Race to Recovery (Full Throttle) (7 page)

“Penny, Brant’s not the only one to lodge a complaint against you. I wish we could let you stay until you had completed your recovery but you’re impeding the healing process for other patients and we cannot allow that. Please pack up your belongings. Mr. Everett will come up to help you with your bags. And Penny, he has the master key.”

“Then I’ll bar the damn door!” she shrieked. “I’m not leaving!” She raced into her room and slammed the door.

It only got noisier after that. Brant hear Penny shrieking and swearing from his room down the hall. There were several thuds and Brant couldn’t decide if Penny was throwing things or kicking the walls as they tried to carry her out. There were masculine voices as well, softer, coaxing. The shrieking got louder as they brought her into the hallway and Brant could hear the words now.

“I’m going to kill that little son of a bitch. Where the hell is he? You can’t throw me out! I’m not healed, I’m not better yet. I’ll use again! Where is that bastard? He ruined my life! I’ll kill him; I swear to god, he’s dead. Brant is so dead!”

Dr. Hurd and Dr. Keaton stood in the hallway at the foot of the stairs, out of the way and mostly out of sight but near enough to be of assistance should the need arise. Dr. Keaton sighed and shook his head as the orderlies carried Penny down the stairs, still screaming.

“I should have seen this, Clyde, I’m sorry. Penny was dependent on more than just the drugs, she craved affection. I guess she started seducing other patients as a way to fill that need. She seemed to be more stable, I thought she was getting better, but she was just using in a different way.”

“We can’t always see everything, Sebastian. These people have a lot of experience hiding their symptoms, and their addictions, from the people closest to them.”

“Still, it was my job. I could have prevented this.”

“I don’t think you could have. She would have kept this up until someone like Brant decided not to stand for it. Come on, there’s a lot a paperwork to do now.”

From the library Alice could hear the yelling as they brought Penny down the stairs. She stood with her back against the wall just inside the door where no one could see her. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused on her breathing but still Penny’s voice seemed to change into a deeper voice, one that yelled insults at her from across deep in her own mind. It was all over quickly but Alice was shaking and tears streamed down her face. She peeked around the door frame then made a break for her room before the gawkers came out to gossip about the drama.

* * * *

Alice ate lunch slowly, looking up hopefully every time someone walked in to the dining room. Every time it wasn’t Brant she sighed and took another bite of food. Brant never did show at lunch, or at dinner. After dinner Alice paused at number sixteen and stared at the door for a long time.

Speaking to him in the dining room or library was one thing, but actually seeking him out was a different matter altogether. Her throat was dry and she swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut.

He fought with Penny so there’s no telling what mood he might be in. He yelled at his own brother this morning. He wouldn’t think twice about yelling at me just for knocking on the door.
Shaking, she retreated to her own room and her romance novels.

Chapter Four

Seth pulled into the lot at eight am on the nose. He turned off the car and sat staring at the traffic beyond the thick bushes. He couldn’t hear the hum of the other cars, except when a large truck rumbled past, and if he closed his eyes it was almost like being back on the farm.

Except that here I’m the only target for Brant’s bitching and I don’t have the privacy of my garage to putter in.

He sighed and headed for the visitor’s door. He had read the stack of papers from Dr. Keaton over and over again and he knew he had to let go of any fights he’d had with Brant. Dwelling on disagreements could make a patient resentful and resistant to help. There was a time and place to air dirty laundry but that time wasn’t during the recovery process.

Besides, if I’m not there to help keep his temper in check he’ll get himself kicked out.
The orderly on duty searched his pockets and let him through the secure door into the Common Room.

Everything looked the same but Seth could feel more tension in the air, could see it in the body language of the men who were coming down for breakfast. Worried now, he hurried to the dining room. Brant wasn’t there but for a moment his gaze met the quiet blonde’s. She was staring at him and it looked like she was debating something with herself. They hesitated in that moment and then her cheeks flushed making her hair look even lighter and she looked back down at her breakfast.

Seth turned away and went upstairs. He knocked on his brother’s door. There was no answer and Seth frowned. “Brant? Open up, it’s me.”

