Rage to Adore (16 page)

Without realizing, he held out his hand to help her up but
dropped it quickly before she could take it. He had to keep a distance between
them; even touching her hand would be too much. Jaro turned abruptly, kicking
the fire, suffocating the remaining embers, and at the same time trying to
extinguish his wayward emotions.

Tani withdrew her raised hand as Jaro walked away. She had
caught a fleeting glimpse of bitterness in his expression when he had told her
to keep her distance. Her heart ached, attuned to the swirl of emotion that
churned around him, a whirling cyclone of loss, loneliness and yearning. He was
hurting. And such was her natural compassion she was unable to stem the threads
of comfort that reached out toward him endeavoring to wrap ribbons of
protection around his battered soul. Yes, he had done evil things. His life had
been hard and she was aware that, like many others, Jaro was also a victim of
circumstance, a product of the violent environment in which he existed. Tied
and bound by the bonds of slavery, unable to escape.

“Don’t do that!” he snapped, turning to face her.

“What?”

He stared at her, his mercury eyes blinking, shoulders
heaving with some internal struggle. “You know what, Red, just don’t.” He
turned and headed out of the cave. “It hurts too much.” She barely caught the
whispered words as they floated, lingering in the air between them.

The threads of comfort she had extended snapped back, the
force causing a sudden jerk of sharp pain in her chest. He was rejecting her
compassion again! Anger bubbled, taking the place of the pain. Damn the man!
Why was he so stubborn that he couldn’t accept some comfort? She wanted to
soothe him as she had the night before, wipe away the bitterness and show him
she understood. But he was constantly rejecting her. Well, that was the last
time she would bother. She couldn’t wait to get back to Serpens, find Lorcan
and get Jaro out of her life for good.

Confusion

Jaro kept the distance between them as Tani followed him out
of the cave. He didn’t look back. If he did, he knew he might break. She wasn’t
his. Could never be his. He had to remember that. Why she insistently continued
to try to comfort him he didn’t know. She was a warrior, a fighter and he had
seen enough to know that she was a good one. Tough. Strong. But she was also
generous and giving with a beautiful, compassionate heart and even though she
challenged him with her words, she had taken care of him. He wished that wasn’t
true. He wished she was a cold bitch like his mother, Morana or the young
mistress. It would have made it easier for him to hate her. He couldn’t bear to
soften toward her, to have her care for him and for that care to be taken away.

Kidding himself that her solicitude was anything more than
basic human kindness was a masochistic endeavor. He meant nothing to her. She only
needed him to get back to Serpens. That was the only reason she was trying to
help him. Ultimately he was a means to an end. How he wished that that there
was no end. That he didn’t have to go back. Jaro focused all his energy on
maintaining the right direction and ignored the woman at his back.

Traveling for two hours without further conversation, Tani
trailed behind Jaro as he strode ahead, creating a path through the dense
foliage. The Ophiuchi sky glowed orange and the three revolving suns reached
their highest point in the sky, masked from time to time by swirling purple
clouds, drifting lazily by. Tani had just decided that she was thirsty and that
it was time to rest, when up ahead, Jaro came to a stop. “There’s a pool here
if you’re thirsty,” he shouted, as if able to read her mind.

Tani was just about to speed up to reach him when he began
peeling off his clothes. She halted mid-stride, her heart frozen at the sight
of Jaro’s skin as he stripped naked. The muscles of his back were rigid
sculpted perfection. Broad shoulders narrowing to lean hips and an equally
well-crafted backside led to powerful thighs supported by strong athletic legs.
His skin a bronzed, sun-kissed tan that stretched across his muscular frame
without an ounce of fat to be seen.

But what held her motionless, had her heart weeping in
sorrow was the sight of his back, his beautiful skin marred by the web of
ridged scars that covered his torso from the neck down. Each welt a piercing
slice to her chest as she recalled the night at the gladiatorial pits where he
was whipped in front of her. Gaia in heaven! There was barely a part of his
back untouched. The ache in her chest expanded as she imagined what he must
have endured.

Before she could reach him he dived into the pool, the
splash of water surging over the bank, soaking her from head to toe. Shutting
her eyes, she shook the water from her hair. A strange bubble of sound reached
her ears and Tani frowned, struggling to pinpoint where it was coming from.

Her heart spiked in wonder when she realized the source. He
was laughing. The pure joy she heard in that moment touching her in places she
didn’t even know existed. Jaro was laughing! And it was genuine laughter. It
was a beautiful sound. A deep resonating, vibrant laugh that infected her with
the urge to respond in kind. She could have been angry with him for splashing
her but she was loath to dispel his happiness. He deserved some laughter, after
all. Tani rolled her eyes at him from the edge of the water and shook her head
at him as if he were a naughty schoolboy.

