Rainbow Connection (11 page)

“And?” Sally asked.

He and Ceri had decided to date and get to know each other more. The added benefit being that it helped him to go out among other people and even eat in public. Mick still found it difficult in a formal setting. Last night, they’d been to the cinema; it had taken a while to decide what to watch, but not so long to decide to enjoy
The Hobbit’s
adventures from the back row.

Ceri had dropped him off at work in the early evening after the film. They’d even kissed before Ceri had set off again, in front of Ruby and Mary, who’d whistled at him as he went past. Warmth had spread through his insides as he watched Ceri leave.

Sally continued. “So you’re waiting to see if he gets in. You know, having so much money will give you some choices, Mick. D’you think you’re ready to move in together? You’ve only known him a few months, remember. Shit. I said I wasn’t going to do that, but now I sound like your mother.”

“No, believe me, you sound nothing like my mother. For a start, you haven’t used the word faggot or queer, or told me I’ll get AIDS, and anyway, how long does it take to know when it’s right? I knew straightaway with Alfie.” He saw her look. “I know, but it’s different with Ceri, and now I can go anywhere, if my writing takes off, and even if it doesn’t, the company does security all over the place, so I’m sure I could get something.”

“Oh,” Sally said suddenly.

“What is it?” Mick asked.

“Probably nothing, they told me to expect a few twinges. I’ll get us a salad together, all right?” She got up suddenly and cried out, clutching her stomach. Liquid pooled around her feet. “Oh God, my waters have broken. I’m early. First babies are supposed to be late, aren’t they? Aarrghh!”

Mick got up and helped her back onto a chair. “Somehow, I don’t think this one knows that. I’ll call Phil, and an ambulance, and get your bag. Don’t worry. It’ll be ages yet.” Mick was amazed at how calm he sounded.

The same could not be said of Sally. “Since when did you become a bloody expert? Ring. Now. Please!”

§ § §

A few hours later, Mick was pacing the floor of the waiting area. Phil had immediately gone to join Sally on the ward. He’d been in to see Sally briefly, but decided to avoid the real business when the screaming began—that would be taking friendship too far—but he didn’t want to leave the hospital.

“It could be hours yet,” Sally said.

“It’s all right. I’ll stay until I have to go to work.” And so he’d sat outside and drunk far too much hot chocolate—nothing else from the vending machine was even near drinkable. A nurse popped her head around the door. “D’you want to come in? Sally is asking for you.”

Nervously, he entered the room. Sally was sitting up with the baby in her arms. Phil looked just as tired as she did. “We have a daughter,” Sally said.

Mick looked at the screwed up little face. “She’s beautiful, just like her mother. Have you got a name yet?”

“Olivia.” Sally yawned. “Sorry, I’m a bit tired, but I was lucky, I’m told.”

“You did good, Sally.” He shook Phil’s hand. “I’ll get off now and leave you both to it. I assume you’ll be staying in overnight.”

“Not sure, but probably, then we’ll be home some time tomorrow, and the chaos will begin. Sure you still want to stay?”

“Is there anything you need me to do?” he asked them both.

“No, it’s fine. Phil is going to take his paternity leave. Let’s hope she’s not a screamer. And no, your next line isn’t ‘unlike her mother.’ You haven’t been at our place long enough to find that out. Anyway, maybe I’ll have to worry about you and Ceri!”

“And that’s my cue to leave. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest, both of you.”

Once outside, he yawned. He’d had a few hours sleep before lunch, but he obviously needed more. He called Ceri. “Hi, it’s me.”

“Hello, it’s you. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s wonderful. I’m just leaving the hospital.”

“What? Are you all right?”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. Sally went into labour early. She had a little girl who weighed in at seven pound ten ounces. They’ve called her Olivia, and they’re both doing well. Look, something’s happened, and we need to chat about it.” He could almost feel Ceri tensing at the other end of the phone. “It’s a good something. Don’t panic. Can you pick me up at work tomorrow morning?”

“So I don’t need to worry. You promise?”

