Raw Desire (6 page)

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Authors: Kate Pearce

BOOK: Raw Desire
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“Sure it is.” He nodded at her. “Now you're old enough to decide if that's what you want too. You've been so brave about dealing with all the other stuff in your life. How about dealing with me too? I'll be waiting, Ally, so make up your mind.”
“What happens if I say no?”
He considered her for a long moment. “I won't form a posse to drive you out of town, if that's what you're worried about.”
“You'll just let me go?”
All the animation left his face. “I can't force you to stay, Ally.”
She watched him leave and locked the door after him, her emotions in turmoil, her body berating her for not inviting him into her bed and having the best sex she'd ever had. But it
wasn't
that simple. She had to understand what she was getting into, and despite what Rob said, they had a history that would surely interfere with his notion of a clean slate of remorse-free sex.
Ally wrapped her arms around herself. What would submitting to Rob reveal about her, and did she really want to take the risk of finding out? Since Rob, she'd steered clear of any man who'd wanted to boss her around in bed.
She washed her hands and stared out the window. But she'd be doing it for Rob, not for herself. It was only sex after all. She'd fought so hard not to be a doormat in all the other areas of her life that it felt like giving in to Rob was a betrayal. But was it? She eyed the key he'd left on the table. Didn't making that choice for
herself
reaffirm her own independence?
And he was giving her a choice. That at least, she believed. This time she'd be going in with her eyes open, not feeling like some frightened eighteen-year-old who'd had no idea how to deal with Rob's demands. And she wanted him, wanted him to make love to her so badly her whole body shook with it.
 
Rob walked slowly back to his patrol car, aware that his cock was hard again and that he wanted to turn around and beg Ally to let him into her bed. But he was done with begging and done with the past. He needed her to make a choice. Why couldn't they simply start fresh, pretend they were strangers just interested in a quick fuck with no strings attached?
A dog barked as he came close to someone's back fence, and he almost jumped. His admiration for Ally grew. The thought of her struggling to deal with drugs and alcohol without much support made him wish he'd been there for her. But he knew from talking to Jackson that choosing to get clean was something that had to come from within.
Had his behavior contributed to her issues? Perhaps he'd been too intent on making her into what he wanted her to be. He'd thrived on her adoration and her desire for him. Hell, any teenage guy would've been the same.
“Rob!”
Rob looked up from his contemplation of the fence to find Jane Evans smiling at him. He'd forgotten she lived in this neighborhood. “Hey, Jane, how are you doing?”
“I'm just fine, Rob. What are you doing out and about this fine evening?”
“Just checking up on the development. We've had some reports of graffiti and broken glass.”
Jane patted his arm. “That would be at the Kendal house. Poor Ally has such a lot to put up with.”
Rob looked her over. “You're okay with Ally being back?”
She squeezed his bicep. “Of course.”
“You don't bear a grudge for what happened to Susan?”
“Oh, Susan.” Jane shrugged. “I've already told you I think she was stupid. I would never have allowed myself to get into such a state over a guy, especially over Jackson.” Her smile was inviting. “I'm glad Ally left town and left you behind.”
Rob gently disengaged her hand from his arm. He'd been out with Jane a couple of times and found her good company, but he hadn't taken her to bed. Sunny do-gooders were never really his type, and she was supersunny today.
“Well, good to see you, Jane.” He nodded and started walking toward his patrol car. She followed him, which he noted was back the way she'd come.
“There's a new movie opening in Grandstown tonight. Do you want to go?”
He fitted his key in the lock and opened the car door. “I can't tonight. I'm working, but thanks for the offer.”
She smiled. “No worries, I'll catch you another day. See you around.”
He started the engine and watched her walk away, her soft floral skirt swinging over her nicely rounded ass, her long dark hair blowing in the breeze. There was no doubt she was easy on the eyes and she never took offense when he said he had to work, which, in his profession, was a good thing. He never felt pressured by her either; they had a good time, they both went home, and that was the end of it.
Rob sighed and looked over his shoulder before pulling away from the curb and heading back to town. Pity he couldn't fall in love with Jane, when she'd make it so easy for him. Ally really had a lot to answer for. He smiled. She'd obviously made prickly and defensive his thing.
6
A
lly wiped her hands on the back of her jeans and walked through the open door at the rear of the diner. She coughed as the stench of cooking oil competed with the smell of cleaning products and caught at the back of her throat. Everyone in the small space appeared to be busy, so she waited for someone, anyone, to acknowledge her.
After a while, one of the two guys looked up, and she smiled at him. “Is the boss here?”
He nodded and pointed to the rear of the space. “She's back there in the office.”
“Thanks.” Ally squeezed past him and headed toward the rear of the kitchen where a tiny office had been created out of one corner of the rectangular space. The door was half open, but she knocked on it anyway.
“Yes?”
Ally froze as an all-too-familiar figure swung around to stare at her. “Hey . . . Lauren. How are you?”
Lauren sniffed. “What do you want?”
