Raw Desire (11 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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Something close to anger twisted his gut. Why the hell hadn't he made her stay with him all those years ago and work it out? Why had he pushed her away? They'd wasted so many years together.
“What's up, Rob?”
Jackson's calm voice intruded on his tangled thoughts and made him sit back. He had no right to feel angry anymore. He wasn't one of those sad, fucked-up guys who never got over being dumped. He'd moved on, hadn't he? Made a good life for himself. And he had to remember this sexual playtime was just until Ally left him again.
Rob swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “I've got to shower. I'm on the early shift tomorrow.”
He didn't wait to see their reaction to his sudden decision to leave. And he did have an early shift, so he wasn't making shit up. He showered fast and got back into his clothes, all the while wishing he could just go back to bed and hold Ally again. He banged his head gently against the outside of the glass shower door. Stupid, stupid, that's what he was. Why the hell had he pretended this was just casual? He was just asking to be fucking dropped all over again.
When he went out into the bedroom, Ally and Jackson hadn't moved. Rob inhaled the enticing smell of sex, nodded briefly, and left. It was hard to give the impression that he wasn't running away when they all knew he was.
 
Ally stared at Rob's departing back.
“Did I do something wrong?”
Jackson smiled. “Nope.”
“So why did he go?”
“He's got an early shift.”
Ally came up on one elbow and studied Jackson's bland face. “Does he?”
“Yeah.”
“And that's it?”
He shrugged, his muscled shoulders gleaming in the lamplight. “Yeah.”
Ally gave him a hard stare. “You need to work on your communication skills.”
Jackson rolled her onto her back and reared over her. “I communicate.” He kissed her hard, and she slid a hand into his black hair. His knee nudged between her thighs and she tensed. “Let's see if you understand this. I'm going to fuck you real slow now, and you're going to take it just how I want it.”
She pulled out of the kiss and stared at him. Up close, his expression was cool and determined. “Are you sure about that?”
He placed his hand over her mouth. “I'm sure. I want my cock in you.”
She couldn't look away from his almost-black eyes, felt her body stir even as her tired mind tried to form a coherent argument.
He took his hand away and continued to stare down at her. “Have you got anything else to say? I don't want to have to turn you over my knee and spank you.”
A wave of desire flooded her and she couldn't speak. “I don't . . .”
He regarded her seriously. “You keep saying that, Ally. You keep denying that you want us. When you ran away, did you leave everything behind, especially anything to do with sex?”
She moved away from him and sat up, her arms wrapped around her raised knees. “So I tried a different kind of sex. What's wrong with that?”
“Nothing, if it made you happy.” He watched her carefully. “And did it?”
She swallowed hard. “How do you know if it didn't?”
“Happy people don't fuck up their lives with drugs and alcohol. I learned that myself the hard way.”
Ally rested her forehead on her knees. “I wanted to find other ways to get my sexual highs.” She hesitated. “I didn't want to be . . . different.”
“Because you thought that wanting what Rob wanted was wrong?”
Ally raised her head and stared at him. Was that true? Had she tried to force herself into having the kind of sex she thought was normal? And in doing so, had she denied an essential part of herself?
“Come here.” Jackson settled himself against the headboard and motioned for her to come toward him. She found herself crawling between his legs, aware of a new flood of energy coursing through her, the seductive crack of adrenaline and endorphins firing.
“Here's what we're going to do. You're going to suck my cock very gently, and I'm going to spank your ass.”
“Jackson . . .”
He touched her lips with his index finger. “Ally. Don't doubt yourself. Just do it, okay?”
His shaft was already half erect, and she took him deep in her mouth, bracing her hands on his muscled thighs. The first smack of his hand on her ass made her jump. Several slaps followed the first, and she forgot about complaining as she struggled to deal with the conflicting sensations.
Heat gathered in her sex, and she could feel the wetness both the men had left in her trickling down her thighs. She wondered if Jackson could see it, too, and whether he liked it as much as she did. Another slap made her want to clench her teeth against the pain, but her mouth was full of Jackson's rapidly growing cock and she couldn't bite down on him.
She focused on sucking, the only thing she could control and the only thing that kept her from writhing against the sting of Jackson's palm. The slow, gentle rhythm kept her sane, gave her the ability to let the pain sink into her system and lose herself in a red haze. Oh God, she was going to come soon without him even penetrating her. . . .
“Ally.”
She forced herself to open her eyes and looked up at Jackson.
“Tell me the truth. Do you like this?”
He eased his stiff shaft out of her mouth and took his hands away from her body. She remained on all fours between his thighs, her body poised on the brink of pleasure and her mind in chaos.