The lock clicked and the door opened. “Where did you go yesterday?” Brant growled, filling the doorway.

So much for letting things slide,
he thought. “Are we going to do this in the hallway?”

Brant stepped back, still looking surly, and closed the door behind his brother. “Are you planning on abandoning me here every day?”

“Are you planning on locking me out of your room every day? One of the orderlies asked me to either join you or leave and since you wouldn’t let me in I had no choice.”

“You don’t know what I went through yesterday. And all because you weren’t here! Thank god they got rid of that bitch.”

Seth opted to leave off the argument of whose fault his absence really was and pursue this new turn of events. “Slow down, Brant, what happened yesterday?”

Brant settled and said, “I went down to the library to talk to Alice and …”

“The blonde with the frightened eyes?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Brant, don’t you know anything about body language? That girl is clearly a victim. You should leave her alone before you terrify her.”

“Look, this isn’t about Alice, okay? Now do you want to hear about yesterday or do you want to lecture me some more?”

Seth was taken about by Brant’s sudden return to enraged. “By all means, continue. What happened yesterday?”

“I got cornered by that bitch, Penny, that’s what happened.”

“Yes, I met her. She talked to me the other day. She was very interested in you, and in gossiping about other patients.”

“Seth!”

“I didn’t tell her anything. I’ve got your back, remember? I shut her down and she stormed off.”

“Then she let you off easy. The bitch wouldn’t leave me alone! She had the nerve to offer me a blow job. She still had dirt on her knees and she’s offering to take me out to the garden and blow me with that filthy mouth.”

That explains the exchange I witnessed in the Common Room,
he thought. “You say she’s gone now?”

“Yeah, I told Dr. Hurd about it and she was thrown out,” Brant grumbled. “She made a hell of a racket on her way out.”

“Well, that should make you happy.”

“Right, it should. It doesn’t. I mean, yeah, great, she’s gone, she won’t bother me anymore, but it’s not enough to cheer me up.”

“And why not?”

“Because I hardly slept and I threw up this morning and I don’t know if it’s the withdrawal or just because I skipped lunch and supper yesterday and ate all the snacks you brought me instead.”

“All of them? Brant there were two full bags of chips in there, and the pop.”

“Okay, maybe not all of them. I didn’t feel like dealing with the doctors and their red tape bullshit and I didn’t feel like facing any of Penny’s friends so I didn’t leave my room last night. And I’m not leaving until I have my appointment this afternoon.” He crossed his arms like a stubborn child and dropped into the empty chair.

“Brant, you’ve eaten nothing but junk food since you stormed out of the dining room halfway through breakfast yesterday morning. I’m not a doctor but I’d guess that was why you threw up. You need something healthy in you. Now. And coffee wouldn’t hurt either. Let’s go.”

“No.”

“I’m not buying any more groceries so you might as well get down there before they stop serving breakfast. If you don’t like if you can just starve. Got it?”

“God Seth, when did you become such a hard ass?”

“Since you don’t seem to listen when I’m nice. Come on, I could use another cup of coffee.”

Grudgingly Brant followed his brother down to a nearly empty dining room.

* * * *

They lingered over breakfast until the cleaning staff had started washing down the tables. Seth nursed his coffee while Brant picked over his ham and eggs. He was slouched low in his chair looking every bit the sullen spoiled child.

Brant tossed his fork beside his plate. “You know, I got Alice to talk to me yesterday,” he said out of the blue. “She likes romance novels and happy endings.”

“Brant, you need to leave the poor girl along. You’re not the gentlest of people; you can be loud and abrasive. If you keep this up she’ll have you kicked out, just like Penny.”

“I’m nothing like Penny,” Brant snapped. “Just shut up.” He picked up his fork and went back to sullenly prodding his scrambled egg.

This time it was Seth’s turn to break the silence. “When I went to see Dr. Keaton he gave me a bunch of stuff to read on being a good support person.”

“And you’re doing the exact opposite? Or did you bother to read it at all?”

“Come on, Brant, I’m trying. Your mood swings and temper are making it hard for me.”

