Raunchy 2 (50 page)

MAD
WASHINGTON, DC

The window was broken on my side and rolled down on the passenger side in Kali’s truck. We had the music on blast and the entire block was feeling our vibe. The cool nighttime air rushed inside and brushed against my face. She was wearing my baseball cap and she looked so fucking sexy because she had it pulled all the way over her eyes. The way I wear it.

My hand was under her dress and my finger was inside her pussy as I looked outside the truck to make sure nobody saw what we were doing. My joint was throbbing and she was getting wetter and wetter by the second. Her body was leaned against the door and her feet rested in my lap. I noticed that each time I moved across her button with my thumb, her toes that were painted pink, would spread slightly. She was just about to cum.

“You better stop before they see you,” she said in a hushed tone as she guided the motion of my finger by pushing and pulling on my wrist.
“Like you give a fuck.” I smiled loving the squishy sound her wet pussy made.
“You right.” She smiled. “I don’t give a fuck. So please don’t stop!” She bit down on her bottom lip. Like her mother and for a moment it gave me the creeps. I actually fucked her mother. How crazy is that shit? “I’m almost there.”
We were outside of a DC project and I was drunk and high out of my mind. We were waiting on Wokie’s cousin to come outside so we could go to this party at this restaurant in Maryland. At first I wasn’t with it, believing somebody needed to watch Harmony after what happened with Nook but like most nights we went out, I ain’t give a fuck.
The rest of Mad Max was outside of the truck to the right, dancing, drinking and talking shit. The brick building Wokie’s cousin lived in always had something going on outside whenever we came over. There was never a dull moment and since I liked trouble, I loved her crib.
“Mad, please don’t stop.” She begged. “I’m almost there.”
She was just about to cum when somebody walked up on the passenger side door. I pulled my fingers out of her pussy careful not to touch my face and she pulled down her dress. It was Krazy K.
“Damn, man!” Krazy said holding a lit blunt. “Ya’ll doing it like that?”
“Fuck you want, nigga?” I asked.
“I wanted to see if you wanted to hit this?”
“Naw you got that.”
He palmed Glitter’s head and backed away to rejoin the crew. Kanye West’s voice blasted from the speakers now and everything felt good. Everything felt right.
I was about to go back under her dress when she said, “Naw…we’ll save it for later.”
“Scaredy cat!” I joked.
“You mean scardy pussy!”
I laughed and wondered what I could wipe my fingers on. Since she was looking at what I did with my hand and I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want her juices on me, I decided to let the shit air-dry. Fuck it!
“You still mad at me?” She asked.
“Naw…you said we weren’t together so I gotta believe you really fucked the dude because we weren’t together.” I said doubling up on my words.
“You sure you not gonna revenge fuck a bitch? To get back at me?”
“Naw. That’s not my style. But if I find out you still dealing with this dude I’ma lose it, Glitter. You gotta put these niggas in check.” I told her. “Plus you fourteen. Why you letting these old heads fuck you anyway?”
“Why you driving when you don’t have a license?”
“Bitch, answer the question.”
“Baby, I don’t fuck with niggas like that and I’m not fucking with my ex no more. I told you that. After I came over your house and we got back together I cut him off.” She played with a black thread that was loose on her dress. “His dick was trash anyway.”
“Yeah whateva.”
“I’m serious.” She looked me in the eyes. “I mean, you believe me right?”
I took a sip of my Henny and looked into her eyes. I could smell the scent of her pussy on my hand. It had a scent but it was slight. Not nasty. “You know I believe you.” I paused. “You still got your face don’t you?”
She laughed. “You talk to me different now. Why?”
“I feel different now I guess.” I took another swig. “I seen a lot in my life.” I remembered Vaughn’s dead body. I took another drink. “I guess after awhile you just change how you deal with people. I don’t know.” “Why you drink so much?”
“It’s hard to explain,” I shrugged. “I guess it helps me forget about the parts in my life that hurt the most.”
“Like what?”
“I’m not ready to open up about the kind of stuff I been through. Let’s just say I came up hard.”
“See, that’s why I feel like we’ll never make it. Until you’re ready to be real with me about everything, it’s like we just faking it.”
“We gonna make it, Glitter. I love you. And when you look at me I can tell you love me too. I need that in my life and I don’t want to lose it.”
She looked at me seriously. “Why you love me so much?” She asked. “I be seeing them girls trying to holla at you all the time at school. Especially now since you got your gear together and you wear your hair short and curly.”
“School?” I laughed. “Like I ever be there.”
“When you do go they be on you hard. But you never give them no play. Why?”
“Why, you want me to get with ‘em or something?” She kicked me in my side lightly with her foot. “Ouch!”
She laughed. “Don’t get fucked up, Mad.”
“Babe, I don’t give a fuck about none of them bitches at school. I want a shawty by my side I can be loyal to. I was raised by a whore. It’s not a good look. I want you to have my kid. I want us to raise a family. Together. Marriage and all.”
“But how? You a girl and I’m a girl.”
Whenever this question came up it fucked me up because I didn’t have an answer. All I knew was that I wanted a family and I wanted to be the father of that family. “I’m not a girl.” I told her. “I told you to stop saying that.”
