Quinn (16 page)

He could feel the pain in every word, it reverberated within him. He desperately wanted to take it away, but there was no way to do it. All he could do was give her his warmth. His arms tightened around her. “Do you want to talk about her?”

“Not now. All I can think about is Fraser and what he said about her. It hurts, Joe. I can’t tell you how it hurts. It keeps twisting inside me. I want it to go away.”

He couldn’t even tell her the pain would get less. The loss of a child was eternal. “I’ll be here to share it with you. Always.”

“No … not fair. No one should … Go away, Joe. Not fair.”

“It’s fair, if I say it’s fair.” He was stroking her hair. “What’s a friend for?” And what’s a lover, a guardian, a warrior to protect you, for? I have to be all things to you, Eve. Something crazy happened, and my whole world changed when you came into my life. “So be quiet and just let me hold you.”

“I want it to go away. I don’t think I can stand…”

That was one of the things he’d feared when he’d known what Eve was going to have to face. “You can stand anything. You’re tough.” His hand was gentle on her hair. “Give it time. The state’s going to kill that bastard, then some of the—”

“They can’t kill him. I have to know where he buried Bonnie. I can’t let them do it.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“He said to come back, and he might tell me.”

“And put you through this torture again? No way.”

“I can take it. I have to take it.”

“I said you were tough. I didn’t say you were invincible.”

“I’ll find a way to block it out. I have to make him tell me.”

“Eve…”

“You’ve never had a child, Joe. You don’t know how important it is for me to bring her home. I can’t leave her out there alone. Every night of her life, I tucked her into her bed, sang to her and kissed her good night. She was safe, she was home, she knew she was surrounded by love. Now I have to tuck her in one final time. I have to surround her with my love. I think wherever she is that she’ll know it.” Her voice was hoarse. “I have to … bring her home.”

Oh, God in heaven. What could he say? What could he do?

“We don’t have a weapon to use against Fraser, Eve. He knows he’s going to be convicted of one of those killings. It’s just a choice which case the state is going to choose to prosecute. But the bastard has a weapon he can use to hurt you, and he’ll do it.”

“I have to try. It’s not only Bonnie. It’s all those other lost children, too. If I go there often enough, he may get cocky and let something slip. I have to try.”

He couldn’t make the attempt to talk her out of it. Not right now.

She lay there silent for a long time. “Your cheek is damp, Joe. I feel it.” She reached up and touched his lashes. “Are you crying for my Bonnie?”

“Yes, and for you.” He cleared his throat. “It wouldn’t hurt you to do a little crying yourself. It might help.”

“I can’t cry. I can feel all the tears in a tight little ball deep inside me, but they won’t come out. Maybe later … After I’ve brought Bonnie home.”

“Then I’ll cry for you.”

“Will you do that?” She cuddled closer to him, her cheek in the hollow of his shoulder. “You’re so good to me. Maybe Bonnie will know that, too. She was so special, so full of love. I wish she’d known you, Joe…”

For an instant, he could almost see how different their lives would have been if tragedy had not entered it. An Eve vital and smiling, the child, Bonnie, who would love Joe as well as her mother. The image was bittersweet, but he would not push it away. That was neither their life nor their future, but he would work with what he had. He’d drain every bit of joy and happiness around them that he could to make it a good life, create a shelter and a haven for them.

His lips gently brushed her forehead. “I wish I’d known your Bonnie, too, Eve.”

Diagnostic Classification Facility
Jackson, Georgia
January 27
11:55
P.M.

IT WAS GOING
TO HAPPEN.

Oh, God, don’t let it happen.

“Lost. She’ll be lost. They’ll all be lost,” Eve said.

“Come away, Eve. You don’t want to be here.” Joe tried to hold the huge black umbrella over her. “There’s nothing you can do. He’s had two stays of execution already. The governor’s not going to do it again. There was too much public outcry the last time.”

“He’s got to do it.” Her face was white and strained, her expression frantic. “I want to talk to the warden.”

Joe shook his head. “He won’t see you.”

“He saw me before. He called the governor. I’ve got to see him. He understood about—”

“Let me take you to your car. It’s freezing out here, and you’re getting soaked.”

She shook her head, her gaze fixed desperately on the prison gate. “You talk to him. You’re with the FBI. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

“It’s too late, Eve.” He once more tried to draw her under the umbrella, but she stepped away from him. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“
You
came.” She gestured to the horde of newspaper and media people gathered at the gate. “
They
came. Who has a better right to be here than me.” Sobs were choking her, but there were no tears. She hadn’t shed one tear all the time that Fraser had gone through his trials and appeals. Joe had prayed that she would cry and gain at least a little release from the terrible tension. But she had never broken down through all the agony. “I have to stop it. I have to make them see that they can’t—”

“You crazy bitch.” A man jerked Eve around to face him. He was in his early forties, and his features were twisted with pain and tears were running down his cheeks. Bill Verner, Joe realized. His son was one of the lost ones.

