Purgatorium (53 page)

Suddenly, I see Stephanie turn toward the tree. We both notice the little girl is gone. Looking scared, she gets up. “I have to go. I will meet with you later on. If they knew I was helping you…well, you know what happens.”

As she leaves, I wonder who she is referring too when it comes to
they
. The reapers or the angels? Before I even realize it, she is on her motorcycle, speeding off back towards the interstate.

I stand up to see what scared her. Grabbing the flask, I walk towards the tree, trying to figure out what the little girl has to do with any of this. I stop and think,
What if she isn’t just a little girl? What if a lost soul is mirroring a little girl to try and seem more innocent?
It would be a very clever thing to do. Trying to tug at my heart strings, making me think of Anna. Just waiting for the right moment to get itself out of here and into my human body.

I walk over to the Ferris wheel and pull the lever for the lights to come on. The ultraviolet rays shine off the huge mechanical wheel while I focus on where the third hidden message is. Looking up at the top cart, I see the word “Gluttony” written on it.

What am I trying to tell myself? What do the seven deadly sins have to do with any of this?

I regain my composure and walk passed the statue, looking at the hourglass reflecting inside the box. I appear to have only a minute left.

I stand at the tree as cherry blossoms fall and dance around me in the wind. I think wistfully of Madi and Anna. I think how one of them could still be alive. I stand there dreading the question I don’t want the answer to. The question that has put a spell on me that I can’t now unthink:
Who would I rather have alive?
I am overwhelmed with self-loathing and frustration from the thought alone. I can’t think like that. They both could still be alive. It’s just like Stephanie said, ‘You can’t worry about things that aren’t for sure.’

A blossom floats down close to my face and lands on the flask in my hand. I look down at it, glistening in the sunlight.
Silver!
I think. I raise the flask, finally understanding.

25 Minutes

I need to find Jehudiel! I head to the office, quickening my pace with every step I take. I rush into the elevator and press the button. Inside the four-mirrored space, I find myself across each mirror displaying a different emotion. One of me is crying, the other is insanely laughing, beside me is angry and behind me is still. I watch as the one that is not making any dramatic effect just stands there, watching me. I raise my hand to the mirror when all of a sudden my image yells to me, “You killed them!”

Frightened, I step back just as the elevator opens up behind me.

I rush out while passing an oddly lit Christmas tree to my right. I get into my office and find two desk lamps lying on the desk. I go to turn on the right lamp first. A regular bulb shines out from it. I go over to the left lamp and flip it on. Once switched, the ultraviolet rays shine out, showing me the next hidden message on the desk. It reads “Wrath.”

Wrath? I am tired of these stupid games! You want wrath?! I will show you wrath!

I take the lamp and throw it up against the wall, breaking the black light bulb instantly.

As I round the corner to the desk, I see the other desk lamp’s light beaming on a bottle of Macallan that didn’t catch my eye till now. I slump down in my chair and drop my head onto the desk. A coffee cup next to the hard liquor reads ‘#1 Dad.’ The grandfather clock stops ticking on my desk.

30 Minutes

If this is a joke, it isn’t funny, Jehudiel,
I think out loud. I look around to see the lights are still out but there is a Christmas tree decorated and lit in the sitting area next to the elevator. I begin to notice how I am feeling a weird sense of déjà vu.

I look back at my single lit light, the Macallan, the coffee cup, and the lit Christmas tree in the corner. Everything seems too familiar.

Lifting my head a little to breathe more easily, I notice a book on the corner of my desk that wasn’t there earlier. It is my Handbook, looking brand new with no burn marks anywhere on it.
Who put it there?
I wonder.

I stand and pick up the book, open it to the first page, and see the name ‘Madi’ written in it. I flip through the pages, seeing that it is the exact same book that I burned this morning.

I head over to the window, watching the day quickly turn into night. I look up at the bright full moon, wondering if God even cares what happens to me.

