Authors: Elmore Leonard
Tags: #Men's Adventure, #General, #Mystery & Detective, #Fiction
T
he morning of the day of the meeting, God told Pervis he ought to use Dewey Crowe as honey to attract the insects.
Pervis had sat almost bolt upright in bed. God’s message was in his head, so he knew who the bugs were: Casper Mott and others who wanted his mountain, Big Black. He phoned Rita, Rita having everybody’s number.
She said, “It’s tomorrow I’m coming, not today.”
“I know,” Pervis said, “I want to make sure I’m home from Cumberland and hear you come in the door sayin, ‘I’m ho-ome.’ I get that tug in my groin. What I’d like you to do, locate Dewey Crowe and let me know where he’s at.”
Rita said, “What is it you need fucked up?”
See how smart she was?
Rita was back in a minute. “He left word he’s in Harlan. Will be at the Dairy Queen from noon on, takin orders.”
“Oh yeah, he’s sellin whiskey.”
N
oon on the dot Pervis called Dewey’s cell. Dewey, no life in his voice, said, “Yeah?”
Pervis said, “That’s how you answer a phone?”
There was a pause. Dewey came back on showing life.
“Is this Uncle Pervis I’m speakin to?”
“You recognize my voice.”
“Yes sir, and pleased to hear it.”
“You goin to Cumberland tomorrow for the meeting?”
“What meeting’s that?”
Pervis said to the nitwit, “The one at the high school. Am I gonna see you there?”
“Yes sir, I was thinkin of goin.”
“Boy, what’re you doin in Harlan?”
“Sellin hooch I get in Cumberland and mark up.”
“You doin all right?”
“I clear least two bucks a fifth.”
The boy needed help, bad.
Pervis said, “Since I lost my two sons, you’re the only Crowe left to carry on what I consider my life’s chore. You understand what that is?”
“Is that true? I’m your only kin?”
“I’m not leavin you my business,” Pervis said. “I’m referrin to my property, Big Black Mountain.”
There was a silence.
“Sir, you telling me you own Big Black?”
Pervis believed everybody in East Kentucky knew it but this moron. Pervis said, “I do, and when I’m gone the mountain’ll be entrusted to you.”
“I’m gonna own it?”
Nervous excitement in his voice.
“Do anything I want with it?”
Already close to selling it off.
“You have to promise me,” Pervis said, “you won’t ever part with it. Casper Mott finds out you’re gonna inherit my mountain, he’ll have me run over by a coal truck and work on you to get it. I’m gonna let him know today there’s no chance of his buyin it off me.”
Dewey said, “Casper Mott, he’s already rich as kings.”
“The day you sell Big Black you’d be richer. But I’m countin on you to preserve the highest peak in Kentucky for the enjoyment of the people livin here. You have to promise me, Dewey . . . you listenin?”
“Yes sir?”
“You won’t ever sell it. You’ll pass the mountain on to your heirs”—if the moron ever had any—“with their promise they won’t sell it either. You give me your word on it?”
“I get the mountain when you’re gone?”
“It’s how it works you inherit somethin.”
“But I can’t make any money off it?”
“You want your mountain stripped of its majesty?”
You bet he did.
“I’ll meet you tomorrow in Cumberland,” Pervis said, “in front of the high school. I want to see you wearin a clean shirt, a suit if you have one and no gator teeth. Boy, you’re heir to the richest mountain in the state of Kentucky. How’s that make you feel?”
Dewey said, “Well, yeah, Jesus.”
“You won’t say a word about it this evening.”
“No sir.”
Like hell he wouldn’t.
N
oon there he was in a borrowed suit too big for him, no gator teeth showing, standing by the school doors checkin out girls’ asses.
Pervis got out of Casper’s limo and hung back, letting Casper go on ahead with Ms. Conlan and Raylan. He saw Raylan take her arm and she brushed his hand away. Casper had said before she got in the limo what he’d like to do to her. Suck her toes, play around with each little piggy with his tongue . . . Pervis asked him did he ever lick his way up to think of havin sexual intercourse with Ms. Conlan. He said Oh sure, lots of times. Pervis believed Casper would try to set him up for Ms. Conlan, who’d make the pitch for his mountain. Pervis wouldn’t mind hearin it even though he’d give the mountain to Rita when the time came and she’d hold on to it till she got tired of hearing offers pitched at her and finally pick the best one. She’d have dudes comin at her and she’d set one or two aside for fun, fun bein the girl’s nature. He’d like to see what Raylan’d do if Rita ever came after him. There was Raylan stayin close to Ms. Conlan in the crowd, Casper tryin to keep up.
Pervis waited for Dewey to spot him and come pushing past people to get to his old uncle.
“You all dressed up,” Pervis said. “You feelin good?”