“Stay out of it.” Verner’s hands dug into her shoulders. He shook her. “Let them kill him. You’ve already caused us too much grief, and now you’re trying to get him off again. Damn you, let them burn the son of a bitch.”

“I can’t do— Can’t you see? They’re lost. I have to—”

“You stay out of it, or so help me God, I’ll make you sorry that you—”

“Leave her alone.” Joe stepped forward and knocked Verner’s hands away from Eve. “Don’t you see she’s hurting more than you are?” All those months of torture and torment Fraser had put her through had been enough to drive a less strong woman mad. And still, in the end, Fraser would not tell her where he’d buried Bonnie.

“The hell she is. He killed my boy. I won’t let her try to get him off again.”

“Do you think I don’t want him to die?” she said fiercely. “He’s a monster. I want to kill him myself, but I can’t let him—There’s no time for this argument.” She was suddenly frantic again. “There’s no time for anything. It must be almost midnight. They’re going to kill him. And Bonnie will be lost forever.”

She whirled away from Verner and ran toward the gate.

“Eve!” Joe ran after her.

She pounded on the gate with clenched fists. “Let me in! You’ve got to let me in. Please don’t do this.”

Flashbulbs.

The prison guards were coming toward them.

Joe was trying to pull her away from the gate.

The gate was opening.

The warden was coming out.

“Stop it,” Eve gasped. “You’ve got to stop—”

The warden gave her a sympathetic glance. “Go home, Ms. Duncan. It’s over.” He walked past her toward the TV cameras.

“Over. It can’t be over.”

The warden was looking soberly into the cameras, and his words were brief and to the point. “There was no stay of execution. Ralph Andrew Fraser was executed four minutes ago and pronounced dead at 12:07
A.M.
”

“No!”

Eve’s scream was full of agony and desolation, as broken and forsaken as the wail of a lost child.

Joe caught her as her knees buckled, and she slumped forward in a dead faint.

He turned and carried her quickly toward the parking lot, his eyes never leaving her face. Even unconscious, her features were frozen in agony.

But, as he watched, two tears brimmed and slowly rolled down her cheeks. The tears she had not been able to shed for her Bonnie. Was it the start of healing?

God, he hoped so.

“Sir.” A guard had followed him. “Is there something I can do? May I help you?”

“No.” He looked down at Eve, and suddenly the love was flowing over him in such a powerful tide that it was spiraling, cresting, filling him with hope. “We’ll get along fine. You can’t help.” His arms tightened around Eve as he started across the dark parking lot. “She’s
mine.
”

CHAPTER

9

St. Joseph’s Hospital
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Present Day

MINE
 …

All through the years. Always mine …

Even in the glowing soft darkness that was trying to take him away from her, Joe could remember what had been and was feeling a wrenching sadness.

Eve …

But Eve was far away, and he could barely feel her now.

*   *   *

“THEN GO BACK TO HER.
She needs you.”

It was Bonnie. He could not see her, but the vision of her was there before him. A child, curly red hair and a smile that lit the darkness. Bonnie who had dominated his life since he had first known he loved Eve. He was not surprised to see her. What could be more natural than to have Bonnie here with him as he slipped away? It was not the first time he had seen the spirit of Eve’s daughter. When she had first come to him, he had thought he was going crazy, that the constant search had affected his reasoning. It had taken a long time before he had accepted that what he perceived as reality had an exception in the form of the ghost of Bonnie. It had not really affected his life with Eve, which was based on trying to find Bonnie, keeping Eve alive while she searched for her daughter, making life a gift instead of a burden through the long hunt.

“And you did all of that,” Bonnie said gently. “But it’s not over yet. Mama still needs you. Can’t you feel how she’s hurting?”

He could feel it. “I don’t think I can go back. You can stop it. She loves you.”

“But she loves you, too. And I love you, Joe.”

“Do you? There were times that I resented you. She wouldn’t let you go no matter how much it hurt her.”

“How could I not love you when you loved and cared for her? It didn’t matter what you felt about me. I knew you only wanted what was best for her. But you can’t leave her now, Joe. She’s going to need you more than ever soon.”

“Is she? Then I have to be there for her. But I don’t know if I can make it back.”