Jackson tugged on her hair, his voice gentle. “If you don't like it, you can tell me to stop.”
She felt the threat of tears and swallowed hard, tasting Jackson all over again. “Don't stop,” she whispered. “Please don't stop.”
He rolled her onto her back. “That's it, Ally, own it, enjoy it, and take it from me.”
She moaned as her well-slapped ass made contact with the sheets, but then Jackson was on her, his cock poised to enter the swollen entrance of her sex.
He took his time getting inside her, each inch a battle against her flesh, each thrust a gain for him and his mastery over her. She didn't fight him; she let him sink deep, felt every throbbing, thick inch of him as though he were becoming part of her.
When he was buried deep, he caught her chin in his hand. “Look at me, Ally.”
She slowly opened her eyes and let her gaze fix on his face. He looked different somehow. The quiet exterior shredded to show the cool, determined warrior underneath. A man who wanted to be in control, who demanded she submit to him. Not so very different from Rob after all.
“You think I should come now and let you sleep?”
She didn't say anything, just kept watching him through myriad intense physical sensations and mental emotions that crowded her brain. He pulled out until just the tip of his cock was inside her; the drag on her oversensitive flesh made her bite her lip.
“But what if I'm not done yet?”
He watched her carefully as he repeated his slow penetration and retreat until she was clutching at his biceps and constantly moaning. “You'll take me any way I want it.”
“Yes.”
She couldn't deny it, her body open to him, her mind and her pleasure totally in his hands. His palms slid from her hips to her ass, and he shoved his cock deep and squeezed her butt. She screamed into his mouth and climaxed so hard she couldn't breathe. He came with her, his come pouring out, filling her and making her as limp as a piece of water weed.
He pulled out and stayed straddling her, one hand on his cock. “If I wanted to, I could have you again. Make you suck me until I was hard, take me in your pussy or your ass, couldn't I?”
She nodded. There was nothing else she needed to say. He'd proved his point. Taken her to a dark, satisfying place where all she cared about was pleasing him and giving him what he wanted.
“Good.” He kissed her mouth and moved off her.
The moment his heat deserted her, she started to shiver, and he paused. “Hold on, Ally.” He drew her back into his arms and held her until she stopped shaking, until the sudden crash from the high evened out to a pleasing satiated numbness.
He stroked her hair back from her forehead and wrapped her up in her covers. “You gonna be okay?”
She wanted to turn her face into his chest and cry. This was what she craved, this sense of being sexually taken care of. That Jackson understood what she needed, gave it to her and then held her while she dealt with the aftershocks was proof that she'd made the right choice. He wrapped her in his arms and held her close, murmuring soothing nonsense to her until she stopped shaking and started to feel sleepy instead.
Jackson kissed her again and got out of bed. “Hold up, there, Ally. You can sleep after I've helped you shower.”
God, her legs didn't seem able to hold her up, and she was grateful for his care as he held her upright under the water and washed her clean. He wrapped her in a big fluffy towel and carried her back to bed.
“Do you want me to stay?”
She shook her head. It was an effort to form words. “That's nice of you, but I've got to be up really early.”
His smile was full of sweetness. “I don't mind.”
“Really, I'll be okay. You go check on Rob.”
“You're sure?”
“I'm sure.”
He still hesitated. “Call me if you need me, okay?”
She waved at him to go, and he pulled on his shorts, blew her another kiss, and headed out. She wondered if he'd tell Rob what they'd done together and hoped he did. Jackson was right—she had to stop second-guessing herself and just allow the sex to happen. Ally glanced at her alarm clock and groaned. It was already one in the morning, and she needed to be up at five. She fell asleep even as she had the thought.
10
J
ackson eyed Rob over his second cup of coffee. It was the end of the day, and he was preparing to leave for work while Rob had just returned. Sunlight streamed through the half-closed blinds of their kitchen, dappling the work surfaces with bands of glaring brightness.
“What was up with you last night?”
“I told you. I had to work.”
“So did Ally.”
“Which is why you came home straight after me, right?”
Jackson ignored the sarcasm and sipped his coffee. “I stayed to fuck her some more.”
“You seem to be making a habit of that.”
“And it bothers you?”
Rob looked up. “I told you already. No.”
“Remember, you're the one who keeps leaving me alone with her.”
“Sure.” Rob got up and paced the small kitchen. “Ally makes me behave like an idiot.”
“So it's all Ally's fault?”
“Shit, Jackson, whose side are you on?”
Jackson shrugged. “I didn't realize we were picking sides. I thought we were all in this together.”
“Ally . . .” Rob shoved a hand through his hair. “Ally makes me mad—with myself, all right? Mad for letting her walk away.”
“You couldn't have stopped her.”