Dewey said, “Yes sir, I’m proud you’re trustin me with the mountain.”
“I’m
en
trustin you with it,” Pervis said. “That don’t mean I trust you.” Let the nitwit chew on that. “I have a heart condition,” Pervis said, “can kill me any time it wants. I’ve seen my will lawyer and put you in for the mountain. But you’re not gonna tell anybody about it, are you?”
Dewey said, “No sir, I’ll swear to it on a Bible.”
“Say this wop gangster has you. Gonna stick your hand in a fire less you tell him your secret.”
Dewey was shaking his head.
“No,” Pervis said, “what the wop says, he’s gonna cut your nuts off and feed ’em to the squirrels you don’t tell him.”
It seemed to give Dewey pause, till he squared his narrow shoulders in the borrowed suit and said, “Uncle, this here’s nobody’s business but mine.”
T
hey sat in the crowd and listened to the first part of the meeting, Pervis with Dewey next to him, bored, squirming, Pervis directing his attention to Ms. Conlan softening her accent for the boobs sitting here listening. She gave Raylan the floor and he pulled the rug out from under her, Pervis thinking, Good for you, boy. But it wouldn’t hurt Ms. Conlan none. The way she’d see it was coal miners looking for a hero. She wasn’t solving disagreements, she was the coal company.
The first part ended and Dewey asked Pervis if he’d like a drink, he had some whiskey in his car.
Pervis said, “We’ll have one and then I’m goin home.”
“But you come in Casper’s limo,” Dewey said, “you don’t have a car with you.”
“You’re right,” Pervis said. “I’ll take yours and leave it at the Dairy Queen.”
C
arol sat with Casper in his limo having a cigarette while the tree huggers, sworn enemies of mountaintop mining, presented their arguments to the crowd in the gym.
Casper said, “How you gonna give the company side you don’t hear what they’re talking about.”
“They’re saying shame on us for letting our mountains go bald,” Carol said. “Our beautiful countryside gone to hell. Twelve hundred miles of streams filled with debris. Waste dumped on their homes. I’ve heard it.”
“They gonna throw flooding at you,” Casper said. “Cut down the forest they’s nothin left to catch the rain, soak up the water. You know animals are coming down from those bare-ass mountaintops? Foxes, skunks, coyotes. Fella told me he has to put his garbage on the roof of his house, keep it out of reach of bears.”
Carol said, “Really, there are bears?”
“Blasting causes damage to homes in the area, cracks the foundation—you have a house close to a mining operation—she can depreciate on you ninety percent. This home bein all the man’s got.”
“Coal’s his life,” Carol said, “in his family for generations. I’ve already talked about more work. Give us the mountains and we’ll give you jobs.”
“You don’t have enough to offer. Man’s out of work, falls behind in his payments, the bank takes his house. You gonna get health questions too,” Casper said. “More kids gettin asthma, all the coal dust in the air.”
“But a lower incidence of black lung,” Carol said, “mining from the top?”
“I suppose,” Casper said. He watched Carol light another cigarette off the one she was smoking. “I know you want that parcel a thousand feet from Big Black’s summit.”
“I don’t see that coming up at the meeting.”
“Everybody knows you’re sneaking up on the mountain, the jewel in the crown, known to be fulla coal. I bet it’ll be a question thrown at you. Gonna talk to Pervis about it?”
“As long as I’m here.”
“Like it isn’t your only reason.”
“I’ll open his eyes to possibilities.”
“Open his fly,” Casper said, “he might make you a deal.”
S
he had told Raylan to wait by the car, outside. He asked how close he should stay to it. She looked at him—maybe she couldn’t think of anything good to say, so she didn’t. Carol got in the limo. After a while Casper came out, said hi and went behind the limo to take a leak, hitting sheet metal, Raylan wondering if Carol was supposed to hear him. Casper said hi again and got back in the car.
This was when Dewey Crowe came out of the school lighting a cigarette.
R
aylan walked up to him saying, “Dewey, I saw you in there during the meeting, but couldn’t make up my mind what side you’re on.” He didn’t appear to know what Raylan meant—for the mine company or against it—so Raylan said, “I saw you hangin out with Pervis, the old man treating you kindly, putting his hand on your shoulder?”
“Pervis says I’m like his son,” Dewey said.
“Which one, Dickie or Coover?”
“Neither. He said I’m like a son he never had.”
“You seemed close, Pervis smiling, and he isn’t known to smile much.”
“He’s got a kin now,” Dewey said, “to look out for his property when he’s gone.”
Raylan said, “Who’s the kin?”
“Me,”
Dewey said. Got his voice normal again and said, “I’m his heir when he passes. Me and some colored girl he uses for his wants but no kin to him. I’m his only relation he knows of.”
