Purity (Pure and Tainted) (35 page)

Chapter Twenty-eight

Boone leaned forward, trying to reach her, but Hesler put a hand
on his shoulder.

“Damn it, giant, I told you to hang back until we had her. You’re
just making yourself a target—an almighty damn big one at that.”

“K won’t hurt me.” Boone spoke with more certainty than he felt.
K’s eyes were no longer brilliant purple with triple gold rings—they were black
on black—as dark as when he had first seen her. And the look in those eyes was
cold…so cold.

She stepped away from his reaching hand and her own hand slid down
to her hip. Boone’s eyes widened when he saw she was caressing the hilt of a
blaster.

“Well, now.
This
is an
interesting development. My dear K, who could have imagined your
loyalty
would be tested so soon?” The boney old bastard
Hesler had called
High
Sentinel seemed to be enjoying
the scene playing out. Though his pure black eyes meant he was supposed to be
completely emotionless, Boone swore he could see the corners of his mouth
twitching up in a sadistic smile.

“K,” he tried again. “Darlin’, it’s time to come back now.
Time to come home.”

“A Paladin has no home.” Her voice was as cold as her stare. “We
voyage through space purifying the Impure and spreading the light of Purity to
all.”

“That isn’t you anymore. It isn’t what you do,” Boone said
hoarsely. “Baby,
please
, come back to
me.” He reached for her again and again K stepped away. Suddenly the sleek,
black blaster was in her hand.

“That’s right Commander K.” The High Sentinel was practically
smirking now. “Do your duty. Purge the one who contaminated you.”

“Watch out,” Hesler muttered to Boone in a low voice. “They must
have given her a new suit to retrain her. Step back and shield yourself,
giant.”

“I’m telling you,
she won’t
hurt me,”
Boone insisted. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it
was shaking his entire body. And yet he took another step toward her. “Please,
K…”

“Shoot him!” The High Sentinel’s voice cracked like a whip. “Purge
him, Paladin. Commit him to Purity and we will deal with the rest together.”

At last K spoke. “I told you once I would kill you,” she said to
Boone, her voice as hard as her eyes. “I warned you not to discount my threat.”

“I’ve never discounted you,” Boone said quietly. Everything seemed
to be moving in slow motion now. Though the muzzle of her blaster looked about
a mile in diameter, it was still her eyes he focused on. Those beautiful, gold
ringed eyes which had been clouded by black, the same way her mind had been
clouded by the skinsuit’s drugs.

“Shoot!” the High Sentinel commanded again.

K’s finger tightened on the trigger.

Boone’s throat was suddenly so dry he could hardly speak.

“I love you,” he whispered. “No matter what happens, remember
that, K. I love you.”

K’s black-on-black eyes narrowed and an anguished cry broke from
her lips. She spun around, squeezing the blaster’s trigger…

And shot.

Chapter Twenty-nine

K watched the High Sentinel fall with a look of surprise on his
face and a smoking hole through the center of his chest. Then many hands were
reaching out for her, to take her weapon, to trap and immobilize her.

“Leave me alone!” She twisted away from them even as she heard
Hesler say,

“Careful there, giant!
Even disarmed she’s dangerous and
she only turned that blaster at the last nano-second. It was pointed right at
you most of the time.”

“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” Boone sounded
irritated and concerned. “But in the end she did the right thing. Damn it,
Hesler, let me get to her.”

“Better not. Let me talk to her first. Moving from Pure to Tainted
is a big jump. Let’s get her out of here for a debriefing.”

Once again, K found herself surrounded but this time the other
Paladins kept their hands to themselves.

“What’s going on? Where are you taking me?” She felt numb and not
just because of the drugs her suit was shooting into her system. Had she really
just shot the High Sentinel? Had she really just burned a hole right through
the middle of his chest? It didn’t seem possible to K. Maybe this was just
another vivid dream and she would wake up soon. Maybe…

“Out to our ship.
We’re holding a deep orbit around
Midas right now,” Hesler said.

“Who is ‘we
?’
You’re the Tainted?” K had
never expected to see any of them in person.

“That’s right,” Hesler said without hesitation. “We’re Paladins
who got contaminated and refused to purge ourselves just because that old bastard
said to.” He nodded down at the stiff, still smoking body of the High Sentinel.
“We’ve cleared out most of this sector but reinforcements could be coming at
any time. We need to get you out of here.”

They hustled her down the long hallway, passed fallen guards. One
of them had a familiar face.

“Six,” K whispered as they rushed her by. The look of pain and
confusion in his staring eyes proved what she had always suspected—he felt more
than he should.
Just like I do,
she
thought numbly. But Six’s pain was over now and
her own
was just beginning. She only had to catch Boone’s eyes for a moment to know
that.

