Queen (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (59 page)

“I’m sorry. I’m not making fun of you. Obviously I look around and see men and it turns me on. I have no issue wanting to touch and be touched by women. I’ve had more hands and mouths on me in the last year and a half. It feels empty though. I want sex to mean something, or at least the type of sex that happens in a bed. I don’t want my first time in the dungeon with some girl I picked up off the dance floor.”

“You should find a guy you want and do this with him,” I murmur.

I know exactly how he feels. Being with Cort taught me something. He was a friend and it still felt like torture. It wasn’t the same as it felt with Grant and Marcus or even with Jamie. I can’t imagine what it would feel like with a stranger- empty. I bet it’
d feel empty. 

“See, I’ve only ever met one guy that I’ve had a crush on. I’ve seen guys that I thought we’re hot, but they like girls. I don’t want t
o just randomly fuck someone.”

“Who?”
I ask of his crush. “That’s if you don’t mind me asking.”

“You can ask me anything. And that is my point. I’m comfortable with you. I trust you. You trust me. We will need each other for the rest of our lives. I can tell you anything and I always will, Regina,” he vows. 

He kisses my hair and it’s discombobulating. His mind is the Whitt I’ve always known; now it’s finally housed in a body that it matches.

“My first crush was when I was nine. I’d following him around like a puppy. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, but I learned from him how I was to behave. He’s very reserved. Ezra,” he says with no shame.

“Wow, I can’t believe you had a crush on him and I didn’t know.”

“There were a lot of my thoughts you didn’t know, Regina. I know that you’re confused. I’ve always known you as an adult. But you met me when I was a child and you’re struggling to see me as a man. Marcus was a huge help to me. I was sixteen when he started training me. I know that it upsets you thinking that he was corrupting me with BDSM, but that wasn’t the case. He was teaching me to be a man. It wasn’t until after I turned eighteen that we touched anything dealing with our lifestyle. He was the father I lost. He helped me be a better father to Niel. Because, Regina, I am Niel’s father. Everyone says that we were raised as brothers and that I’m
his uncle. But I have been his father since the day he lost his parents. I was preparing for it since he was born. I didn’t know why, but I knew I had to be ready.”

“Thank you, Daniel. I can never repay you for taking care of my son.” I sob at the weight I put on his shoulders and for the l
oss of time with both of them.

“No, don’t thank me. Niel saved me. He gave me a reason to move forward. If there is one person on this earth who knows what you’ve lost, it’s me. You lost Grant and Niel on the same day. I know you feel as if you lost me too. I lost you and I lost the man who was my father. If I hadn’t had Niel while I dealt with my namesake and lived in Misery Castle I would have killed myself. Who are we kidding? I was born to be a martyr- gay artist who has daddy issues. Instead I had someone to call my own. We can share Niel, but I’m never giving him back. You’ll just have to deal with it. That kid is mine,” he declares in a
voice filled with possession. 

“You’re not at all dominant, are you?” I laugh.

Whitt’s amazing. His calm, polite, and easy-going demeanor crackles with suppressed power.

“Yeah, I am. I’ve learned to hide it. A smart man doesn’t show his power and influence. A smart man hides and watches and learns. I’ve learned a lot, Regina. Do you want to know what I’ve learned?”

“Yes,” I say eagerly.

“You have to be positive. It will change thi
ngs for all of us,” he warns. 

“Yes,” I reply again.

“I have a condition, first,” he states.

“I’m
not bartering sex,” I growl. 

“No,” he chuckles. “That’s going to happen. If not tonight, it will someday.
I’ll wear you down,” he says confidently, but not cockily.

“I want to see my sis
ter,” he enunciates each word.

“Um- sure.
Ade won’t be home until this afternoon, but if you mean Katherine, you should probably wait until after breakfast.” I hurriedly say.

“No, my sister.
Repeat after me, Daniel, you may have unlimited access to Ella.” He firmly enunciates each word.

“What?” I yelp in shock.

“I just told you I watched and listened to everything. I was invisible in that house and I still am. If it’s whispered under that roof, I hear it. Do you really think I didn’t know about Ella? I bet I knew you were pregnant before you did. I adored her coloring book pages when she was little. Niel and I knew who we were creating our comics for- for our Queen and our sister, Ella,” he says with reverent devotion that brings tears to my eyes. 

“I don’t know what to say. Why do you k
eep calling Ella your sister?”

“Lesson one: don’t trust anyone. Lesson two: you can trust me,” he laughs and it shakes his entire body. “Lesson three: I thought I would die before I could tell you this. I’ve told no on
e,” he says enthusiastically. 

He pulls me up until we’re facing each other sitting up. He looks me in the eyes and I see sadness
and excitement warring.

“I’ve always known about Ella. The night you fled, Ade told on you. I heard it all. I was in Father’s study when they told you about Grant. After you left she told him you were pregnant. She’s also giving him progress on her growth. He’s happy with Niel so he has left Ella alone. You know how he feels about gays and girls. We aren’t fit to run his kingdom. Several times I heard her say that Ella keeps calling me her brother, about how no matter how much you tell her to stop, she keeps saying it. How she’s never grows out of it. It made me think.” He smirks and cocks his head to the side.

“Father has a lot to lose if Niel isn’t his heir. He didn’t want Grant as his heir and we know what happened to him. This cannot leave this room, Regina. Swear on your children’s lives,” he demands. 

“I swear on Daniel the III and Ella that I will say nothing,” spills from my lips with no thought.

