Queen of the Clueless (Interim Goddess of Love) (6 page)

The weird thing was? I heard every single thing Robbie said. I was aware of where we were, and what I was doing. In fact, I might actually have been talking back, and to him it probably looked like we were having a perfectly normal conversation. Except? I didn't know
how I got there
.

It was like being in one of my goddess dreams. But this wasn't a dream, because it was humid and I was sweating, and my dreams were never as uncomfortable.

"Sure," I heard myself tell him. "Of course she will. She likes you."

Did I just say yes to a date with Robbie?

It wasn't that I didn't want to go out with him, but it was totally weird that I seemed to be
there and not there
while this was happening.

We were sitting on the steps of the front porch of my aunt's house. I lived with her during the regular school year, because it was just a short walk from her house to Ford River. My home in Manila was too far and stressful a trip, but I still went back to visit my mom every two weeks. Or she'd come over and see me.

It was right on that porch where Robbie and I had a moment, months ago, when he had saved me from a riot at a seedy club and drove me home. It was the right place to be having another one, and Robbie probably knew that when he asked me out.

His face lit up as I kind of said yes. He was about to say something else, but it got drowned out as a car screeched to a halt right in front of us.

Quin and Diego practically leaped from the car. If they were that coordinated on the basketball court, we'd win more games.

"Robbie, Coach is looking for you," Quin said. That was all it took for regular mortal boy to stand up, wave goodbye to me, and leave me alone with my two gods.

"Hannah?" Quin's face hovered above mine, and it was full of concern.

"What did he do to her?" Diego paced in the background, entering and leaving my peripheral vision.

"Nothing, if you had just stayed with her." Quin was talking to Diego but concentrating on something else, like he was pulling light out of the sky, and it formed into a ball in his hand. I couldn't help but stare at the glowy thing, and then it kind of exploded in my face.

I squealed, and jumped, half expecting something to feel a burn. Instead I landed right into Quin's arms, and my mind felt free and clear.

"What just happened?" I asked. (And let me just say, Quin's embrace felt exactly like it did in my goddess dreams. Not that I was sure it was him there with me.)

"I already told you how it happened."

"Tell me again."

"I said hi to Neil. And then he said hi. And then he shook my hand. And then everything sort of faded to white, but only for a second. I think we... We were talking, and then Robbie dropped by, and asked if he could walk me home, and now we're probably going to this restaurant that serves peanut butter spaghetti. That was real, right? Because that just sounds weird now."

I was trying to recall if Diego had ever been here at the house before. Tita Carmen greeted him with less warmth than what Quin usually got. Diego didn't even sit down; he was standing by the living room window the entire time, and even said no to my aunt's offer of cupcakes. I thought that was rude.

"It's the handshake," he said.

Quin, sitting across the table from me, kept his eyes on my face the entire time. I noticed. It was a bit intense. "Of course it's the handshake, but how could he have done it at all? You were aware of everything that was happening?"

"Yes," I said. "Except, I kind of knew that I was also separate from it somehow. Like my goddess dreams."

"Goddess dreams?" Quin's voice perked up a tiny bit.

I coughed. "Yeah, I told you about the dreams, right?"

"Not in much detail."

Well yeah because of the PDA.
"It wasn't
like
the dreams, just the feeling of being in a dream."
Don't blush, don't blush.
"Like I was watching myself. And I had a plan, I was supposed to talk to him about some things, and I ended up not talking about them at all."

"Does he know you're a goddess now?"

"I don't think so. I haven't even told Sol."

"Coffee, Quin?" said Tita Carmen, from the kitchen.

"Yes, Tita, also for Diego please," Quin answered.

"So is he one of us?" I asked, nearly whispering. "One of you, I mean? Who else could have messed with my head like that, right?"

Quin shook his head. "If one of the other gods showed up here, we would have known."

"Maybe he's good at hiding."

Quin didn't buy that. "None of us can hide from one another."

Diego shook his head. "You
'd like to think so."

Tita Carmen, a more petite version of my mother, arrived with a tray that
had three mugs. We were silent as she served each of us. I couldn't wait until she left, because I wanted to hear Quin and Diego argue again. I was learning a lot more from it than a regular training day.

Quin remained silent though, just watching as Tita Carmen returned to the kitchen. He stirred, maybe to speak, but instead tapped my wrist. Reassuring, but not informative.

So I spoke up. "Maybe he's a new guy? Because it's possible, right? If you could make me into a goddess..."

"He is
not
a new god," Quin said, as if the very idea were crazy.

"Well he's something." Diego straightened up, ready to go. "I'll find out what."

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Nothing," Quin said. "Stay away from him."

"But if he's a dangerous new god I have to keep him away from Sol—"

"Hannah, stop it. You can't do anything about this. You're going to have to let me handle it. And he is not a new god, absolutely no way, because if he were he wouldn't have been able to overpower you. You would be a generation above him. That's just how it works."

