Raven (4 page)

"Drug rehabilitation," Uncle Reuben muttered as he chewed his forkful of sirloin steak Whenever Mama and I had steak, it was usually warmed-up leftovers she had brought back from Charlie's. "That's a waste of government money," he continued, chewing as he talked. He seemed to grind his teeth over the bitter words as well as his meat.

"It's not a waste of money if it helps her," Aunt Clara said softly.
He stopped chewing and glared at her.
"Helps her? Nothing can help her. She's a lost cause. Best thing they could do would be to lock her up and drop the key into the sewer."
Jennifer laughed. I looked up from my plate and fixed my eyes on her.
"Stop staring at me," she complained. "It isn't polite to stare, is it, Daddy?"
Uncle Reuben glanced at me and then nodded. "No, it ain't, but how would she know?"
Jennifer laughed again and smiled at me. My meat tasted like chunks of cardboard and stuck in my throat. I stopped eating and sat back. "I'd like to be excused," I said,
"Like hell you will, until you finish that," Uncle Reuben said, nodding at my plate. "We don't waste food here."
Jennifer cut into her steak and chomped down with a wide smile on her chubby face, pretending to savor every morsel. "It's delicious," she said.
"It's not polite to talk with food in your mouth," I said quickly.
William looked up with a gleeful smile in his eyes. Jennifer stopped chewing and swung her eyes at Uncle Reuben. He continued to scoop up his potatoes, shoveling the food into his mouth as if he had to finish in record time.
"I have a homemade pecan pie, Reuben. Your favorite," Aunt Clara said.
He nodded as if he expected no less. They're all spoiled, I thought.
"I got an eighty on my English test today," Jennifer told him.
"No kidding? Eighty. That's good," Uncle Reuben said.
"I have a chance to make the honor roll if Mr. Finnerman gives me a decent grade in math this quarter," she bragged.
"Wow. Hear that, Clara? That's my little girl making her daddy proud."
"Yes. That's very good," Aunt Clara said. "William came home with a ninety in spelling," she added.
William looked at Uncle Reuben, but he just continued chewing with only the slightest nod. "I guess I gotta go get the paperwork done on her," he said finally. "Everything go all right with the school?"
"Yes," Aunt Clara said. "She's enrolled."
"What kind of grades you been getting?" he asked me.
"I pass everything," I said, looking away quickly. "I bet," he said. "Your mother ever ask you how you were doing in school?"
"Yes, she has," I said with indignation. He curled his lips. "She had to sign my report card, so she saw my grades all the time."
"You never forged her signature?" Jennifer asked with a smile that could freeze lava.
"Why? Is that what you do?" I fired back.
"Hardly. I don't have to do that. I pass for real," she said "Daddy signs my report cards, don't you, Daddy?"
"Every time," he agreed. He pushed back from the table and stood. "If she's going to waste food, Clara, you see you don't give her as much to start. I work hard for my money to pay for everything," he added, directing himself to me.
Even though my stomach was protesting, I forced myself to swallow the last piece of meat and another forkful of green beans.
"I
want to catch the news. Call me when coffee and pie is ready," he added, and left the kitchen to go watch television.
My eyes followed him out, and then I looked at William, who was staring at me sympathetically. I smiled at him, and his face brightened.
"I gotta go do my homework, Ma. I don't have to do anything with the dinner dishes anyway, right? You got her," Jennifer said, nodding at me.
"You should still help out, Jennifer?'
"I can't. You heard Daddy. He wants me to make the honor roll. Don't you want me to finish my homework?" she whined.
"Of course?'
"Okay, then," she said, jumping up. "I'll come down later for a piece of pie."
She left the kitchen. Aunt Clara shook her head sadly.
"I'll help," William said. He started to clear the table with me.
"You want to see the birdhouse I built?" he asked me when we were finished.
Aunt Clara smiled at me, happy William was emerging a little from his shell.
"Sure," I said.
"It's up in my room. I made it myself," he said. I followed him up to his room, and he took it off the shelf. It was a triangular-shaped house with dried corncobs attached to the outside.
"I glued all those on," he said, showing me how secure the cobs were.
