Pushing the Limits (24 page)

“It’s okay. You can touch it. It stopped hurting a few days after it happened. It won’t bite your fingers off. It’s a scar. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

I placed my fingers over my mouth, swallowing bile. “What happened?”

“Foster parent number one. My fault. I decided to go hero and keep him from beating his biological kid.” He said it so plainly, so matter-of-factly, as if branding happened to everyone. “And this—” Noah touched the top tip of his tattoo on his other arm “—is from where I used my body to protect Tyler and Jacob from debris falling in the fire.”

The one-inch wide scar ran down the middle of his cross tattoo and stopped at the bottom edge. The top of the scar continued onto his back. I tore my eyes away from it to study the design of his tattoo. A single rose weaved through the black Celtic cross. Each tip of the cross bore the name of his mother, father or brothers. The heaviness in my chest squeezed my lungs. I traced the line of the cross, not the scar.

“It’s a beautiful tribute to them.” I couldn’t imagine losing everything. At least I still had my father. I might have to jump through hoops for the rest of my life to please him, but at least for the moment, I still had … I think … his love.

Noah took the hand tracing his tattoo and kissed my fingers. “Yes, it is. My parents would be proud of each scar.”

My eyes snapped to his. “I didn’t mean … I meant the … tattoo.”

He licked his lips before flashing a mischievous smile. “I know. I showed you mine, now it’s time you showed me yours.”

I shook my head back and forth before he even finished his statement. “It’s not the same. You’re strong. You helped people. I … I trusted the wrong person and then I go all pathetic and don’t remember a thing. Anyhow, you’re a guy. Scars on guys are, like, sexy. Scars on girls … that’s just … ugly.” And there, I said it—out loud.

His hold on my hand tightened and his eyes darkened into thunderclouds. “Fuck that. There is no shame in trusting your mother. She fucked up. Not you. And as for that pathetic bullshit—fuck that, too. You are not pathetic. You had the guts to return to school and continue to live your life like nothing happened. Me? I lost it all and flushed anything left of me down the damn toilet. Now that’s pathetic.”

Noah released my hand and advanced on me like an angry lion. In lightning-fast movements he wrapped his arms around my waist and laid me flat on the bed. My heart pounded as he hovered over me. “Baby, no one would ever make the mistake of using the word
ugly
with you. Especially with me around.” He pushed the curls off my face, his fingers leaving a burning trail. “Everything about you is beautiful and sexy as hell.”

I turned my head to the side, unable to hold his gaze. “There’s more.” Because there’s always more. My mother guaranteed that. I grabbed the hem of my sweater and before I lost my nerve, tugged the material over my head and twisted slightly, revealing not only my black lace bra and arms, but the one scar no one but my mother and father knew existed.

Noah’s fingers lightly touched the long thick ridge below my left shoulder blade. His voice pitched low. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“No one else knows, Noah. Not even Lila.”

He kissed my back as he slid his hand over the scars on my arm. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered against my skin. Noah lifted my arm and kept eye contact as his mouth trailed kisses along the scars. Pure hunger darkened those chocolate-brown eyes. “Kiss me.”

Raw emotions and the need to hold him close overwhelmed me. Every part of me ached for him—my mind, my soul and my body. Without hesitation, I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips eagerly to his.

Noah’s hands were everywhere, my hair, my face, my back, and for the love of all things holy, my breasts. My hands roamed his glorious body just as greedily. After drugging me with delicious kisses for not nearly long enough, his warm lips skimmed my throat and kissed down the center of my breasts, causing me to arch my back and lose my ever loving mind.

Without meaning to, I moaned and whispered his name when his hands wandered to my thighs and set my world and blood on fire. Noah eased me back into the bed and my hair sprawled all around me.

“I love how you smell,” he whispered as he suckled my earlobe. “I love how beautiful you are.”

I reclaimed his lips and hooked a leg around his as we moved in rhythm with each other. In between frantic kisses, I whispered the words, “I love you.” Because I did. Noah listened to me. He made me laugh and he made me feel special. He was strong and warm and caring and … everything. I loved him. I loved him more than I’d ever loved another person in my life.