“Grant was my father,” he sobs. “I found out last week. I heard Ade tell Father that Ella said it again. She was angry. I think she’d figured it out. She said that no matter what, Ella would argue and point at the pictures. She was adamant that I only looked like Grant. Ade said that he did it with you and who’s to say it was the first time. Father hurt her and I knew it was true. I walked in and saved her. I couldn’t stand to see him strike her,” his breath hitches in his throat and he sighs.

“Later that night when Niel was sleeping I stole hair from his brush. I stole hair from Father’s brush and I yanked my own out. The results said that Daniel Whittenhower I was the grandfather to subjects Daniel Whittenhower II and the III. And since I know you aren’t my mother… that would make Grant our mutual Father. That means that the gay kid he’s abused since birth is the heir to the Whittenhower throne. This can’t leave this room until I figure out how to take over. I don’t want to end up like Grant,
” his voice breaks from fear. 

“Grant knew,” I whisper and I know I’m right. It was the secret that his father kept tossing out when he wanted something from Grant.

“He found out that night. He was going to marry me and take you and Niel,” a sob hitches in my throat at how very close we were to succeeding. 

“I know. I was in the room when you accused him of poisoning a woman you called Gwen. I guess she was my mother,” a mournful noise erupts from his throat.

He hides his face against my neck and whimpers. His tears fall down my shoulder and dampen my t-shirt.

“I need you, Regina. I need you to help me ruin him. He’s hurt you over and over. He’s taken so much from you and me. He took my mother away from me. He killed my stepmother and my father. He took you and Ella from me. He’s hurting Adelaide. He could still take Ella from us. I have to stop him and I can only do it if you’re by my side. I have a plan, but I have to wait and watch. I have to be meek and invisible,” he whispers. 

He rolls his big blue eyes up to meet mine and silently pleads with me. I watch as they fill until the surface breaks and plump tears fall.

He’s strong and I’m strong. We need each other. It won’t be as it was with Grant and me. As much as I loved Grant, he was too weak to protect his family. I was strong, but not strong enough to thwart his father. If Whitt and I joined up we could keep our entire family safe from his
harm. We might even be happy. 

“What plan? I’ll help anyw
ay I can,” I excitedly offer. 

“Promise?”
Whitt gives me his sunshine look. The look that makes me feel alive and fills me with hope.

“I want my family back. I promise.” I clasp his hand in mine and hold it over my heart.

I realize too late that I just agreed to an open-ended agreement. Whitt smiles brilliantly and I know I should’ve asked of the plan being agreeing.
“What’s the plan?” I ask again, but my voice breaks in awe knowing that he’s going to hit me with something I won’t like.

“Father wants to retire, but he wants to remain in charge for a while. He released an affidavit stating that on the heir’s twenty-fourth birthday he’ll step down and the heir holds all rights to the Whittenhower holdings. We have three years, Regina. I’ll silently wait. No one can know this or he’ll change it. I’m my Father’s eldest son. I am the Whittenhower heir. The Whittenhowers will be ours. It would solve all of our issues.” His face is glowing.

I never knew he wanted to run his family. I don’t think he knew he did until recently, either. I know he would be a benevolent leader. I feel pride for him. I ache inside that Grant can’t see him.

I ache knowing that Grant lost all he ever wanted on the day he received it. Grant was going to make a life with me by his side and raise his three children. It was taken away in a single breath. Whitt has three years to plan and three years to fail. I just hope history doesn’t repeat itself. I have more to lose now, too. I’m older, smarter, and more influential. I will do anything to bring Daniel Whittenhower I to his knees.

“Marry me, Regina. I don’t want to be your age waiting for my prince to come when I already have my Queen by my side.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

“What?” I shriek in shock. “Surely you’re joking,” I say in mystification.

“Wow,” he says in awe. “That wasn’t how I planned for this to go. I thought you’d say something along the lines of, ‘yes, Daniel, I’d love to be your wife.’ I didn’t plan on you looking shocked.”

“No,” I shake my head. “It’s not that. I’m surprised is
all. Why?”

“I want my family back,” he state
s plainly. “You’re my family.”

“That’s not good enough Whitt. You have to sell me on this. I see the wheels turning in your mind,” I
tease him and he smirks at me.

“If I convince you, then you will say yes?” He flashes his dimpled smile and I lose all thought
. He’s dangerous to my health.

“I will start with the fact that I love you. I want to take care of you even though I know you don’t need it and you’ll fight me the entire way, but I’m strong enough to bend you. I love your son as if he’s my own. I love your daughter as well. Grant was my father and I want to honor him. I want his family to be
whole.”

“Yeah, what about the fact that we aren’t exactly suited sexually.
You like guys and so do I,” I say pointedly. 

“We won’t know that we’ll mesh well until we try. I’m sure we’ll come to an arrangement that suits us both.” He
grins his dimple inducing smirk.

“I never wanted to be in a business
-merger marriage,” I grumble. 

“It won’t be like that between us. We
are
family. It’ll be a marriage of love, the lasting kind. Those infatuated idiots who believe it’s real love or fated, get married and are miserable in no time. This would be about family, respect, honor, and it would last,” he vows. 

“What if you found someone you wanted as your husband. What if I do?” My voice quivers in fear.

Fear that this will push Marcus and me farther apart. What does it matter? He just let me go and he is married. Marcus would’ve never chosen me no matter what the circumstances were.
“We will cross that bridge when we get to it,” he says matter of fact.

“No, if I have to consider your proposal then this needs ironed
out now,” I say impatiently.

“Fine,” he smirks at my tenacity. “If either of us finds our soulmate,” he rolls his eyes at me as if the concept is preposterous. “We’ll part ways amicably, but only after the Bastard is no longer a problem. Our security
is more important than love.”