They put her in a separate ship than the one Boone took though he
fought to stay with her. K heard Hesler talking again in a low voice about
debriefing her and how she was going through a difficult transition. Then they
were up and away, blasting off of the planet’s surface and leaving her old life
behind—this time forever…

* * * * *

“I don’t like it.” Boone paced back and forth, his hands clenched
behind his back. “I don’t like that they took her. I don’t like that she’s not
even on our ship.”

“You heard what Hesler said,” Loki murmured. “Give her some time.
She has to transition.”

“I
helped her transition last time,”
Boone growled. “She doesn’t need some bastard in a black suit to hold her
hand.”

“Or maybe you’re afraid that’s not all he’s holding?” Loki raised
an eyebrow significantly.

“Stop it, Loki,” Mom said sharply. “Boone doesn’t need your
teasing right now.”

“She’ll be all right.” Rolf, who was leaning against the wall
beside Loki’s pilot’s
chair
spoke up. “Hesler’s a good
guy—lucky I had a favor to call in from him. If I hadn’t fixed his ship that
time he was stranded you’d still be trying to figure out how to get to your
girl.”

“Yes, I do appreciate that, Rolf.” Boone sighed heavily. It had
been a damn lucky thing that the “people” Loki’s new touch partner knew
happened to be a squad of Tainted who owed him a favor. One he was willing to
call in on Boone’s behalf.

“What are you so worried about?” Loki asked. “Hesler helped you
rescue K didn’t he?”

“Yes, but he still hasn’t given her back,” Boone pointed out. “I
should never have left her again. Should never have let her be taken from me…”

“Well you don’t have to worry about what my dirty-minded touch
partner here is implying,” Rolf said dryly. “As I understand it, some of the
Tainted engage in regular sex but he’s one who keeps the suit on all the time.
Controls the drive, you know?”

“I’m not worried about him raping her—K can take care of herself,”
Boone snapped. “But what if he’s trying to, I don’t know,
recruit
her? After all—that’s what they do, isn’t it? They take in
tainted Paladins?
Ones who are slated to be purged?”

“K cares about you, Boone.” Mom put a reassuring hand on his arm.
“She truly does. You have to trust that. Trust her to do the right thing—like
she did when she shot that other guy instead of you.”

“Just
barely
,” Loki
muttered. “I swear I was sure she was going to fry old Boone like a piece of
bacon in a pan right up until the very last minute.”

Boone couldn’t take it anymore. He turned to go.

“Hey, where are you going?” Loki asked.

“I’ll be in my quarters. Let me know when she comes back,” he
growled, not looking around.
If
she comes back.

He stalked out of the control area, trying not to wonder where K
was and what she was doing at that very moment.

* * * * *

“That was good work you did back there,” Hesler greeted her as he
walked into the small conference room located in the rear of the Tainted ship.
It was larger than K would have expected and very well laid out—what she’d seen
of it, anyway. They had hustled her in so quickly it was hard to see much more
than a few snatched glances as she came in from the airlock.

“I didn’t mean to do it.” She looked down at her hands, still covered
in the skinsuit’s black webbing. Her whole body was in turmoil—her head ached,
her stomach was in knots and her emotions were out of control. But though the
silver needles bit into her forearms again and again, she couldn’t seem to
regain the coldness and distance she’d felt before.

“What
did
you mean to
do?” Hesler asked quietly, taking the chair opposite hers. With the cowl of his
suit completely open, K saw he had dark auburn hair and chiseled features. His
nose looked like it might have been broken once or twice and improperly
repaired. Not a handsome face, but a solid one. Not that K cared.

“I don’t know what I meant to do.” She shook her head. “I…I
couldn’t think. The suit…it took…”

“It takes everything if you let it,” Hesler said. “But you don’t
have to let it. Look, are you feeling right now?”

K looked up at him uncertainly.
“Feeling?”

He reached across the small metal table between them and wiped at
her cheek with his thumb. K jerked away from his touch automatically but Hesler
didn’t seem to mind. He held up his thumb—it was wet.

“I’d say that’s all the answer I need.”

“I…” K put a hand to her cheek and found she was crying. “I
don’t…”

“Look, this is a good thing,” Hesler said calmly. “You’ve broken
your suit’s conditioning on your own. You probably broke it back when you made
the decision to shoot the High Sentinel instead of your giant.”

“I
am
thinking more
clearly now,” K admitted.
“Or as clearly as I can with all
these Purity-damned
emotions.”

Hesler shrugged. “That comes with the territory. The main thing
is, the suit can’t control you anymore which
means
that
you
can control
it.”

K shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“The suit is a tool,” he explained patiently. “What the Purists
use to control us. But it can be changed, reshaped to fit our own individual
purposes.”

“What purposes?”

“It gives strength and stamina and nutrition—a cool head in
battle. And as we both know, it has other…advantages as well.” Hesler raised an
eyebrow. “For instance, it’s not always convenient to
feel
as you’re feeling now. To be honest, it Goddamn hurts a lot of
the time. If you tune the suit right, you can avoid emotion while still
retaining personal control of your thoughts. A lot of our people use it that
way.”

“Your people?”

“The other Tainted. Others of us, of course, wear the suit for a
different reason.”

“Such as?”
K swiped at her cheeks, trying to
take in what he was saying.

“Such as, let’s just say you’re not the only one with Erian DNA,”
Hesler said grimly.
“When it’s trained properly, the suit
arrests the sexual cycle indefinitely.”

“Good.” K felt genuine relief. “So I could keep it on forever and
never have to go through a cycle?”

Hesler shifted in his seat and frowned. “I won’t lie to you. There
are…certain side effects to wearing the suit all the time and using it the way
we do. When you break the original balance, you invite complications. But we’re
working on those and with correct training,
yes,
it’s
entirely possible to never go through your sex cycle again.”

“Good. Because I can’t—I
can’t
go through a cycle.” K looked at him earnestly. “I could kill someone. I could
kill…”

“Boone?
Your giant?”

“He’s not mine.” K looked away. “He never was. Not really.”

“Try telling him that,” Hesler said dryly. “In fact, you’ll have
to. I promised him you’d see him as soon as I finished debriefing you here.”

“What?” K’s eyes flew up to his steel gray ones. “But I can’t. I
shouldn’t. It’s not safe.”

“It’s safe enough as long as you’re still wearing the suit. For
now, anyway,” Hesler assured her. “Even with the conditioning broken, it will
still go on regulating your hormones for a day or two. You’ll have to train it
correctly in order to keep those benefits, but you can go visit his ship and talk
to him at least.”

K bit her lip. “You keep talking about ‘training’ my suit. What
happens if I don’t? Can’t I just keep it on indefinitely? Not that it would be
fair to Boone. If I keep the suit on we can’t…I can’t let him…”

“If the word you’re looking for is ‘contaminate’ then you’re not
ready anyway,” Hesler said flatly.

“No, it’s
not…not
like that anymore,” K
protested. “He never actually…we never actually did
that
. But what we did do…I liked it.
More than
liked it.
But my cycle…”

“Did you reach the third phase?”

She shook her head.
“Only the second.
But
I know what will happen if I take off the suit and let my body continue the
cycle. Boone knows too but I don’t think he really understands. If I let my
hormones take over and I can’t think anymore…”

“Well, the first cycle
can
get a little rough but—”

I’m a royal,” K interrupted.

“Ah.” Hesler nodded, a frown creasing his face. “That
does
complicate things.”

“Even as big as he is, he won’t stand a chance if I go feral,” K
said in a low voice. “I’m a trained killer.”

“We all are. It’s the way they conditioned us.” Hesler sounded
bitter. “Don’t think… don’t feel… don’t touch… just
kill
.” He leaned forward. “Do you know how many years it took me to
be able to touch anyone voluntarily—the way I touched your face just now? I
take no pleasure from it but I
can
do
it. Getting there hasn’t been easy, though.”

“I
still
don’t want to
touch anyone,” K admitted.
“No one but Boone, anyway.
That’s another reason why I can’t go through my cycle. He’s not Erian and I
can’t stand the thought of anyone else…doing
that
to me.” She shivered.

“Not surprising. I won’t lie to you, Commander K, the Purist
conditioning is fucking difficult to overcome. That’s why so many of us choose
to just stay in the suit.”

“But that’s the thing, if I can’t take off the suit, Boone and I
can’t have…can’t…”

“You can’t make love,” Hesler finished for her gently.

“Right.”
K nodded miserably. “And I don’t
think it’s fair to ask that of him. From what he’s said to me in the past, it’s
considered a very important part of life for most people.”

He barked a short laugh. “That’s an understatement, I’m afraid. A
lot of males—it’s all they think about.
Females too.”
He sighed. “Your head gets jammed up with emotion and lust and you can’t think
straight. It’s just easier to turn it off—to let the suit turn it off for you.”

“It’s not fair to ask Boone to live with an emotionless, sexless
robot,” K said softly. “And it’s not safe to take off the suit.”

“It won’t be safe to leave it on, either—not until you’ve trained
it,” Hesler pointed out.

“What do you mean?” K asked. “You know, Boone is a geneticist. He
said that given enough time, he might be able to come up with something to
circumvent my cycle.”