Ally wanted to turn around and run for the hills, but that wasn't possible, and besides, she was tired of running. Time to face up to another of the people she'd hurt. “I came about the job.”
Lauren raised her eyebrows, her expression very reminiscent of Rob's. “You want
me
to give you a job? Why the hell should I give you anything?”
Ally let out a long, slow breath. “You shouldn't and I'm sure you won't, but seeing as I'm desperate, I'm still asking.”
“You're desperate for a job? Why don't you go and ‘model' or something?”
“Because I'm too old?”
“That's hardly my problem, is it?”
Ally leaned against the door frame and jammed her shaking hands into her pockets. “You asked why I needed a job, and I just told you.”
“I want someone to bus tables. I'm sure you wouldn't want to soil your beautiful hands with that.”
“I've done it before. It's hard work, but I promise I'll be reliable.”
Lauren stood up, her brown eyes fixed on Ally. “I bet you wouldn't last a week.”
Ally held her gaze. “How about you give me a try? If I don't make it, you get to keep all my wages.”
Lauren stared at her for a long while. “Okay, then.”
Ally straightened up. “When do you want me to start, and how many hours will you need me?”
“Don't get ahead of yourself. I'll give you your ongoing schedule tomorrow when you start, but expect to be getting here early and leaving late.”
“I wouldn't expect anything else,” Ally murmured, and Lauren's head came up.
“I don't need any attitude from you, Ally Kendal. I'm only doing this so I can enjoy watching you fail.” Lauren rummaged in her desk. “Fill out this paperwork, and bring it back with you tomorrow before you start your first shift.”
“No problem. What time do you want me here?”
“Five-thirty a.m. sharp. Don't be late.”
Ally folded the papers in her hand and turned to leave. “Thanks, Lauren. I really appreciate it.”
“Don't try and be nice to me now, Ally. You've done too much damage in this town to ever change my opinion of you.”
The venom in Lauren's voice made Ally feel sad, but she forced herself to turn around. “You have every right to hate me, Lauren. I know ‘sorry' isn't going to cut it, but it's all I can offer you. I behaved appallingly and hurt a lot of people—you included.”
Lauren sat back down and swiveled her chair around to face her computer screen. “I'm not interested in your attempts to make me feel sorry for you. Just turn up, do your job, and leave. Okay?”
Ally went then, fighting an urge to defend herself. She and Lauren had once been so close that even Rob had been jealous. And that was all gone now, destroyed by her desertion and inability to face her own demons. She'd do what Lauren wanted, though. Keep to herself, do her work, save her money, and get out of town.
The guy who'd shown her where the office was looked up as she went by him. She was at least six inches taller than him. “Did you find her okay?”
“Well I
found
her.” Ally forced a smile. “Thanks for the help.”
“Sure.” He wiped his hands on his apron and regarded her speculatively. “I'm Mike, one of the grill cooks, but everyone calls me Fig.”
“It's nice to meet you, Fig.”
He followed her to the door, his bright smile undimmed. “Have you just moved here? You look familiar somehow.”
“I have to go. I'm sorry I can't stay and chat.” Ally kept moving. She got that a lot, especially from men who seemed to have the image of her writhing around in her underwear from the billboard ads seared on their collective consciousness. “I'll be working here, bussing tables, so you'll get to talk to me again, I promise.”
His smile blossomed into a grin. “For real? That's cool. I'll see you tomorrow, then.”
Ally escaped down the street and headed for the library only to realize it was far too early for it to be open. She slowed her walk and gazed at the upcoming façade of the Easy Breezy Coffee Shop. Did she have enough for a cup of coffee? She sure needed one, and it would make the wait for the library to open go quicker. She fingered the coins in her pocket and guessed she had at least two dollars.
She pushed open the door and was enveloped in a welcoming cloud of smoky roasting coffee with just a hint of burned chocolate. The smell was so heavenly she breathed it in and smiled. A quick check of the board and a more detailed inspection of her coins indicated she had just enough for a regular coffee plus tax.
The shop was crowded, and she joined the back of the line, her height making it easy to count the six people in front of her. While she waited, she scanned the odd collection of notices pinned to the crooked board, which advertised everything from organic produce to lost puppies to poetry recitals. She even spied something about AA meetings that she'd have to check back on. Spring Falls had always had a great sense of community spirit, and it seemed nothing had changed.
As Ally's gaze drifted back along the cluster of tables, she realized that she'd become the focus of some attention. She caught her name being whispered, and several pairs of eyes swung in her direction. With all the grace she could muster, she willed herself to look forward and ignore her growing sense of unease.
Why did it take so long to order coffee these days? Why did everyone have to have these crazy-ass complicated specials? At last she hit the front of the line and smiled at the woman behind the counter, who thankfully she'd never met. The woman had the name NADIA embroidered on the top of her blue apron and appeared to be in her late forties.
“Hi, I'd like a small coffee, please.”
“Just coffee?”
“Yes, please.”
