Quicksilver (45 page)

“For you, sir, such an adventure might be possible. For me, it can never be anything more than a romance,” Daniel said. “Until now, I’ve always done what I
had
to, and this went along very well
with the Predestination that was taught me. But now I may have choices to make, and they are choices of a
practical
nature.”

“Whatever acts, cannot be destroyed,” said the Doctor.

Daniel went out the door of the coffee-house and walked up and down London for the rest of the day. He was a bit like a comet, ranging outwards in vast loops, but continually drawn back toward certain fixed poles: Gresham’s College, Waterhouse Square, Cromwell’s head, and the ruin of St. Paul’s.

Hooke was a greater Natural Philosopher than he, but Hooke was busy rebuilding the city, and half-deranged with imaginary intrigues. Newton was also greater, but he was lost in Alchemy and poring over the Book of Revelation. Daniel had supposed that there might be an opportunity to slip between those two giants and make a name for himself. But now there was a
third
giant. A giant who, like the others, was distracted by the loss of his patron, and dreams of a free Commonwealth in Asia. But he would not be distracted forever.

It was funny in a painful way. God had given him the desire to be a great Natural Philosopher—then put him on earth in the midst of Newton, Hooke, and Leibniz.

Daniel had the training to be a minister, and the connections to find a nice congregation in England or Massachusetts. He could walk into that career as easily as he walked into a coffee-house. But his ramble kept bringing him back to the vast ruin of St. Paul’s—a corpse in the middle of a gay dinner-party—and not just because it was centrally located.

NOVEMBER
1713

These in thir dark Nativitie the Deep

Shall yield us pregnant with infernal flame,

Which into hallow Engins long and round

Thick-rammed, at th’ other bore with touch of fire

Dilated and infuriate shall send forth

From far with thundring noise among our foes

Such implements of mischief as shall dash

To pieces, and oerwhelm whatever stands

Adverse, that they shall fear we have disarmd

The Thunderer of his only dreaded bolt.

—M
ILTON
,
Paradise Lost

S
NATCHING A FEW MINUTES’ REST
in his cabin between engagements, Daniel’s mood is grave. It is the solemnity, not of a man who’s involved in a project to kill other men (they’ve been doing that all day, for Christ’s sake!), but of one who’s gambling his own life on certain outcomes. Or having it gambled
for
him by a Captain who shows signs of—what’s a diplomatic way to put it—having a rich and complicated inner life. Of course, whenever you board ship you put your life in the Captain’s hands—
but
—

Someone is
laughing
up there on the poop deck. The gaiety clashes with Daniel’s somber mood and annoys him. It’s a derisive and somewhat cruel laugh, but not without sincere merriment. Daniel’s looking about for something hard and massive to thump on the ceiling when he realizes it’s van Hoek, and what has him all in a lather is some sort of technical Dutch concept—the
Zog.

Trundling noises from the upperdeck,
^*
and all of a sudden
Minerva
’s a different ship: heeling over quite a bit more than she was, but also rolling from side much more ponderously. Daniel infers that a momentous shifting of weights has occurred. Getting up, and going back out on the quarterdeck, he sees it’s true: there are several short bulbous carronnades here—nothing more or less than multi-ton blunderbusses, with large-bore, short-range, miserable accuracy. But (not to put too fine a point on it) large bores, into which gunners are shoveling all manner of messy ironmongery: pairs of cannonballs chained together, nails, redundant crowbars, clusters of grapeshot piled on sabots and tied together with ostentatiously clever sailors’ knots. Once loaded, the carronnades are being run out to the gunwales—hugely increasing the ship’s moment of inertia, accounting for the change in the roll period—

“Calculating our odds, Dr. Waterhouse?” Dappa inquires, descending a steep stair from the poop deck.

“What means
Zog,
Dappa, and why’s it funny?”

Dappa gets an alert look about him as if it isn’t funny at all, and points across half a mile of open water toward a schooner flying a black flag with a white hourglass. The schooner is on the weather bow
^*
parallelling their course but obviously hoping to converge, and grapple, with
Minerva
in the near future. “See how miserably they make headway? We are outpacing them, even though we haven’t raised the mainsail.”

