Purple Haze (Blue Dream Book 2) (6 page)

Presley

“You
ran
away?” Katherine questions from the other end of the phone.

Trying to keep my attention busy, I start to sign the stack of forms waiting for me. “Like an 80s pop ballad.”

There's a ruffling and a hidden chuckle. “Wow, Presley. I knew you had been running from your past but to actually
run
-”

“It's really not funny,” I mutter mortified. “I ran out of a building full of people, away from one of my employees-”

“Which I'm glad it was Merrick you went out with. He seems a little young at times, but he's got a good vibe to him.”

I roll my eyes at the interjection. “I didn't know what else to do, Katherine.”

“You could've tried talking to him.” Her suggestion is nonchalant. “Or yelling at him. Or politely dismissing yourself. You didn't have to
physically
run.” And look like a complete idiot I'm sure she wants to add. “I understand how difficult it can be to confront your past, but you need to. For
you
. Aside from helping me write a best seller, which thank you again for that.”

“You're welcome,” I mumble and re-stack the finished forms.

“Part of the reason I wanted to keep those sessions going was because you needed to see the real you. The ‘you’ you were keeping hidden. The ‘you’ you were denying yourself, the world. You needed to be able to take control of the part of your life that you had been neglecting. You're already the strong, successful business woman. Here is another chance to grab the rest of you, Presley. Deal with your past. Face it. Tell it all those things you've been dying to, then let it be the encouragement you need to move forward.”

Her words make sense even if they aren't what I want to hear or digest. Facing Ryder yesterday, for even that split second was too long. It was like looking at the envelope with no return address in familiar handwriting all over again. The dread. The excitement. Fear. Betrayal. The mess of emotions that block my brain from everything else.

Dana pops her head in my office. “Delivery's here.”

“I have to go,” I sigh.

“Call me later.”

“Yeah.” After hanging up, I pick up the stack and head for her. “Here's the updated forms you asked for.”

“Thanks!” Her bubbly attitude causes the lingering nausea from downing an entire bottle of wine on an empty stomach to stir. “Katherine also ordered you a late lunch and it's waiting for you at the front.”

A small smile comes from her overbearing ways. In a low murmur I say, “Of course she did.”

The delivery man offers me a short smile. “Miss Morrison?”

“That's me.” I reach for the offered clipboard and sign off. “Dana will show you where to place the products around back.”

Dana gives him a huge smirk before strolling off. “This way....”

His eyes and body follow behind her, the smile he had given me expanded. Why does it feel like everyone is full of flirtation? Am I being paranoid or am I just overly sensitive to affections in the air ever since Katherine brought to the light the lack of it in my own world? Getting Ryder's letter and then seeing him in the flesh didn't help. Just the thought of the incident that I've been trying to hide from causes a wave of anxiety to crash over me.

I grab the delivery bag from behind the front desk and start back towards my office when Merrick abruptly attempts to stop me. Naturally my eyes shut as I cringe at the conversation about to occur. I've dreaded him coming in all afternoon for this reason. While I was relieved last night when he didn't text to question why I vanished without an explanation, I knew this moment would be inevitable.

“Boss Lady,” he says again.

I turn around with a professional smile plastered on my face. “Yeah?”

“Can I um...Can I talk to you about something in private?”

The urge to say no, to remind him this is a place of business, is heavy, but the instinct to keep one of the only social contacts I have outside of Katherine around is stronger.

“Sure.” I swallow the apprehension. “Let's got to my office.”

We leave the main entry area and relocate to my office where he leaves the door open just a crack.

Once I've settled in my chair with my bagged lunch placed to the side of me, I usher a hand at the visitor seat. “Go ahead.”

“I'll stand,” he denies quickly.

I struggle to encourage him to proceed, “What'd.. um..what'd you wanna talk to me about?”

Merrick's bright blue eyes blossom with concern. “So...well...alright I'll just say it.”

My body tenses.

“I'm gonna be an uncle.”

The confession tosses me back in my chair. Now completely taken off guard I trip over how to continue. “Con- Con- Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” His smile finally appears. “I'm gonna be the best damn uncle too. I've got it all planned out. How to sneak cookies. How to lock pick. What it needs to do to stay in my big brother's good graces. What routes to take to avoid the city cops....”

Curiosity over some of the comments twitches my lips.

“The problem is I wanna be there when my niece or nephew is first born, but I can't exactly put in a request like that since baby's show up whenever they feel like it.”

“True.”

“So, I was wondering if we could work out some way for me to just...take off that time when it comes?” Merrick's confused tone combined with the request feels like someone has removed a brick from crushing my heart.

With new found relief, I cross my legs and fold my hands in my lap. “How about this? You have general idea the month, right?”

“Right.”