“Both of you Crowes,” Raylan said, but at some distance from each other. “Where’s old Pervis? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“He took my car and went home. Actually,” Dewey said, “I offered it to him, Pervis wantin to get away from people botherin him about property I’m due to inherit.”
“You’re telling me,” Raylan said, “he’s leaving you Big Black when he’s gone?”
Dewey grinned. “I didn’t say it, you did.”
“I get it,” Raylan said. “Pervis doesn’t want you to tell anybody.”
“Not till he passes. I’m not to dare think of sellin it either.”
“Trusting you with his mountain.”
“
En
-trusting me.”
“Well, hell,” Raylan said, “you need to get home, don’t you? Ask Casper to give you a lift, or Ms. Conlan. They both have limos, plenty of room.”
“I don’t know either one to speak to.”
“Tell ’em you’re Pervis’s kin,” Raylan said. “That ought to get you a ride.”
He watched Dewey approach Casper’s car and knock on the window. Raylan heard him say he was looking for a ride back to Harlan.
Heard him say he was Dewey Crowe.
Heard him say Pervis was his uncle.
“Pervis Crowe, same as mine. The one owns Black Mountain.”
It got the limo door to open, Casper stepping out with a gesture, please, for Dewey to join them.
T
hey had him sit next to Carol in the dark, Casper taking a seat he flipped open to face them. Carol saying, “Dewey, really, Pervis Crowe’s your uncle?”
“He is,” Dewey said, “and I’m the only kin he’s got. I come out of Florida—he knows they’s Crowes down there, see, but never heard from any of ’em. I come up here and introduce myself, I see the old man’s eyes fill up as he takes me to his bosom and hugs me. He said, ‘You have come at a time in my life when I most need a kin.’ ”
“Why is that?” Carol said.
“I took it to mean his end is near, his tired old heart telling him he’s a goner fore too long. You know Pervis has this colored girl worked for him years? He’ll leave her something, any trinkets he has from the time he was married.”
“But he’s surprised,” Carol said, “an honest-to-God kin has shown up? Why does he believe you?”
Dewey said, “Why wouldn’ he?” not liking her tone of voice. “We both Crowes. He knows some of his people live in Florida. I come here wearin gator teeth, he knows I’m a Crowe from down there.”
“And proud of it,” Carol said. “Let’s say he believes you. If he’s giving trinkets to his former cleaning woman, what’s he giving you?”
“None of your business.”
She smelled good, but Dewey did not like her tone.
Carol said, “Casper, how much have you made selling your mountains?”
Casper said, “How many million? You ought to know. M-T Minin checks pay all my bills. Bought me a house, this car.” Casper said, “You ever hear of a limo can go a hundred and forty miles an hour? Get out on the highway, anywhere you go, it’s a trip.”
“What engine you got in her?”
“I think they just did a job on the one’s in it.”
“I got a ’87 Hornet,” Dewey said. “Leaks oil.”
Carol said, “What’s Pervis drive?”
“An old Ford with a blower.”
Carol said, “Pervis is a sleeper.”
“He’s got more money’n God and never shows it.”
Carol said, “He told you he’s leaving you his mountain?”
Dewey grinned. “I didn’t say it, you did.”
T
he next thing they were telling him to leave, Ms. Conlan asking would he excuse her? She had to get ready to go in there and talk, okay?
Casper jumping out and held the door open, Dewey feeling Casper’s hand on his shoulder.
“Casper will give you a ride sometime in his souped-up limo.”
Casper shrugged.
“You get the mountain we’ll give you a hot limo just like it,” Carol said. “Bye.”
Casper hopped in and the door closed.
Dewey turned to see Raylan standing there watching.
“You hear her?”
“Some,” Raylan said. “I think what she meant, she isn’t sure you’re gonna ever own the mountain.”
“I never come out and told her I was.”
“She reads minds.”
“I didn’t care for her tone a voice,” Dewey said, “like I was the help. She offered me a ride home, I turned her down. It wasn’t easy. I begun sniffin her perfume, I’d be sniffin her all the way to Harlan. But I prefer people that believe me I tell ’em somethin, they don’t put on airs.”
“You told Carol you’re gettin Black Mountain?”
“I never come out and told her. I let her figure it out once I said I’m Pervis’s heir.” Dewey frowned then like he was in pain. “I hope my Hornet don’t quit on him, have the old man irritated at me the time he’s got left on earth. I feel I got to take care of the old man, see he leaves with a smile on his face.”
Raylan said, “You goin up to Stinkin Creek?”
“Pervis ain’t been there since his boys were kilt. He took a property off Piney Run, mile or so north of Harlan. Pervis says he can’t look at the bloodstain all over his rug, remindin him Dickie and Coover are gone.”
“I think he’ll find peace,” Raylan said, “never having to worry about them again.”