“Yes—I was going to inquire—
why
haven’t we raised it? It
is
the largest sail on the ship, and we
are
trying to go fast, are we not?”

“The mainsail is traditionally raised and worked by the gunners.
Not
raising it will make Teach think we are short-handed in that area, and unable to man all our cannon at one time.”

“But wouldn’t it be worthwhile to tip our hand, if we could outrun that schooner?”

“We’ll outrun her
anyway.
”

“But she
wants
us to draw abeam of her, does she not—that is the entire
point
of being a pirate—so perhaps she has thrown out drogues, and that is why she wallows along so pitiably.”

“She doesn’t
need
to throw out drogues because of her appalling
Zog.
”

“There it is again—what, I ask, is the meaning of that word?”

“Her wake, look at her wake!” Dappa says, waving his arm angrily.

“Yes—now that we are so, er, unsettlingly close, I can see that her wake’s enough to capsize a whaleboat.”

“Those damned pirates have loaded so many cannon aboard, she rides far too low in the water, and so she’s got a great ugly
Zog.
”

“Is this meant to reassure me?”

“It is meant to answer your question.”

“
Zog
is Dutch for ‘wake,’ then?”

Dappa the linguist smiles yes. Half his teeth are white, the others made of gold. “And a much better word it is, because it comes from
zuigen
which means ‘to suck.’”

“I don’t follow.”

“Any seaman will tell you that a ship’s wake sucks on her stern, holding her back—the bigger the wake, the greater the suck, and the slower the progress. That schooner, Doctor Waterhouse, sucks.”

Angry words from van Hoek above—Dappa scurries down to the upperdeck to finish whatever errand Daniel interrupted. Daniel follows him, then goes aft, skirts the capstan, and descends a narrow staircase to the aftmost part of the gundeck. Thence he
enters the room at the stern where he’s been in the habit of taking his temperature measurements. He commences a perilous traversal of the room, headed towards that bank of undershot windows. To a landlubber the room would look pleasingly spacious, to Daniel it appears desperately short of handholds—meaning that as the ship rolls, Daniel stumbles for a greater distance, and builds up more speed, before colliding with anything big enough to stop him. In any case, he gets to the windows and looks down into
Minerva
’s
Zog.
She has one, to be sure, but compared to that schooner to windward,
Minerva
hardly sucks at all. The Bernoullis would have a field day with this—

There is also a pirate-ketch converging on them from leeward, in much the same way as the schooner is doing from windward, and Daniel is fairly certain that this ketch doesn’t suck much at all. He is certain he saw drogues trailing behind her.
Minerva
is lying dead upon the wind, which is to say, she’s as close-hauled as possible—she can fall off to leeward but she cannot turn into the wind any farther. Since the ketch is to leeward—downwind of
Minerva
—falling away from the wind will send
Minerva
straight into the musket-fire and grappling-irons that are no doubt being readied on her decks and fighting-tops. But the ketch, being fore-and-aft rigged, can sail closer to the wind anyway. So even if
Minerva
holds her course, the ketch will be able to cut her off—driving her into the sucking (because heavily armed) schooner.

All of which goes to explain Daniel’s second reason for having gone to this room: it’s as far from the fighting as he can get without jumping overboard. But he does not find the solace he wants, because from here he can see two
additional
pirate-ships gaining on them from astern, and they seem bigger and better than any of the others.

An explosion, then another, then a lot of them at once—obviously something organized. Daniel’s still alive,
Minerva
’s still afloat. He flings open the door to the gundeck but it’s dark and quiet, the gunners all convened around the cannons on the larboard side—none of which has been fired. It must have been those carronnades on the upperdeck firing their loads of junk.

Daniel turns round and looks out the window to see the ketch being left behind, fine on the lee quarter.
^*
It is no longer recognizable as a ketch, though—just a hull heaped with tangled, slack rigging and freshly splintered blond wood. One of her guns sparks and something terrible comes out of it, directly towards him—big
and spreading. He begins to fall down, more out of vertigo than any coherent plan. All the glass in all those windows explodes toward him, driven on a wall of buckshot. Only some of it hits him in the face, and none in the eyes—more luck than a natural philosopher can comfortably account for.