“Fill out a request form for the beginning of the month. Make a note about the dates being flexible and write down how long you would like off, just so we can get something on my schedule in case I forget. The days you miss because you're not a teacher don't require someone to cover your shifts so much as you just making up the time. Which honestly? Not a big deal. You'll put in extra hours at Christmas this year balancing out the vacation.”

“Awesome,” Merrick joyfully says.

“Just whenever you split town if it's in the middle of the night or day before you come in, make sure you give me a call or shoot me a text.”

He smiles gleefully again. “I can definitely do that.”

Thankful this conversation isn't what I thought it was going to be I inquire. “So what are they having?”

His face immediately frowns. “I don't know. And they won't tell me either. None of my brothers will. I think Knoxie threatened them. It's kinda what she does. Pretty sure she's punishing me for not moving back home.” A little chuckle comes out, which spurs him to add, “She's still a little bitter about that.”

With another giggle I apologize, “Sorry.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Merrick shoves his hands in his pocket. “I'm gonna head out to the shed. I see the delivery finally arrived.”

“Late...”

He rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and starts out of my office yet unexpectedly pauses. In the frame of the door he turns to add, “Thanks for being so understanding, Boss Lady.”

An immediate nagging feeling he had double intentions for those words causes my smile to fade. I don't reply. I give him a nod and he disappears leaving me filled with discontent. Maybe I'm too understanding. Maybe too forgiving. Maybe that's why it took this long to let Xander go. Maybe that's why I never could cut myself completely off from Ryder. Maybe that's why he had to be buried instead. Question is, now that it's in the light, is forgiveness for his past mistakes and adolescent learning something I can do? Something I should be
understanding
about? Do I forgive and finally let go? Do I find a way to understand the disaster we became and let go? Do I have to let go? I guess the real question is, do I even want to? Is it so wrong to almost be relieved that through all the bullshit we managed to gravitate to one another again? Is it wrong to be scared while considering going down that path again? Running away yesterday was the right call. Until I have at least one of those answers, it's best we keep our distance.

**

The fat droplets on my windshield are not enough for my wipers, but still manage to startle traffic into misbehaving more than I was anticipating. It takes an extra fifteen minutes to get home making me even more thankful for my arrival than I already was. While the end of the day appeared to go smoothly, I was struggling in different waters. Food orders from the local supply source were not up to standards, feuding teachers who have created a line of gossip throughout the building, preparation for a scheduled visit from licensing tomorrow, and of course the unanswered questions in regards to Ryder drained every drop of energy I barely had.

I kill the engine, grab my work bag, and head for my front door.

“Pres,” a familiar voice calls from behind me, just steps from my front door.

Certain I am imagining things, I glance over my shoulder to see Ryder leisurely heading towards me. His blue eyes look so bright. Hopeful. Excited. All of those emotions spin me back around. How? How can he feel those things? Why isn't he confused? Why is he
here
?

“Pres,” he repeats in the same delicate tone.

With the key in the lock, I mutter loudly, “I have to go.”

“Wait.” Ryder demands with such desperation my body instinctively melts. “Please?”

Turning around slowly as a rain drop lands on my glasses, I whisper, “What?”

“I just...” his voice seems to choke with every step he takes. “I just...” Rapidly Ryder's eyes roam across the sight of me until he quietly croaks, “God, you're still so fucking beautiful.”

The compliment robs the breath I had been holding. My mouth moves to repeat the previous phrase yet nothing is said.

“I just...” the struggle continues as he extends a hand to touch me. Now he's too close. Too real. I flinch away before our bodies can have contact. Fear faintly finds its way into his expression. “Are you...are you afraid of me?”

Quietly I confess, “Yes.”

Another rain drop lands on my cheeks, exactly where tears should go. They seem to be increasing in frequency giving me the perfect excuse to rush inside.

His face seems to tighten with sorrow. One glance at the anguish on it, sears my soul. “Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you again?”

“Not physically,” I confess on a weak breath.

Pushed by another emotion he shifts until his proximity, which isn't close enough for actual suffocation, has me gasping to breathe. “Can we just...”

Unconvincingly I disagree, “I....have to go.”

Ryder's eyes drift over my frame in waves, each blink bulldozing the bricks I put up to keep from being vulnerable again. “Presley-”

“I should go.”

“I haven't stopped thinking about you.”

The confession sinks my body against my door. “I...I need to go.”

“I haven't...” the words are cut off by his continued movement.

There's a crack of thunder in the sky warning me to go while my brain is still functioning. Though my hand fiddles with the keys in the lock beside me, my eyes stay captured by the pair I feared I'd never see again. “I...”

“I always find my way back to you,” he states in such a soft declaration I'm not certain who it's to. His large, full size frame, is now nestled against mine. Ryder is a literal inhale away from touching me.  “No matter how lost I get...”