Queen (10 page)

Lenore looked away, unable to defend her stand on the issue any further. Her son-in-law was in the clear, and she knew it.

Queen's fingers fairly itched to slap some sense into that woman. How dare she blame Cody for something that wasn't his fault! Then she took a slow, deep breath is she realized what she was thinking. It hadn't been that long ago when she'd been as ready as Lenore Whittier to brand Cody Bonner a rake and a loser. What had changed her mind?

She took a good look at her employer and knew that it was the man himself who'd changed it for her. She had a sudden urge to walk into the room and take a stance beside him. He looked so alone… and lonely.

She watched him rise from his chair and walk across the room to speak quietly to his sons, reassuring them in the only way he could that they were not responsible for the antagonism between him and their grandparents. His dress was casual, but fitting the occasion, yet even in his most relaxed moments she still sensed how much of the soldier he would always be. Even out of uniform there was no wasted motion in the man. He moved with grace.

But there would be no more stiff collars and perfect creases in his world. After years of uniforms and rules, the last of the starch was gone from Cody Bonner's life.

Queen knew as she watched him that she was getting in over her head. His face had become almost as familiar to her as her own, and his solid, vibrant presence in the household made getting up every day something to look forward to.

For days Queen had wished for the freedom to trace at will the outline of that proud, straight nose, run her fingers across those fierce black eyebrows of his that hovered above eyes too blue for words, straightening their angry arch with nothing but the touch of her hand. If things had been different, in another time… another place… she might have given this man her heart… if he'd asked. But Queen knew better than to count on dreams. In her experience they had a terrible tendency to shatter. So she did what she'd come to do.

"Dinner is ready," she said.

Cody looked up at her with relief. Their eyes met, and for a moment he imagined he felt something pass between them, a connection—a bonding of something more than common goals. And then he noticed her dress, and the voluptuous body beneath it, and his eyes widened. It was the only indication he gave as to how stunned he was by her appearance.

Queen saw the slight change in his expression and suspected it was gratitude for her interruption. She'd made a promise to stand behind him in his efforts to reassure the Whittiers that he was a good and decent parent. She would do what she'd promised. After that… She bit 3 and looked away.

The vague and unknown destination that she had had in mind when she'd started her journey no longer seemed as appealing as it once had. Every day it became more and more difficult for her to think of the time when she'd have to say good-bye.

Cody felt her withdrawal and wished in that moment that they were alone. He wanted that feeling back… that sensation of being one with her. For a heartbeat, before she'd looked away, he had felt something he r had before. And when the feeling had left him, he'd felt more alone than he had in years.

Queen stood aside as the group quietly moved past her, into the dining room.

Will looked up and managed a weak smile. Without thinking Queen reached out and gently brushed a lock of dark hair from his forehead and then winked at J.J. and straightened his collar, tickling his neck as she did and teasing a smile into place. The gestures were small but caring, something a mother might do.

Cody caught the byplay between them and tried to tell himself that it wasn't jealousy he felt as he watched her working her magic on his sons. He could have used a special look or touch himself tonight, but it was not to be. When he walked past, all she did was stare at the floor. He had a sudden, intense urge to shake the hell out of her, just to see how long it would take that white-hot anger he knew she possessed to erupt. At least then he'd have some kind of emotional response from her other than being ignored.

And the evening had just begun.

Lenore let the first course come and go before she began firing questions around the table with the skill of an arbitrator, promptly ruining what was left of all the Bonners' appetites.

"Donny… do you keep up with your studies? I seem to remember that things don't come easily to you. You'll always have to apply yourself, you know. You can't slack off now, boy. Getting into a good college is so important."

"It's summer vacation, Grandma," Donny said. "School is out."

J.J. sniffed, then absently wiped his nose with the back of his arm as he reached for a piece of bread.

Lenore gasped and touched her throat as if struggling for air. "Jeffrey James Bonner, decent young men don't sniff, they blow. And certainly not at the table!"

"Ss-s-sorry, Grandma," J.J. stuttered, and let the bread fall back on the plate.

