Race to Recovery (Full Throttle) (9 page)

“You embarrassed her so badly she left.”

The way Brant implied eye-roll with just his tone of voice infuriated Seth. Even worse was the fact that his plan to spark Brant’s temper had failed twice.
Brant’s temper has been at the surface since we checked in. Seeing Dr. Keaton should have riled him up not calmed him down. What is happening to him?

Brant leaned back and sighed. “What did you two talk about?”

“Not much really.”

“Did she tell you anything about her?”

Seth hesitated.

“You have to tell me.”

“Brant, it’s not really my place. She trusted me, I can’t break that trust. It wouldn’t be right. If she wants you to know she’ll tell you.”

“You’re just jealous that she came looking for me,” Brant snapped.

That stung and hit a little too close for comfort. “I did the same for you, remember? Penny came harassing me for the low down on you and I sent her packing. Don’t make this about you Brant. I’m not out to get you.”
I’m just protecting Alice from you.

Brant was speechless but he tried anyway. “I didn’t … I've never …”

“No, you never do, Brant. That’s the problem. You never see anything past your own nose. If it won’t help your career or make you feel good you want nothing to do with it. And if it takes someone’s focus off of you, even for a second, you try to stop it!”

“That’s not true!”

“What about Chloe? When she paid more attention to Trey and her own feelings than she did to your career you tried to send her home.”

“I thought he was dangerous. You thought he was dangerous. You backed me up!”

“Yeah, I followed your lead because I honestly believed all those rumours. I should have believed Chloe. She was the only rational one, her and Reuben but he never showed his hand to anyone.”

“What does any of this have to do with Alice?”

“You’re mad because she came and talked to me, because she laughed at my stories. She paid attention to me, not you, and you can’t stand it so you’re lashing out at me.”

“I made it clear I was interested in her. You shouldn’t be putting the moves on her until she turns me down.”

“First of all, you never said you were interested in her. I can tell you’re obsessed with her but that’s not the same thing. Second, you can’t be romantically involved with her unless you want Dr. Hurd to kick you both out. Third, she did tell you to leave her alone …”

“She changed her mind!”

“Because of me, yes. And lastly I’m not ‘putting the moves on her’, as you say. I was only keeping her company.” Only the last was a lie but a lie surrounded by truth was easier to hide.

“Bullshit,” Brant muttered but he didn’t push it further. “How are we going to spend the day together now?”

“I don’t know, but we have to so think of something.”

Brant sighed. “Rummy? Or Speed?”

* * * *

The Bye boys were hovering outside the dining room watching the kitchen staff set out big roasters of food. The last thing to be set out was the stack of trays which Seth and Brant took as a signal that they could begin. A pair of young women who had been playing cards at one of the tables joined them in line but kept to themselves.

Brant and Seth found a table with four chairs and sat down to each and wait. They ate slowly and talked little, each watching the door intently. When they were finished they struggled through small talk until they couldn’t postpone the inevitable without looking like fools. With sullen faces they took their trays to the return pile and started for the door. It was at that moment that Alice slipped in, staying close to the wall, her eyes nervously hopping from face to face. When she saw Brant and Seth she gave a little smile and a shy wave before turning her attention to the food.

Seth put a hand on Brant’s elbow and was surprised when his brother actually followed without struggle or complaint. Once in the Common Room Brant headed straight for the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Seth said.

“I’m getting that deck of cards,” Brant replied. “I’ll be right back.”

By the time Alice had finished eating the two brothers were engrossed in a game of Gin Rummy in the Common Room. “That looks like fun,” she said.

Brant picked up a card and dropped his hand. “Gin! That’s another hand for me.” He smiled at Alice. “Would you like to join us?”

“I think I’ll just watch.”

Chapter Five

Brant was smiling as he gathered up the playing cards and tucked the little pegs in the bottom of the cribbage board. The last two days had gone remarkably well, even if he and Seth couldn’t speak civilly to each other. Not even getting skunked by Seth in the last cribbage game could foul his mood. Now Seth had gone back to the motel and Alice was in her weekly meeting with Dr. Keaton so it was up to Brant to clean up the evening’s entertainment.

