Raw Deal (Beauty for Ashes: Book One) (22 page)

“Look at you all wanting to take me home,” I said sarcastically. “I think I’ll go with Michelle.”

“Sorry,” Michelle said. “I came with Jace.”

I lifted my eyebrows. So it was okay for Jace to be alone with Michelle but not me. Did they think I was a rapist or something? “Okay,” I turned to Matt, “I’ll go with you. Yes, I live by school.”

I followed Matt outside to his car. When my mom called me again, I told her I was on my way home now.

The half an hour drive to my house was silent. Matt and I were both lost in our own thoughts. I started crying again on the way. What if the doctors couldn’t save Monica?

My mind went back to when my own dad lay in a hospital bed, just like Monica was now, with tubes, wires, and machines all over the place. We’d been told that he had a pretty good chance of surviving, but he hadn’t survived.

I was glad that Matt let me cry in peace. I hated it when people tried to say something to make you feel better. You couldn’t feel better in situations like this, neither did you want to.

“Will you be okay?” he asked when he pulled up outside my house.

I nodded. “I’m fine. Monica’s the one in a hospital bed. She’s the one that needs to be okay.”

“Yeah,” Matt agreed. His voice was quiet and reflective. “I think I’ll be up all night, telling God it can’t be over for her until she accepts Jesus. That should make Him do something about it.”

I was going to roll my eyes, but I stopped myself. His prayers might work. Who knew? “Well, I hope He’s there, and I hope He listens.” I pulled down the visor and checked my reflection. “I look terrible.”

“No, you don’t. You always look great.”

I glanced at Matt. “Thanks.” I flipped the visor back up and studied him. He was cute, even if in a pretty-boy kind of way.

“What?” Matt asked.

“Michelle likes you.” Matt didn’t answer, and there was no change in his expression. “Is the feeling mutual?” I prodded. “You can’t say no. All the guys like Michelle.”

“She’s a nice girl.”

“Does that mean you like her?”

“She’s just my friend.” Matt ran a hand through his hair making it stick up in odd places. “Can I talk to you about Jace?”

“What’s to talk about?” I unhooked my seatbelt. If he wanted to start talking about Jace, I was getting out. “I saw how you guys got all panicked when he offered me a ride.”

“Sorry about that.”

“I don’t know what you think I’m going to do to him. I’m not about to violate him against his will or anything. I’m not that desperate.”

“The hotel thing was pretty desperate.”

I winced. “I know. I guess I’ll never live that one down. I can’t believe Jace had to announce it at church, though. Geez!”

“But why would you even do something like that?” Matt questioned. “You don’t look like that type. I couldn’t believe it.”

I let my head fall back against the headrest. My head was starting to bang. “Yeah, it was a moment of insanity, inspired by Monica, actually.” I shut my eyes. “Oops, I guess I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”

“She’s not dead.”

“Yet.”

“Words have power, Lexi. Don’t say what you don’t want.”

I opened my eyes and pushed my hair back from my face. “I should let you go.”

Matt started his car. “Lexi?”

“What?”

“Jesus loves you.”

I opened the car door. “He needs to be loving Monica right now.”

Chapter 27

Jace emerged from the school gym dripping with sweat, his shirt slung over his shoulder. He bumped fists with a couple friends, and they went their way. He headed toward his locker, not noticing me approach.

What was his obsession with baring his torso? We all knew he worked out. Did he have to give us evidence at every opportunity he got! I didn’t want any reminders of my evening in his lair. Nevertheless, the flashbacks were coming thick and fast.

I was about to dodge into another corridor when he saw me. He pulled his shirt over his head. “Hey, Lexi.”

Better! Now I could look at him without blushing. “Hey.”

I wished I could tell him that he would have left with a pizza and nothing more, had he come to the hotel last week. But to bring it up would be too embarrassing, and I’d just sound like I was trying to make excuses. We both knew what I’d done was lame, and it was best if we both forgot it.

I caught the smell of his cologne as I walked past. I was sure it was
Joop Jump.
I had bought him that for Christmas.

I snuck out to my car and started making my way to the hospital to see Monica. A lump rose in my throat as I drove. What if I got there and she was dead? That would be too painful, and I didn’t think I could handle it. I considered turning back and going home but I had to see her. I had to know.

I hadn’t been to any of my morning classes. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus, so I’d hidden in the school library alone with my depression. Plus, I was tired. I’d barely slept a wink all night, and it wasn’t the Internet this time. It was worry—and fear.

Life was a joke. Death was the only thing anyone could be sure about, and who knew when it was going to strike? Maybe I should pray. How did you pray anyway? Last night, Tanya and the rest had prayed, mainly with their eyes closed and just like they were talking to someone. They didn’t have a prayer book or anything.

God, please let Monica be okay when I get to the hospital. That would prove to me that You exist.

My heart was in my throat as I parked my car outside the hospital. When I asked at the reception for Monica Williams, I was given a different room number from the one she’d been in yesterday, and I was filled with dread. Monica was in the dead people’s room. I just knew it.

I cursed myself for praying as I pushed the button for the elevator. For all I knew, Monica could already have been dead for hours. I felt sick as I rode to the second floor and then made my way down a long narrow corridor to her room.
Oh God, please.

As I neared the door, I saw a lot of people standing outside it. My heart sank. The whole family didn’t come for someone who was alive. They came when someone was dead, as I had learned from my dad’s death. Family that we hadn’t seen for years had materialized from thin air, crying like they cared.

I saw Monica’s mom, and I went to her. “How’s Monica?” I asked. If she was dead, I wasn’t stepping foot in that room. My eyes filled with tears, and I started crying. “I’m sorry.”