“You can make it. We’re walking together now, and now we have a destination. Can’t you see it?”

Eve.

And beyond her something else.

“The … end?”

“There’s no end in a circle, but there’s sometimes the loosening of a knot in the fabric. I guess you could call it the end. But she needs you to help her do it. We all need you, Joe.”

“Then I’ll be there. I’ll find my way.”

“No, take my hand. It will be easier for you.”

Somehow, she was clasping his hand, and he suddenly felt as if light was streaming through him, around him. “Dear God.”

“See, the darkness is going away. You can see her more clearly now. And you’re growing stronger, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“We’re almost there, Joe. Hold on. I won’t let you go. Just as you’ve never let her go.”

Brilliance. Radiance. Love.

His heart pounding with wild eagerness as he saw Eve at the window of the ICU.

I’m coming. Don’t be afraid. I’m coming, Eve.

“I’m letting you go, Joe,” Bonnie said. “For a little while. I’ll be with you again, but you don’t need me now, do you?”

“No.” He couldn’t look away from Eve’s face. Why had he thought that he could ever leave her? “It’s okay for you to go, Bonnie. I’ll take care of her now. After all, she’s mine.”

“No.” Bonnie smiled. “She’s ours, Joe.”

*   *   *

SHE WAS GONE BUT THE LINGERING
golden radiance was still keeping the darkness at bay.

And he couldn’t wait to dispel it entirely.

He opened his eyes.

And then he smiled at Eve.

*   *   *

JOE WAS SMILING
at her!

Eve could feel the tears running down her cheeks.

Good-bye? Surely not good-bye.

Bonnie had vanished only seconds before, and Eve had feared the worst. But there was a flush of color in Joe’s cheeks, and he was smiling.

“Oh, God, thank you.” She tore open the ICU door. “And thank you, baby.” She was at Joe’s bed in seconds. She took a deep breath. “Hi … took you long enough,” she said unsteadily. “No, don’t say anything. I just want to touch you.” She pressed the bell for the nurse. “I want to hold your hand.”

“So—did—she,” Joe whispered.

“Who?” She answered herself as she took his hand in both of hers. It wasn’t as warm as it usually was, but she could feel a faint pressure. He was alive and it was a miracle. The only miracle she knew had a name. “Bonnie?”

He nodded. “Bonnie.” His eyes closed. “I couldn’t—find my way back. She knew…”

“Yes, she knew.” Her clasp tightened. “Don’t talk anymore. I’ll let you go, but don’t you get lost again. Do you hear me?”

He nodded. “I hear…”

He was asleep again.

But the flush was still on his cheeks, and his hand was holding hers.

He was going to live.

The nurse was running into the room, a frown on her face.

They would tell Eve to go, and she would do it. She would put him in their hands to heal.

As Bonnie had surrendered him to Eve’s hands.

*   *   *

EVE SAW JANE GET OFF
the elevator as she left the ICU.

“Eve?” Jane was hurrying toward her, her face concerned. “You’re crying. You look … how’s Joe?”

She smiled shakily. “He’s going to be fine.”

“That’s what they told you? But Catherine said he could be dying.”

“Could doesn’t mean that’s going to happen.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “He’s taken a turn for the better. I just talked to him.”

“Thank God.” She took Eve in her arms and held her. “I was nearly frantic when you told me.”

“I thought it was the end.” Eve hugged Jane tighter. “He came so close, Jane.”

“But he’s tough. We both know that.” She released Eve and handed her a handkerchief. “You seem to be a little damp. I’m pretty close to a deluge myself. Dammit, you should have told me right away. Do you think I would have let you go through this alone?”

“It was enough for one of us to go through this.” Eve dabbed at her cheeks. “I told you when I thought I should.”

“Should you leave him? Can you go to the waiting room? I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

Eve looked back at Joe, who now had three nurses and an intern by his bed. “He won’t need me. They’re not going to let me near him until they figure out which of those brilliant doctors managed to save his life and turn him around.”

“And which one did?”

“None of them. They’d written him off. Joe did it on his own.” She paused. “With a little help.”

Jane stiffened. “Help?”

“He said Bonnie held his hand.” She glanced at Jane. “I think she did and showed him the way home.”

Jane didn’t answer for a moment. “I’m not going to argue with you. You know I have a few problems with the idea that Bonnie pays you visits, but if you tell me it’s true, then I accept it.” She glanced at her and smiled. “And if you tell me that she helped keep Joe alive, then I’ll jump up and down and shout hallelujah.”

“Don’t jump up and down. This is a hospital.” She smiled brilliantly. “But you can do it in the parking lot.”

