Queen of Jastain (28 page)

“He’s alive as far as we know.... and she thinks he’s your son.”

“What do you mean
she thinks he is my son
?”

“She isn’t sure he is.” Abby hated to hurt him with the horrible words.

“But she was expecting the child before….”

“Yes, she was.”

He remained quiet, his gaze fixed on the rock behind her. His chest rose and fell in a rapid but steady rhythm. “Is that all, or is there more?”

“That’s all.”

He seemed oddly in control, which was somehow more frightening than the rage. “Then you're ready?”

“Avant, don’t you want to wait….”

“No.”

“Please say something.”

He stared deep into her eyes. Hurt reflected there, but oddly relief, too. “Abigail, I've learned one lesson in the past twenty years—some things are simply out of my control. If I want to find my son, I need your help.”

He'd taken it far better than she'd hoped, but she was afraid of the proverbial other shoe.

After a brief reminder from Avant on how to Implant into him, Abby centered her energy and stared into the sapphire eyes that would soon know everything…in living color. She looked past his eyes, resisting against his thoughts and feelings, and in an instant deposited all that she was within him.

A stream of energy left her body, filling his heart and mind in the world's most intimate download. She caught flashes of the information as it transferred and glimpsed a few things she'd wished she hadn't seen go by, reminding her of every stupid thing she’d done, like that pole dancing class. A returning current refilled her like a circuit. Avant infused her with his energy as her life was written on his heart.

He passed out and fell sideways on the cave floor. He came to around midday and sat up from the pallet where she'd laid him.

When she caught his eye, an electric current stabbed through her. The circuit remained open. She quickly closed her mind. He blinked and took a deep breath, as if to stave off a wave of nausea.

She stared at him, waiting for the
Oh my Light
gasp. When it didn’t come, she tentatively asked, “How are you feeling?”

Avant blinked at her, apparently still trying to process everything. He closed his eyes. “I've felt better, but I'll survive.”

Abby remembered the dizziness. “You will…but
will I
? Now you know everything. I have no secrets.”

His blue eyes opened, and Abby felt like she'd plunged from the top of a cliff.

“Yes, I know everything,” he said with a sad laugh.

“And….”

“And…I'm sorry I hurt you so deeply. I'm sorry I did not understand what happened when I Implanted into you. I'm sorry I pushed you away and could not give you what you sought, but at least you found it with someone else.” The hurt in his tone was evident though his face remained neutral.

“You mean Petra.”

“Yes, I am referring to Petra. You're in love with him.”

“Am I? I suppose it’s hard not to love someone who loves you so completely.” She made the statement more of an accusation than a declaration.

“Yes, it is.”

Avant still denied her love for him. Why? It seemed ridiculous since they both knew the truth. At least, he wasn’t giving her the sympathetic-teacher gaze. She really didn’t want to have to beat the crap out of him, since she still needed his help to go pee.

 He changed the subject. “I think I know how you can get back home.”

 “Really, how?”

“It's your love. That's what brought you here and almost took you away.”

“What do you mean?”

“Abigail, when you give your love, the energy of it flows from you then returns again in a perpetual loop. That loop replenishes the supply of energy from which your Implanting draws its power. As the love accumulates and flows out, it keeps your Implanting in balance and harmony. Love is the answer.”

He sounded like a freakin' hippy. “Huh? I’m not sure I understand.”

Avant gazed to the ceiling as if searching for a way to explain then turned to her. “Snow falls on the mountains. The sun melts the snow, and it runs down to make rivers and provides water to the land below. The sun takes the water up from the valley into the sky, and it falls again on the mountains. If you stop the sun from shining, the circle would be interrupted. This is what happens with your energy when your love is…unrequited or rejected. The flow of the loop is halted, and the energy of your Implanting is unchecked and out of balance.”

“How can I stop…loving?” Abby bit her lip.

“I do not think you have to stop completely. You only need to interrupt the flow momentarily. Long enough to Implant somewhere to get back into balance.”