The door’s been flung open again, either by the blast of shot or by his falling back into it, so half of him is lying on the gundeck now. Suddenly, radiance warms his tightly closed eyelids. It could be a choir of angels, or a squadron of flaming devils, but he doesn’t believe in any of that stuff. Or it could be
Minerva
’s powder magazine exploding—but that would involve loud noises, and the only noises he hears are the creaking and grumbling of gun-carriages being hauled forward. There’s a refreshing sea breeze in his nostrils. He takes a big risk and opens his eyes.

All of the gunports on the larboard side have been opened at once, and all of the cannon rolled out. Gunners are hauling on blocks and tackles, slewing their weapons this way or that—others levering the guns’ butts up with crowbars and hammering wedges underneath—there are, in short, as many feverish preparations as for a royal wedding. Then fire is brought out, the roll of the ship carefully timed, and Daniel—poor Daniel doesn’t think to put his hands over his ears. He hears one or two cannon-blasts before going deaf. Then it’s just one four-ton iron tube after another jerking backwards as lightly as shuttlecocks.

He is fairly certain that he is dead now.

Other dead men are around him.

They are lying on the upperdeck.

A couple of sailors are sitting on Daniel’s corpse, while another tortures his deceased flesh with a needle. Sewing his dismembered parts back on, closing up the breaches in his abdomen so stuff won’t leak out. So
this
is what it felt like to have been a stray dog in the clutches of the Royal Society!

As Daniel is lying flat on his back, his view is mostly skywards, though if he turns his head—an astonishing feat, for a dead man—he can see van Hoek up on the poop deck bellowing through his trumpet—which is aimed nearly straight down over the rail.

“What on earth can he be shouting at?” Daniel asks.

“Apologies, Doctor, didn’t know you’d come awake,” says a Looming Column of Shadow, speaking in Dappa’s voice, and stepping back to block the sun from Daniel’s face. “He’s parleying with certain pirates who rowed out from Teach’s flagship under a flag of truce.”

“What do they want?”

“They want you, Doctor.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re thinking too hard—there’s naught
to
understand—it is entirely simple,” Dappa says. “They rowed up and said, ‘Give us Dr. Waterhouse and all is forgotten.’”

Dr. Waterhouse now ought to spend a long time being dumbstruck. But his stupefaction lasts only a little while. The sensation of nubby silk thread being drawn briskly through fresh holes in his flesh, makes serious reflection all but impossible. “You’ll do it—of course,” is the best he can come up with.

“Any other captain would—but whoever arranged to put you aboard, must’ve known about Captain van Hoek’s feelings concerning pirates. Behold!” and Dappa steps out of the way to give Daniel an unobstructed view of a sight stranger than anything gawkers would pay to view at St. Bartholomew’s Fair: a hammer-handed man climbing up into the rigging of a ship. That is to say that one of his arms is terminated, not by a hand, and not by a hook, but by an actual hammer. Van Hoek ascends to a suitably perilous altitude, up there alongside the colors that fly from the mizzenmast: a Dutch flag, and below it, a smaller one depicting the Ægis. After getting himself securely tangled in the shrouds—weaving limbs through rope so that his body is spliced into the rigging—he begins to pluck nails out of his mouth and drive them through the hem of each flag into the wood of the mast.

It seems, now, that every sailor who’s not sitting on Daniel is up in the rigging, unfurling a ludicrously vast array of sails. Daniel notes with approval that the mainsail’s finally been hoisted—that charade is over. And now moreover
Minerva
’s height is being miraculously increased as the topmasts are telescoped upwards. An asymptotic progression of smaller and smaller trapezoids spreads out upon their frail-seeming yards.

“It’s a glorious gesture for the Captain to make—now that he’s sunk half of Teach’s fleet,” Daniel says.

“Aye, Doctor—but not the better half,” Dappa says.

