Raging Love (18 page)

I climbed onto the shelf in front of me and started to push open the hatch window. When I got it good enough to slide my body out of, I grabbed
a hold
of the sides and dove for it. My feet dangled against the wall as I used all of my might to pull myself up and outside of the house.

I’d got about half through when I heard someone screaming and then felt the hands grabbing both of my feet. With one rapid pull I went flying
back into the house, falling about seven
feet
down onto the hard ground. The pain of hitting the floor was agonizing and for a few moments I couldn’t even move. Aside from having the wind knocked out of me, I couldn’t shake the tremendous amount of pain coming from my stomach.

“Get her hands,” someone yelled.

I struggled to move away from them, but it hurt to even try to roll. A boot came crashing into my jaw, sending my face and head in the opposite direction it was facing. A ringing started in my ears and although I knew the two people were talking, I could only hear the muffled sounds of voices. I brought my hand up to my ear and it was wet with blood. I brought my knees to my chest and cringed in pain, both from my stomach and my back.

After at least five minutes of them not coming near me, and me lying there in utter pain, someone came over and kicked me in my back once more. I cried out, but there was nobody there to help me. I knew what was happening to my body, but I just couldn’t admit it to myself yet. This was probably going to be my last day on this earth and the fact that my last moments of life were losing the baby that I had wanted my
whole
entire life, well it was
indescribably
terrible.

It was as if all of the visions of me being a mother were disappearing right in front of my eyes. Just knowing
that made me want
to give up. They were destroying my heart, my future, my life.

I managed to put my hand over my bad ear and could hear a
bit
of what they were saying. The female was arguing with the male about taking Tucker to the hospital. The male was saying that Tucker would go to jail for setting fire at the barn and he would be locked up and convicted of my kidnapping as well. The girl was crying and pleading with the guy, almost begging him to reconsider. I heard one of them walking up the steps and
then slamming the door closed.

At first I thought maybe they both had gone up and I just didn’t notice it, but low cries were coming from the opposite side of the room. While covering my face, I turned to see a redheaded girl hovered over Tucker. She was crying and rocking back and forth.

When she spotted me looking at her, I could sense the hate in her eyes. She stood up and walked toward me, but for some reason she just stood there over me, holding her hands over her mouth. She started backing away, shaking her head and repeating the word ‘no,no,no’.

I tried to sit up and she turned around to start walking away. While still crying she turned one last time. “God,
I’m
so sorry. You weren’t supposed to get hurt. This wasn’t part of the plan. We just wanted the money. I swear.” She went running up the stairs and I even heard the front door being slammed shut. Voices could be heard out of the open window and moments later a car started and pulled away.

I don’t know how long I waited before trying to get up, but it was at least ten minutes. Instead of attempting to stand, I crawled over to Tucker’s body to check for a phone first. After searching every pocket, I found the phone, under his body. I wasn’t worried about him waking up. With the amount of blood loss and the way his eyes were open, I knew he was dead.

Calling Colt first would have been pointless. I had no idea where I was. The only way for me to be found would be to have my call traced. I open the phone and hit the emergency button.

“Nine one
,
one what is your emergency?”

“Please help me,” I cried. “I’ve been kidnapped, bound and beaten.
I’m
in a basement and I have no idea where I am.” My voice began to fade and the tears were streaming down my face. “
I’m
having a miscarriage. Please help me.”

The phone fell out of my hands as I collapsed onto the floor. Saying the words made it a reality. I just wanted to die, to just close my eyes and not feel the physical and emotional pain that was tearing through my body. How
could
this have happened to me. What did I ever do to deserve this?

I have no idea how long it was
,
but I finally picked the phone back up to hear the operator still there.

She told me they could search the
vicinity
of where the call was coming from and there were only a couple
of
residencies to search through. I stayed on the line and listened for the Ambulance. As it got closer I relayed it to the operator. When it was
its
loudest, I heard the doors slamming and soon a bunch of voices were in the house. I never hung up the phone, but continued to cry as the emergency crews came down to help me and handle the crime scene.

The paramedics were as gentle as they could be with me, while getting me onto the stretcher and carrying me up the flight of stairs. Police had already started arriving and the yard was full of officers. Once I was in the ambulance and the paramedic was trying to get my vitals, I reached over and grabbed his arm. “Please call my husband. My name is Savanna Mitchell, my husband is Colt. Please find him.”

“We know who you are Mrs. Mitchell. He’s already on his way.” I heard someone say before everything went black.

The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital. I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors. The buzzing in my one ear was constant, and the pain in my stomach was worse. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but my jaw was stuck shut.
A hand on my arm caused me to turn my head. Colt stood there over me. Tear
s
filled his eyes and everything that had happened to me came all back to replay in my mind.

“No! No! No! Please tell me it isn’t true. Please Colt. Tell me it isn’t true.” I pleaded through my tight jaw.
It was hard to talk, but I
couldn’t
help myself from expressing my pain. “Please, God, tell me this is a bad dream. Tell me this
isn’t
real.
My baby…..our baby.
Our.Baby
.”

He knew I was referring to our baby
. I
didn’t
have to keep saying it.
He
couldn’t
look into my eyes, but
as the tears fell from his own
, he shook his head from side to side, right before covering his face into his hands.