“I could. You don't know what happened.”
Jackson eyed his oldest friend. “Neither do you.”
Rob held his gaze. “I tried to push her into admitting she was a sub. I tried to tell her that I knew what she wanted, tried to show her.” He sighed. “And that's not how it works, right? She has to give me her trust. I can't just take it from her.”
“So her leaving was a good thing, then, wasn't it? Because she's come back and now she's old enough to know what she wants and who she wants it with.” Jackson finished up his coffee and rinsed out the cup. “You didn't lose anything. You got a second chance.”
Rob studied him, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I suppose that's one way of looking at it. I'm just worried about fucking it up again.”
Jackson picked up his hat and belt. “It's the only way. Stop worrying about the past and concentrate on the future.”
“But Ally's not going to stay, is she?” Rob's expression hardened. “It's a temporary truce so we can all fuck this out of our systems. She'll be out of here the moment her mom's place is sold.”
Jackson paused at the door. “If that's what she wants to do, she'll do it. But I'm not so sure. If we handle it right, maybe she'll want to stay, but you've got to give up all that crap about finding out what happened to Susan, okay?”
Rob's face set into the obstinate lines Jackson knew so well. “Ally won't care whether I find out anything that implicates her mom. She never liked her.”
“If it's that simple, why not just ask her straight out?”
Rob shrugged. “Because this is Ally we're talking about. She'd just get pissed with me, and it would complicate things.”
“You're being a jerk, Rob. Get over yourself.”
Rob didn't answer and Jackson headed out. He'd said all he was going to say, and it was up to Rob to make sense of it. Jackson smiled as he opened the door to his truck. And if Rob messed up again, Jackson wasn't going to let Ally go.
 
Ally walked into the coffee shop and smiled at Nadia, who was manning the counter. It was quiet in the place for a change. The morning rush was over, and the evening crowd was not yet desperate for the caffeine they needed to see them home.
“Hi, Nadia, can I have a small black coffee, please?”
“Sure.” Nadia got busy with the pot. “How are you doing, sweetness?”
“Fine, thanks.” Ally pointed at the blueberry muffins in the glass pastry case. “I think I'll take a couple of those muffins, please.”
Nadia winked at her. “Huh, big spender today.”
“I owe one of them to Jackson Smith, and the other is for me as a treat. I got paid today.” She grinned at Nadia and waved a ten-dollar bill at her.
“You lasted a whole week? The entire town has been taking bets on how long you would stick it out.” Nadia retrieved the muffins and put them in a paper bag. “Half of them think you're doing some reality TV thing and it's a big joke.”
Ally groaned. “I wish.” She studied Nadia carefully. “I suppose everyone has been filling you in on my escapades.”
“Well, I have heard some stuff, but you know what? I don't like gossip and I like you.” Nadia handed the coffee and the bag over with a wink.
“Thanks, I appreciate the support.”
Nadia smiled. “And if a job comes up here, I'll keep you in mind. I pay the same as Lauren, but it's not so messy, okay?”
“Okay.” Ally took her coffee and turned back toward the street. Nadia was not afraid of speaking her mind, and Ally liked that. At least she wasn't whispering behind Ally's back like most people. She was glad she wasn't permanently at the front of the house in the diner. The comments she got and the outright curiosity from some customers as she cleared tables were quite enough to deal with.
Heat burned through the thin soles of her frayed sandals, and she searched for her sunglasses in her pocket. After her shift, she'd stayed too long in town, returning her books to the library, getting essential food supplies, and loitering in the coffee shop. As if she sensed something was going on, Lauren had been extra-sharp with her this morning. Ally sighed. Or maybe that was her guilty conscience.
She needed to talk to Rob and was not too keen on the idea at all. She glanced down at the bag in her hand. But she had an excuse to visit the sheriff's office, didn't she? She owed Jackson a muffin, and she was going to stuff some cash in the bag to repay him for the repair he'd done on her truck whether he wanted the money or not.
It was a relief to step out of the heat and inside the old Victorian building. She asked for Jackson and waited in the cool shadowed hall for him to appear. She smiled as he strolled toward her, and she remembered his hands on her, the feel of his palm on her ass, his cock buried deep inside her.
He met her gaze and she saw he remembered too. Blushing, she held out the bag. “I owe you a muffin.”
“Yeah?”
“Last week I ate the one Rob got for you.”
His smile was slow and lit up his face. “I wondered where that had gone. It was you, was it?”
“Sorry. But here's a replacement.”
He took the bag and stared down at her, then lowered his voice so that only she could hear it. “You okay, Ally?”
“I'm good, thanks.”
“Not too sore?”
She swallowed as his breath tickled her earlobe. “No.”