“I know you don’t like me to call you a girl but you are, Mad. And you a pretty one, too. Even with all them scars on your face.”
“Stop saying I’m pretty! I’m serious.”
“Mad! I hate when you talk like that. I love everything about you. Even when you angry with me and your nose flares up.” She joked nudging my arm. “But, baby, you are a girl. You gotta remember that shit because that’s why I’m feeling you.”
“I ain’t trying to hear that shit, Glitter. All my life I was raised like a boy. I ain’t no girl. Just because some doctor tell me what he sees between my legs don’t make shit different!” I took another pull off of my bottle. “I been a boy all my life.”
She raised her eyebrows and leaned in toward me. “What you mean you was raised like a boy?”
Damn!
I fucked up and now she was going to press the issue even further. “I didn’t mean that. Just drop it okay?”
“You gotta hear me, baby,” she paused. “I love
everything
about you. Even that pussy between your legs.” When she said that it made my skin crawl. I hated having anything related to a woman on my body, especially a pussy. “So despite what you think in your head, you are a girl. And you’re my girl. And I love you.”
“Let’s just focus on me and you and eventually getting a place of our own.” I said skipping the subject.
“Yeah okay, Mad.” She paused. She reached for my bottle and I gave it to her. She took a quick sip and handed it back. “Why we gotta leave the mansion? I like it there.”
I didn’t think about it before. I guess I always believed at some point someone would lock me up after they found out what we did to my mother. I still wasn’t sure if I would kill her or not. I’m so fucking confused. If I let her go she gonna tell. I just couldn’t.
Remembering what Rocket said about them rooms in Texas I decided to ask another question. “Would you move to Texas with me? If I left?”
“Why you wanna leave?” She frowned.
“You not answering the question.”
Silence.
“Damn, you gotta think that long, Glitter?”
“No!” She said. My heart dropped. “I mean yes.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t wanna be with me for life?”
“Yes. But I really like it here.” She looked out of the window at all of our friends. Only Sugar was staring in our direction. She was always looking in
my
direction. “I really love our friends.” She waved at Sugar. Sugar waved back and when she wasn’t looking rolled her eyes.
“You not answering the question.” I grabbed her warm hand. “If I had to leave, would you go with me?”
“Yes. I’ll go with you anywhere.” She paused. “It’s just that I really hope shit works out because I love it at the mansion.” After she bopped her head to the music she said, “Why he give you this truck again? And why the window busted out like that?”
“I don’t know why he wanted me to hold on to it.” I lied. “I guess I’ll find out tomorrow. He wants me to come back and scoop him up.”
“You always…”
All of a sudden, everybody to the right of the truck moved in a wave like motion away from it. Their faces looked extremely scared and at that moment it was as if time stopped. What had everyone so fucked up?
“MADDDDDD, ROOOOOLLLLL OUUUUTTTTT!” I heard Wokie’s voice call out to me from the outside of the truck even though I didn’t know where he was.
Glitter quickly moved her legs off of me and looked behind her out the window. Not knowing why everybody was running, I tried to put the car into drive but I couldn’t remember which way to turn the key. When I finally remembered, I was too late. Some niggas ran up on her side of the truck, put a gun through the window and blew her brains out. Blood and meaty tissue splattered on my face, hair and clothes. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt like I would black out. My shawty was actually dead! Some niggas killed my fuckin’ girl!
When her body slumped frontwards, the gunman took the cap off of her head and looked at what was left of her face.
“Oh shit! It looks like a bitch!” He said to another gunman who approached my side of the truck.
Now there was a gun pointed at me on both ends …from the passenger side and driver side window.
“Man, it’s not Kali! FUCK!” the passenger gunman said hitting the top of the truck. “What we gonna do now?!” Then he paused. “We gotta kill this other bitch!”
They had taken her away from me.
My Glitter
. I put my finger against my nose and inhaled. The scent of her pussy was still on me. This couldn’t be real. After everything I’d been through in life I didn’t even get to keep my girl. I didn’t care about anything. What did I have to live for anyway? I hated the woman who gave birth to me, my father wanted nothing to do with me and my sister seemed like she was moving on in life without me. So what did I care if I died today or tomorrow? I was going to be more reckless if I made it out of this shit anyway. It was best to put a bullet in my head. No fuck that put two to my head to make sure the shit is done right. I want no mistakes.
When he said to kill me I leaned my head against the barrel of the gun through my side of the window and said, “Squeeze twice.”
“Oh shit!” the passenger gunman said. “She said kill her so do it!”
The driver side gunman looked at me and then back at the other gunman. Putting his weapon down he said, “Naw…he told us to leave her alone if she was with him. We gotta go.”
“Man, kill this bitch! She a witness. Jace ain’t gonna say nothing if we tell him it was an accident.”
Jace was involved. I hated this nigga on the deepest level now.
“We can’t! Now let’s get the fuck out of here!” With that they ran off leaving me alive and alone.
The block was quiet when their footsteps faded away. I never got what I wanted…even if it was death. My life couldn’t be more fucked up then what it is right now, and I have all intentions on making the world around me feel me on this shit too.