1673

A fifth doctrine, that tendeth to the dissolution of a commonwealth, is,
that every private man has an absolute propriety in his goods; such, as excludeth the right of the sovereign.

—H
OBBES
,
Leviathan

D
ANIEL HAD NEVER
been an actor on a stage, of course, but when he went to plays at Roger Comstock’s theatre—especially when he saw them for the fifth or sixth time—he was struck by the sheer oddity of these men (and women!) standing about on a platform prating the words of a script for the hundredth time and trying to behave as if hundreds of persons weren’t a few yards away goggling at them. It was strangely mannered, hollow, and false, and all who took part in it secretly wanted to strike the show and move on to something new. Thus London during this the Third Dutch War, waiting for news of the Fall of Holland.

As they waited, they had to content themselves with such smaller bits of news as from time to time percolated in from the sea. All London passed these rumors around and put on a great pompous show of reacting to them, as actors observe a battle or storm said to be taking place off-stage.

Queerly—or perhaps not—the only solace for most Londoners was going to the theatre, where they could sit together in darkness and watch their own behavior reflected back to them.
Once More into the Breeches
had become very popular since its Trinity College debut. It had to be performed in Roger Comstock’s theatre after its first and second homes were set on fire owing to lapses in judgment on the part of the pyrotechnicians. Daniel’s job was to simulate lightning-flashes, thunderbolts, and the accidental detonation of Lord Brimstone without burning down Roger’s investment. He invented a new thunder-engine, consisting of a cannonball rolling down a Spiral of Archimedes in a wooden barrel, and he abused his privileges at the world’s leading alchemical research facility to formulate a new variant of gunpowder that made more flash and
less bang. The pyrotechnics lasted for a few minutes, at the beginning of the play. The rest of the time he got to sit backstage and watch Tess, who always dazzled him like a fistful of flash-powder going off right in the face, and made his heart feel like a dented cannonball tumbling down an endless hollow Screw. King Charles came frequently to watch his Nellie sing her pretty songs, and so Daniel took some comfort—or amusement at least—in knowing that he and the King both endured this endless Wait in the same way: gazing at the cheeks of pretty girls.

The small bits of news that
did
come in, while they waited for the
big
one, took various forms at first, but as the war went on they seemed to consist mostly of death-notices. It was not quite like living in London during the Plague; but more than once, Daniel had to choose between two funerals going on at the same hour. Wilkins had been the first. Many more followed, as if the Bishop of Chester had launched a fad.

Richard Comstock, the eldest son of John, and the model for the stalwart if dim Eugene Stopcock in
Breeches,
was on a ship that was part of a fleet that fell under the guns of Admiral de Ruyter at Sole Bay. Along with thousands of other Englishmen, he went to David Jones’s Locker. Many of the survivors could now be seen hobbling round London on bloody stumps, or rattling cups on street-corners. Daniel was startled to receive an invitation to the funeral. Not from John, of course, but from Charles, who had been John’s fourth son and was now the only one left (the other two had died young of smallpox). After his stint as laboratory assistant during the Plague Year at Epsom, Charles had matriculated at Cambridge, where he’d been tutored by Daniel. He had been well on his way to being a competent Natural Philosopher. But now he was the scion of a great family, and never could be aught else, unless the family ceased to be great, or he ceased being a part of it.

John Comstock got up in front of the church and said, “The Hollander exceeds us in industry, and in all things else, but envy.”

King Charles shut down the Exchequer one day, which is to say that he admitted that the country was out of money, and that not only could the Crown not repay its debts, but it couldn’t even pay
interest
on them. Within a week, Daniel’s uncle, Thomas Ham, Viscount Walbrook, was dead—of a broken heart or suicide, no one save Aunt Mayflower knew—but it scarcely made a difference. This led to the most theatrickal of all the scenes Daniel witnessed in London that year (with the possible exception of the re-enactment of the Siege of Maestricht): the opening of the Crypt.

