Radiant Surrender (CSA Case Files Book 6) (27 page)

“I wouldn’t call them doubts, so much as adjusting to…well, this. Me. Us.” Jessie fiddled with the lace of the garter belt, almost as if she didn’t want to reveal too much. That was ludicrous considering what they’d engaged in during the last twelve hours. “What you did this morning aroused me and yes, I’m having trouble adjusting to or understanding my reaction fully.”

“It wasn’t the act itself.” Crest watched her closely as he reassured her that the feelings she was experiencing was normal, although it was up to her to decide if it was something she could live with. He couldn’t be the one to make that decision for her. “Your submissive side responds to my overt dominance. Your body reacts in accordance to what your mind is telling it and therefore, you feel guilty for somewhat enjoying something that is outside of your realm of comfort or control. Humiliation isn’t something you prefer, but yet you were stimulated by it. Once you take ownership of your submission to me as your master, you won’t question whether or not it’s right. It will just be your new normal.”

“You make it sound easy.” Jessie’s laugh contained a hint of a tremor, telling Crest that she was still coming to terms with what took place this morning. He himself had a decision to make. He either continued with their day as planned and took the chance of Jessie deciding the darkness within him was too great or he stopped this before she decided she hated herself for secretly craving the same thing he did. Whichever way, he stood the chance of losing her. If she were to make a decision, he would want it based on the truth and not an idea of what was to be. “So, where would you like me, Gavin?”

Chapter Twenty-Five

J
essie had spent extra time in the shower and the bathroom trying to decipher all of the emotions that Gavin had stirred within her. By the time she’d dried her hair, pulled it back into a braid, dressed into the garter belt and stockings, and inserted a plug that she thought was too big for her, she still couldn’t interpret what she was feeling. Confused summed it up, but she wasn’t willing to say her safeword. She’d wanted Gavin for years and that included this dark place inside of him that he kept hidden from the world. It was almost as if he were afraid she would reject him if he exposed too much of himself. She held her breath as she waited for him to answer. He was taking too long and she was afraid that he would say their time had come to an end. She straightened her shoulders, ready to do battle if she needed to.

“I’d like to explore your body today.” Gavin’s statement made Jessie exhale in relief and yet tense with the understanding that it wasn’t a simple statement. She was right and as he explained his intentions, she mentally groaned at the exquisite torture he was about to unleash on her. “There won’t be a place on your body that I won’t touch. This is about me getting to know you better, what makes you aroused and what doesn’t. Make no mistake, this isn’t about your pleasure though. You are not allowed to achieve an orgasm during my examinations. Doing so would defeat the purpose.”

Okay. Jessie wouldn’t have thought that would have been such a turn on, but she was now relatively sure she could have an orgasm with one stroke of his finger at this point. He’d had his release this morning and she hadn’t. She briefly wondered what would happen if she mentioned that, but decided against it when an image of what had taken place this morning floated into her head.

“Go lie in the center of the bed,” Crest directed, not making a move to follow her. Jessie had a feeling this wasn’t going to be a caress and stroke kind of exploration. Once again, she was confused by why that stirred a response inside of her. “I’ll be there shortly.”

Jessie immediately turned on her stocking feet and made her way back into the bedroom. She glanced out the window, wondering why she hadn’t seen anyone outside. The lake must be public property considering how large it was, but then knowing Gavin, he’d probably purchased it for his own use. She didn’t think anyone could see too far into the room during the day, but it did make her uncomfortable at the thought of someone being close enough to look in at them.

She glanced around the room, searching for anything Gavin might be using on her body. Nothing stood out and she slowly climbed onto the bed so as not to shift the anal plug. She softly groaned when she turned onto her back. He would know the moment he spread her legs that the larger plug made her wet with desire. She tried to think back to a time when she’d ever felt so alive and she couldn’t name one moment.

“Arms extended out on the mattress.” The sound of Gavin’s voice startled her, yet before she was even aware of doing so, her arms were stretched out on the sheets with her palms facing upward. The thick comforter was folded down across the end of the bed. “The flesh of a woman tells a man many things.”

Gavin lay down next to her, his masculine scent enveloping her. She inhaled deeply as she rolled her head his way. She noticed that he was still wearing his running pants and she would have felt more comfortable if he’d removed them. As he said, this was about her and him getting to know her body. It was kind of a rush to have so much attention on the things that awakened her senses. He rested his body on his elbow, leveraging himself to look down at her.

“When I stroke my finger down your arm you’ll see that your fingers curl into your palms.” Gavin demonstrated and then proceeded to touch every part of her skin that was exposed. He had a description for everything as well, even flipping her onto her stomach and continuing to enlighten her on how important her skin was to the stimulation he provided. By the time he was done covering all of her, she was ready to beg him for relief. Instead, she was instructed to once again lie on her back. “Moving on, let’s see how your breasts and nipples respond to pain and pleasure, shall we?”

How long had they been at this? Jessie wasn’t sure how much more she could take and Gavin had yet to really touch her in a way that would send her into oblivion. Didn’t he understand that she wouldn’t be able to control herself if he started playing with her breasts? She tried to even out her breathing when he left the bed, but her shallow panting got worse when he returned with various items in his hand.

“Gavin?”

“Yes?” Gavin inquired, busily unraveling something that resembled her stockings.

“What happens if I…come without permission?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Gavin surprised her when he slid his hands underneath her and moved her until she was on his side of the bed. He methodically placed cuffs on each wrist and then lifted both of her arms until her hands were above her head. He connected them to a hook that she hadn’t even realized was there. When his large hand covered her left breast, Jessie did her best to keep her eyes focused on his face when what she really wanted to do was close them. She needed to think of anything other than this if she were going to prevent herself from having an orgasm.

