Qaletaqa (3 page)

“What do you mean you saw me?” The accusation
in her voice hurt. “Did you see me before you left? Did you see how
much pain I was in and still left?”

“No. I didn’t see you before you left.” I
paused, not sure how to explain what I had let slip out. Was she
ready to find out how much I had changed since she drank the
poisoned tea? I decided to trust her. I had screwed up terribly in
my efforts to protect her by holding back. “My friend Talon showed
me what you went through the past few days.”

“Oh, you mean the cougar?” Claire asked.
“That makes sense, I guess.”

I smiled. Why had I ever doubted her? “You
know about Talon?”

“Sure, Cole told me about him and how he
helped you guys when you were looking for Daniel. I didn’t realize
he had stayed with you, though.” Claire glanced around
unafraid.

“Talon has been with me ever since the Matwau
attacked Daniel. Did Cole tell you about that too?”

Claire nodded with a deep frown. “He told me
everything,” she said. Her body softened as she leaned against my
chest. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, Uriah. I guess
I’m not the only one who has been struggling lately. I’m sorry I
slapped you. Forgive me?”

I wrapped my arms around her body and kissed
the top of her head. “There’s nothing to forgive. I deserved
it.”

Claire looked up with a smile. “Is Talon
still here? I want to meet the one who’s been taking care of my
Uriah for me.”

Before I could even relay the question to
him, Talon stepped out from behind a clump of bushes and walked
slowly up to Claire. Her eyes widened with surprise, but she did a
good job of hiding her fear at facing the large cat. As children we
had grown up being taught about the dangerous animals we shared the
desert with, snakes, coyotes, wolves, and cougars. Claire showed
her strength by approaching Talon and gently stroking his tawny
fur.

“She is very brave,” Talon said. Like the
stream of images he had showed me before, his words were not actual
words, but pictures I could use to interpret his thoughts. I could
answer him in the same manner. It had been less than a week since
first experiencing his unique brand of communication, but the skill
had developed rapidly and I no longer had to take the time to
interpret. His messages flowed into my mind as simple words.

“She is amazing,” I said to him. Claire
continued to stroke Talon’s fur, and I took the moment to ask him
about his earlier display. “How did you do that? How did you see
her thoughts? I thought you could only do that with me and
shaman.”

“So did I,” Talon said. “Through your
thoughts, I heard the phone call and decided to stay out of the way
and let you have your reunion with Claire. When she appeared, I
instantly felt a connection with her, not as I have with you, but
closer to what I had with Kaya or Quaile. When she began thinking
of what she had gone through during your absence, the power of it
flooded my mind. I did not mean to relay those images to you. Her
emotions were so strong that I projected her thoughts without
realizing what I was doing. I apologize.”

“No, I’m glad you did. I needed to know what
I put her through so I could truly ask her to forgive me. I was a
fool for leaving her.”

Talon nodded, satisfied with his
confession.

“He’s beautiful,” Claire said.

She didn’t seem to have heard any part of my
conversation with Talon, just as Kaya and Quaile, both shamans,
could not. It made me wonder about Claire’s future role in our Tewa
Indian tribe.

Claire stood and faced me. “Well, where are
we heading?”

My first reaction was to tell her that we
were not going anywhere, that she should turn right back around and
go home, but her firm stance and my earlier promise forced me to
bite my tongue, literally. I clamped down on the soft issue until
my protective instinct died down and I could speak to Claire
rationally. “To be honest, I don’t really know. I’m following the
link. I can feel her through the Twin Soul bond.”

Claire blanched at the mention of the bond.
She was afraid and so was I. “Where is the bond leading you?” she
asked.

“North. Since I left San Juan I’ve been
pulled almost directly north.”

“Is she okay?”

The concern in Claire’s voice was sincere.
This mystery woman was the only thing standing in the way of Claire
and I finally getting to enjoy our happily ever after, and Claire
was concerned about her wellbeing. I couldn’t believe how wonderful
she was. “She’s alright for now,” I told her. “I think she’ll be
fine as long as the Matwau knows I’m coming for her.”