“I promise. It’s just I need to make some more decisions, and I don’t want to do that without you. You’re important to me, Ceri.” He walked down long hospital corridors as he talked. It was easy now, the conversation between them, and he could feel the spring in his step. His life had changed so much. He had a boyfriend, an old friend had returned, and the money from the flat would give him choices which were his to make.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said happily. As he strolled through A&E, he noticed a woman being brought in by paramedics. He watched them for a moment whilst listening to Ceri talk. Memories of Alfie flooded through his mind. Doctors appeared from nowhere and crowded around the trolley. Slowly the features of the woman’s face settled into a familiar pattern.

“Mum?” He vaguely heard Ceri say something, but wasn’t sure what. He looked again at the woman. She was older and thinner, and her hair was all but gone, but the woman lying on the trolley was definitely his mother. It had been over six years since he’d seen her, or talked to her. He clicked off the phone and ran forward.

“That’s my mum,” he told the nearest nurse. “What’s the matter with her?” The nurse stepped back as they pushed the trolley into a cubicle.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t go in there. Let me find out what’s happening. Just take a seat while we treat your mother’s injuries. She’s unconscious at the moment.” She saw his face. “Look, I can’t tell you anything yet. She had an accident at the hospice. Just take a seat, and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

She was only gone a few minutes, but every moment of his life with his mother paraded across his mind. He regretted what had happened, but his mother had made her choice. Now, she was ill and in a hospice. She hadn’t told him; her hatred of him ran that deep. He almost got up and left, but something kept him there.

“Mr. Flanagan?” He looked up to see the same nurse and nodded. “Would you come through to an interview room?” He sat down where she indicated, and she took the seat opposite him. “Do you have any identification we could look at? It’s just that your mother doesn’t have any next of kin listed, and we have to be careful.”

He got out his security badge from work. “Will this do? I am who I say I am, but I haven’t seen my mother in six years. What’s wrong with her?” He clasped his hands together in a bid to stop them shaking. He was scared. Despite everything that had happened she was still his mother. “I am her son, her only son. My name is Mick Flanagan. Her name is Marie Flanagan. She’s forty-four years old. Her birthday is January twenty-eighth, 1969.” She looked at the information in her hand.

“That matches our records, Mr. Flanagan. Your mother’s had an accident. We think she fell over and hit her head. That knocked her unconscious, and we need to do a few tests. She also has a suspected broken wrist.”

“But you said that she’s in a hospice. You only go into one of those if you’re dying, don’t you? Tell me, please.”

The nurse took his hand. “Your mother has breast cancer. She left it too long to be treated properly, so it’s spread into her bones. She was lucky not to damage anything else in this fall. We’ll treat her injuries, but it’s now just a matter of time. They treated her cancer, but it was too late. I’m sorry to be intrusive, but your mum has been here before and she’s never mentioned you.”

“We fell out just over six years ago when I moved in with my boyfriend, Alfie. She said if I chose him, my boyfriend, then she didn’t want to see me again. Alfie was a paramedic here.”

“Oh my God, that Alfie! He died a few years back, didn’t he? Meningitis, wasn’t it? Really sudden.”

“Yes, he died in a matter of hours. We were together for three years.”

“And you haven’t been back home since?” She paused. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“It’s okay, and no, I haven’t been back. I’m still gay, that hasn’t changed. I thought she still wouldn’t want to see me. How long has she got?” The nurse took his hand. “We’re not exactly sure. She moved into the hospice recently, and reluctantly. She’s still unconscious, probably from the fall. We’ve given her some pain relief and put her on a monitor. We’re going to wait for her to come round and then do some x-rays, but I’ll take you in to see her if you still want to. Just wait here.”

Jumbled thoughts and memories began to assert themselves once more. He should be crying, remembering many of them. His phone buzzed again and this time he picked it up.

“Mick, what happened?” Ceri asked breathlessly.

“It’s my mum. She’s here, they brought her in as I was leaving. It was pure coincidence. She’s dying, Ceri. She has terminal cancer. The nurse has gone to check if it’s all right for me to sit in with her.”

“D’you want me there?” Ceri asked.

“That’s probably not a good idea. I’d better see her first. I’ll let you know, okay? Can you phone work for me and let them know what’s happened. I’ve no idea how long I’m going to be here.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort out everything for you at this end. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The nurse, opened the door again. “I’ll take you to her.” He followed her down some corridors. She pulled back a curtain. Mick looked down at the face of his mother for the first time in years. She was basically skin and bone. There were huge dark circles under her hollow eyes. He wanted to take her hand, but it looked so fragile he thought he would snap her bones. Her other arm was immobilised to protect it. He sat in the chair next to the bed.