Jane nodded. “Later.” She went to the coffee machine and pressed the button. She let her breath out in a long sigh. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am. I was so scared riding up in that elevator.”

“I’ve been scared for days. Since the moment Paul Black stabbed him, it’s been a nightmare.” She took the coffee that Jane handed her. “Catherine told you everything that happened?”

“In broad strokes.” She got a cup of coffee for herself and came back and sat down by Eve. “I got the gist of it. I was too on edge to cross-examine her. Though I think she’s probably not a good candidate for interrogation. She impressed me as being a very tough cookie.”

“She would have let you ask her anything. She’s a good friend to both Joe and me.” She took out her phone. “Which reminds me; I have to call her and tell her about Joe.”

“Even before you get the official news from the doctor?”

She made a face. “You’re right. Catherine is very practical. She always wants everything crossed and dotted. She’d run down here and have the doctors backed against a wall demanding guarantees.”

Jane’s brow rose. “But you still like her very much.”

“Very much. She’s as close as I’ve ever had to a woman friend.” She reached out and squeezed Jane’s arm. “Except you. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.” She lifted her cup to her lips. “Catherine’s at the Hyatt getting me settled.”

“You don’t have to get settled. You can go back to London if you like. Everything is going to be okay here.”

“Stop trying to get rid of me. Do you mind if I stay and be with you? I’ll go when Joe is better.”

Eve nodded. “I just wanted to give you the option.”

“You’re rushing me out of here, and you haven’t even heard that he’s definitely on the mend.”

“I’ve heard.” Eve took another sip of coffee. “Joe told me.”

“And no one with more authority.”

“Well, Bonnie told him, and who has more authority than that?”

“Impossible.” Jane chuckled. “But I’m so glad that you’re this happy and giddy that I don’t give a damn. It was the last thing that I was expecting. You’re absolutely certain, aren’t you?”

“Yep.” Eve leaned back in her chair and felt the happiness flowing through her. She did feel giddy. After the tension of the last days, the relief was overwhelming. “And you will be, too. We’ll just sit here and give those doctors time to congratulate themselves, then come out and tell us how clever they are.” She lifted her cup in a mock toast to Jane. “And then we’ll call Catherine and tell her to come and celebrate with us.”

*   *   *

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.”
Catherine’s face was luminous as she came into the waiting room. “The doctors confirmed it? Joe’s going to be okay?”

“Believe it,” Eve said. “It’s true.”

“No danger of his slipping back?”

“Oh, they tried to tell me that we had to be cautious. That there was a possibility of a relapse.” She shrugged. “That’s what they always say when they’re confused. But I’m not confused. It’s not going to happen.”

“She has it on the highest authority,” Jane said with a grin.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Catherine said. “Next question. How long before Joe is on his feet again?”

“It depends on his progress. Joe usually heals quickly.”

“Months?”

“Weeks,” Eve said. “But I don’t know how many weeks. It will take as long as it takes. I don’t want him to hurry and injure himself.”

“Once he starts to recover, it’s going to be hard to keep him down.” Catherine frowned. “You know that, Eve.”

Eve’s smile vanished. “I’ll keep him down even if I have to tie him to the bed.”

“That may have to be the solution,” Catherine said grimly. “Once he finds out that you believed Paul Black when he said it was Gallo who killed Bonnie.”

Eve’s smile faded. “Black believed what he was saying. I could see it.” She paused. “And so did John Gallo. That’s why he ran away.”

“And Joe will be right after him.”

“No.” Eve could feel the fear tighten her chest. “We can’t let him do that.”

“No, we can’t,” Catherine said. “Which means I have to find Gallo first.”

“You’ve been trying. Everyone’s been trying.”

“Then I’ll try harder. I haven’t had a chance to concentrate yet. I’ve split my time between searching those woods and running back here and checking on Joe.” Her lips tightened. “I’ll find him.”

“He may not even be in those woods,” Eve said. “If he got clear of them, he could be anywhere in the world. He has plenty of money, and he worked for Army Intelligence for years as a troubleshooter and assassin. It’s not as if he won’t know how to slip in and out of the country.”

“I know that,” Catherine said. “But it wouldn’t have been easy for him to escape the sheriff and deputies we called in when Joe was hurt. They had him on the run. He was sighted at least twice.”

“And then they lost him, and he hasn’t been seen since,” Eve said. “You told me yourself that it was as if he dropped off the face of the Earth.”

“I think he’s still in those woods. He owns the property. He knows it better than anyone hunting him,” Catherine said. “I have a feeling.”

“Instinct,” Jane murmured. “I believe in instinct.”