A shadow fell over the table and he looked up into the stony face of another patient.
Why is he so familiar?
Brant thought, frowning. “Can I help you? We’re done with the cribbage board if you want it.”

“Brant? I’m Bill. We haven’t really had the chance to get to know each other; you haven’t fallen in with the guys here.”

“You’ve lost me. Is this an introduction? Or an invitation?”

“This is ‘go to hell’.”

“I thought addiction was hell,” he said, the arrogance rising again.

“So did we, and that’s why we’re all here, even is this place is little better than a cushy prison. I bet those crooked Wall Street guys got put up even cushier than this.”

“You’re probably right, but what does this have to do with me?” Brant went back to cleaning up.

“Your name came up when we started asking about where Penny went.”

Just like that Brant knew why the guy looked so familiar. He had been outside with Penny that day. He was the last man to enjoy Penny’s company.

And he looks more than a little pissed off about it,
he thought. The next thought struck like lightning.
If he’s heard about my involvement how long until he finds out about Alice?

Taking a deep breath he said, “Yes, I reported Penny for sexual harassment and that’s why she was kicked out.”

“Are you a prude? Or just stupid? Or are you a faggot? Because the way you chase the Mouse I’m pretty sure you’re not a faggot.”

“I really didn’t care about what Penny was doing with you or anyone else. I wasn’t interested. If she had said, ‘okay, I’ll see you around’ I would have kept quiet. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have said no. She’s got a hell of a mouth on her.”

“Are you her pimp now or something?”

Brant saw Bill’s face flush and his hands tighten into fists.
Shit
he thought.
Well, that was the wrong thing to say.

“Why do you care that I didn’t want a blow job from the local whore?”

Bill’s right hook connected solidly with Brant’s jaw and knocked him back a step.

So much for making things better,
he thought as the second swing caught him low in the gut.

Compared to Bill, Brant looked scrawny but Bill didn’t realize that Brant drove stock cars for a living. Even if he did know, most people didn’t realize what an asset being physical strong was when it came to driving. You didn’t see fat stock car drivers.

The blow to his stomach glanced off muscle Bill wasn’t expecting and didn’t double Brant over as planned.

Brant’s first swing was clumsy as he regained his footing, and then the fight began in earnest.

Bill could certainly throw a hell of a punch and Brant tried to doge when her could but the scattering of couches and end tables made it difficult. Brant landed a solid blow and staggered back, sending playing cards fluttering to the floor. In the split second Brant had to breathe he realized the Common Room was deserted and had been since the cribbage game.

How many people know about this?

Bill’s nose was bleeding but Brant was afraid his might be broken. If he’d inflicted any other real damage on the bigger man it wasn’t apparent but Brant could taste blood. He ducked one punch only to have the second send him reeling.

I have to stay on my feet. If I go down he’ll kill me.

* * * *

Dr. Keaton noticed the difference in Alice even before she walked into his office. Her knock, usually so soft he could barely hear it, was firm and confident. Though the words of her greeting hadn’t changed, a simple ‘hello Dr. Keaton,’ her tone was cheerful, almost outgoing. And the smile on her face lit up the small office. There was no ignoring this Alice or dismissing her as a simple wall-flower. This was the Alice Dr. Keaton had been trying to find since she had checked in.

“Hello, Alice. Why don’t you take a seat and we’ll get started. How was your week?”

He expected a wishy-washy answer but she smiled and said, “The last few days have been very good.”

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Yes, I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I guess the last time I felt like this was the last first hit.”

“You feel high?”

“No, it’s not that exactly. There’s all this stress and tension and fear that builds up when you start craving and then that all goes away when you give in. I don’t feel the high, just that letting go.”

“I have to ask, Alice, are you using again?”

She laughed. “No, there are no drugs here. I just feel good for once. Is this how people are supposed to feel?”

