Pulse (7 page)

"Did you fall asleep again?" I spit the words out him as I pace the floor in the lobby of the hotel.

"What?" He raises both his hands in the air.

"You had to have been asleep the last time we talked because you agreed to not interfere if you saw me with another man." I run my hand across my forehead in pure and utter exasperation.

"That didn't include you looking for a new fuck buddy right in front of me." His tone was hard and unyielding.

"You were doing the very same thing." I motion towards the entrance of the club. "When I got here, you were all over some brunette."

"I work with her, Jessica." He shakes his head slightly. "I was passing through the club on my way upstairs when I saw her."

"It's not Wednesday," I glance at the clock on the wall. "It's eleven o'clock which means it's fuck time. Why aren't you naked and in bed with someone else?"

"I was going up to get something before I went home."

I pause at the mention of his home. It always seems to escape me that he doesn't live here. He just stays here to fuck women. I wonder what his home looks like. I wonder what his last name is.

"I was just giving him my number." I know I sound bitchy, but I don't care.

"So he could call you?"

"Yes, Nathan," I seethe. "Normal people exchange phone numbers and then they communicate with one another."

"You're mad that I never asked for your number?"

"No." I turn to walk back towards the club's entrance. "I'm mad at myself for ever thinking I could do this."

"You can do this." He pulls on my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. "I can do this."

I don't turn. I can't. I don't want to look at him when he tells me that it will work and that we just need to go up to his room to talk it out. If we do that, I'll be on my knees with his cock in my mouth within twenty minutes. I have no barrier of resistance when it comes to him. His body is irresistible to me and the only way to stop wanting it is to walk away.

"I can't fuck you anymore," I whisper the words. "I just can't."

He pulls me back around so I'm facing him. "You don't mean that."

"It's just sex." I exhale sharply. "We had sex for a few weeks and now it's done."

His jaw tightens. "You can't end this. I shouldn't have acted like that with the other guy in the club."

I wince at his words. He truly thinks it's all just about how he reacts to other men. He doesn't understand that I'm becoming attached to him. That I want him in ways he'll never want me.

"It's not about the other guy." I feel spent. "We can't keep talking about this."

"What's it about then?" He pulls his hand through his hair and I realize he's feeling just as anxious as me.

"You can have any woman you want, any night of the week." I motion towards the club, its pulsing music drifting into the hotel lobby. "All you have to do is leave your suite, come down here, buy a beautiful woman a drink and you're in bed with her an hour later."

I know I sound defeated but I don't care. "I came here that first night looking for exactly that. I just wanted a man for one night. Something anonymous and intense. I wanted what you gave me."

"I wanted that too," he offers meekly.

"Something changed between then and now." I feel my heart pound as the words leave me. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Try." He shifts nervously from one foot to the other. A group of women walk past us and his gaze is locked on me. He doesn't pull his eyes away from my face.

"I've never met anyone like you." I laugh at the broad scope of that understatement. "Before you, I hadn't ever been with a man who could make me feel so many things."

The edge of his mouth curls in a small smile and I curse inwardly. I don't want him to take pleasure in this. I don't want him to see our experiences together as some sort of accomplishment.

"I don't know anything about you. I don't know how old you are or your last name. I think you're a lawyer because you're wound up so tight," I pause to smile at him. "I have no idea where you live or what you like to eat for dinner or what makes you happy beyond coming in a woman's mouth. I know nothing."

He stares at me, not making any effort to respond.

"I moved here from a very small place in Connecticut. I loved the same boy for a long time and one day I woke up and realized that I needed more. I wanted more so I came here." I point at the floor as if my journey from home has brought me right to this spot in the universe. In many ways it had. "I can't keep riding that elevator every Wednesday night at ten o'clock to the eighteenth floor to get into bed with you."

"Jessica," he whispers my name and then silence fills the space between us.

"You get angry if you think I'm going to be with another man, yet you can't even share the simplest details of your life with me." I press my hand to my chest to quiet my pounding heart. "I need to move on."

"It's Moore." He approaches me.

"What's Moore?" I cock a brow in response.

"My last name." He crosses his arms over his chest. "My name is Nathan Moore."

"My name is Jessica Roth," I offer back.

"Jessica Roth," he repeats it. "I knew it was going to be something beautiful.

"It's just a name."

"How old are you?" He almost visibly squirms as he asks the question.

"I'm twenty-three." I don't hesitate. "You?"

"Thirty," he smirks. "Older, wiser."

"Not wiser." I shake my head slightly. "It's lovely to meet you, Nathan Moore."

"The pleasure is all mine, Jessica Roth."