“Are you going to admit her?”

“We’re not sure. It depends on how she does and if she regains consciousness. She has a do not resuscitate order, so we wait.”

§ § §

Over the next few hours he sat next to the bed, remembering the good times as well as the bad. He put his hand next to hers and leant his head on the edge of the mattress. He yawned; it had been a long day. The clock told him that it was now the early hours of the morning. Nursing staff came in and out, noting various details. The machine beeped steadily. After a little while, there was a twitch in the fingers next to him. He lifted his head and saw his mother’s eyelids flicker. He pressed the button to call the nurse.

“Mum,” he said as she opened her eyes. “Mum, it’s me, Mick. I’m here.”

She looked at him through dull eyes. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. The nurse came in. “Mrs. Flanagan, you lost consciousness when you had your fall and you were brought here. Your son is here as well.”

His mother looked at the nurse. “Get him out. I’m ill enough without sharing his germs. God knows what he has by now!”

“But Mum, I’m fine. Please let me stay. You’re…”

“Dying! Yes I know that.” She coughed and then spluttered. “Nurse!”

“You’d better wait outside, Mick. I’ll talk to her.”

Mick trudged into the corridor and fell onto the chair. All around him, people continued their lives. He couldn’t handle this by himself. He switched on his phone and texted Ceri.
Please come now.

CHAPTER 16

After what seemed like hours, but was in reality only forty minutes, Ceri arrived in the waiting area of A&E, clutching his helmet and dressed in full black leathers. The outfit, combined with his blue hair, was striking. Many people stared as he approached. Ceri didn’t hesitate; he pulled Mick up into his arms and gave him the comforting hug he needed. Mick didn’t care that part of his mind still said he shouldn’t be hugging a man in public, not anymore. After a couple of minutes, Ceri let him go and took the seat next to him, keeping hold of his hand. Mick knew they must make an interesting sight.

“So did I hear right? Your mum is in here, and she’s dying. It’s been, what, six years since you’ve seen her? Bloody hell! That’s… to be honest, I don’t know what to say. Are you all right?”

“I’m not sure how I feel. It was such a shock to see her lying there. The last time I saw her, she said I was tainted, that I’d always been tainted. I never understood what she meant. I know she had a thing about people touching her. I thought she was afraid of their germs; she said if I was gay, I’d catch things from having sex with men, that normal sex was dirty enough without such perversion. Well, you get the picture. She was pretty graphic.”

“Shit! That’s harsh.” Ceri hugged him again. “I was so lucky. Still, she is your mother, and she may have changed her mind about you. Perhaps, things will be different when she regains consciousness.”

“She has come round, Ceri. She threw me out of her cubicle. Six years have made no difference. I thought as she’s dying, she might want to talk to me, but nothing’s changed. Why does she have to be like this? I’m her only child. For all my childhood, it was just me and her against the world, and then nothing at all. I don’t get it. I know she doesn’t like men much, but your mother is supposed to love you no matter what, isn’t she? Your parents didn’t reject you, did they?”

“No, they didn’t, but perhaps she thought it would always be you and her, and she didn’t reckon on you having a relationship with anyone else. It was probably a bit of a shock to her.” Mick knew he was trying to paint the best picture possible.

“She told me to choose, him or her. I loved them both. Alfie made me see how obsessed she was with me, and that it wasn’t healthy. I thought she’d come around when she saw I was happy, but she didn’t, and now…” He took in a breath to steady himself. “I should have tried to see her again after Alfie died, but I thought she’d just pull me back into that life, and I just couldn’t, even if it meant being by myself. I knew that much at least. God, I’m a mess! I’ve no idea why you put up with me, or why you want me.”

“Fishing for compliments?” Ceri said, smiling. “I could give you a few reasons, but I don’t think this is the venue for that discussion, do you?” Mick looked around. The place was reasonably crowded. Several heads went down to read papers, books, or kindles, as if they hadn’t really been listening to their conversation. Mick saw the nurse coming from the cubicle area.