I loosen my grip on the book and watch it drop to the ground. It falls under the desk. After a few seconds of debating whether to pick it back up, I lean down. As I pick the book up, I wonder what the angels want me to learn from this. This isn’t about Him, this is about me and my life, I think to myself.

In a daze, I lift my head up and bang it on the inside of the desk. In a flash, I see the coffee cup drop down off my desk and smash to the floor. In horror, I see the ‘#1 Dad’ cracked between each other. A matchstick lies on what is left of the coffee cup. I grab it, wondering why it was inside there.

Out of nowhere I hear, “What are you doing in here?”

I look up and the door opens. I quickly get up, still holding the book, and see my old boss Mr. Donald stepping in, looking surprised. I gather my thoughts and remember that Jehudiel was the one that mirrored his appearance. I sit back in the chair as I notice Jehudiel’s clothing seems a lot like how Mr. Donald was dressed.

“What are you doing in my chair?” Jehudiel asks. I find myself unable to move as if the whole situation is coming back to haunt me again. What makes the matter worse is that Jehudiel had to be the one that used my ex-boss to mirror after.

Jehudiel, what are you doing? This isn’t funny, I find myself thinking. I stand up, waiting for a response.

Jehudiel gives me a strange look. “All right, make sure you’re ready for the race in two days—bright and early this time! Remember, the reapers won’t take your lateness. You did find your token, right?”

I feel a slight anger at what he is trying to pull. I think back to him. I was going to, but you see—

Jehudiel interrupts, “There is always an excuse with you!” I look at him as my anger builds. Jehudiel shakes his head, obviously disappointed, and takes the whiskey off the desk. He stops. “You know something?”

Don’t you dare say it, I think.

“I see greatness in you, and it’s just sad that you don’t take the time to realize it yourself. And we’ve talked about this many times before. So don’t bother doing anything tomorrow or running the race.”

I leap up off the desk with the intent to tackle him. In a flash he is by the window while my face lands on the marble floor.

“I’m letting you go, son. I will leave the light on for you so you can say goodbye to all of this,” Jehudiel says. I make a run for him and he rushes back to the door. “Just remember to tell your demon that you want to be a lost soul. He will know what to do next.”

35 Minutes

Jehudiel twists the cork out of the bottle and drinks it down halfway. Setting it back on the desk, he walks off. I run out the door but he is gone. I see only that the Christmas lights glow, casting shadows of branches around the room.

Just then, I hear my work phone ring back in my office. I walk slowly towards it fearing who it is. I look in horror at the caller ID display.

It says: Madi.

I put the matchstick down on the desk and pick up the phone, bringing it to my ear and listening quietly. After a moment of silence, Jehudiel replies, his voice drunk, “Have you ever seen sand turn into snow, Alice? If not, then you’re about to see the many shades of black and blue enter those green peripherals.”

I hear his psychopathic laugh echo through the telephone’s speaker. I breathe out cold air. Instantaneously, I look over at the window and see the hourglass pouring sand while turning into snow just like Jehudiel had said.

Suddenly, I look through the hourglass and out the window. I see snow falling in the night sky just like it did before in my memories. I wonder, if Jehudiel is actually role playing this whole event, then who is he going to get to play? I immediately think, Stephanie! An anger explodes inside of me as I grab the phone and think,
She will not die tonight or ever again!

“Tell her yourself,” he replies softly. I hear faint music playing over the phone, and then the sound of a drunk Jehudiel singing, “The waitress roasting on an open fire. The reapers nipping at your nose…”

At that moment, the elevator doors ahead of me open. I see Stephanie is holding hands with the little girl. I drop the phone and quickly try to figure out what to do. I look all around the room and back at the desk, towards the matchstick. I remember the moment I first met Raphael and get an idea.