"So now what?" Rebecca pushes a piece of the frittata I made for breakfast onto a plate. "Are you two dating?"

"We're not doing anything, right now." I take a small bite of wheat toast.

"What? I thought he had an epiphany in the hotel lobby and you two were going to go steady." She throws me an exaggerated wink.

"I'm going to see him tonight to talk." I shrug my shoulders. Learning Nathan's name didn't offer much to me except for some extra information I garnered from Google after searching for him. He's a securities attorney, originally from Boston. There weren't even any images of him I could fawn over. The man still remained a tight-lipped mystery.

"You want something more than what you have with him, don't you?" The question pulls me back from my thoughts about everything Nathan hasn't shared with me.

"I want to weigh all my options," I skirt the real answer. After hearing his name and seeing a flash of vulnerability in his eyes, I wanted everything. I wanted to be the only woman in his life.

"I'm going to throw a little welcome to the city bash for Bryce next week, on Thursday. You up for that?" She points to the expansive living room of our apartment. "We could host here and you could cook."

"I can't on Thursday. I've got to cook dinner for Cassandra and some of her friends. Some surprise birthday thing."

"That sucks." She takes a hearty bite of food.

"Move the party to Friday and me and my culinary skills are all yours."

She only nods in response as she finishes her breakfast.

***

"We're going to talk after." His hand cups my ass through the thin fabric of my panties. "I have to fuck you, Jessica."

"You're insatiable." I haven't been in the room for more than three minutes and I can already feel his erection straining against the fabric of his pants.

"I wanted to talk." My protest is marred by the moan that escapes me as his fingers slide over my cleft. I'm wet. He can feel it. He's known it since I walked through the door.

"I haven't fucked anyone since you were here." It's abrasive and bold, but coming from him it's a tender confession.

"Have you thought about me?" I tease. I want this too. More than I can admit. I ache for his touch. I long to feel his cock inside of me, pushing me to the edge. I have to come. I need to.

He glides his lips across mine and I melt at the taste of his breath. He's so greedy. His tongue pushes between my lips as his finger traces a path over my moist fold. He's going to bring me to the edge with his fingers again, just like that first night.

"Nathan," I whimper. I know the impact on him when he hears me say his name.

"Yes," he growls into my mouth as he pulls back.

I glance down. He's pulling a condom from the pocket of his pants.

"You were ready." I reach down to unzip his pants.

"I knew I'd have to be inside you the minute you got here." He pulls out his cock and it falls, full and heavy into my hand.

I groan at the feeling of it. I want to taste it. I want to bring him that kind of pleasure again.

He deftly pulls the condom over the thick vein before he rips my panties to the side. "I'm going to fuck you. So hard. I want you to scream my name."

I suck in a deep breath as he glides the head over my clit. My hips buck against the wall, seeking more contact. Even if I wanted to pull back, I can't. His body is like a magnet to me. I can't resist him. I don't know how to.

He stifles a scream from my mouth with his own as he pushes himself completely into me. Hitching my right leg up, he moves swiftly to find his rhythm. I hold tight to his face, pulling his mouth into mine as he thrusts faster and harder. My head bangs against the inside of the door. We're both fully clothed but beneath his touch, with him inside of me I feel so open and bare.

His right hand moves to cup my ass, tilting my body slightly so the head of his cock hits that tender spot inside of me. I moan loudly at the sensation. I'm so close already. He can bring my pleasure to the surface so fast. It's confusing, and intoxicating all at the same time.

"Nathan," I whimper as I get close to the edge.

"Fuck, you're so sweet." He pounds harder, his hand cupping my ass tighter. "You have the perfect little body. Always so ready for me. Always so eager."

His words push me closer. "Please."

"Christ," he ups the tempo and my head slams repeatedly into the door.  I can't register anything other than complete and total pleasure.

"Fuck." The word comes from a place deep within me. I can't control it. I can't control the orgasm that rushes through me. I cry out as he pumps harder, emptying himself as my name slides slowly over his lips.

"I wanted to do that after we talked." I adjust the hem of the dress I'm wearing, hoping it will cover me now that I've lost my panties for the night.

"We're going to do that again after we talk," he says it so flippantly and with such a broad grin on his face that I almost melt at the notion.

"What are we now?" The question is awkward and misplaced.

"More than we were before?" It's not an answer and it does little to help me wade through all the cluttered emotions I'm feeling.

"What does that mean?" I don't want to sound needy or wanting but I also don't want to go back to taking an elevator up to his suite once a week and knocking on the door.

"It means that next Saturday night we're having dinner at Axel NY." He grins.