“I think I just drank half the pool!” she retorted. “Thanks
for the shower, Jaro.” His eyes crinkled in amusement. “See. I told you I would
take care of you,” he called, disappearing under the surface.

Tani wasn’t sure which way he had gone but the water looked
so inviting and her skin was sweaty from the trek. She quickly pulled off her
shirt but left her vest top on and then hesitated about pulling off her pants.
It was so hot she decided on a compromise, using a knife to cut away the lower
leg fabric, leaving her in shorts. It was hot and the sun would dry them after.
Just as she was about to slide in slowly, testing the temperature of the water
with her foot, a hand surfaced and, grabbing her by the ankle, tossed her over
into the middle of the pool.

More laughter. Tani resurfaced spluttering, brushing her
hair back from her eyes and wringing out the water from her hair. She found his
gaze again and couldn’t help smiling back. Swirling mercury silver, indigo-blue
irises flashing with enjoyment and something else. She knew it was desire. She
remembered a similar look from Lorcan outside the club. They were so alike. And
this same expression from Jaro was engendering similar emotions in her. She
felt her skin heat even in the coolness of the fresh water and the steady beat
of her heart raced to a sprint, pounding out a rhythm that sent sparks like
electrical shocks charging through her veins.

Electricity crackled between them and before she registered
what she was doing she found herself merely inches from his smooth iron chest,
the magnetic pull so strong she couldn’t have resisted even had she tried.

Jaro couldn’t help but stare. Chaos, but she was gorgeous!
Her blazing red hair now dark with moisture lay tangled and wet against her
creamy skin. Amethyst eyes flashed, not with annoyance but with genuine
amusement. He made the mistake of letting his thirsty eyes that had managed to
ignore her presence for the last few hours wander lower down her lithe frame,
drinking in the curve of her breasts accentuated by the wet fabric of her vest.
Taut nipples visible beneath the soaking cloth that melded to her skin—such a
beautiful sight! His cock hardened in agreement. Thank Chaos he was half
submerged!

The desire in his eyes faded as Tani drew close. The
laughter that had escaped so effortlessly as he watched her fall and as it
dawned on him that she was laughing and not angry, morphed into panic. He didn’t
know why he hadn’t resisted the urge to pull her in. He was meant to be keeping
his distance. But there was a thread connecting her to him that just kept on
tugging and that thread had entrenched itself in his heart so deep under his
skin, there was no way of clawing it back.

She drew closer and Jaro thought for a moment he might drop
dead through lack of oxygen. She was breathtaking! Her lithe form now totally
exposed by the clinging wet fabric, her breasts perfectly rounded peaks that
would fit more than adequately into his hands. Pert nipples pearled enticingly
in his direction so that he nearly groaned in agony when she raised her hands
to brush damp hair from her eyes, exposing the flat expanse of her stomach and
creamy smooth skin.

She was biting her bottom lip, expression confused, the
intensity of her gaze probing deep into his soul, almost stealing his sanity.
She was driving him crazy. It took every ounce of effort he possessed to drag
his eyes from those lush pink lips before he sprang backward, splashing her
again as he made for the bank.

Tani choked as water hit her throat, the splash of cold
iciness sending her shivering back to reality. This was Jaro, not Lorcan. He
just
looked
like him. Lorcan was her Esseni partner and Jaro—she needed
to remember what he was. Unfortunately, once her eyes cleared again the sight
of Jaro, naked as he climbed out of the pool slammed into her retina, causing
an instantaneous loss of all lucidity. He was glorious. He turned to face her. “Unless
you’re going to beg me for it, Red, you better keep away,” he growled, lying
down on the grass, relaxing with his hands curled under his head. Closing his
eyes, he let the three Ophiuchi suns worship him. Tani was almost ready to join
them in their adoration, her body shuddering as the rising heat of blood rushed
to redden her cheeks. She had thought the sight of his muscled back stunning,
but nothing could have prepared her for the absolute perfection that was Jaro’s
naked form viewed from the front.

Her eyes traced a path over taut pectorals so smoothly
carved she could hardly believe they were real. Ropes of corded abdominal muscle
led to a dark sprinkling of hair that curled around the spear of his erection,
evidence of his desire. Tani had never seen anything so beautiful. She
swallowed, closing her eyes but failed to block the sight as images of her
hands curling around his solid shaft, her lips tasting the bead of moisture
that crowned the tip, broke into her vision, almost causing her heart to stop.
What the hell was she thinking?

She opened her eyes and he was still lying on the bank but
he had turned to face her, on his side, one knee bent his head resting on one
palm. He was looking at her with concern. “Are you all right, Red?” he queried.
“Enjoying the view?”