Ally dug out her small pile of coins, handed them over, and waited for the woman to get her coffee. “Thanks.”
“You're welcome.”
Ally turned and headed for the station where the milk and sugar were provided. She was just about to reach for the milk when someone collided with her, spilling the hot coffee all over her hand and down her leg.
With a hiss of pain, Ally dropped the half-empty cup on the table and grabbed a handful of napkins to blot the worst of it away. She thanked God she was wearing jeans.
“Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.”
Ally looked up into the sneering face of Pauline Jones, one of her old classmates. “Yeah, right.”
“Are you suggesting it was deliberate? What are you going to do? Call the cops on me?”
Ally tipped cold water out of a jug onto a bunch of paper napkins and placed them on the heated flesh of her hand.
Pauline tittered. “Oh, no, you won't do that, will you, because Rob Ward's not exactly going to help you out, is he?”
Ally ignored Pauline and concentrated on soothing the raging pain in her hand. Somehow it was easier to deal with that rather than facing yet another confrontation. She was still shaking from her encounter with Lauren. Vaguely, Ally wondered if the woman behind the counter had some ice and whether she'd let her have any.
She jumped when a familiar voice behind her said, “Here you go, Ms. Kendal.” A jiffy bag full of ice appeared over her shoulder, and she pressed it against her throbbing skin.
Rob kept his hand on her arm as he spoke to Pauline. “Now, what were you saying, Ms. Jones? Are you admitting that you deliberately dumped coffee on Ms. Kendal, because whatever you think of me, if you've committed a crime, I'll do my duty whoever the victim is.”
Ally swallowed hard. “It's all right, Sheriff. I'm sure it was an accident.”
Pauline made a rude noise and turned on her heel. She left the coffee shop, followed by two other women who looked vaguely familiar. Rob took Ally's elbow and maneuvered her into the chair Pauline had vacated.
“Are you all right, Ms. Kendal? Do you want me to call an ambulance for you?”
“Please don't. I don't have health insurance, but thanks for the thought.” She resettled the bag of ice over her hand. “I'm sure I'll be fine in a moment.”
Rob hesitated beside her and then turned back into the crowd. Ally didn't watch him go; she just concentrated on mastering the pain in her hand and the sickness Pauline's openly confrontational attitude had started. She'd been a fool to come back here. A fool.
“Ms. Kendal?”
She looked up to find the woman who'd served her the coffee offering her a fresh bag of ice. “Thanks,” Ally said. “I'm sorry about the mess.”
“That's not a problem.” Nadia indicated Ally's hand. “Are you all right?”
“I'm sure I'll be fine. It just caught the back of my hand, so not much damage done.”
Nadia reached forward and patted her shoulder. “Now you just sit there and make sure you feel all better. I'll get you another cup of coffee.”
Ally didn't argue. She was quite happy to wait for the shop to return to normal and for everyone to stop staring at her like she had risen from the dead or something. Rob took the seat opposite and pushed a paper bag over to her.
“Here. Eat something.”
Ally peered inside the bag and saw a chunky blueberry muffin topped with sugar crystals. Her mouth watered at the sight, and she ripped open the bag and slowly peeled back the paper case.
“Let me help.” Rob reached across and broke the muffin in half, right through the middle, and handed her the bottom part. “I know how you like it.”
“I always eat the boring part first.”
He smiled. “And save the best until last.”
“Unless you got to it first.”
“I never did get that ‘saving it' thing.”
His voice had a soothing quality that helped Ally relax a little. “I'd forgotten about Pauline. I can't believe she's still hanging around with the same two losers from high school.”
“I guess some folks find it hard to grow up.”
“Obviously.” Ally lifted her chin at him. “I guess you think I should leave before it gets nasty, right?”
“I don't want to see you get hurt.”
She met his gaze and found it impossible to guess what he was thinking. Had she done that to him? Had she stripped the sweetness away and left him too emotionally detached to risk another relationship? Or was it just a cop thing? Jill would tell her not to exaggerate her importance in his life, but then Jill had never known Rob.
“But I can't leave, Rob. I created most of my own problems, and I'm just going to have to deal with them.”
“Even if you get treated like that?”
“Yeah, even then. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on. I
chose
to come back here, and I knew it would be hard.”
“I know all about getting on with life, Ally.”
She bit her lip. “I suppose you do.”
He shifted in his seat. “What are you going to do when you sell the house? Go back to New York and model?”
“Nope.” She ventured a tentative smile. “I'm planning on going to college.”
“Yeah?” He looked genuinely interested. “To do what?”
She shrugged. “To train to be a teacher. I've been helping out with the kids at the YMCA for the last couple of years, and I think that's what I want to do.”
“You always wanted to be a teacher.”
“You remembered.” She met his gaze. “And you always wanted to be a cop.”
His smile made her smile in return, and she couldn't look away from his approving gaze. Remembering her plans for the future always made her feel better about herself. Hell, having plans that didn't involve finding her next fix were amazing. She suddenly felt a lot more hopeful.

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