Cody took a deep breath and stared at the perfectly groomed matron sitting across from him, wondering what made women like her tick. She was never satisfied, and no matter how hard the boys tried to please her, she always managed to find fault, not praise.

Will stared down at his plate. His shoulders trembled as he waited for the next blow, struggling against the need to cry.

Queen was furious with Cody. How could a father sit and let this happen in his own house? This woman was impossible, and the boys had endured enough.

"Will! You're not eating! You won't get up from this table until you've cleaned your plate, and that's an order!" Lenore announced.

"I-I'm… n-n-not… hu-hungry," he said.

Lenore frowned. "I see you're still stuttering."

If children could wilt, Will would have expired on the spot.

Lenore gave Cody an accusing glare. "I thought I told  to do something about that. You should take him to specialist. Children with defects like his will never succeed… not in this world."

Queen slammed her napkin down and shoved back her chair as she rose. Her voice was low, her anger barely concealed behind a small smile that never reached her eyes.

"Will doesn't have defects, Mrs. Whittier," she said. "And honestly, until your arrival, I'd never heard him stutter. I'm sure whatever caused it will be gone soon… don't you think?"

Lenore was horrified at being called down by mere hired help. And she hadn't missed the woman's subtle attack. How dare she imply that it was her own fault that Will stuttered? She looked to her husband for help, but he suddenly seemed intent on the last bite of roast beef on his plate.

Cody grinned behind his napkin. He wanted to applaud. He was also very surprised by Queen's sudden defense of his boys, although she had only said what he'd been thinking. It made him realize that he was letting the Whittiers make him lose sight of what mattered most.

Suddenly he didn't give a damn whether they liked what was going on here or not. By God, they'd already taken him to court and turned him inside out, and he'd still come away with his family intact. They couldn't hurt him again, not anymore. And it was time they heard it from him… not a damned court judge.

"Boys, you may be excused so you can get ready for bed," Cody said. "Take turns in the shower, and don't use all the hot water, okay?"

They nodded and bolted from the table, anxious to escape the strained silence of the room.

"I'll clear the table," Queen said. "If you'd like to move to the living room, I'll bring coffee later."

"Not unless it's decaf," Lenore said. "If it's not decaf… I won't sleep."

"I'll have whatever you make," Allen Whittier said suddenly, surprising everyone, including himself, by speaking aloud. "I don't sleep much, no matter what I drink." He gave his wife a rare, pointed look.

Queen left the room with a stack of plates in hand, but not before she heard Cody strike fire.

"That does it," he said. "You came unannounced and uninvited, and that's fine. You'll always be their grandparents. I won't try to undermine your right to that. But you will, in turn, not undermine my rights. I will not have them badgered constantly, and if they need correcting, I'll do it. Do we understand each other?"

Lenore was furious. "If Claire were alive, you wouldn't dare talk to me like this!"

Cody took a deep breath before he began. What she said was true. And he wasn't proud of the reasons why.

"You're right," he said. "I probably wouldn't. Claire made the rules… and I let her. She didn't want to live on base or share any part of my life except the paycheck, so I let her have her way about that, too. And because of that, I didn't get to see my family as much as I'd have liked."

He bowed his head and stared at the tablecloth. When he spoke again his voice was lowered to just above a growl as he fixed Lenore Whittier with a cold, blue stare.

"I'm sorry as hell that a drunk driver cheated my sons out of having a mother. I'm sorry as hell that I lost my wife, and you two lost a daughter. But I'm not sorry that I took my boys out of state. That part of Florida was getting to be a crazy place to live. I'm not sorry that for the first time in their lives they're getting a dose of what it means to be boys. A little dirt and blood never hurt anyone, Lenore. And they grow up so fast… why don't we agree to disagree? I'm sick and tired of all this fussing, and so are the boys."

Queen let the door swing shut behind her. The sick-at-heart feeling she'd had when Cody had sat silently through Lenore Whittier's barrage was gone, as quickly as his anger had appeared. For some reason it was important to Queen that Cody not lose face. She didn't stop to decipher why it mattered. Besides, if what she suspected was true, there was something else that needed her attention.

