Raquel's Abel (28 page)

I sat in the living room alone, thinking about Abel. I knew he was hurting, but he was obviously avoiding me. I could hardly blame him after the way I’d acted toward him.

Grandmother appeared in the doorway.

“Good morning. Where’s Maria Elena?” I said.

“I was feeling so well, I decided to come downstairs without her.” She adeptly grabbed the chrome wheels of her wheelchair and came toward me. She cocked her head. “What has gotten that Abel Rollins in such a state? He looks like he’s bitten into something rancid.”

I looked down at the floor.

“You don’t look any better. Whatever it is, you just need to say you’re sorry. Even if you were right, my dear.”

“Grandmother, what would you say if I sold this place?”

“Sold this place?” She looked around the room. “My father-in-law built this place and dreamed of it being in the family forever.”

I felt even worse. “Abel thinks it should be turned into an orphanage.”

“An orphanage,” she repeated. “What a lovely idea. That’s certainly better than the Communists taking this place over. That’s what happened to Father’s palaces, you know.”

How could my grandmother make so much sense one minute and then be so crazy the next?

“This old house does need children, lots of them. I wanted to have more children, but I wasn’t blessed with more, just your father.” She smiled and looked down at her hands as if remembering holding him.

“I want children, too,” I said more to myself than to Grandmother.

“You are lucky, Raquel. You have true love, not like Regina who, in spite of all her beaus, still doesn’t know the meaning of love.”

“I think Regina will be fine, Grandmother.”

Her old eyes looked right at me. “I certainly hope my youngest granddaughter can overcome her father’s mistreatment.”

“I think she’s about to turn over a new leaf.”

“Raquel, my dear, I must tell you something.” She leaned forward in the wheelchair.

If she mentioned something about the Romanov jewels, I thought I’d break down and cry.

“I sense that I won’t be with you very long, and I want you to do something for me.”

“Grandmother, Dr. Blake says you are perfectly fine.” He’d come over just a few days ago and said her heart was strong.

“Doctors don’t know everything. That’s why my mother counted on her Rasputin.”

“Well, Dr. Blake says you’re fine.”

“When I go, Raquel, I would like you to scatter my ashes over the Moscva River.”

“The what river?”

“The Moscva, dear. It runs right by the place I was born.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Please, dear, I insist you agree with my wishes.” She kneaded her hands together as if she didn’t trust me.

“Grandmother, you know very well you are to be buried beside Grandfather in the vault where all of the other Blankenships are buried.”

“No, no, your grandfather understood and respected my wishes.”

I didn’t like lying to her, but I guess I would since she was suffering from dementia. “Sure, Grandmother, I will honor your wishes.” I wonder if she even realized how far Moscow was from Virginia.

She let out a sigh of relief.

“I was never able to govern my subjects due to those crazy people who took over, but at least I can be a part of Russia when I die.”

“Rest assured, Grandmother, I will make sure you are buried in the country you were born in.” There, I wasn’t actually lying to her. She’d be buried right here in Virginia where she was really born.

Luckily Maria Elena appeared in the doorway. “Good morning,” she said. “Come with me,” she said to my grandmother. “Let’s go get some breakfast.”

I watched her wheel Grandmother toward the kitchen.

I closed my eyes and thought of my mounting money problems. I hadn’t signed the papers because I wasn’t sure. I had to be realistic, though. Money wasn’t going to fall out of the sky.

“Hello,” said a deep voice.

I opened my eyes to see Abel. His shape wasn’t very clear, but I saw that he was wearing his World War I uniform again. “It’s so good to see you,” I said guiltily.

Even though his features were hazy, I could see the hurt in his eyes and the way his face looked pinched in frustration.

“I see that you are considering selling the house to that la-dee-dah school.”

I hung my head. “It isn’t what I want, but I don’t see any way out of this predicament.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but Maria Elena appeared again the doorway. “Señorita, your grandmother, I think she’s…”

“She was fine when she was in here,” I said, then remembered what she’d said. “Oh my God.” My heart beat painfully in my stomach. I ran past Abel and into the dining room.

Grandmother was leaned over in her chair looking incredibly peaceful.

