Ravage Me (11 page)

“I think Cruz is a good fit for you.” Her voice was low but serious.

I stared at her as if she grew three heads, not recognizing the woman sitting next to me. Of all the people, I would have never thought those words would come from her. We’ve always talked about the women of the club and how each had their places. And one of those places was the club momma. These women get passed around from brother to brother as free pussy, and for some reason they loved it. It’s the one role that we vowed always to steer clear of.

And more recently, there were reasons that Casey, nor anyone, for that matter, knew. They were reasons that I locked down deep, and they would fucking stay there.

“What?”

“Cruz is a good guy for the most part,” she said, smiling. We all knew that none of these men were angels, far from it. “He’s great with his kid. That bitch of a baby momma is a pain in the ass, from what I hear, but other than that, he doesn’t have a lot of drama.” She turned facing me. “And he can hold his own against you.” She smiled, and I returned it, shaking my head.

“I can’t. I won’t be a whore around here, who the brothers think they can pass around. I can’t. I won’t.” Casey flinched.

“No one’s saying that.”

“Why the hell are you all the sudden okay with me fucking a brother? Wasn’t it you that sat there and made a pact that we never would. Even doing that stupid cut your finger open blood shit.” She laughed her beautiful laugh.

“Yeah. I was there. We were also thirteen. Things change,” she said blowing out a huff of air.

Breathing in deep, I stared at Casey. She’s been my best friend for so long. If I could talk to anyone about this, it’d be her. “There’s something there. I’ve seen more guys in and out of this damn place than I can count. Not one has done what Cruz has. He sparks something inside of me, something I haven’t felt before. But it was one night, and it will be the last.”

“You don’t have to rush into shit.”

A knock on the door stopped her thoughts. Opening the door, I was surprised to see Diamond standing there. “Yes?”

“Need a minute.” His arms crossed over his chest as if power didn’t already radiate off of him.

“I’ll go,” Casey, knowing protocol, called as I stepped aside letting her out. Whenever the President wanted to talk, we knew the others needed to leave immediately.

“What’s going on?” I asked trying to be calm, but inside my nerves were a bit on edge from this impromptu visit.

Diamond eyed me intently. “We’re going on soft lockdown, except for you and Ma. You two are not to leave this clubhouse. If there’s somewhere you have to be, you take a brother. No discussions…” My anger began boiling over. This was all because of Babs and fuck if I didn’t want to kill the bitch. But I locked my lips as he kept going. “I know you’re pissed Princess, but this is a club decision. It’s what’s best for the club. You want what’s best for us, right?”

Hanging my head, “Of course.” In all my years, in this club, I’d always wanted to make the brothers proud, now would be no exception, even if I hated it.

“Look, Princess, we have dealings with Rabbit and his crew. We need to keep those in mind while we deal with this situation.”

Swallowing my pride, “I understand.”

“Good.”

“I need to go to Studio X and check on shit.”

“Then you take a brother with you… and your gun,” he said as he walked out of the room not looking back.

Cruz followed right beside me the entire way to X. After arguing about who was riding with me, Cruz won the pissing contest when Diamond stepped in, again, ordering him to go. I wasn’t happy, but it was what it was. Ma said she’d watch Cooper, so I’m sure he’s getting spoiled rotten.

Pulling up to X, I was happy to see that the building looked exactly the same as I left it two years ago. The blackened bulletproof windows had the sun’s light reflecting off them. The large X hung above the door, but with it being closed, the bright red light wasn’t shining. Parking my bike near the back entrance, Cruz followed closely. I kept my eyes out but didn’t see a damn thing.

Walking in, the place was eerily quiet. The black walls had red drapery that hung all around the room. There was a large bar on one end and the stage with poles on the other. The black tables and chairs were placed exactly where they should be, filling me with pride. I began this place to help the club bring in clean money, and it has profited greatly.