“Oh…okay. Still not sure I get it, but what do we do next?”

“We test my theory, but not today. You're still not ready to travel, and neither am I. Since we're not sure where we might end up, perhaps it's best to wait a day or two.” Then the most devious little twinkle lit his eyes. “In the meantime, my lady, you can explain to me the benefits of Mexican Minesweeper, because, based on your memories, I see none.”

She laughed so hard it hurt.

They spent the next two days in the cave. Abby was sore, but the fog had cleared from her head. It even seemed like she was gaining her strength back, if not any weight. She and Avant had more in common now. They talked each day and late into the night. He hadn’t said anything about Sentieve, but he talked a lot about Chatham. He would love the boy whether they were related or not. She hoped he wouldn’t be disappointed.

“Abigail, I am fascinated with the inter-workings of your thoughts. I never imagined that when I say a thing it could be analyzed or interpreted in any way other than intended. Yet you can find three different inferences and analyze them in an instant, determining the most logical. Do all women think this way?”

Abby laughed at the perplexed furrow of his brow. “You mean do we try to figure out what a man is thinking when he says something? Pretty much.”

“The love you experience is a paradox of delicacy and strength. Your heart is fragile toward those you love but fiercely protective of them.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t fathom the concept. “Having insight into your mind and heart is a privilege, Abigail. Please don’t ever Implant into anyone else. We must discourage the use of the Gift in this way. It is too dangerous.” His eyes became remote. “Although, to some extent, there seems to be a built in safeguard.”

Abby reared back. “How is it dangerous?”

He gazed at her with a look of incredulity. “Do you mean that you cannot see how to make an advantage against me from my Implanting?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess not. I figured I was the one who got the short end of the stick in that deal.”

His face clouded with thick emotion she couldn’t read, and when he spoke, his voice was soft and reverent. “That is because your heart is pure.”

Since her Implanting, there was something different in the way Avant looked at her that made her think he'd changed again. Could he have had the same experience with her Implanting that'd she'd had with his? Her heart rumbled at the thought though she tried to push it down. He held her that night as they watched the sun set and fell asleep.

The next morning she woke to a sweet breeze across her face. As she opened her eyes, his lips descended and brushed against hers in a soft kiss. Abby’s heart leapt to life and she breathed in his scent so close, until she realized he wasn’t even awake. The following morning something rock-hard pressed against her abdomen and roused her out of sleep. He wasn’t awake for that either. At this rate, she might
get lucky
, and he would just sleep right through it. She rolled her eyes and stuffed down her own desire as she gently pulled away and went to wash in the stream, the cold stream.

On the evening of the sixth day in the cave, Abby dreamt of her dad’s study.
She opened the safe and lights shone out from far away.

She sat up in the pallet. It was time to go.

“Avant.” She lightly shook him.

“Is everything all right?”

“I had another dream. It’s time to Implant. What do I need to do?”

He sighed and stretched, trying to wake himself up. She loved how she didn’t have to explain about her kooky dreams to Avant. He just believed her.

“I think you should concentrate on something or someone you love then try disconnecting with your feelings. My theory is that you will be sent someplace where your energy can return to balance.”

“Do you think I should try right now?”

“You can try. I doubt you'll be able to make it work on your first attempt. Maybe you should try with Petra.”

She shot him a sideways glance. “All right.”

She missed Petra and had thought of him every day, hoping he was safe. She concentrated on her love for him, the sunshine in his eyes, and the way he made her laugh. She focused on the flow of love, feeling the invisible energy radiating from her heart to his and back again. Time and distance were irrelevant in the exchange. She made a deliberate effort to halt the flow of love. For a brief moment a light flashed, and electricity coursed through her head.

She sat cross-legged on a rug in a dark room. Hearing the light breathing of someone sleeping, she was afraid. Eventually her eyes adjusted and she could make out the room.