“Hey, they were harum-scarums, I
know
that. Still, it’s hard to lose your boys,” Dewey said, “you watch ’em grow up from tads. It can break your heart you let it. Pervis’s got that colored girl comes to visit.” Dewey shrugged, shaking his head. “It takes all kinds, don’t it? They’s always things about people hard to figure out.”
“You have to walk a mile or so in their moccasins,” Raylan said, “before you understand where they’re coming from.”
“You say so,” Dewey said.
Raylan watched him shrug and walk off in his Doc Martens.
R
aylan walked up to the limo and knocked on the smoked window.
“You know there’s a whole gym full of people waiting on you?”
The window rolled down.
“I’m waiting for them to get restless,” Carol said, “so I can calm them down. Where did Dewey go?”
“Home, once he lines up a ride.”
“You know Pervis would never in sound mind give that idiot his mountain.”
“I don’t think he would,” Raylan said, “but I don’t know it for a fact.”
“We’ll see Pervis tomorrow,” Carol said. “Get him to admit it.”
Raylan said, “What do you care what I think?”
Carol said, “I want you on my side for a change.”
The window already rolling up.
P
eople standing around outside smoking would come over to Raylan, offer their hand and say he’d sure told her and ask where she was, hidin in the limo? Raylan would say Ms. Conlan’s resting up, you people getting to her pretty good. Some would say they’d had enough company talk and were heading home. Raylan was surprised to see Hazen Culpepper walk up to him.
“I thought you’d left.”
“I may as well. I don’t see you doin anything about Otis.”
“Like what? I could do anything I would.”
“Sit her down in one of those rooms you got and shine a light on her. Get her to talk.”
“The sheriff’s people already have Ms. Conlan’s statement,” Raylan said. “Otis fired at her and Boyd shot him, saving her life.”
“You believe that?”
“I asked her myself. Otis fired a twelve-gauge at you from thirty feet and didn’t even hit the trailer? Ms. Conlan said, ‘He missed, didn’t he?’ and will swear to it. That’s where we are. I doubt her word, but there’s nothin I can do about it.”
“Otis fires his scattergun,” Hazen said, “he don’t miss. I’ll swear to that in court.”
“We ever get inside a courtroom you can say anything you want. But we aren’t near to gettin there,” Raylan said. “You try to settle this yourself, I’ll have to come get you. Understand? I know how you feel. We can both stew over this without it doing either of us any good.”
“My brother killed,” Hazen said, “ain’t something I can put out of my mind.”
“I understand,” Raylan said. “But getting Boyd’s my job, not yours.”
“You ever forget it,” Hazen said, “call me. I’ll come remind you.”
Another time they’d be good friends. Raylan offered his hand to Hazen, already walking away.
Carol came out of the car, Casper following. She said to Raylan, “That was Otis’s brother, wasn’t it? I thought he’d left. What’s he looking for, revenge? Boyd gets the chair or what’s his name will shoot him. Hazen?”
Casper said, “Or shoot the two of you, you were both there.”
She gave him a look.
Casper said, “The intended victims.”
“Why is everyone picking on me?” she said in a normal tone. “We go inside, I’ll do five minutes of warm-up, get some of the crowd on my side, and the bleeding hearts will take their shots. Why do I want to turn mountains into dunes? ‘Lifeless dunes,’ I was told one time. I’ve forgot their line. But what we do is lay waste to beauty, to grandeur, to God’s idea of a pretty nice place . . . that’s full of coal.”
Raylan listening, watched her light a cigarette.
Casper said, “You then put a curious look on your face.”
“It isn’t curious, it’s a look of curiosity. Wait a minute. Wasn’t it God put all that coal under the grandeur?”
“It stops them in their tracks,” Casper said.
“I say, ‘Heck, if God put it there . . .’ Or I might say, ‘Hell, is God tryin to hide it on us?’ I smile. ‘Playin a game on us?’ I tell them, ‘But gettin it out gives you men jobs and heats your homes,’ and I go through all the coal rewards.”
She turned to Raylan.
“I’m warmed up. How are you doing? Wait. ‘Har you doin, big boy?’ I start thinkin that way and it comes out of my background naturally.” She said to Raylan, “You don’t comment? My security, Marshal One-Liner?”
“I haven’t thought of anything,” Raylan said, “worth saying.”
“You just did it again. You make one-line declarations. You sort of mope around, so to speak, while your mind is flicking lines at you.”
Raylan said, “Wait’ll I tell Art.”
Carol said, “See?” She said, “When I finish my chore we’ll go back to the house—where you picked me up and told me how smart you are, but it didn’t work, did it?”
Raylan said, “When I take you back to Woodland Hills, my time’s up, isn’t it?”
Carol said, “I’ll let you decide.”