I handled it gently. "This is wonderful, William It must have been hard to build this from scratch. How long did it take?"
"A couple of days," he said proudly, "As soon as I save up enough, I'm going to buy some binoculars so I can see the birds that come to my house up close. Do you know anything about birds?"
I shook my head, and he went to his desk to get an encyclopedia of birds. It contained brightly colored photos of birds, their habitats, and the type of food they ate. He then showed me another book that had instructions on building birdhouses.
"That's the next one I want to build." He pointed to a double-decker birdhouse.
"That's beautiful. You can build that?"
"Sure," he said confidently. "I'll let you know when I get the materials, and you could watch if you want." "Thanks," I said.
He gave me his best smile, one that truly brightened his eyes.
"I better start on my homework," I told him.
I left, and as I passed Jennifer's door, which was partly open, I saw her curled on the floor, talking on her phone. I paused, and she looked up at me.
"What are you doing, spying on me?" she snapped.
"Hardly," I said. "But I thought you had to do your homework, or are you taking a course in gossip?" I continued down the stairs, my heart pounding. I heard her slam her door closed behind me.
Since the sewing room was so close to the dining room, I could hear Uncle Reuben's
conversation with Aunt Clara while he had his coffee and pie.
"We're not going to go and spend a lot of money on new clothes for her. I want to see if we can get some sort of government help. I think if you take in a kid, they give you some support money."
"She needs things, Reuben," Aunt Clara said softly. "Shouldn't you go back and see what else she has in the apartment?"
"What good would that do? We'd only have to have it deloused."
"You can't just let her wear what she has," Aunt Clara insisted softly.
"Okay, okay, get her a couple of things. But I don't want you spending a lot of money, Clara. We got Jennifer, who needs new things. You see how fast she's growing
_:
"
"Maybe Jennifer will share some of her things with Raven," Aunt Clara said.
He grunted and then added, "If she does, you make sure Raven is clean before she puts anything of Jennifer's on."
"Oh, she's clean, Reuben. She's really a very nice young lady, despite her life with your sister."
"We'll see," he said. I heard him rise. "Make sure she cleans all this up before she goes to sleep. I want her to appreciate what she gets here."
"She does."
He didn't respond. I heard him go back into the living room and turn up the television. Then I went to help Aunt Clara.
"You don't have to do this, Raven," she whispered. "There's not much left. Go do your homework."
"I didn't have that much, Aunt Clara. I have to meet with my teachers for a while after school each day for the next week to catch up. When will we know when Mama can talk to me?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know, honey. Reuben will find out more tomorrow."
"He should have made more over William's spelling test," I mumbled. "And an eighty isn't such a great grade."
She looked at me with not so much fear in her eyes as cautious agreement. "I know," she said. "I've been after him to spend more time with William."
"I'm not so sure that would help," I muttered, mostly to myself. If she heard, she didn't respond. Then she paused and looked as if she saw a ghost. I turned.
Uncle Reuben was standing in the doorway.
"She should do that herself, Clara. You need to come in and rest," he ordered, his eyes burning through me.
"There's nothing left to do, Reuben."
He continued to stare. Had he heard me?
"All right, Reuben. I'm coming," she said. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and left the kitchen. He let her pass, glanced at me again, and then followed her.
From what I had seen already, I realized Uncle Reuben whipped his family around this house with a look, a word, a gesture. He was the puppet master, and they jumped when he tugged at their strings.
I felt as if he was tying strings around my arms and legs, too, and soon I would be just another puppet.
After finishing my homework, I made my bed and changed into the one nightgown I owned. Lying there and staring out through my one window at the stars that popped in between passing clouds, I thought that somehow I had been turned into Cinderella without the magic slipper or fairy godmother. There would be no magic in my life.
Once, I spent my time dreaming about far-off places, beautiful houses, handsome young men, gala dances, beautiful clothes and jewels. I was in my own movie, spinning out the scenes on the walls of my imagination. It took me out of the small apartment.
I had to laugh.
Here I was, out, with a family, going to a new school, and what did I dream of?
Getting back to my small apartment.