Tani caught the faint amusement in his voice. He knew she
was affected by his nakedness and was deliberately baiting her. She decided to
ignore it. They would reach Serpens soon and she wouldn’t have to see him
again. He would go back to being a slave and she would be with Lorcan. A vise
tightened in her chest. Before she could consider that reaction Tani’s eyes
alighted on something that sent her heart skittering, pinpricks of confusion
racing across her skin. Goose bumps.

“Jaro!” Tani exclaimed, her eyes not believing what she was
seeing. She swam toward the bank and pulled herself out of the pool, standing
in front of him to get a closer look. “What’s that on your hip?” Jaro looked
down at the scar on his hip where the flesh had been gouged away. The scar had
almost healed but in the process a small circular mark had appeared, a mark
that was more than just evidence of where the wound had been. “I don’t know.”
He rubbed a thumb over the dark mark. “It’s etched in.”

“It’s a Taijitu,” said Tani. “The mark of an Esseni.” Jaro
frowned.

Tani’s brain kicked into overdrive. “But that’s not possible…”
she whispered.

“Oh yeah and why not? Why shouldn’t I be one? Who’s to say I’m
not an Esseni? I’ve only just discovered I’m a saevici, after all,” he
challenged angrily.

“It’s not that. It’s just…it’s just that your mark is in the
same place as your brother’s—and mine.” Now why had she told him that? It had
taken her days to confess to Lorcan. She waited for the fear to choke her, but
it didn’t. Did she actually trust Jaro not to sell her to the Discordants? She
had stupidly blurted out something that gave him power over her.

Jaro shot a glance at her. “You have one?” Reluctantly, Tani
lifted the corner of her vest, revealing the circular Taijitu symbol tattooed
above her hipbone. “Your brother is my partner duality,” she said slowly. Jaro’s
mercury eyes pierced her gaze. “It looks like we’re a trio,” he said coolly
from beneath raised brows.

“But that’s impossible! Besides, for the Taijitu to manifest
we
have to have kissed and that we certainly haven’t.”

“Haven’t we?” he drawled sardonically, his eyes gleaming up
at her with smug satisfaction as if he knew something she didn’t. Tani stared down
at him as if he were mad. “I’ve only just met you and I really think I would
remember if something like that had happened!”

“Really?” Jaro shook his head. “What a short memory you
have. I for one have very vivid memories of a hot redhead throwing herself at
me in the alley outside the Alpha Beta Club.”

A wave of fire licked over her as Tani realized what he was
implying. “Gaia!” she whispered. “It…it…was you…n-not Lorcan!” Tani’s brain
threatened to implode. If what Jaro was saying was true, then Lorcan had misled
her. Not just misled her but
lied
to her! If what Jaro was saying were
true—
he
was the one who made her burn. A tornado of chaos began churning
in her head. It was Jaro who had kissed her senseless in the alley and then
left her hanging—
his
expression of desire she remembered so vividly.
None of that was Lorcan. Or was it? She couldn’t be sure now which memory was
which. When had it been Lorcan? When had it been Jaro? The bazaar? The brothel?
And why would Lorcan lie? There had to be a reason for it. He was such a gentle
soul. It must have been for her protection. She was so confused.

Tani reached the bank and climbed out, the chill of the
water settling on her skin even though the three suns were hot. Icy panic
chilled her veins, her brain trying to sort through the tangled memories and
make some sense of it. “I have to say, Red.” Jaro’s voice broke into the web of
her thoughts. “Even though you’re a bit skinny for my liking—I did enjoy that
kiss and other things.” He was smirking at her again, lifting two fingers to
remind her how she had responded to his touch, his crude gesture and arrogant
expression stoking her fury at the deception and lies. But then another thought
crashed into her.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, suddenly desperate for
clarity. Jaro’s eyes darkened, his brows furrowed in an angry frown. “You said
his
name.” Jaro’s tone bit into her chest, the raging undercurrent evident. He wasn’t
as indifferent to her as he would have her believe.

“But you could have taken me,” she pointed out honestly. “I
didn’t know you weren’t Lorcan, I…I…” Her voice broke as she realized what she
was saying. “I would have let you.”

Silver eyes captured hers with an intensity that had her
reeling. “When I do take you, Red, I want you screaming my name and no one else’s.”

Tani’s heart lodged in her throat and a churning, fluttering
excitement swirled at her core, heat diffusing a blush to her cheeks. To be
taken by him! Gaia preserve her! She realized, a chill of fear ripping into her
gut, she wanted that. She wanted
him
. And Lorcan? At that moment Lorcan
was a vague indistinct blur and even though they were identical, it was Jaro’s
harsh, beautiful face that filled her vision. “But don’t worry,” he continued,
his words turning the heat in her veins to ice water. “Like I told you before,
you’re not my type—but I could stoop to a pity fuck if you’re really desperate.”