I run over to the garbage can and pour all the files on my desk into it. I take off my jacket and begin tearing it to shreds. I then grab a piece of shredded cloth and go over to the half empty bottle of whiskey. I push the cloth through the bottle’s opening and strike the matchstick on the desk. Bringing the flame towards the cloth, I ignite it, then throw the bottle into the can and watch it explode. The flames go off in every direction of my office. I run out as everything begins to catch on fire.

“You’re late. We were worried about you,” Stephanie says as she gazes at my office burning down. I push them both back in the elevator and run in behind them, pressing the lobby button. The elevator closes. I turn to them, knowing I can’t explain, and raise my hands. I look over and see I am still holding on to the Handbook. I accidentally drop it out of shock.

“What is going on?!” Stephanie responds while the little girl picks up my Handbook. I look down at her, not knowing what her true motives towards me are. I bend down and she hands the book back to me, almost scared of me. I gaze into her brown eyes and see a strange resemblance to Madi in her.

Slowly, I take the book away from her as she swiftly wraps her arms around Stephanie’s leg. I see the cold air coming out of my mouth and snap back to the reality of the situation. I stand back up and look to see a concerned Stephanie waiting for me to explain myself.

My body begins to shiver, but they don’t even acknowledge that it’s cold.
How do they not feel it?
I wonder as my teeth begin to chatter.

“She is a lost soul, yes. But she isn’t here to take anything from you. I swear on that Handbook you’re holding. Which is nice to see by the way.”

The elevator stops at the lobby floor and the doors soon open. We run out as a loud screeching sound is heard, coming from the top floor. The reapers are in my office searching for me, I assume. My plan worked. The heat from the fire drew them in. That should buy us just a little more time before they pick up on our heat signatures.

An unfamiliar sound is suddenly heard coming from the top floor. It screams out like a wolf howling at the moon. We all stop running. I look at Stephanie and the little girl’s face, and both go completely white.

“They know that we are helping you,” Stephanie says, looking up at the ceiling in fear. I turn to her, wanting to know how she could possibly think that. Still gazing up, she whispers to herself, “Razor.” She leans her head towards me. “Run…Run as fast as you can.” She takes the little girl’s hand and darts past me. I hear the shrill sound of the beasts once again and follow right behind them.

We exit out of the office and run over to the crosswalk across from the restaurant. Stephanie steps into the street, trying to flag a car. She yells out, “We need to separate ourselves! It’s the only way I see you coming out of this with your memories still intact!”

A car slowly rides up as she quickly goes over and opens the door. Stephanie gets in and stomps her foot on the brake. The little girl scrambles into the backseat.

I watch as the snow pours down in the still night sky. I look to them sitting in the car, which makes me think back to that night. “They’re here!” she screams, looking over me.

As I look back, I see a dark creature flying out of my burning office window. It is engulfed in flames , heading down straight towards the hood of the car.

I look down at the little girl in the backseat as she waves for me to get inside. I stand there realizing that I have two options in front of me: Save myself or safe someone else. Everything slows down as I fight with myself to uncover the answer.

I don’t even know this girl? She could be my demon trying to trick me. If a reaper gets a hold of me then I might as well be deemed dead. But for some odd reason she makes me think of Anna.

I begin to remember the car wreck and of looking behind to see Anna, eyes closed, seemingly lifeless.

I can’t let this happen again, I think. I rush over and open the back door, pull her out, and carry her in my arms. Her frigid skin touches my hand. I move my hands over so as not to let her slip from under me.

I hear Stephanie yell from behind me, “What are you doing?!” Stephanie gets out and runs just as the creature lands, exploding the car on impact. I can’t look behind me, I think. I must keep my momentum going towards the doors up ahead. The coldness gets to be too much. It slowly takes over my whole body, making me feel weak.

Stephanie runs past me to help with the door up ahead. I feel my arms becoming loose as the little girl begins to slowly slip away from my grasp. Suddenly, the book falls out of my hand. The little girl tries to shuffle her body loose as she holds out her hand towards the fallen book. I try to focus her attention to the door but she shakes her head to me.