I actually grew to like the new school. Because my classes were much smaller, the teachers took more time with me, and I also began to make some friends. Jennifer continued to avoid me as much as possible, but I began to accept it. From what I saw of the friends she had, girls who were mostly like her, selfish, vain, and sneaky, I more than accepted it. I welcomed it. There were much nicer kids to know.
Jennifer was far from the goody-goody she pretended to be in front of Uncle Reuben, too. She was right in there with the girls who smoked in the girls' room, and from what I was told and what I saw, she often cheated on her homework and tests. I could see that her teachers weren't very fond of her, either. Terri Johnson told me she knew for a fact that Jennifer and her friends went on shoplifting sprees at the mall just for the thrill of it. Here she was, a girl with parents, a nice home, and all, and she wasn't any better than the girls I had known who came from broken families and who lived in much more unpleasant places. I wondered what Uncle Reuben would do if he found out any of this about his precious perfect daughter.
One day in the cafeteria, Jennifer paused with two of her friends at my table. I stopped talking and looked up at her.
"You've fallen behind on the laundry," she said. "I need that blue and white blouse tomorrow. See that it's done."
My mouth fell open as I looked from her to the smirking faces of her friends.
"Why don't you wash it yourself, then?" I shot back.
"You're supposed to be earning your room and board, aren't you?"
"What about you?" I countered.
"I don't have to. I have parents," she replied smugly. "Just get it done, or I'll tell Daddy," she threatened, and walked off laughing.
Terri looked down, embarrassed for me.
"She's a spoiled brat," I said. I wanted to say a lot more, but it was hard to talk. My words got choked in my throat because it was tight from fighting back my tears.
"I'd rather live with a snake than that," Terri offered, and the girls at my table all laughed.
"Yeah, well, that's what I'm doing," I muttered, "living with a snake."
When I got home from school that day, I found her precious blue and white blouse in the hamper. Before I put it into the washing machine, I poked a hole in the shoulder of the blouse with the pointed end of my math compass. After dinner on Tuesdays, Aunt Clara and I folded and ironed clothes. She didn't notice the hole in the blouse, and she brought everything up to Jennifer's room. It wasn't until the next morning, when I was sure she was going to wear it just to show off at school, that we heard her scream.
I had already risen and gotten dressed. Aunt Clara was with me in the kitchen preparing breakfast.
"What in the world . . ." She hurried to the foot of the stairway.
Jennifer was on the landing in her skirt and bra, holding up the blouse.
"Just look at this, Ma. Just look."
"What the hell is it?" Uncle Reuben demanded, coming from his bedroom and buttoning his shirt.
"There's a hole in my favorite blouse, and she did it. She did, Daddy!"
She showed him the blouse. He looked at it and then down the stairs at me.
"Did you do this?"
I shook my head. "I didn't even see it, or I would have told Aunt Clara," I said.
"Why would Raven do such a thing?" Aunt Clara asked.
"Because she's jealous," Jennifer cried.
"I don't even like that blouse. It's too old-fashioned, like something a grandmother might wear," I said dryly.
"It is not! Everyone's wearing these blouses. You don't know anything about style!"
"Please, Jennifer," Aunt Clara said, "stop yelling." William came out and looked at everyone, his face full of surprise. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. "If I knew you put a hole in this . . ." Uncle Reuben threatened. He looked at the blouse again. "I don't know how this kind of a hole would get in there."
"Bugs can do that," I said. He looked up sharply. "We don't have bugs, or at least we didn't before you came," he said. "Clara?"
"Oh, I'll just buy her a new one today, Reuben."
"I'd better not see anything else like this," he warned. He gave Jennifer the blouse back and returned to his bedroom to finish dressing. Aunt Clara went back to the kitchen, and Jennifer and I looked at each other.
"You'll be sorry," she said. "I'm going to wear it anyway and let everyone know what you did."
"Suit yourself," I said. "You'll only make a bigger fool of yourself."
I winked at William.
"What are you laughing at?" she snapped at him, and ran back into her room.
For the first time in a long time, I had a great appetite and ate a big breakfast. Even Uncle Reuben was impressed at how I didn't leave a crumb.