Thomas Ham’s reliable basement had been sealed up by court officials immediately upon the death of its proprietor, and musketeers had been posted all round to prevent Ham’s depositors (who had, in recent weeks, formed a small muttering knot that never went away, loitering outside; as others held up libels depicting the atrocities of King Looie’s army in Holland, so these held up Goldsmiths’s Notes addressed to Thomas Ham) from breaking in and claiming their various plates, candlesticks, and guineas. Legal maneuverings began, and continued round the clock, casting a queer shadow over Uncle Thomas’s funeral, and stretching beyond it to two days, then three. The cellar’s owner was already in the grave, his chief associates mysteriously unfindable, and rumored to be in Dunkirk trying to buy passage to Brazil with crumpled golden punch-bowls and gravy-boats. But those were rumors. The
facts
were in the famously safe and sturdy Ham Bros. Cellar on Threadneedle.

This was finally unsealed by a squadron of Lords and Justices, escorted by musketeers, and duly witnessed by Raleigh, Sterling, and Daniel Waterhouse; Sir Richard Apthorp; and various stately and important Others. It was three days exactly since King Charles had washed his hands of the royal debts and Thomas Ham had met his personal Calvary at the hands of the Exchequer. That statistic was noted by Sterling Waterhouse—as always, noticer of details
par excellence.
As the crowd of Great and Good Men shuffled up the steps of Ham House, he muttered to Daniel: “I wonder if we shall roll the stone aside and find an empty tomb?”

Daniel was appalled by this dual sacrilege—then reflected that as he was now practically living in a theatre and mooning over an actress every night, he could scarcely criticize Sterling for making a jest.

It turned out not to be a jest. The cellar was empty.

Well—not empty. It was full, now, of speechless men, standing flatfooted on the Roman mosaic.

R
ALEIGH
: “I knew it would be bad. But—my God—there’s not even a
potatoe.
”

S
TERLING
: “It is a sort of anti-miracle.”

L
ORD
H
IGH
C
HANCELLOR OF THE
R
EALM
: “Go up and tell the musketeers to go and get more musketeers.”

They all stood there for quite a while. Attempts to make conversation flared sporadically all round the cellar and fizzled like flashes in damp pans. Except—strangely—among Waterhouses. Disaster had made them convivial.

R
ALEIGH
: “Our newest tenant informs me you’ve decided to turn architect, Daniel.”

S
TERLING
: “We thought you were going to be a savant.”

D
ANIEL
: “All the other savants are doing it. Just the other day, Hooke figured out how arches work.”

S
TERLING
: “I should have thought that was
known
by now.”

R
ALEIGH
: “Do you mean to say all existing arches have been built on
guesswork
?”

S
IR
R
ICHARD
A
PTHORP
: “Arches—and Financial Institutions.”

D
ANIEL
: “Christopher Wren is going to re-design all the arches in St. Paul’s, now that Hooke has explained them.”

S
TERLING
: “Good! Maybe the
new
one won’t become all bow-legged and down-at-heels, as the old one did.”

R
ALEIGH
: “I say, brother Daniel—don’t you have some
drawings
to show us?”

D
ANIEL
: “Drawings?”

R
ALEIGH
: “In the w’drawing room, perhaps?”

Which was a bad pun and a cryptickal sign, from Raleigh the patriarch (fifty-five years comically aged, to Daniel’s eyes seeming like a young Raleigh dressed up in rich old man’s clothes and stage-makeup), that they were all supposed to Withdraw from the cellar. So they did, and Sir Richard Apthorp came with them. They wound up on the upper floor of Ham House, in a bedchamber—the very same one that Daniel had gazed into from his perch atop Gresham’s College. A rock had already come in through a window and was sitting anomalously in the middle of a rug, surrounded by polygons of glass. More were beginning to thud against the walls, so Daniel swung the windows open to preserve the glazing. Then they all retreated to the center of the room and perched up on the bed and watched the stones come in.

S
TERLING
: “Speaking of Guineas, or lack thereof—shame about the Guinea Company, what?”

A
PTHORP
: “Pfft! ’Twas like one of your brother’s theatrickal powder-squibs. Sold my shares of it long ago.”

