Raining Light (Fate's Intent Book 5) (21 page)

I seemed to be the first to wake hours before our scheduled time and I laid next to Zayden, wanting to get back to sleep but couldn’t seem to. I sat up a little frustrated by it and saw Ryon still sitting in the back of the room on the floor where I saw him last night with Trever. Only Trever was asleep in his bed now and Ryon was sitting with his knees up and his head resting on his folded arms with Rift next to him.

I got out of bed and snuck over quietly, not to wake anyone else and gently touched his shoulder as I kneeled down. He quickly lifted his head and grabbed my wrist from the surprise. Rift woke up with a growl the exact second he did it.

“It’s all right. It’s me.” I whispered, trying to make sure he didn’t do anything he would regret.

He sighed and released my wrist. “Don’t do that. I could have just broken your arm.”

“Sorry.” He relaxed and so did the pup. “What are you doing over here?”

“Nothing.”

“You have a bed, you know? I made you one. Come on. Get up.” I rose and held out my hand.

“Adele, I don’t think—”

“Come on. You can still get a couple of hours in and it’ll be more comfortable than this.”

He sighed but took my hand, trying to help me lift him up off the floor as best he could but he hasn’t moved from that position in hours that he had to lean back towards the wall to keep himself from falling. “Sorry. It’s been awhile.”

“It’s all right. I’ll help you.” I walked him over to the only empty bed and Rift followed.

He let out an almost agonizing sigh of relief when he laid down on his back. “This is better.”

“You should have been in it last night when everyone else was. Why didn’t you?”

“I’ve just been up thinking about stuff. Sleep seems pointless for me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“It must still be hard on you with losing Kole.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“He was right though. In what he did, I mean.”

“Yeah. I guess. He left with full honor. It’s what he would have wanted. I could only hope to do that too.”

“Don’t say that.” I almost snatched at him while leaning closer and hoped it didn’t wake anyone. “Don’t even start thinking like that. I couldn’t—”

“You couldn’t what?”

“I couldn’t survive if you left me.”

He laughed. “Then I guess it’s a good thing you left me. You made the choice.”

“But you know I still care about you. How many times do I have to say it? I wouldn’t ever want to see you like that.”

He sighed and put his hand up on his head. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?”

“You know what you mean to me. I would do anything for you. You can’t keep streaming me along like this. I know you’re with Zayden and that’s not going to change because you belong together.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to do anything crazy.” I laid with him for a minute, hoping this would help him sleep. He needed it badly. I hated it when he talked all depressed. The last thing I wanted was for him to be unfocused when we’re almost there.

I soon began to feel tired myself and before I actually decided to do anything about it, it was too late. I fell asleep while laying in his arms. It felt like only a second later that my eyes popped open and I sat right up, looking around. All the other beds were empty, even mine and I looked next to me.

“Adele, what is it?”

“I fell asleep! Why did you let me do that?! Zayden’s probably—”

I started to get up and Ryon did right after me with Rift. “It wasn’t my fault. I had no intentions of you falling asleep but you—”

I just sighed and went right outside without bothering to get dressed. I knew how Zayden was going to be and I had to be the one to fix this no matter what anyone else thought.

Ryon was a few steps behind and everyone was standing around with the horses but Zayden was missing.

“Where is he?”

My father’s eyes moved to the east around the shelter and I started to go that way immediately.

“Adele, wait.” Ryon grabbed my arm to stop me but I wouldn’t. “Don’t. He’s probably pissed. You know what that means.”

“I have to and for the last time, he won’t hurt me.” I pulled my arm away and walked around the shelter to Zayden standing on the other side. “Zayden?” His back was up against the wall with his eyes down on the ground but he never responded. “Zayden?” I walked to him and stood cautiously in front of him.

“So, is this game you’re playing still going on? Where you can’t decide who you want to be with?”

Now I was getting worried and stepped closer to him, getting my hands on his chest. “Zayden, it wasn’t like that. He was up all night. I didn’t intend to stay there but I fell asleep. It was a mistake.”

“Is this how it’s always going to be?” He looked at me and his eyes were solid black, his voice clearly held anger. “Every time he needs something, you’re just going to run to him? Because if it is, you can just go back to Kalu with him right now. I will not share you. You know that.”

“Zayden, please. I’m with you. You don’t share me.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?”

“Nothing happen, I swear. It meant nothing. Please, Zayden. You don’t want to do anything that would hurt me.”

He quickly pulled me in close to him by my waist and brought his hand up to my face, moving my hair back so he could see my neck and leaned into it. “Don’t I though?”

A tear fell out of my eye and I had my hands gripping the front of his shirt tightly. “No. You don’t. You promised I would never have to see you like this again.”

He brought his lips into my neck and kissed me softly as I shook in his arms. “And how is any of this my fault?”

“Zayden, please. Don’t. I love you.”

He kissed my neck again with more of an open mouth, just barely grazing his sharp teeth on my skin. I seriously thought he really wanted to. It seemed like he did. He kept breathing deeply through his nose like he was smelling me until he quickly shoved me away from him and sank his teeth into the flesh of his forearm.

He did it so quickly that I didn’t even have time to react and I watched him for only a second before I went back to him and got him to calm down. “Zayden, stop.”

I pulled his arm free of his mouth and he closed his eyes as his body shuttered and slid down the wall so he sat on the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“No. You don’t need to be sorry. I’m the sorry one. I did this.”