Every muscle in my body froze when Noah stopped kissing and stared down at me with wide eyes. He caressed my cheek twice over and tilted his head. “Make love to me, Echo. I’ve never made love.”

No way. Noah’s experienced reputation walked down the hallway before he did. “But …”

Noah cut me off with a kiss. “Yes, but never love. Just girls who didn’t mean anything. You …” His tongue teased my bottom lip, thawing my body. “Are everything. I got tested over winter break and I’m clean and I’ve got protection.” He reached to the side of the bed and magically produced a small orange square.

I froze again. Sensing my hesitation, Noah kissed my lips slowly while stroking my cheek.

“And since break?” I asked.

“There’s been no one,” he whispered against my lips. “I met you soon after and I could never think of touching anyone else.”

I loved him and we were together. I entwined my fingers in his hair and pulled his head back to mine, but the second his hand touched the waist of my jeans, my heart shook and my hands snapped out to stop him. “Please. Wait. Noah …” Oh, God, I was actually going to say it. “I’m a virgin.”

Now Noah froze. “But you were with Luke.”

A faint smile grew on my lips. I was typically the tongue-tied one and found it amusing to see him confused for once. “That’s why we broke up. I wasn’t ready.”

He shifted his body off of mine and tucked me close against his warmth. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the comforting sound of his beating heart. Noah ran his hand through my hair. “I’m glad you told me. This needs to be right for you and I’ll wait, for as long as you need.”

NOAH

Almost all the cars were gone when I returned home. I’d dropped Echo off at midnight then driven around for a couple of hours, attempting to process everything that had happened between us. Seeing her expose herself to me, trust me when I deserved no one’s trust, it was … life-altering.

Rico slept on the couch with his body tangled with some chick’s. Odds were she’d regret that in the morning. In the basement, light flickered from the television with the sound muted. I grabbed the remote to turn it off when Isaiah stopped me. “I’m still watching it, man.”

“My bad.” I smiled, catching myself using one of Echo’s phrases. The smile fell when I noticed the bare back of a girl passed out in Isaiah’s arms. I immediately turned to head back up the stairs. “Sorry, bro. I didn’t know you had company.” Wouldn’t be the first time he forgot to lock the basement door.

“Stay. It’s Beth.”

That answer only made me want to run. I’d gone this long
without seeing her naked and had no intention of starting now. “I’m good.”

“Wait and we’ll have a beer.” Isaiah mumbled something to Beth and she gave a groggy reply.

In the kitchen, I opened the fridge and grabbed two beers. Isaiah emerged from the basement clad only in jeans. I handed him a beer and twisted off the cap of mine. “I told Echo she was mine.”

“I made out with Beth.”

The two of us leaned against the counter and drank our beers. “You and Beth a couple?”

“Hell if I know. You know how she is. I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t bolt to her mom’s for a month when she wakes up and realizes what we did. Worst case, she makes out with the next loser guy to prove she doesn’t need anyone. Fuck, Noah, I screwed this up.”

I let him have the silence to collect himself. Finally, he pulled at his lower hoop earring and spoke. “It happened. I’ll deal with it. Even if I have to ignore it happened. It’s just … we were both wasted and she smelled so damn good.” Isaiah didn’t need to explain. I knew all about girls that smelled good. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought Echo lived in a bakery.

“So you gotta girl then?” asked Isaiah.

“Yeah.” I was officially attached. We stood in silence again, both of us taking the occasional drink from our beer.

“I meant to say something to you guys earlier. I’m having problems finding one of the parts I need to fix her car. I’m going to have to buy it from a parts store.”

My knowledge of cars was limited, but even I knew this couldn’t be good. “How much?”

“One hundred.”

Dammit. Echo depended upon our tutoring sessions for money and so far she’d given Isaiah everything she had. I knew her father had the money, but he refused to help. “Don’t tell her. Buy what you need and I’ll cover the cost.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Echo wanted that car running and I wanted to see that siren smile. Several large sheets of paper with Echo’s name on the bottom caught my eye. How did she draw so fast? She’d drawn a picture of Isaiah and Beth laughing with one another. The last one stopped my heart. I saw my mother’s eyes.