Monica’s mom hugged me tight. “She’s fine. God did it. She’s been awake since around midnight. She’s even been eating, and you know how she is about what she eats. Well, she’s been eating everything in sight.”

I nodded dumbly. Monica was fine. Of course, she was. Still, I couldn’t stop crying. Monica’s mom hugged me again. I felt so relieved that I just wanted to lay down somewhere and sleep. I was so exhausted from all the worrying.

I went into the room to see her. She was sitting up with a fashion magazine on her lap. She pulled a face when she saw me. “Hey, Lexi.”

I hugged her tight. “Monica, I’m so happy.” I clung to her, still crying. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Wow, I didn’t know anyone actually cared about me,” Monica said when I finally pulled back.

“How can you say that?”

Monica’s eyes filled up. “I’m stupid. I know. I was just so fed up, and I didn’t think about the effect that this would have on other people.” I held her hand, and she gave my hand a tight squeeze. “I’m so glad it went wrong.”

I was glad, too. “Just don’t do it again, please.”

“I won’t. I’m really sorry. I can’t believe it. It’s so embarrassing.”

I put my card on the table with the other get well cards. If Monica had woken up at midnight that meant my prayer had been too late anyway—medicine after death, or life in this case.

I sent Tanya, Matt, Michelle, and Jace a text to let them know that Monica was okay. They came to the hospital after school. The word at school was that Monica was sick. No one knew she’d attempted suicide, and they weren’t going to know.

I let Tanya take my place at Monica’s bedside, and I went to the hospital cafeteria.

“Just a coffee, please,” I told the girl at the cash register. I looked up at the menu on the wall. “Actually, make that a latte.”

I sat down at a small grimy table. The grime bugged me, but the other tables were no better. I stared into my drink and blew on it to cool it down. Someone dropped into the seat opposite me. I looked up. It was Jace.

He offered a tentative smile, which quickly disappeared when I didn’t return it. Yep, he was definitely wearing the fragrance I’d bought him.

“Does Cousin Tanya know you’re down here with me?” I asked. I forced a neutral expression, as conflicting emotions tugged at me inside. I wanted to be friends, but I wanted to throttle him at the same time.

“Did you get the Bible?”

“Yes.” I tried to sip my coffee, but it was still too hot. “And yes, I read the bits you wanted me to.”

“So what did you think?”
“One of them scared me.”

“Which one?”

“I can’t remember.” I added a packet of sugar to my drink and stirred. This was uncomfortable. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes properly. I felt low and totally ridiculous.

“Have you been reading any other parts?” Jace asked.

“No.”

“Did you throw it away?”

“No, but I might as well, since I’m not planning on ever reading it again.” My cell phone trilled an ancient Michael Jackson song that my dad used to listen to. I’d downloaded it because it brought back memories, not because I enjoyed Michael’s falsetto.

It was Tanya. “Monica’s asking for you. Have you left?”

“No, tell her I’m coming up.” My latte was too hot to drink quickly. “Do you think I’ll be allowed to take this up?” I asked Jace.

“Why not?”

We went back up to Monica’s room together. Tanya gave us a look, but said nothing. The girl drove me crazy.

***

Monica was discharged from hospital, but she didn’t come to school on Friday. After school I packed up some clothes and went to spend the weekend at her place.

She wanted to shop on Saturday, so I let her take me to Beverley Hills and drag me around all the pop-your-eyes-out pricey shops.

As we were scouring a boutique for nothing in particular, Monica told me she thought she wanted to go to Tanya’s youth group.

“Why?” I asked.

She looked slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know, but I’m not going alone. You’re coming too.”

“No way. When are you going? Tomorrow?”

“No. Tanya said the Tuesday youth group is better. You have to come, Lexi,” Monica pleaded. “Please.”

“Okay, maybe,” I grunted. “But why do you want to go anyway?”

Monica linked my arm and dragged me toward
Escada
. “I just want to try it. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things.”

“Yeah, well, don’t you go getting religion crazy on me, too,” I grumbled.

“Me?” Monica rolled her eyes. “As if!”

Chapter 28

Tanya rolled up in her black Toyota on Tuesday morning, while Monica and I chatted about last night’s episode of
Top Model
. There was one time when I spent a straight two weeks in London working for Moschino, and the model in the hotel room next to mine had bought a
Top Model
box set. Each night we’d dimmed the lights, sprayed my mom’s Prada perfume in the air, and ate ice cream while we watched an episode. Monica seemed to like this idea. We made a date for next week’s show: six o’ clock at my place.

“Hey, girls,” Tanya sang cheerfully, stepping out of her car. She looked cozy in a fluffy white jacket and black neck scarf. Bouncy ringlets tumbled from beneath a black beret.

Monica stared her down. “Why have we got the same hairstyle?”

“This ain’t no hair style. My hair is curly, so is yours. That’s the way God made us.”

“Well, you wear yours in braids. Where are the braids?”

“Sick of braids.” Tanya removed her beret and patted her hair, looking in her car window at her reflection.

“Your hair looks nice like that,” I told her.

“Thanks.”

“I have a math quiz today.” Monica stuck out her bottom lip. “Will you sit it for me since we have the same hair? No one will notice.”

“Sit it yourself,” Tanya retorted. “Are you coming tonight?”

“Coming where?”

“To church.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You forgot,” Tanya accused.

“I didn’t. I’m coming. I even told Lexi.” Monica nudged me, “Didn’t I, Lexi?”

“Yeah.”

“And Lexi said she’s coming.”

Tanya looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Really?”

“No.”

“You said you would,” Monica whined.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Monica looked annoyed. “It’s not proper church, Lexi. It’s just a youth group. You have to come. I don’t want to go alone.”