“Harlow?” Liv called from the office as she ran towards me smiling. “Oh, my God!” She squealed. Liv had been running the place for me this entire time, and from the looks of things, she was doing a kick ass job.

Her arms wrapped around me. “Hey, girl. How’s it going?”

She pulled away, “Great. We’ve tripled our profits, and I brought in five new girls. You’ll love them; they’re hot.” She eyed Cruz up and down, and her sharp intake of breath told me she liked the assessment. “Hey, Cruz.” She gave him a very seductive smile, and damn if it didn’t piss me off, not that I had any right to that feeling.

“You two know each other?” I didn’t want to know the answer, but I loved punishing myself, and if I couldn’t be with him, may as well put salt in the wound.

Liv stepped closer to him running her hands up his chest. It took every bit of strength in my body to keep still in one spot. “Cruz and I…” her words trailed off as Cruz cut in.

“I fucked her a couple of times.” His voice was completely unapologetic.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a sound escaping my lips even though my stomach fell to my feet, and the air rushed out of my body. I didn’t want to feel this way, but fuck if him screwing Liv didn’t make me want to rip her eyes out. Shit.
He’s not yours, Harlow
.

“Wait a minute. Am I missing something?” Liv turned to me, questioning.

Eyeing Cruz, I turned back to Liv. “Nah, we’re good.”

Cruz came up wrapping his arms around my waist as I tried to push away from him. “She’s my ol’ lady. Doesn’t want to claim it yet, so I’m claiming it for her.”

Liv’s eyes grew wide. “I thought you didn’t date brothers? And you’ve only been out for what… a day?”

“I don’t, and I’m not his ol’ lady. And yeah, a day. Let’s get down to business. Let me see the profit and loss sheets and the files on the new girls,” I said, pulling out of Cruz’s grasp as he chuckled.

After going over the paperwork and hugging the girls as they came in, we headed back to the club. I didn’t want to stay all night, and Cruz needed to get back to Cooper.

The clubhouse was pretty quiet, but after last night that was understandable. The guys were drinking at the bar, and Ma was playing with Cooper coloring at the table. A couple of women sat on the far couches but didn’t say a word. The club mommas. I rolled my eyes ignoring them.

“There she is!” Dagger yelled, running up to me wrapping his arms around me.

“Here I am… what’s up?” I walked up close to him breathing in the booze and cigarettes, his familiar scent.

“Things have gotten more interesting with you back, Babe.” His words made me laugh.

“Yeah. I’m sure you had enough going on without me interfering in it.”

Zed came up kissing my cheek. “Princess, this is the most fun we’ve had in a while.”

“What? Watching me beat shit up?” I said rolling my eyes.

They laughed. “Something like that.”

Cruz strolled in. “Get you’re fucking hands off of her.” I didn’t move. He had no rights to me, and he needed to fucking learn that quickly.

“Dude, calm the fuck down. We’ve known her since she was a kid.” Part of me was a little giddy at the whole alpha thing Cruz had going on. I’d really never had that before with a man. Damn these fucking feelings. I. Don’t. Want. Him.

“Pin… ess!” Cooper screamed from across the room. My eyes smiled at the little man running towards me and jumping into my arms.

“You have fun with Ma?” I asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Yep. Me’s got cookies.” I began to tickle his belly as he laughed uncontrollably.

“Where’s mine?” He pointed to his tummy. Lifting his little body up, I began to pretend to eat his tummy, making weird eating noises as he laughed and laughed.

Looking up at Cruz, he had a puzzled look on his face. “What?” I asked.

He lit his cigarette and shook his head. “It just amazes me that the woman who met me blow for blow can turn it off and be what I just saw.”

“What is that?”

“A loving, caring mom.” His words made me freeze, making it difficult to breathe. I slowly walked Cooper over to Ma handing him off, not ready to hear this shit coming out of his mouth and wanting to get away from the audience in the room.