He tried to shush me, to get me to calm down, but the tears flooded my vision.
“Try not to talk Darlin’. They had to wire part of your jaw. Please
don’t
cry
, S
ugar.
I’m
so sorry Savanna. I’m just s
o darn sorry.”

Our baby was gone.

There would be no calming down. No being grateful I made it out of there alive. I caused this to happen. The red head told me they weren’t going to hurt me. Me trying to escape is what killed my baby. It was all my fault.

My emotional breakdown became so uncontrolled that the doctors came and eventually sedated me. The last face I saw was Colt’s. The pain I saw in his eyes was worse than anything physical I was feeling myself.

I was in the hospital for nine days. I had a broken jaw, a busted
ear drum
,
two broken ribs and had lost our
baby. To make matters worse, they had to surgically go in and remove the deceased baby from my body. They said I went into shock, but I couldn’t remember anything after the ambulance.

A psychiatrist came in every day and sat with me, trying to console me and get me to be okay with everything that happened. Of course they insisted I was already having PTSD and that I needed to be on a medication regiment until they knew for sure I had recovered fully from what had happened to me.

Tucker had died from blunt force
trauma
to the head. I was never charged on account of it being ruled out self defense.
They never caught the other two people and they didn’t have enough evidence to convict his
mother of being in on the crime. With Tucker Chase dead our family knew that we wouldn’t be bothered anymore.

Our
family was not sad to hear of his demise and I did know that someone like him didn’t deserve to be alive, but it still didn’t help with the repeated nightmares of me killing him. I couldn’t shake what I had done, not even with my therapists help.

For three weeks I stayed in my bed at the house. Colt flew my mother
in to Kentucky
and she stayed with me for two weeks. I barely ate and I never came out of my room. Colt tried to comfort me, but in my eyes I had taken his heart and ripped it to shreds. I couldn’t tell him the truth about what I had done. If he ever found out that everything was my fault, he would never be able to look at me, and especially be with me again.

Our sex life was non-
existent
, in fact, after several attempts, Colt had stopped trying to touch me. I read all kinds of books about self help and losing children, but nothing filled the void of feeling my baby growing inside of me.

After two months, I started to come out of the bedroom. I missed Colt and even though I had this huge secret, I knew he was all I had left. The doctors said that the miscarriage had left a
bunch
of scar tissue and being
able to conceive naturally could be even more difficult than it was before. With all hopes of getting pregnant again almost gone, Colt did his best to coax me into our old life again.

It took about a week for me to get back into my normal routine. I never went anywhere besides the ranch, but my therapist insisted it was a good start. Lucy would get my
groceries
and run errands in town so I wouldn’t have to. Colt spent more time working from his home office and when he didn’t he still came home for lunch and was always home in time for dinner. We still ate in
silence, but we were together, t
aking baby steps to get back to how things used to be.

One morning I woke up feeling like I was at peace for some reason. Colt was still asleep next me and I reached over to kiss him. His lips brushed over mine and he woke up and wrapped his arms around me. It was the first time that I had wanted him since my accident. He slipped the nightgown down off of my shoulders and kissed me gently on my neck. “I miss you so much
,
Darlin
’.”

“Make love to me Colt.”

He gently pushed my head down on the pillow and slipped the nightgown down off of my waist and then my feet. He removed my panties and ran his hands down my naked body. “Are you sure?”

“Please.”

It was more like I was begging him to touch me, like I needed to feel him as close as he could get. I didn’t want to be alone anymore, in fact, I couldn’t
bear it anymore.

His gentle hands stroked my lips right before he leaned down and kissed them. Colt cupped my breast and sucked on it, before removing his boxers and sliding on top of me. It had been so long for both of us. I didn’t want the foreplay, or to take our time. I needed him to be inside of me.

I reached down and felt the girth of his immediate erection. Just knowing he still wanted me made me hot between my legs. There was this burn for him that I needed to calm. I thrusted my hips up, touching his hardness with my naked skin. He groaned and positioned it so that he could slide right in. Colt moaned as he entered me. It was so tight and even hurt at first like our first time had. He went slow, his body trembling over top of me.
I grabbed his naked ass with my hands and pulled him into me harder. His strong arms held his body up from crushing mine and I ran my hands over
the muscles of them. Colt’s gorgeous green eyes found mine and he stared into them as he thrusted faster, picking up the pace to signal he was about to come. His eyes closed tightly and his body tensed up over top of mine. I could feel him exploding inside of me, making me feel like I was full of his love. In hindsight, I knew it was just semen, but at the time, it was pure bliss.

He rolled us over and stroked my hair as he placed gentle kisses all over my face. “God I missed this.”

I wrapped my arms around him and began to cry. “I did too
, B
aby.”

I made Colt breakfast that morning and we drank coffee on the porch while swinging and looking out at the pasture. Sam was already running around chasing squirrels. I felt euphoric, like I had overcome the
treacherous
last bit of months. When my husband left for work, I got myself inside and started cleaning the
house
, and thinking about what we could have for dinner. I turned my favorite music up and danced around as I worked. I had a great life and I wanted to be happy again.