“How will the Matwau know whether or not
you’re coming?” Claire asked.

“He can feel me because of the bond. He may
have even been able to feel me before that, but I’m not sure. He’ll
know I’m coming, though. I am sure of that.” Claire shivered at the
mention of me sharing any kind of connection with an evil beast
created by the dark gods. I pulled her close to me again and
stroked her hair. “It’ll be okay, Claire.” She only sighed and
tucked her head closer against my chest.

“Uriah, we should be moving,” Talon said.

“Of course.”

Gently, I lifted Claire away from my body.
“We need to get on the road again.”

Claire nodded, biting her lower lip at the
same time. I knew that habit well. She was worried, but she would
continue on. Claire was not one to be deterred by any type of
obstacle, big or small.

“Do you want to follow me?” I asked her.

Claire started shaking her head. “No way. The
truck is perfectly capable of hauling your bike and Talon. I’m not
letting you out of my sight.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Talon
said. He was tired of running along the road beside me. I wasn’t
against the idea either.

3: Weakness

Claire’s body was warm against mine. The heat
was distracting, but welcome. I had missed her touch so badly over
the past four days. I’d loaded the motorcycle and watched Talon
jump into the truck bed, happy for the chance to be next to Claire.
However, not being able to stay focused on the road made me
question the wisdom of my decision.

More than willing to let me drive, Claire had
handed over the keys and slid into cab. I drove down the highway
with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand clasping
hers. I wasn’t sure whether it was her tight grip or mine that had
caused my fingertips to go numb, but neither of us was willing to
let go. I knew the glimpses Talon had given me of Claire’s pain
were only that, glimpses. I wondered if I could even bear to hear
the rest of her pain.

Claire’s voice rescued me from such
thoughts.

“Who’s Kaya?” she asked.

“Kaya? Where did you hear about her?”

“The voicemail message on the cell phone. The
greeting said the phone belonged to Kaya.”

Claire’s voice held only the slightest hint
of jealousy. I could hardly blame her. “Kaya is the Shaman in Hano,
Arizona. She helped me find the Shaxoa who knew how to make the
potion to sever the Twin Soul bond,” I said.

Claire nodded. “I can’t imagine Quaile ever
helping somebody get in touch with Zarafen. I thought all shaman
and Shaxoa hated each other.”

“Well, Kaya and Samantha, that’s the Shaxoa,
are a little different than your typical shaman and Shaxoa. They’re
sisters.”

Suddenly I knew exactly what my face looked
like when Kaya revealed the same thing to me, because the matching
expression was plastered across Claire’s face. I smiled and let out
a laugh.

“Sisters, really?” Claire asked. “I wouldn’t
have imagined that was even possible.”

“They’re two very interesting women. You
would like them,” I said. “In fact they’re dying to meet you.”

“Me? Why?”

I finally released Claire’s hand and slipped
my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me. “They want
to meet ‘the girl that would make me risk so much.’ Their words
exactly. They probably feel like they already know you after
everything I told them about you.”

“What did you tell them?” Claire asked. The
smile on her lips was soft and timid, as if she needed to be
reminded of my feelings for her after what she had been through. I
was happy to oblige.

“I told them everything that happened after
Quaile told us we weren’t Twin Souls and couldn’t be married, but
more importantly, I told them how much I loved you. I told them
about how I used to watch you at school and hope you would come
over and talk to me. I told them about the day you tricked Jonny
into driving to the river because you knew I’d be there to help you
get away from him, and how that day changed the rest of my
life.

“I told them how kind you are, and how you
make me laugh and try new things. I told them how strong you are.
You never let anyone tell you what to do, and how you always do the
right thing no matter what anyone else thinks. Basically, I told
Kaya and Samantha that you are the most amazing person I have ever
met, and that I could not imagine my life without you.”

