Ray of Love (Lifestyle by Design Book 3) (17 page)

"Don't worry," she assured a clearly apprehensive Angela. "I'll call Steve first before he gets here."

She trotted back to their table to grab her phone.

"Everything okay?" Ray asked.

"Yes," she replied with a bright smile. "I just need to call someone. I'll be right back."

Her hands were clammy as she went outside to be extra sure Ray didn't hear her conversation with Steve. She didn't want Steve to come. It would mean trouble in paradise for her and Ray if he did.

So far, she and Ray had enjoyed a wonderful three and a half weeks together since Evan's exhibition night at the gallery. But it was evident he was still very jealous of Steve. The one time she innocently mentioned Steve while she was telling him about mutual friends of theirs, he got up from the couch in anger. He said he couldn't understand why she needed to mention her ex in front of him at all. It took a lot of loving and cajoling before he was back to normal.

"Faye!"

She paled at the sound of Steve's voice. He was there already, pulling an overnight luggage with one hand and holding a small, nicely wrapped gift box, complete with a pink bow, in another.

"Steve, what are you doing here?" she asked in near panic.

"Hey, is that the way to greet a friend who came all the way from Adelaide to wish you happy thirtieth?" he asked with an engaging grin.

She smiled at him contritely. "I appreciate you going to all this trouble, Steve. Really, I do. But you should have told me first. Ray's here."

The smile remained on Steve's face but his eyes lost their warmth. "Great. Can't wait to meet him."

"No, please. Ray's still not comfortable with you. I'm so sorry to have to say this but … I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here tonight."

Steve's face dropped. "But I came here specifically for your birthday. This dinner was my idea."

"And if you told me you were planning this, I could have saved you the trouble," she responded with some irritation.

Seeing the hurt look in his eyes, her annoyance dissipated, replaced by the desire to give him the closure he appeared to need.

"Why did you plan this, Steve?" she asked him quietly.

Steve swallowed as she gave him her don't-give-me-the-bullshit stare.

"I want to win you back," he admitted.

She smiled at him regretfully. "I'm sorry. But you can't."

He inhaled deeply and looked away. "Are you sure?" he queried.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm sorry," she whispered. She was remorseful that she had to break Steve's heart. She cared about him. But she was in love with Ray.

Steve stared at her for a long moment before voicing his acceptance of the situation. "Right. Well, I guess I'll call Pete and see if he and Lisa are free for dinner."

"Thank you."

"I was going to give you this," he continued as he held up the small gift box he had in his hand, "but it might be a bit inappropriate now. So if you don't mind, I'll take it back with me."

She nodded.

He gave her a sad smile. "Bye, Faye."

She reached out to give him a hug, which he returned warmly. "Bye, Steve. Take care of yourself."

"You, too," he said then he walked away.

Faye watched Steve for a long moment, wishing him well with her thoughts. With a sigh, she turned around to head back into the restaurant, only to freeze on the spot.

Ray was standing by the doorway, his face etched in barely repressed anguish, his hands fisted to his side.

*******

Ray went out of the restaurant to look for Faye, only to find a blonde-haired man holding out a gift box for her before she nodded and reached up to envelop him in a tight embrace.

His world stopped. He couldn't have forgotten that face even if he wanted to. How could he when the last time he saw him, he was pashing Faye. And now he was hugging her.

Blood roared to his head, dimming his vision for a second. Thankfully, the other guy walked away from his girl. There was no telling what he would have done had he lingered around.

His anger was quickly engulfed by lancing pain in his heart as he watched Faye follow Steve with her eyes.
She
hugged him and now she was staring at his back.
Was she pining for him?
Suddenly, he was having difficulty breathing.

He shut his eyes tightly while he took a slow, deep breath. When he opened them, he shut the lid on his emotions. If he didn't, he would lose control and he could end up screaming his lungs out like a maniac or bawling his eyes out like a baby.

Faye turned around and he saw the stunned look in her eyes. She walked up to him warily.

"Ray. That was, uh …"

"Steve. I know," he responded in a deceptively low voice. "You know what? I think it might be better if you have dinner with your friends by yourself."

"What? What do you mean?" she squeaked.

"I can't stay. I'll just ruin the night for you."

"No! Wait. Come with me." She took his hand and led him back inside.

He tried to take his hand away surreptitiously but she grabbed his arm and linked it tightly with hers, making it impossible to extricate himself without creating a scene. He didn't want to embarrass her, so he reluctantly allowed her to lead him back to the table.

Five pairs of eyes looked up at them expectantly. He was about to sit in his chair in resignation - it was her birthday dinner, after all - when Faye made a surprising announcement.

"Hey, guys, we're very sorry but we have to go. There's something we have to attend to immediately. I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you guys lunch or dinner next week, but I'm afraid this is really, really important."

"No problem," Angela replied hastily. "Don't worry about us. You guys go."

Faye gave them a grateful smile and dragged him back out.

Shit, this is bad. Is she breaking up with me?

They walked silently back to his car. Faye's grip around his arm had loosened but she didn't let go completely.

His mind kept running different scenarios in his head, the majority of them too painful to contemplate.

"I'm sorry about that," Faye said, startling him.

He gave her a sideways glance. "Sorry about what?"

She sighed somewhat exasperatedly. "Steve being there tonight."

He frowned. The guy obviously came direct from the airport. And he showed Faye a gift-wrapped present that was undoubtedly for her. But Steve left with the box. Did that mean they were meeting up later so they could celebrate together? He forced himself to ignore the swift punch in the gut he felt at the thought.

"What are you thinking?" she asked warily.

"That you could be breaking up with me." He wanted to sound casual and unaffected and he believed he succeeded.