PRESENT DAY
GREEN DOOR – ADULT MENTAL HEALTH CARE CLINIC NORTHWEST, WASHINGTONDC

“Whoa,” Christina wiped her face with a napkin. Although the air conditioner was working, Harmony’s story was getting crazier by the minute. “Did she talk to you after everything happened? I mean, how did you find out about her friend? And how she died.”

“She told me some stuff. She used it as an excuse to hurt me more.”

“Did she always seem so angry? I mean based on your version of the story, she seemed to always be angry with you.”
“She was always mad with me about something or another. I don’t care what I did to do right by that girl, she never was grateful.”
“
She never was grateful?
” Christina smirked. “Ms. Phillips, what did she have to be grateful for? You were drunk half the time and for the longest your children thought they were boys!”
“She should have been grateful for life! For breathing.” She paused and then lowered her voice. “She should have been grateful for life.”
Christina shook her head in disgust. “If what you’re saying is true, that your children should have been able to overcome all obstacles and be grateful for life,” she paused, “shouldn’t you have been grateful too?”
“What do you mean?”
“You make a lot of excuses for things in your life, Harmony. You say nobody ever cared about you, or loved you, yet you turned around and treated your children the same way your abusers did you…if not worse. You’re not taking your own advice and you’re still playing the victim. Even now.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is.” She said in a low tone. “That’s why so many people roam around the world killing and hurting each other. They don’t know how to stop the vicious cycle. To combat hate you MUST LOVE. It’s the only way. You had a duty to love your children and you didn’t do it.” She paused. “Why?”
“I never fucked my kids! Ever!”
Christina was confused. She lowered her head, sat back in the seat and sighed. “I just said a mouthful, and that’s what you got from my statement?”
“Well what you saying?”
“There are lots of reasons that people grow up and treat their children badly, and it seems that the main reason you gave was that you were abused as a child. So what I’m saying is that if you wanted to, if you really desired to be different, you could have broken the cycle.”
Silence.
“Well none of that matters anymore now does it?” Harmony said. “Because during this time, after her girlfriend died, even if I wanted to change she would never forgive me for the past. Ever.”
“You know there was a study done on monkeys some years back, and basically it showed that if monkey babies weren’t held, and given love, they would grow up to be cold and calculating. Disassociated. Turning that study to humans the same remains true. Touch and love establishes trust. Without it, individuals can’t feel empathy for one another. They don’t know how to gage true love versus lust, etc. They don’t know how to show compassion.”
“So you trying to call my kids monkeys?”
“I’m not saying that, Harmony.” She sighed. “What I’m saying is that when you don’t show love, hold your children and show general affection, they can’t express it effectively to other people. They don’t know how because they haven’t been taught. So when they do come into contact with someone who gives them any type of attention, if it isn’t real, they won’t know the difference.”
“I’m not trying to hear all this shit.”
“You don’t have to hear me. Just look at your life. It’s proves my point.”
“Whatever.”
Christina wrestled with the papers in her lap. She said, “Okay, let’s take it another route. How did she react when her girlfriend was murdered?”
With an attitude Harmony said, “Things went to a whole nother level when that girl died. I always knew Madjesty was angry with the world and me, but when she died she started to drink more and be real mean. She became real cold. Like steel. I think the only one who could calm her down at that point was Jayden.”
“Okay, so what did she do after the murder?”
Silence.
“Harmony…” Christina paused, “How did she do after the murder? Mentally?”
“It was like…it was like…everything that happened to her after that night was my fault and I started to pray that God would just take my life because if he didn’t do it, I had plans to do it myself.”
“Okay, Harmony,” she sighed, “Continue with your sob story.”