As quietly as she could, she got to her feet to see if she could find a door. She took two steps to her right and tripped over something in the floor, making a sound that was sure to wake everyone within a mile.

A candle lit behind her. Petra sat up, looking more than a little startled.

“It’s me.”

“Abby, what are you doing here? Are you all right?”

She went to his bed and sat on the edge. The bed linen rode low on his hips and his glorious body glowed in the candlelight. She swallowed hard and looked away from his bare chest. “I’m fine. Well, except for a couple of bruised ribs. I Implanted here from the cave. Isn’t that unbelievable?”

He nodded at her in wide-eyed amazement. “Is Avant all right?”

“He’s fine. We were attacked crossing the river but managed to escape to the cave and have been hiding there since we left you.” She told him the story of her Implanting into Avant and how he took the news about Sentieve.

“The king’s army is marching on the Freelands, but two neighboring lands to the southwest have sent troops to help. Aesdil is a coward. He'll back down once he gets the report from his men that you and Avant are not here.”

They talked for half an hour before Abby remembered Avant alone in the cave. He would be out of his mind with worry. She hugged Petra and thought again of her love for him. She made a deliberate effort to stop the flow and…nothing happened. How was she going to get back to Avant? To get back to Avant, did she need to think of him?

Bringing him to her mind was like eating forbidden fruit.
Avant
. She'd allowed herself limited access to those feelings since the episode at the falls. To open her heart and let the love rush through her like a river, strong and steady, was frightening and heady. She thought of his strong arms, his heartbeat and his blue eyes, then focused on stopping the flow. A light grew. A shock reverberated through her head and a flash.

She gazed into the blue eyes that she loved. They weren’t happy eyes. She pursed her lips. “Don’t look at me like that. You were the one who didn’t think I could do it that quickly, and I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

He frowned. “Where did you go? And why did it take so long?”

“I ended up in Petra’s room. It was so dark, but I could hear him sleeping.”

“Was he wearing clothing? I've warned him about that.”

She rolled her eyes and continued. “We talked. Apparently, I have to think of the person I want to go to. Are you mad?”

His face softened. “I’m not angry. I was worried. How is Petra?”

Abby told him about the king’s army and the southern villages. He was pleased with the news.

They packed up camp and left the supplies in the back of the cave. Still several hours before dawn, they decided to leave. Based on her memories, Avant's best guess was a time difference of twelve hours, which would put them in Dallas at three p.m.

“Isn’t it exciting? Did you ever believe anything like this was possible? I can’t wait to take a shower and drink a Diet Coke.”

“I admit it is more than I thought possible. I am ready to see the world from which you came, and to find my son.”

Avant put his arms around her, holding her in tandem. She thought of her dad and how much she hadn’t known about him. Now that he was gone, she knew him better than when he was alive. Wishing she could talk to him, she halted the flow of love as it filled her heart.

A light flashed. They stood in his study, Avant’s arms firmly around her.

Avant blinked, the light momentarily blinding him. As his vision returned, he gaped at dark wooden shelves filled with leather-bound books. The transition had been instantaneous and seamless.

“Ouch! Avant, please loosen your grip. My ribs are still bruised.” Abigail winced.

“I'm sorry.”

He released his hold. She rounded the large, oak desk and sat down. There he stood in another world…
Abigail’s world
. He turned in a circle, taking in the room: the sights, the sounds, the smell.

Since the day of their first meeting, he'd desired to see it, but after she Implanted into him, a chain locked around him and drew him here to
Dallas
. Hundreds…
thousands maybe
, of books lined the shelves, books printed by machines. He ran his hand over an armchair near the stone fireplace. The leather and textiles of the furniture were all crafted by machines. An age of superior technology and discovery, but spiritual infancy and moral decay. He shook his head.

Abigail rummaged through the documents in the desk upon which sat a light illuminating the contents. She held the…telephone,
yes that was it
, as she pressed buttons on the handset.

“Susan, this is Abby.” She spoke in English.