“I’ve gotta go lay down.” Turning, I didn’t stop when my name was repeated over and over; instead I locked myself in Pops’ room. Climbing into my roll on the floor, I laid my head on the scruff pillow as my mind tried to take on the tornado of thoughts bombarding me.

Mom. Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve known this man all of a day, and now he’s talking about me being a mom to his kid? I didn’t know the first fucking thing about kids. Never thought I’d have any. Why does the damn thought excite me? Why does being with Cruz ignite me?

Emotions, I fucking hated them. They always turned me into a blubbering idiot, which was exactly why I’ve stayed away from any type of
relationship.
Made my head feel heavy and crazy. I’d much rather stick to my hard shell and not feel.

A hard knock on the door had me covering my head with the blankets, trying to escape from everything and everyone, but its persistence made me get my sorry, ass up. Opening the door, the oxygen left my body at the sight of Cruz standing in front of me. His tight black shirt fit his body like a glove, showing off every curve of his muscles. His hair was its normal disheveled self, and his eyes were on fire with lust.

My pulse picked up as blood began racing through my body. My heart was about ready to burst out of my chest as the air around us became electrified. Remembering the night before, and the intensity that came from Cruz, I knew I needed him. Dammit.

The sexy smirk gracing his face told me he knew exactly what I was thinking. Shaking myself out, “Whatcha need?” My tone had a small bit of its punch back. When G.T. found us together, I didn’t know what happened to me. I knew I sounded like a sullen child, but in a way, I was. I embarrassed myself, and I didn’t like that feeling. Too many memories started flooding my mind that I wanted to keep locked up, and I needed to get away from him. Time to snap my shit back.

“Talk,” was the only word he uttered, confusing me. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest.

“About?” The defiance came back fully.

“Stop the fucking bullshit. What the hell was that this morning?” His sexy voice washed over me, remembering the words he grunted in my ears over the course of the night while he thought I was sleeping. That voice alone can cause a woman’s panties to fly, so forceful, deep and sexy.

“Nothing to talk about. It was a mistake.” Normally, men would be happy with a one night fuck and leave me the hell alone. But not Cruz for some fucking reason.

“The fuck it was a mistake. You didn’t feel that way when my dick was pushing in and out of that tight pussy of yours.” Wetness seeped out of me from his gruff words. I couldn’t help but get hot as hell when he talked this way. It made every part of me tingle something no man has ever fully done before.

“I’m not one of those women out on the couch. I can’t be.” I steeled my voice, not letting the vulnerability come through. I’d already given him enough of that shit this morning.

“Why the fuck you are so hung up on this shit I don’t know. But you need to deal with it and get the fuck over it. Now. Do you want me to treat you like a whore? I can arrange that. But I don’t fucking want to. That’s the damn difference.”

“What happens when you’re done? I know the rules. I’ll be banned. This is the only life I’ve ever known.” Damn if this man didn’t bring out all my weaknesses even when I tried to hide it. Family. I didn’t want to lose my family.

“First, I ain’t gonna be done. Second, any of these men touch you, I’ll pound their asses down.” He stepped closer closing the door behind him. The room instantly became electrified with a current so strong it was pulling me under. “Third, I didn’t say you were my momma. I said you were my girl, my woman, my ol’ lady. End of discussion.” He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to him. I didn’t want to resist. My body was in such a tornado it was making my head spin.

“You don’t even know me.”

Looking up into his blue eyes, they warmed me, and my insides melted. Dammit. “Let’s go over what I know. You’re strong; you met me blow for blow, stood up to me when no other female would even dare, you’ve got balls of fucking steel, and know how to take care of yourself. And you’re good with my kid, who’s already taking quite a liking to you. Fast. Yeah. But that’s how I live my life. I see it. I take it. I’m taking you.”

Uncertainty ran though me, but my body was craving this man’s touch, craving those magical lips to send me over the edge. Everything around me was swirling out of control. Why the hell was this happening? I’m so damn sure of myself all the damn time, one day with this man, and I’m questioning everything.