S
TERLING
: “What of you, Raleigh?”

R
ALEIGH
: “They owe me money, is all.”

A
PTHORP
: “You’ll get eight shillings on the pound.”

R
ALEIGH
: “An outrage—but better than what Thomas Ham’s depositors will get.”

D
ANIEL
: “Poor Mayflower!”

R
ALEIGH
: “She and young William are moving in with me anon—and so you’ll have to seek other lodgings, Daniel.”

S
TERLING
: “What fool is buying the Guinea Company’s debts?”

A
PTHORP
: “James, Duke of York.”

S
TERLING
: “As I said—what dauntless hero is,
et cetera…
”

D
ANIEL
: “But that’s nonsense! They are
his own
debts!”

A
PTHORP
: “They are the Guinea Company’s debts. But he is winding up the Guinea Company and creating a new Royal Africa Company. He’s to be the governor and chief shareholder.”

R
ALEIGH
: “What, sinking our Navy and making us slaves to Popery is not sufficient—he’s got to enslave all the Neegers, too?”

S
TERLING
: “Brother, you sound more like Drake every day.”

R
ALEIGH
: “Being surrounded by an armed mob must be the cause of sounding that way.”

A
PTHORP
: “The Duke of York has resigned the Admiralty…”

R
ALEIGH
: “As there’s nothing left to be Admiral
of…
”

A
PTHORP
: “And is going to marry that nice Catholic girl
^*
and compose his African affairs.”

S
TERLING
: “Sir Richard, this must be one of those things that you know before anyone else does, or else there would be rioters in the streets.”

R
ALEIGH
: “There
are,
you pea-wit, and unless I’m having a Drakish vision, they have set fire to this very house.”

S
TERLING
: “I meant they’d be rioting ’gainst the Duke, not our late bro-in-law.”

D
ANIEL
: “I personally witnessed a sort of riot ’gainst the Duke the other day—but it was about his religious, not his military, political, or commercial shortcomings.”

S
TERLING
: “You left out ‘intellectual and moral.’”

D
ANIEL
: “I was trying to be concise—as we are getting a bit short of that spiritous essence, found in
fresh
air, for which fire competes with living animals.”

R
ALEIGH
: “The Duke of York! What bootlicking courtier was responsible for naming New York after him? ’Tis a perfectly acceptable
city.
”

D
ANIEL
: “If I may change the subject…the reason I led us to this room was yonder
ladder
, which in addition to being an excellent Play Structure for William Ham, will also convey us to the roof—where it’s neither so hot nor so smoky.”

S
TERLING
: “Daniel, never mind what people say about you—you always have your
reasons.
”

[Now a serio-comical musical interlude: the brothers Water-house break into a shouted, hoarse (because of smoke) rendition of a Puritan hymn about climbing Jacob’s Ladder.]

S
CENE
: The rooftops of Threadneedle Street. Shouts, shattering of glass, musket-shots heard from below. They gather round the mighty Ham-chimney, which is now venting smoke of burning walls and furniture below.

S
IR
R
ICHARD
A
PTHORP
: “How inspiring, Daniel, to gaze down the widened and straightened prospect of Cheapside and know that St. Paul’s will be rebuilt there anon—’pon
mathematick
principles—so that it’s likely to
stay up
for a bit.”

S
TERLING
: “Sir Richard, you sound ominously like a
preacher
opening his sermon with a commonplace observation that is soon to become one leg of a tedious and strained
analogy.
”

A
PTHORP
: “Or, if you please, one leg of an arch—the other to be planted, oh, about
here.
”

R
ALEIGH
: “You want to build, what, some sort of triumphal arch, spanning that distance? May I remind you that
first
we want some sort of
triumph
!?”

A
PTHORP
: “It is only a similitude. What Christopher Wren means to do
yonder
in the way of a Church, I mean to do
here
with a
Banca.
And as Wren will use Hooke’s principles to build that Church soundly, I’ll use modern means to devise a
Banca
that—without in any way impugning your late brother-in-law’s illustrious record—will not have armed mobs in front of it burning it down.”