She dumped the stack of dishes into the sink and made a beeline for the back stairs. As she'd expected, all three boys were on their knees at the head of the stairs, hidden by the shadows on the landing as they listened to their family fussing over them.

The imploring looks they gave her were all she needed. It was time for Queen to put their world back in orbit… to see how good an astronaut she could be with other people's troubles.

"No fair eavesdropping," she said quietly. "Come on, guys. Let's get ready for bed. If you hurry, I'll read you a story."

Donny was the first to see the wisdom in her request as he glanced down at Will and J.J. They looked ready to cry, and he hated it when they cried.

"Good deal," he said, and took each brother by the arm. "Come on, guys, if you don't splash the floor, you two can share the shower. I'll use Dad's bathroom, and we'll be through in no time. What do you say?"

"Can I pick the story?" J.J. asked.

"No, me," Will said.

"We'll read two," Queen said, settling the fuss before it began. "Now scoot, before I change my mind."

They flew to do her bidding.

The promised coffee never appeared, and the Whittiers, weary from their travels, finally turned in for the night. Cody had considered the idea of giving up his own bedroom, then decided against it. They'd come unannounced and ready to criticize, so they could make do with a roll-away in his den instead.

He sighed with relief as they said good night, and when the door closed between them, the smile he'd pasted on his face slid away.

"Jesus Christ!" he muttered, and headed for the kitchen.

But Queen was nowhere in sight. The dinner table had never been cleared, and dirty pots and pans littered the kitchen. Puzzled, he turned in place, and then his gaze fell on the back stairs, and suddenly he knew.

Taking them three at a time, he made short work of the distance to the second floor. He was almost running by the time he got to the boys' room. Prepared for the cries and recriminations he would have to face, he was stunned by the quiet when he entered the room, lit only by a single bedside lamp between the two double beds. The scent of soap and bath powder hung in the air, and the only sounds he heard were the soft growls of Donny's gentle snoring.

His anxious gaze raked the shadows, and then his breath caught as he looked past Donny's bed to the one against the wall.

They'd fallen asleep in the middle of the story. That much was obvious. He walked across the room, bent down, and lifted the open book from Queen's limp hand, careful not to wake them. He looked down at the title and smiled. Robinson Crusoe. He laid it aside and then stood, slowly absorbing the serenity of the scene before him.

She was lying between them, holding J.J. with one arm and Will with the other. Her long legs were outlined beneath the soft, thin fabric of her dress, and the boys' dark heads were resting upon her breasts. Cody swallowed with difficulty, watching as one child sighed softly and the other shifted in sleep. Unconsciously Queen's arms tightened around each in a firm, protective manner.

An overwhelming sadness slipped into Cody's thoughts as he realized for the first time that no matter how much his boys loved him, they must have missed a gentler presence in their lives. Even though they were growing tall, they still hadn't grown too old for a mother's love.

His eyes watered, and he inhaled sharply and looked away. When he looked back, Queen was staring up at him in groggy confusion.

In that moment, caught unaware, he lost his bearings with this woman. He saw love waiting behind the hard-nosed, fast-talking, quick-thinking Queen he'd come to know. He felt it happening as if in slow motion—the exchange of surprised smiles, the sleepy green eyes locking with his. He wished to hell that he could trade places with his sons and find some peace of his own in her loving arms.

And then she blinked as if coming out of a trance, and the shutters came down between them. Cody felt the wall being resurrected. In seconds she'd removed herself from the bed, deftly shifted the boys to a comfortable position, and turned out the light.

Queen was shocked by the intense longing she'd felt when she'd opened her eyes and seen Cody looking down at her. For a moment she'd forgotten her place, and where she was, and almost… just almost… invited him into her arms. But sanity had returned in time to save her. She'd crawled out of bed in haste and confusion, aware that he'd moved away. Thinking he'd left the room, she was startled to turn in the darkness and find him standing before her.