Claire had been soaking up the reminders, her
eyes closed with a pleasant smile on her rose tinted lips, until
the last sentence. Suddenly her smile turned into a deep frown.
Tears began to sparkle in her eyes, the eyes I loved to look into
and try to see myself as she saw me. A tear slid down her cheek
just before she ducked her head and turned into my chest. I hugged
her to my body and stroked her hair.

“Claire, what’s wrong? Did I say something to
upset you?”

Claire sniffed, but didn’t look up. Her voice
came out muffled against my rumpled shirt. “I know what you almost
did,” she whispered.

“What I almost did? What are you talking
about?” I asked.

“After Daniel woke me up, you said goodbye
and left. You were leaving for good, and I don’t mean moving to
another state. You were going to…” Claire sobbed into my shirt,
struggling to finish her thought. “You were going to let the Matwau
kill you.” Then she cried in earnest.

My heart broke. I had never kept secrets from
Claire before all of this started, but that was one decision I had
planned to take with me to my deathbed. “How did you find out?” I
asked. My anger against Quaile spiked once again. She was the only
one who had known. There seemed to be no end to her treachery.

Claire pulled her head away from me and faced
me, tearstained. “Your mom told me. She didn’t know exactly what
you were planning, but after Cole told me about what happened on
the trip to get Daniel I had a pretty good idea about what you
would have done.” Claire took a deep breath and steadied herself
before continuing. “Can you ever forgive me?”

I thought my jaw might have fallen open, but
since I had lost all feeling in my body I couldn’t be sure. I had
to force myself to form words and speak to her. “Forgive you for
what?”

“For not being strong enough. I told you I
didn’t know if I could stand up against the bond. I saw your face
when I said it. I stole your hope and left you with nothing. You
needed me, and I wasn’t strong enough to be there for you when you
were counting on me the most,” Claire said.

The admission was startling, but she said it
with such composure that I suspected she had been preparing it for
a while. She waited patiently for my reply. Slowly I took my foot
off the gas and steered toward the side of the road. My hands
mechanically put the truck in park before settling back in my lap.
It was a few seconds before I could face Claire.

“Claire, I can’t forgive you. My decisions
are not your fault,” I said. Claire started to shake her head, but
I took her face in my hands and held her still. “All you did was be
honest with me, which I love about you. I can’t fault you for
telling me the truth. You are strong. Look at what you’ve been
through. I felt the bond. I can’t believe you overcame it as much
as you did. All the time I was gone, I was terrified I would get
back and you would have already forgotten me.”

Claire tried to voice her opinion on that,
but I silenced her by pressing my hands against her cheeks.
“Claire, I was the one who wasn’t strong enough. At the time, I
thought I was doing the right thing by walking away. I thought it
would make it easier for you to let me go if I wasn’t around,” I
said. “When I decided to go and find the Matwau, that was my own
weakness showing. It was stupid, I know that now, but I just felt
so alone and helpless at the time that I didn’t have any strength
left.”

I pulled Claire close to me again, cradling
her in my arms. “Even when Quaile told me there was a chance, it
wasn’t until later that I finally found something that gave me back
my strength.”

“What was it?” Claire asked.

I smiled and breathed in the scent of her
hair. It smelled different than usual. It took a few moments before
I recognized the scent as the shampoo I usually used. I was quick
to tamp down the emotions the idea of Claire using my shower
brought up, and snapped my mind back to her question. “It was you,
Claire.”

Claire looked up at me. “What do you
mean?”

“I realized that even if Quaile was lying to
me in order to keep me from killing myself, I would be okay. It
would be horrible to lose you, and I hope I never do, but the time
we’ve had together has been wonderful, and nothing could take that
away from me. You changed my life for the better, and I wanted to
live up to the gift you’ve given me,” I said. I wondered if all of
that had made any sense to Claire.

Tilting her head to one side, Claire’s frown
started to turn up. “I’m not sure whether that’s a compliment or
not,” she said. “You don’t want to disappoint me, but you found out
that you could live without me after all.”

Her smile widened, and I knew she understood
what I had been trying to say. “Only if I absolutely had to,” I
said.