“But I let it. I could have hurt you again. I almost wanted to. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”

I felt the worry on his voice and brought his head into my chest, hugging him. “We’ll think of something.”

“And if we can’t? I’ll be too big of a risk for you to be around. Maybe you should go back with him.”

I quickly pulled Zayden back with a look of shock and looked into his eyes that were back to their vivid blue. “Don’t say that! We work through everything. We’ll work through this. I won’t lose you because you’re afraid of hurting me. Don’t tell me to leave.”

“I’m just thinking of what’s best for you. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because I couldn’t control it.”

“But you can. I said we’ll think of something. I’m not going anywhere no matter how much you beg.”

Zayden reached up to me and brought my lips down into his for a quiet simple kiss. “I love you and I am sorry. I shouldn’t have overreacted without knowing. If you say nothing happened and it meant nothing then I believe you. We shouldn’t be fighting now of all times.”

“It’s okay, Zayden. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have.”

“Let’s just put it behind us. I need to focus on controlling this and the trial we’re going to face today. We need to be ready.”

I nodded and stood up, taking a quick glance at Zayden’s arm. “Okay. Just let me go get Jaylyn for you this time and we’ll probably be going.”

Zayden only nodded back and let me walk away to get her.

“You all right?” My father asked.

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. I just need to borrow Jaylyn for a minute.” Jaylyn’s eyes traced the pattern of everyone’s and looked a little confused. I’d expect her to be too. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing to worry about. Come on.”

She still seemed unsure and I was glad that I got help.

“Go, Jay.” Trever said. “It’s okay.”

“All right. I’ll be right back.” She came with me around the shelter to Zayden and immediately saw the wound on his arm. She gasped just slightly and rushed over, getting down beside him. “Oh my! Zayden, what happen?”

“It’s all right.” I said. “He needed to.”

Jaylyn took his arm in her hands and looked it over. “You actually bit yourself?”

“Better me than her.”

“How are you handling it?” Jaylyn put her hand on the wound and her eyes began to glow to heal it.

“Not so well.” Zayden said with a hint of a smile. “It’s hard to control.”

“But we’re going to find a way through it.” I added. “We just don’t know how yet.”

“Trever says it’s like an addiction. He would have to bite something on a regular basis to learn to get control.”

“I don’t think it could just be something. I’ve already tasted blood.”

“Then it sounds like you need it to be a person.”

Zayden sighed. “I don’t want to kill anyone. I just want to be able to control it to the point where I can shut it off at will.”

Jaylyn paused there for a moment while looking down at his arm and her glowing eyes faded away. “What if it was me?”

“What?” We asked it at the same time, shooting our looks to her. I knew what she was asking but just couldn’t believe that she did.

“What if I was that person? Could you kill me?”

“I don’t know, Jaylyn and I wouldn’t want to test it either.”

“Well, how else do you plan to do it? By biting yourself?”

“I could never ask you to even consider it.”

“Well, you’re not asking. I’m offering. There’s a difference.”

“I don’t know, Jaylyn.” I said. “Maybe we need to look into it first. He doesn’t know much about this part of the gift.”

“But Trever does. We could ask him.”

“You’d really be willing to let me do that to you?” Zayden asked.

“If it helps. You’ve had this gift your whole life. You should have had control over it by now. How else are you going to do it? Really?”

Zayden seemed unsure but when he looked at me, I knew what he would ask. “Would you have a problem with that if I could?”

“I want you to get control over it, Zayden so you don’t feel nervous to be with me. I shouldn’t be allowed to care how that happens so no. I’ll be fine with it.”

“All right. Go get Trever. We’ll see what he thinks.”

“On it.” Jaylyn turned with a smile and left us to wait.

“You sure about this?” Zayden asked.

“We don’t need to talk about it. I just want something to work because I’m not leaving you.”

“All right. What’s going on exactly?”

Jaylyn came back with Trever and it had to be explained again.

“You know about this gift apparently better than I do.” Zayden said. “So, we need your advice.”

“Oh, so this isn’t about us all waking up to seeing Adele sleeping in Ryon’s bed instead of in yours?”

“No. We’re passed that as long as people stop mentioning it.”

“All right. What kind of advice do you seek?”

“Would I die if he bit me?” Jaylyn asked.

Trever’s look became a little confused and he looked between all of us. “Why would you want to know that?”

“It’s about controlling it. You said it was addicting. Wouldn’t that mean that he would have to learn how to stop on his own, knowing when was enough.”

“I suppose, not that I’ve experienced it but you don’t have to bite a human to learn how to do that.” There was a pause and we looked at each other. Trever figured it out through reading our thoughts because he looked at all of us again. “Oh, no. You’ve actually tasted it with blood.”

“Is that bad?” I asked. “He did it to himself to keep from hurting me at the lodge then again just now.”

Trever let out a long breath and he started pacing. “Okay, then the problem just made itself worse.”

“How do you mean?”

“Doing it with getting a taste makes it more of an addiction like you’ll do anything to have that again, only this time it won’t just be for the feeling that gets released but for the pleasured taste that comes along with it. You’ll start to think that you need to have it when just the slightest bit of stress comes on but it will more likely be a chronic want for now.”

“But would it be possible to control like turning it off whenever I felt like it?” Zayden wondered.

“Currently now? Probably not. You haven’t done it that much so you’re more like on an uncontrollable path right now.”

“So, doing it a lot more could get him used to it so he can gain the control.” I figured.