of the accident flashed in
my mind.

The remorse was gone as he seethed and
leaned toward me, his hands resting on his thighs, his
face close enough that I could smell the beer on his
breath.

“You expect me to believe you, Daniel, when I
get a phone call two hours ago that my baby girl,” he
ground out, gesturing to himself with his thumbs and
exaggerating the words, “was in a car accident on the way
back from Boulder when she was supposed to be staying
the weekend with a friend?” His breathing was heavy, and I
could actually hear his teeth grinding together. “Then I
show up here and ask for her room number, and they want
to know if I also want the room number for her baby. Do
you have any idea how that feels?”

I jumped as he abruptly stood and swung
around, smashing his fist against the wall, crying out in
both pain and fury.

“Steve, you have to calm down. I know you’re
angry, but this isn’t the time or the place for this.” Dad tried
to temper the situation, but Steve’s rage only grew.

“You!” Steve shouted as he pointed a shaky
finger at Dad. “You knew the whole time, didn’t you? Every
time you passed me on the street, you fucking knew, didn’t
you?” Dad’s silence served as confirmation. Steve rubbed
his hands over his face, his eyes wild. “Were you taking
care of her?”

Dad’s patience finally hit its end, his cheeks red
and his voice low, but sharp and stinging. “Of course I was
taking care of her! Would you expect me to do anything
different? She came to me!” He jabbed himself in the
chest with his forefinger. “Maybe she would have come to
you if you paid her a little attention instead of spending
every free second drowning in your own self-pity. Did you
really not see it, Steve? That girl,” Dad said, pointing at
her door, “has been showing for two months! And what did
you do? You turned your head the other way.”
We’d attracted a crowd. Steve stepped back,
raising his hands in surrender as the security guard
approached him.

“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

“No, please. Let him stay. Steve, you need to go
to her,” I said. Steve seemed unwilling to look at me while
he waited for consent from the security guard. The guard
gave Steve what he said would be his first and only
warning.

Dad helped me to my feet, and we left Steve to
stand in the hall in front of his daughter’s door.

“Come on, Daniel, we need to fix your eye.” Dad
fixed me back up while Mom went downstairs and bought
us dinner from the cafeteria. We ate in silence,
exchanging nothing more than the occasional
apprehensive glance. It was so hard to just sit and wait,
each of us subject to the hands of fate.

“I’m going to go back upstairs.” I finished my
food, tasting none of it, anxious to get back to Melanie.

“Dad, could you check on Eva?” I felt an impossible pull
between my two girls, wanting to be with both of them at
the same time.

When I returned to Melanie’s room, I found Steve
sitting next to her bed with unshed tears in his eyes. He
didn’t acknowledge me as I came in, but I didn’t feel
threatened by him, either. We both sat in silence, neither
of us regarding the other, each of us just there for her.

I turned when I heard subdued footsteps. Dad
came up behind me and placed both hands on my
shoulders.

His voice was muted. “I just left Eva. Nothing has
changed since this afternoon.”

I nodded, both thankful and discouraged at the