“Yeah well the lack of sleep, the disturbing dreams, and the desperate need to take just one more of those goddamn pills is making it hard on me.”

“You’ve been off the pills for forty-eight hours, Brant.”

“I never went more than six hours without a pill, Seth. That’s sixteen pills I haven’t taken. Sixteen pills that I miss, I crave. My foot is healed, it’s been checked twice by doctors, and the damn thing still hurts.”

“Phantom pain is normal after a traumatic experience, right?”

“Phantom pain is when you lose your foot but you can still feel pain, or itchiness, idiot. My foot’s still there.”

“Okay, but it’s the same sort of thing, right? You’re feeling a pain that isn’t there.”

“I’m feeling a pain that isn’t supposed to be there. My body remembers, Seth. Pain leads to pills because pills relieve pain. If the cravings aren’t enough to make me take the damn pills then the pain should be. And it is. If I could get my hands on one pill I’d take it without a second thought.”

“What about Dad? What about your career?”

“Right now I don’t give a shit about any of that. I just want the damn drug.”

“Are you going to tell Dr. Keaton that today?”

“Why? He didn’t want to listen yesterday. It’s none of his business. I don’t care about their philosophy of healing. I just need to stay here until I can care more about my career than the drugs for twenty-four consecutive hours.”

“Dr. Keaton can help with that.”

“Unless he knows what sort of hell I’m going through I doubt he can help.”

“But you expect me to help?”

“I don’t need help getting better, I need help staying sane.”

“But why me?”

“Because it’s always been you.”

“Oh, so you have noticed.”

“Of course I’ve noticed. I would have caved under the pressure of trying to win every race and earn Dad’s approval without your help. You’ve helped me to stay focused, to stay sane.”

“Is that all?”

Brant frowned. “Why?”

“No, nothing. You flatter me and I’m not used to it.”
I am used to you not seeing or acknowledging all the times I stopped you from offending the wrong person or getting your nose bloodied because you’re too arrogant to think before you speak.
He sipped his coffee to hide his frown.

“Come on, I’m not hungry.” He pushed the last of his food aside. “I saw a deck of cards in the TV room. Let’s kill a few hours upstairs.”

I thought you said cards were pointless,
Seth thought but all he said was, “Sure Brant, whatever you want.”

* * * *

Alice finished her lunch and still hadn’t seen Brant. He hadn’t come down to the library all morning and they hadn’t crossed paths at either meal. She was starting to get nervous that maybe he’d left after the incident with Penny.
If he’s hiding in his room, or gone, there’s nothing more I can do. I’ll just look around the Common Room and library one more time.

From the doorway she saw Brant’s brother in the Common Room.
Sid? Simon? No, it was one syllable. Oh bother! Maybe he knows where Brant is and if he’s upset with me.
She took two steps and froze.
I can’t talk to him! But I can’t say thank-you to Brant without knowing where he is. A few words won’t hurt, really, they won’t. He seems quieter than Brant; he should be easier to talk to.
She took a deep breath and forced her feet to carry her across the room.

Seth didn’t even notice her until she said, “Excuse me, are you Brant’s brother?”

At first he was ready to snap at whoever was standing there; he’d heard that line too many times from fans looking for an introduction. They would be sweet and flirty with him until Brant came on the scene and then Seth would become invisible. When he looked up he saw the blonde, Alice, standing next to the couch. Her smile was thin and nervous. She rubbed her hand up and down her arm. Being this close to her he could see her eyes were an alluring shade of blue and he imagined that if he could make her smile, really smile so that those eyes lit up, that she’d be the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

Brant’s going to terrify her or hurt her more than she’s already been hurt. I won’t let that happen. I won’t. No matter what it costs me I will erase the pain from those beautiful eyes.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m Seth.”

“I haven’t seen Brant in a while and I sort of had something I wanted to tell him.”

Infatuated already,
Seth thought as his heart dropped. “I could tell him, if you’d like.”

“No, since I want to thank him for helping to get rid of Penny I should say it myself, even if I don’t like talking to people.”

Seth smiled. “You just missed him. He had an appointment with Dr. Keaton.”