“Grandmother,” I said in a low gentle tone.

She didn’t respond.

“Oh no, Señorita, she dead,” Maria Elena sobbed.

“What happened?” I looked at Maria Elena.

“Nothing, I talking to her and her head fall to the side. She no say nothing.”

I sandwiched Grandmother’s hand between mine. “Grandmother, wake up.” Her cheeks were without color and her hand cool.

My senses swam with confusion and grief. I felt the earth attempt to swallow me.

“Don’t falling.” Maria Elena shoved a chair beneath me.

I fell into it. “You need to call…”

“I make the phone calls, you no worrying.” She ran out of the room.

I straightened my grandmother’s hair, remembering how particular she used to be about her clothing and how she used to go to the beauty parlor once a week before she was wheelchair bound. “You knew this morning that today was the day,” I hadn’t paid much attention to what she said.

“It was her time,” Abel’s voice swept into the room.

I looked up to see a haze that quickly materialized on the other side of the dining table.

“Did she go for the light?” I asked calmly.

Abel nodded, his haze swirling around him.

“Was anyone waiting for her?”

“They were all there,” he answered in a consoling tone.

I envied Abel that he’d seen everyone I missed so much.

“Your grandmother loved you.”

“I knew she was old and I knew she was going to die sometime, but I wasn’t ready.” All I could think of was how I was irritated at her this morning. I should have been nicer. I believed I had so much more time with her.

“I don’t think we’re ever ready to say goodbye to someone for the last time.” Abel put his hand on the back of one of the dining room chairs.

I looked down at her hand that I still had clasped in mine. “Grandmother was worried I was throwing away true love.” Sheepishly I raised my eyes to look at Abel’s.

“She was a wise lady.” I thought I saw his cloudiness take on a little more form.

I laid Grandmother’s hand down on her lap the way she used to let them rest. She was always such a lady. I should be more like her. “Abel, the reason I ran away…”

“Yes.” He stepped closer to the table.

“I left you standing there because I suddenly realized, just at that instant, how much I wanted children.”

“Oh.” His head bowed then he raised his eyes. “And you thought that because I’m an apparition, I couldn’t give you children.”

I trembled inside, hoping he could forgive me for my terrible behavior.

Surprisingly, I saw his expression emanate understanding rather than recrimination.

Maria Elena walked in the room, her eyes red from crying. “They’re here, Señorita.”

Behind her, EMTs marched toward us carrying their medical kits toward us. One of them shooed me out of the way. I stood there stubbornly, not wanting to leave her side, then I realized how absurd that was and walked into the kitchen, making sure I could still see what was going on.

Abel seemed to have disappeared, but Maria Elena wept beside me.

“Don’t worry. You can stay in this house as long as I’m here.”

“I miss her already. She was my family.”

I wrapped my arms around her. Her usually caramel skin was pale and she trembled from her sobbed. “You made her last few years a joy. She so appreciated your company, Maria Elena.”

“She made me feel wanted, something I hadn’t since my father threw me out.” With the back of her hand, she wiped her wet cheeks.

“At least they’re alive. I’ve lost everyone in my family except Regina.” That reminded me. I had to call her. How would she take the news? In spite of the fact she and my father never got along, she’d been devastated when he’d passed away.

Chapter Seventeen

“One of the last things she said to me was about you,” I said as we got into the limousine.

Regina’s eyes were filled with tears. “Really?” She looked at me as if I were making it up.

“Yes. She said,” I faltered. “Grandmother said she wondered if you’d ever get over Daddy’s mistreatment of you.”

“She cared!” Her eyes cleared and she looked at me. “Grandmother
did
care. She actually noticed Daddy didn’t treat me right.” Her voice turned high and thin.

“Of course she noticed. Everyone noticed.” I hung my head. How could my father have blamed a baby for my mother’s suicide?

“And now she’s gone.” She brought her hands up to her cheeks. “It’s just you and me.” She sounded like a child.

I nodded, feeling as forlorn as Regina did. “Everybody’s gone but you and me.” I looked down at the urn that contained Grandmother’s ashes. I stroked its shiny brass sides.