"What?" Faye asked in shock as she stopped in her tracks and stared at him in utter disbelief.

The purely incredulous look on her face made him relax a little and release the breath he didn't realise he was holding. But fear still clutched at his heart.

"Aren't you?" he quizzed, forcing himself to sound nonchalant.

"No! The dinner was Steve's idea. Angela told me when we got there. I went out to call him and ask him not to come because I had a feeling you wouldn't be happy with it. But I never thought you'd think I'd break up with you," she said in a hurt tone.

"So you're not?" he asked, allowing a little hope to creep out.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ray," she cried in frustration, "how many times do I have to tell you that Steve and I are over? That I love you?"

He took a deep breath and allowed some tension to leave his body with his exhale. "It's just hard for me to believe that when it comes to him," he said quietly.

"Why?"

He pulled her in his arms and kissed her hair. He didn't want to look at her face when he told her his reason. He didn't want to see any confirmation of his fears.

"Because even though you've broken up, your love for him while you were together must have been greater than what you have for me right now."

She leaned back to gaze at him, frowning in confusion. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for starters, you'd been together for a year and we only started going out two months ago."

"Ray, Steve very clearly told me he wanted to win me back. I told him just as clearly he couldn't. Because it's you I love, not him. You. Do you understand that?" she asked forcefully, poking her finger at his chest. "It doesn't matter how long I was with him. I love you more than I ever loved him. Do you understand?" she repeated, her eyes moist and challenging.

Ray's face split with a relieved smile. "Yes, baby, I understand."

"You better," she sniffed. "Why do you doubt my feelings for you?"

"I don't doubt your feelings for me. I know you love me. I just assumed that what you felt for him was stronger. But I'm happy to let go of this subject now." He captured her mouth and kissed her tenderly, oblivious to the passers-by that walked past them.

Faye returned his kiss, pushing away the whisper of disquiet that lodged in her mind from this whole episode.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Faye stirred from her deep sleep and instantly reached across the bed for Ray. He shifted slightly when her arm curled around his chest. Gingerly, so as not to disturb him, she placed her head on his shoulder and cuddled closer against his naked body.

"Hello, baby," he said groggily as he wrapped his arms around her and promptly went back to dreamland, no doubt still exhausted from their passionate lovemaking from a few hours ago.

She smiled and placed a tender kiss on his chest. It was wonderful sleeping and waking up next to Ray. She wished she could do that every single night and day, not just on weekends and occasional weekdays.

Sometime soon,
she hoped as she closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep. But her mind had other ideas. It took her back to her conversation with Ray on the street last night. It reminded her she was bothered by something he said. What was it? She tried to recall what it was that nagged her.

"Even though you've broken up, your love for him while you were together must have been greater than what you have for me right now."

Faye's forehead creased in thought. She still wondered how Ray came to that conclusion.

"Well, for starters, you'd been together for a year and we only started going out two months ago."

That was a ridiculous reason, of course. If she was to compare her feelings for Ray to her feelings for her past boyfriends, her love for Ray won hands down. Simply put, she loved him with all her heart, completely and utterly. No matter how much she questioned how it could have developed so quickly, it didn't change the fact that it did.

Surely,
he
wasn't questioning the strength of
his
love for her based on their relatively short time together.

Or was he?

Was his misapprehension of her feelings for Steve based on his own personal experience?

She jolted in Ray's arms. He mumbled but didn't wake. With careful movements, she freed herself from his embrace and laid on her back, staring at nothing in particular in her darkened room. She remembered another thing he said.

"I don't doubt your feelings for me. I know you love me. I just assumed that what you felt for him was stronger."

Ray loved her. She knew he did. But was his love for her less significant at this point, compared to how he felt for someone in his past? Did he still have strong, lingering feelings for one of his exes?

And why the hell did he sound detached when he said he thought she was breaking up with him? Why wasn't he more upset at the possibility, even if it wasn't her intention?

She had the sudden urge to wake him up and get those questions answered. Her earlier concern was fast becoming a full-blown ache in her chest, as if her heart was being squeezed tightly by unmerciful hands.

She tossed and turned on the bed, hoping to wake him up without making it look like she did it deliberately.

Finally, he stirred and draped an arm around her waist.

"Hi," she said softly as she shifted to face him.

He gave a low rumble in response, keeping his eyes shut.

"Are you awake, honey?" she prodded.

Another rumble.

"I can't sleep."

"What's wrong?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Don't know. My brain's wide awake."

"Just close your eyes and try to sleep."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm."

"Who has been your longest girlfriend?" she asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"I said who has been your longest girlfriend?"

His eyelids fluttered open. "That's a strange question at this time of the night."

She let out a chuckle, trying to keep it light. "Well, I just realised I know nothing about your past relationships, while you already know about Steve."

"You want to talk about this right now?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm interested in everything about your past," she replied lamely.

He gaped at her. "Sure, but do we have to talk about this now?"

"Well, for starters you can just tell me who you've been with the longest," she pressed.

"You won't let me go back to sleep until I answer you?" he asked with a hint of a smile.

"No," she breathed.

He shook his head in amusement and sighed in resignation.

"The longest I've been with was Alison Costa."

Her heart froze. Alison. The photographer he had invited to work with him again.

"How long were you together for?"

"Um, about ten months or so."

"Oh, almost a year."

"Uh-huh."

"When did you break up?"

"Eighteen months ago."

It didn't escape her attention that Ray didn't even have to think about that answer. He knew it straight away, as if he carried it around in his head every day. She felt a painful pinch in her heart.

"Is that it? Can we go back to sleep now?" he asked drowsily as he closed his eyes.

"What about the girlfriends you had after her?"

"What about them?"

"How many were there before me?"

"Um, three, if you could call them that."