“That's good.” He stepped away from her. “I'm on till late tonight, so I might not see you until tomorrow. Rob's home, though.”
Ally held his gaze. “Do you think I should go see him?”
His smile was brief. “No, I think you should wait for him to come to you.”
“Do you think he will?”
Jackson shrugged. “He should.” He nodded. “Take care, Ally.”
“Bye, Jackson.”
Ally set off home, pondering Jackson's words as she went. She'd offered herself to Rob, so shouldn't it be her who went to find him? But there should be power on both sides, shouldn't there? Maybe Rob coming to find her was more important.
As if she'd conjured him up, Rob's truck went past her and pulled up on her drive, just as she rounded the corner of her street. By the time she reached the house, he was standing waiting for her. She took her time strolling toward him and admired his tall muscular frame, his light tan, and the calm strength in his pale eyes. His blue T-shirt was stretched tight across his chest and bore the legendary face of Captain America.
She pushed her sunglasses up onto the top of her head. “Hey, Sheriff.”
“Hey, yourself.”
“Is this an official visit? Shouldn't you be hiding your truck and skulking 'round the back?”
His faint smile died. “Why should I? I don't give a fuck about all the gossips in this town.”
Ally opened the front door. “Of course you don't. That's my problem, isn't it?”
He followed her inside and through to the kitchen. He glanced through the open dining room door as he passed by. “Jackson said you found your mom's computer.”
“I haven't had a chance to look at it properly yet. Would you like a drink?”
“Ice water would be good. On your paycheck, I don't suppose you have any beer.”
Ally opened the creaking refrigerator door and scooped out some cubes from the barely functioning ice maker. “I don't have any alcohol, period. It doesn't agree with me.”
Rob sat at the table, one hand wiping his sweat-dampened hair back from his forehead, the other tapping on the scarred oak. He took the tall frosted glass she offered him. “Thanks.”
Ally took the chair opposite him. “So, what's up, Rob?”
He studied her over the rim of his glass. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For disappearing on you like that last night.”
“It's okay. Jackson stayed.”
He winced slightly. “Yeah, so he did.” He met her gaze. “Did he take care of you?”
“He did everything I'm sure you would've done.”
“I should've stayed to make sure you were okay. That's what a good 'dom' does, right?”
“You're asking me?”
“Hey, it's a partnership. We should be on the same page here.”
“But I thought you didn't want to do the ‘dom' thing.” Ally gathered her courage. “You didn't do anything I didn't like, or want, or need, Rob.”
“Even bringing Jackson on board?”
She held his gaze. “Rob . . . you know that was just what I've always wanted. Both of you.”
He put down his glass, leaving a wet ring on the table. “We should've talked this through properly, set limits and boundaries and—”
She reached over and touched his mouth with her fingertips. “We did fine. You were right about what I crave, Rob. I want as much sex as I can get, and I want it even when I'm tired or sore. I like to be pushed. It just does it for me—you and Jackson just make it all perfect.”
He sighed and kissed her fingertips before taking her hand. “Now I feel like an idiot.”
“So what's new?”
His smile warmed her. “You think you're cute, don't you?”
She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “I know I am.” And how amazing was this? Here she was,
flirting
with Rob and admitting what she wanted without feeling like a freak or a doormat. But then she was admitting it to a man who understood her. Perhaps that was what was different, that connection, that . . . trust.
She caught herself about to yawn and covered her mouth. “Sorry, I had a short sleep and a long shift this morning, but I did get paid. I don't know who was more surprised I lasted a week, me or Lauren.”
Rob stood up. “Probably Lauren. She doesn't know how tough you really are, does she?”
Ally stood, too, and smothered another yawn. “I need to shower and sleep for a while before I tackle my mom's computer.” She glanced at him. “Do you want to stay?”
“I wish I could, but I've got to put in an appearance at court this afternoon.” He hesitated. “Maybe I could come back and bring some pizza or something? I'm not due on until midnight.”
“I have to go back at nine, but you're welcome to come over around six, if you like.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He came around the table and kissed her mouth. “You taste like coffee and sex.”
Ally kissed him back. “So do you.”
He smoothed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “We're all straight, then?”
“As straight as you want us to be—apart from all the kinky stuff.”
He smiled again, and she loved the sight of him relaxing, the dimple on his left cheek, and the flash of white teeth. She was proud of herself, too, for being able to appreciate him and yet stand her ground. Did he like that too? Was he glad that she'd found the strength to match his?
Ally let him out of the front door and then went straight to the shower. She felt better than she had in months. She had money in her pocket that she'd earned with her own sweat, a place to call her own, and two men who wanted to make her feel good.

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