Jessie didn’t bother answering his rhetorical question. She didn’t want to know the answer to her inquiry. She wouldn’t come and when he used the fabric to wrap around her breast, she didn’t think it would be an issue anymore. The constriction was quite painful, although not enough for her to cry out. She bit her lip, watching his face as he continued to circle the material around her breast until it was sticking straight up in the air. He then tucked the loose end underneath, leaving her hardened nipple pointing straight up at the ceiling. He efficiently did the same to her other breast until both were tingling. He stared at her for so long that she became aware of her body even more so than she had before. It was disconcerting and time seemed to slow down.

“Did you know that a woman can achieve orgasm from breast play alone?” Gavin picked up what looked like a small cane and Jessie bit her lip to keep from telling him to stop. It was as if her breasts already felt the sting and she wasn’t sure she could handle it. “I’d like to see if you respond that way for potential future scenes. Exploration and discovery are wonderful things.”

The first tap against her restricted flesh didn’t really hurt, although the tingles had turned into little pinpricks. It was uncomfortable but nothing she couldn’t take. It was actually a relief and she found herself relaxing somewhat against the bed. He continued to bring the thin piece of wood down on her breasts and it wasn’t until one caught her nipple that she finally cried out and arched her back.

“Spread your legs.” Jessie’s heart was racing and she was afraid he’d find that she was wet. Of course she was wet, but it was from when he’d caressed and stroked her all over. It wasn’t from this. It wasn’t. Not able to move her right leg without falling off the bed, she shifted her left leg as far as she could. She felt the cool air against her moist pussy long before his finger came away with her cream. Her nipples seemed to be the core of her body and she needed him to stop. “Interesting. Let’s see just how much you enjoy this.”

Gavin slowly worked her breasts over with what she now viewed as the evil stick for too long. She once again lost track of the hour and each time he’d catch her nipple with the whip of the pliable wood, she came closer to achieving that orgasm he spoke of. Unable to help herself, she start to try and move away from his strikes, but he managed to connect with her nipples no matter which way she shifted on the bed. She didn’t want to believe it, but she was one stroke away from coming by the time he put down the cane. She’d been unable to stop the tears that were now flowing down her face.

“Gavin, I need to come,” Jessie whispered, afraid of what would happen if she did. She felt like she would explode into a thousand pieces. She looked up at him pleadingly, but she could tell from the firm set of his mouth that he wouldn’t permit it. She felt a sob rise up that he wouldn’t give her an inch. “Gavin, please.”

“This isn’t about you achieving an orgasm right now, Jessica.” Crest pulled the loose strand out from her right breast, allowing the blood to flow back in. The throbbing transferred to her clit and she dug her fingernails into her palms to stop from coming. “This is about me getting to know your body. So no, you may not come. I do like that your breasts are so responsive. Our future scenes will include various types of breast play. I think what is surprising me the most is your reaction to the light pain I’m inflicting.”

Light? Jessie felt a spark of irritation flare up at his description. What she wanted to scream was that maybe it had to do with the fact that he kept rubbing his fingers over her clit, but she was beginning to understand that would get her nowhere. She realized there was a pun in there, but her scattered mind couldn’t focus on anything but what he was doing—which was unhooking her hands. His actions caused her to be even more nervous.

“Gavin?” He helped her back into the middle of the bed due to the fact her muscles were a puddle, or at least she hoped that he realized that. Once there, he surprised her by propping her up on a pillow and securing her wrists one more time to a completely different hidden hook, as well as pulling out long black straps on either side of the bed. Without a word he shifted her down and brought one of her legs up high and wrapped the binding around the middle of her thigh, allowing her knee to bend. He did the same with the other, leaving her wide open and vulnerable to whatever it was he had planned for the exploration of her pussy. Her clit started throbbing with intensity and he’d yet to even do anything. She finally broke when the plug shifted inside of her and intensified her need to come tenfold. Hysteria bubbled up inside of her and she rushed her words together. “I can’t take it anymore. Can’t you see that? I need to come, but I’m afraid to. I don’t want to come because I don’t want to disappoint you. You need to give me time to breathe, just a few minutes. I—”

“Jessica, I’m exploring your body at my leisure and learning what you like and don’t like. Up to now, I haven’t seen much fall into the latter department but the day is far from over.” Gavin walked away to that drawer she was coming to hate as much as she loved, causing her apprehension to rise with each step. He was too calm, which she was learning meant this scene wasn’t anywhere near ending. She struggled with getting herself under control. He wasn’t going to release her unless she used her safeword and that wasn’t going to happen. The question now was whether she would orgasm before he wanted her to or if he would break her mentally. “Were you aware that the clitoris has the largest concentration of nerves on a woman’s body? I personally think it’s the most beautiful part of a woman…the way it blossoms like a flower when it’s stroked to arousal, the way it engorges when provided a touch of pain, and the way it contracts when it’s finally offered the relief it craves.”

Gavin might actually be able to break her, because just his words had Jessie on the verge of an orgasm. He had to know that, so why wouldn’t he allow her to have a release and then he could explore and discover all he wanted? She bit her lip and moved her face against the inside of her arm to wipe away another tear.

“We’ll start with your clitoris before moving on to your pussy, for which the variety of vibrators I have on hand is extensive.” Gavin had returned with more items, but Jessie couldn’t make them out. He made himself comfortable in front of her spread legs and the way the straps pulled her legs back, it was as if she were a meal prepared and set up just for him. He’d levered her upper body so that she was forced to watch everything he was about to do. “Shall we explore first?”