"No." I almost bounce into his lap. "How did you manage that?"

"My friend, Ivy. You remember the blonde from the restaurant." He cocks a brow waiting for me to respond.

I nod feverishly.

"Her boyfriend is related to the owner so she got us a table." He slaps his hands together. "I know you wanted to go there."

"How?" I search his face.

"The guy." He rolls his eyes. "You know that guy you were dancing with. I heard you talking to him."

I push back to that conversation. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough to know that you're a chef," he says smoothly.

I blush at the words. "Not a chef yet but I'll get there."

"You're going to accomplish anything you want." He taps me on the tip of my nose. "I can tell."

"What about this?" I motion to the air between us.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you don't do relationships." I pull a thin smile across my lips.

He sets his hand on top of mine. "I'm not good at them."

"No one really is," I say teasingly.

"I'll promise you this." He pulls my hand into his and traces a path along my palm with his index finger. "I'll try to be more open with you. I'll share more when I feel comfortable and you can do the same."

I nod and try to force a smile. I want to share everything now. I'd be willing to but I can tell he's not ready yet.

"I would like one thing." He pulls his phone from the pocket of his pants. "I'd like your number."

I feel a rush of happiness run through me. "You don't ask for numbers often, do you?"

"It's a big step." He laughs. "So are you going to give it to me or not?"

I recite my number for him as I watch him enter it into his phone.

"Did that guy call you?" He reaches to place his phone on the table. "The chef guy. Did he call?"

"No." I shake my head. "He won't."

"He will." He pulls me closer to him. "He wanted you. I could see it on his face."

"That was fear when you stood next to us glaring at him." I snuggle into his chest.

He reaches for my hips to pull me into his lap so I'm facing him. "When a man wants a woman it's there, in his eyes. The want and then need is there. I saw it on his face."

I pull my hips closer to him, my wetness sliding over his pants. "Is it on your face?"

"Every time I see you." He moans as he reaches to grab my thighs.

"The first night you saw me it was there." I push back and then pull forward again, tempting his erection through the material.

"It was there when you walked through the door of the club." His hands inch even higher. "I had to have two drinks just to calm my cock down."

"You knew you'd have me." I say it as fact. I know it's the truth. I remember exactly how he looked at me that first night at the club.

"I almost had to jerk myself off in the men's room. I couldn't control the want or the need." He moves his hands up my sides, pulling the dress with them. "That tight little body teasing me from across the room."

I lift my hands above my head and he pulls the dress over. "I wanted you too," I whisper.

"You came to the club to get fucked." He pulls the front clasp of my bra open. "You were made to be fucked by me."

He takes one of my nipples into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it. I throw my head back at the sensation and I feel his hand push down my belly.

"You're so wet and ready." He moves his finger quickly across my clit. The pressure is so light I can barely feel it. "Sometimes, at night, I close my eyes and think about how you taste and I jerk myself off."

I moan at the thought of him coming to any thoughts of me. I push his hand back down, towards my center. He pulls it back up as I moan in protest.

"I'm going to make you scream, Jessica." He holds my hips as he shifts his hips to the side, pulling himself down on his back. "You're going to ride my face until you can't take it anymore."

I feel him pull my thighs towards him and I eagerly acquiesce. I move my body so my core is right above his mouth. I feel so close already and he hasn't even touched me with his tongue yet.

He jerks my legs and I fall forward, my cleft meeting his mouth. He sucks the folds between his lips and I reach for his hair. I pull on it, looking down. His eyes bore into me as I feel the first orgasm wash through me.

"Nathan," I murmur.

"Again," he whispers before he claims me with his tongue. I groan at the intensity and rock my hips back and forth, using his tongue as a tool for my pleasure. His hands grip my thighs, pulling me tighter into his sweet embrace.

His tongue flutters over my clit as I push myself into him. I feel so wanton, so brazen. I'm perched above him, taking all the pleasure I can from him while he's fully clothed beneath me. I glance back and see his erection straining against his pants. I want to taste him too. I want to feel that.

I'm pulled back into the moment when he sucks gently on my clit. I'm so close to the edge again. I grip his hair, pulling it hard. His tongue spears into me and I fall into the clutches of an intense climax. I scream his name as I fall forward.

"Again," he whispers and I try to pull away. I can't. It's too much.

"No," I protest weakly as he grips my thighs even harder. "No."

He nods his head as I race to the edge quickly yet again when he sucks on my clit with reckless abandon. I feel so sensitive, so swollen. I can't take it.

Tears stream down my face as I feel the last orgasm rise from within. I curve my back, pull his head into me and let out a deep, intense and
soul-wrenching moan.