“When we’re in a good mood, yes. Being clean means your moods are affected by your choices and your interactions with others, not dictated by how often you take a drug.”

“It’s freedom,” she said, as though the thought had never occurred to her that way before. “I always thought that by rebelling and taking drugs I was asserting my freedom but I wasn’t.”

“At first you were, yes. You consciously chose to take that first puff at fifteen. But drugs take away our free will; they dictate the choices we make.”

“Does that mean I should forgive me last boyfriend for …” she swallowed hard, suddenly very pale. “For everything at the end? Because it was the drugs and not him?”

“I always advocate forgiveness, but remember that you can forgive without condoning his actions. In the case of your last boyfriend I don’t think he was as dependent on the drugs as he let on. I think he made a conscious choice to hurt you and to betray you. He’s in the wrong; never let anyone tell you his actions were excusable for any reason because, drugs or no drugs, they weren’t. When you are ready to let go you’ll know. It won’t hold any power over you and you’ll be able to walk away. As long as you someday get there that’s good enough for me.”

She smiled, not the radiant smile she wore earlier but a softer, honest, grateful smile. “Thank you.”

“Tell me about the last few days. I guess Brant has stopped harassing you?”

She laughed. “He’s not harassing me, no, but he never did take no for an answer.”

“So you’re letting him talk to you?”

“Yes, and his brother Seth, too.”

“This is a big step for you, Alice.”

“I know. At first it was just a few words but then Seth was so interesting to listen to and I started to feel comfortable so I stopped running away. Now I like spending time with them.”

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re stepping out but don’t let them push you past where you are comfortable being.”

“I thought I was supposed to push myself.”

“You are. I have no problem with you pushing you; I have a problem with them pushing you. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I do. It took me eleven years of being pushed but I think I finally understand.”

“Good. Keep up this progress up and we’ll be able to start talking about where you want to go when you leave here.”

She shuddered and seemed to shrink a little. “I hadn’t even thought about that. At some point I have to go back out there.”

“Alice, don’t think about it yet. I’m sorry I pushed. I won’t mention it again until you’re ready. Deal?”

“It’s a deal. Was there anything else?”

“Let’s go over the list of physical symptoms quickly and then I’ll let you go.”

* * * *

Brant had been in his fair share of drunken brawls, mostly when he’d gone out drinking without Seth though he’d never drawn that connection, but fighting an offended drunk was nothing compared to this. This wasn’t a scuffle or even a brawl; this was meant to teach Brant a lesson.

And if someone doesn’t intervene soon I’m going to learn it whether I want to or not.

The answer to his prayers came just as Bill succeeded in knocking the wind out of him and doubling him over.
If my nose isn’t broken already the next punch should do the trick.

* * * *

It didn’t take them long to review the list and Alice was surprised to see how many of them had improved.
I haven’t thought about them much in the last few days. Maybe Dr. Keaton was right, maybe dwelling on them makes them worse.

She came around the corner into the Common Room and screamed.

* * * *

The scream, high-pitched and ear-splitting, was the most beautiful sound Brant had ever heard. It made Bill pause and Brant tried to back away. He tripped over the cribbage board and landed on the floor that rattled his teeth and made it even harder to breathe. There was a flurry of activity as people reacted to the scream. Orderlies and doctors rushed out and someone restrained Bill.

Why didn’t anyone see it on the security monitors?
Brant thought but someone was helping him to his feet and the thought was replaced by a sharp, wordless pain.

“What happened here?”

Brant recognized Dr. Hurd’s voice. “Just two aggressive personalities, I guess,” he mumbled.

“Was he harassing you?”

“No, just an argument out of control. I’m mouthy at the best of times, just ask my brother.”

Bill grunted and said, “Yeah, what he said.”

“Let’s get you both looked after and we’ll discuss some boundaries, for your safety of course.”

“Fine,” Brant said and allowed himself to be led away from the Common Room and the sudden abundance of gawkers.