Does it?
I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't wind up arguing.
Because you broke the rules already when you brought me along for this ride. You mean no one else can do the same?

Peanut butter spaghetti sounded like something I would like, in theory. I liked peanut butter. I liked Filipino-style spaghetti, especially when it was unapologetically sweet and artificially red, with foreign elements like hotdogs thrown in. But now that I was chewing the mashup version, I wasn't sure how to feel about the entire thing.

"Do you like it?" I asked dinner companion/date Robbie, who was chewing thoughtfully over on his side of the table too.

"Oh I do," he said. "I'm just waiting for you to throw up, or something."

"I'm fine," I said super enthusiastically. "I don't hate it... It's just..."

"I get it."

"I haven't decided yet." I didn't want to be a whiner on my first date, ever.

Not that he ever said the word. And I wasn't saying it either. But as far as I was concerned, it may as well be, since it had all the signs.

Weekend, no school or any school activity.

He picked me up from my
tita
's house.

I wasn't wearing flip flops or sneakers.

He paid for the meal.

The fifth sign?
He
thought this was a date. He was thinking about it so much, I could hear it between chews.

It was probably why I wasn't nervous at all on this momentous occasion. It kind of boosted the ego, knowing exactly how much he liked me. It was a relief too, after being friends with Quin for a year and not knowing why he was hanging out with me, what his intentions were.

On the other hand, regarding Robbie, all his intentions were being beamed right into my ear:

She looks perfect.

I want to kiss her.

I wonder if she'll let me have her leftover spaghetti.

Transparent as the ice water in my glass. It was comforting. Some of his thoughts were kind of weird, but overall, comforting.

It just occurred to me that, if I stayed Goddess of Love all my life, I wouldn't need to be nervous at a date ever again.

"Did you audition for the reality show?" he asked, because his brain prodded him to say something.

"Of course not."

"What do you mean, of course not? You'd be great at it."

"A camera crew wouldn't want to follow
me
around. I'm sure they'd get a queen bee like Vida anyway."

"No they didn't. I can't believe you don't know this yet! They got Kathy Martin."

"As in Kathy Martin my friend?"

One thing I should say about the celebrity culture o
f our small school: Vida Castillo, senior, was as good as royalty as we got on a daily basis. Kathy Martin, on the other hand, was practically invisible. At least, she was a shy and pleasant person who didn't really stand out, when I first met her. Except that, last year, she seemed to have come out of her shell and got herself noticed by several guys, one of whom started sending her gifts anonymously. Turned out it was Jake, a cute guy in our class, and they were dating exclusively right now.

I kind of helped them out there.

But the main thing was? Good for Kathy. Not invisible after all.

"Vida auditioned, but they didn't get her," Robbie said.

"Wow," I said. "She must be pissed about that."

Robbie gave me the dirt
about how he saw Vida storm into the gym and yell at Quin. "It's just a television show," Quin had said. Which of course made her turn into a shade of red and she made just as loud and angry an exit. You'd think that Vida would act with more subtlety, but I guess she thought of the world—especially a small college like Ford River—as her playground. We didn't deserve common courtesy.

"Why would Quin have anything to do with it though?" Robbie wondered. His confusion was understandable; he didn't know his friends were gods. To him, they were probably just acting strange.

"He's not very exciting," I offered. "He wouldn't understand why being on TV would matter to anyone."

"How long have you two been friends?"

The question was perfectly casual, but something in his tone just completely changed.

He was nervous.

Don't say he's an ex don't say he's an ex
bounced around his head.

"Just a year or so," I said, and I sounded perfectly casual too.
"He just needed my help with, um, a project."

"I just noticed you two are really close," he added. "He comes over your house often, right?"

"Homework."

"But he's a senior. You help a senior with his homework?"

I coughed. "He's a bit slow. His English grammar kind of sucks."

You help with homework e
very day?
was the next thought in Robbie's mind, so quickly that it felt like a slap.

Before I knew it, I had reached across the table and taken his hand. My fingers wrapped around his, and I smiled.

Relax
, and it was a message from my mind to his, bypassing my lips entirely.
You have nothing to worry about.

(Because Quin wasn't a threat, or because Robbie had no chance against him so why bother worrying?
Hannah, don't be mean.)

It had an effect, instantly. Not that the worry went away, but I had distracted it with the equivalent of something shiny. Robbie's mind cleared up.

Now why couldn't I have done that to Sol, and that easily?

Quin would have been so proud of me.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just wondering why he needs so much tutoring," Robbie said. "He's been hanging out with that cute young teacher lately too. But the guys at the team don't think she's helping him study. If you know what I mean."

Wait a freaking second.

"What?"