Isaiah came up behind me. “She’s a fucking artist, man. That drawing is the spitting image of you.”

“YOU DIDN’T HONESTLY THINK you could leave school without me knowing?” Mrs. Collins closed her office door and shrugged on her coat.

I had considered walking out the side door near my locker, but Echo’s pot comment convinced me to think ahead—something that no longer came easily to me. If I wanted to make a good impression, I’d better start following some rules, or at least give the impression I did. “I have a note from Shirley and Dale to let me out of school. This is totally legit.”

She rolled her eyes and dug her car keys out of her massive purse. “When are you going to accept that I’m on your side? I’ll drive and have you back in time for last period.”

I finished writing my name on the sign-out log and tossed the pencil on the counter. “More like put me in the hospital,” I mumbled. Mrs. Collins breezed past me and I followed her out to her car.

“Mind telling me how you know about this?” I asked as I shut the passenger door and securely fastened my seat belt.

“My husband volunteers for the Legal Aid Society and gave me a heads-up that you made an appointment.”

Great. Would I ever ditch this woman? I clutched the armrest when she gunned the engine on the freeway and cut off a minivan. “That big red shiny thing inches from you was another vehicle.”

She slapped the steering wheel and laughed. “Every time I think we aren’t connecting, you tease me. I love it.” Red taillights glowed in front of us. She accelerated instead of braking.

“Construction zone,” I said. Mrs. Collins swerved in front of a tractor trailer without even looking in her mirrors and barely made the exit off the freeway. The light at the bottom of the ramp turned red. She waited to hit the brakes until we were less than five feet away. I whiplashed forward then slammed back into the seat. “I could teach you to drive if you’re ready to admit you don’t know how.”

Mrs. Collins finally took a peek in her rearview mirror, but only to check her lipstick. “Would you like to tell me what you’re going to discuss with a lawyer? I was under the impression you agreed to leave Jacob and Tyler’s well-being to me.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not discussing that.” I kept my eyes peeled on the road before us. Mrs. Collins may act like an idiot and be the worst driver on the face of the planet, but she always knew more than she let on and I had a feeling this time was no exception.

THE LEGAL AID SOCIETY WEBSITE promised free legal help, which was good because I needed help and I needed it to be free. Located downtown, the Society was housed in one of those old historic homes my dad loved to drive past. I remembered him complaining to Mom about how difficult it was to keep the city
from tearing down the old structures. He would have loved that the Society remodeled the old home into offices.

For a half hour, Mrs. Collins and I sat in wooden chairs across from the receptionist. Around me, other people waited patiently, some impatiently. Phones rang and murmured conversations drifted from offices. Like everything else in life, if it contained the word
free
, it implied slow. Mrs. Collins finished checking her email on her BlackBerry and turned to face me. I should have known my luck would eventually end.

“Why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you’re here?”

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “You’re smart, so I’m sure you figured it out.”

“Yes, but I’d prefer to hear it from you.”

Rubbing my hands together, I contemplated telling her the truth. If her husband worked here, she’d find out regardless, but somehow speaking the words to her invited her into my private world. The question was, did I trust her enough to let her in? “I want custody of my brothers when I graduate and turn eighteen. I need someone to tell me how to make that happen.”

“Noah …” she began, then stopped. Her pause made the air between us heavy. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to raise an eight- and soon to be five-year-old?”

Couldn’t be any worse than life now. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to live without them?”

“Keesha and I are working on increased visitation.”

A muscle in my jaw jumped and I had to focus to keep from yelling. “I don’t want increased visitation. I want my family back together.”

“Winning custody of Jacob and Tyler won’t bring your parents back.”

My heart slammed through my chest and I snapped my head
to look at her. “You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I’ve spent the past two and a half years knowing that my life will never be the same?”

“Exactly,” she said. “It will never be the same. You won’t be their brother. You’ll be their father. There’s a huge difference … have you honestly thought this through? What type of job do you think you can get fresh out of high school? How do you think you can afford to raise them and take care of yourself? There are programs out there to help
you
, Noah. You. Because you’re a ward of the state, they’ll pay for you to go to college. Think about the life you can create for yourself. Think about the future you can have.”