Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3) (3 page)

He took a moment to study her facial expression and body language, and found what he was looking for.  She was exhausted, confused, and definitely embarrassed.  He debated with himself for a moment, then made the only decision he could since leaving her alone was not even remotely an option. 

“Con, please turn around,” he said.  Then, in a low voice, he added, “I will not look.”  She gave him another one of those barely perceptible nods, but she remained tense. 

Deciding to get it over with quickly, he removed the shift and dropped it on the floor before reaching for the t-shirt.  He slipped the neck hole of the t-shirt over her head while keeping his eyes averted partly for her sake, and partly for his own.  He’d seen enough wounds, scabs, bruises, and scars on her already.  If he saw much more he was afraid he’d go into a blood rage, and that wasn’t something Rayne needed to deal with at the moment.  She was their
berezi
, and her needs came first even though she either didn’t remember that fact, or she hadn’t overheard them on the mesa as they’d suspected. 

Once the t-shirt was over her head, Rayne raised her arms and slipped them into the sleeves which hung past her elbows.  She pulled the shirt down, sighing as she ran her trembling hands over the thick, soft cotton. 

They all heard the door knob turn and, in a flash, Con and Landor stood crouched at the foot of the bed, glaring at the door.  Only when they saw that it was Ari did they relax.

While Ari carried a tray to the bed, Con locked the door behind him.  Landor piled pillows behind Rayne, and Con got an extra blanket from the closet to cover her legs.  Ari then put the tray over her lap and lifted the cover off of a steaming bowl of broth.  Landor poured her a cup of tea from a porcelain pot, and Con offered her a small bowl containing various sweeteners, his brows raised in question.

“No, thank you,” she whispered, staring at the three of them with wide eyes, shocked by their attentiveness.  It took a few moments to remember that their behavior was no different from what she’d expect from any Clan Jasani male-set in the same situation.  But it felt…alien…to her.  She couldn’t shake the feeling that it had been a very long time since she’d been treated so kindly.  

She turned her attention to the steaming broth on the tray in front of her, her stomach cramping just from the aroma.  She picked up the spoon lying on the tray beside the bowl and dipped it into the broth, but her hand shook too much for her to carry it to her mouth without spilling it all over herself and the soft, clean t-shirt she now wore.  She put the spoon down with a regretful sigh.  Maybe one of them would pour it into a cup for her.

Before she could ask, Landor pulled a chair up close to the side of the bed and picked up the spoon.  She watched silently as he dipped it into the broth and carried it to her mouth.  Feeling both grateful and embarrassed at the same time, she opened her mouth, needing the nutrition too badly to even consider declining it. 

She ate about a third of the bowl before signaling that she needed to stop.  She leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes for a moment, struggling to keep the hot liquid in her stomach.  When she was sure it would stay there, she opened her eyes and reached for the cup of tea.  Con lifted the cup from the tray for her and placed it in her hands.  She savored the warmth of the cup against her palms, the simple sensation so amazingly good that it made her eyes sting, though she didn’t understand why.  She raised the cup to her lips and sipped, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat along with the tea.

“That’s a big cut on your arm, and it looks fresh,” Con said.  “We don’t have enough Water magic to heal, but we have enough to take some of the pain away.  It should be cleaned and bandaged, too.”

Rayne frowned, not knowing what he was talking about.  She followed his gaze to her left arm but she didn’t feel any pain there.  She returned the cup to the tray, then turned her left arm until she could see the long cut on the back of it that ran from her wrist almost to her elbow.  There was dried blood on her skin, but it wasn’t bleeding and it didn’t look deep.  She stilled as that same memory tickled her mind again.  Instead of chasing it, she relaxed and waited for it to come to her.  “The shift,” she said, looking up at Landor.  “Where is it?”

Landor reached down to the floor where he’d dropped it and picked it up, holding it gingerly between two fingers.  “Inside,” she whispered.  He frowned, but turned the stiff garment inside out and immediately saw that there was writing on the fabric.  It wasn’t very neat, the letters uneven and thick, obviously written with something other than a conventional writing instrument.  He stared at the dark rusty red letters, then raised the garment to his nose and sniffed.

“This is written in blood,” he said, his eyes going to the wound on her arm.  “Your blood.”

Rayne nodded as once again a fragment of a memory slipped through her mind too quickly for her to grasp.  “What does it say?”

“You don’t know?”

“No,” she whispered, her brow furrowed in thought.  “I know that I was sent back in time one year, that memory loss is a temporary side effect, and that my presence here, in this time, must be kept secret.  And I think I remember less now than I did when I first…arrived.”

“So, you used your own blood to jot down a few reminders?” he asked stiffly, his jaw clenched so hard he could barely speak.

“Apparently,” she replied, frowning at him before putting his tension down to typical male Clan Jasani protectiveness.  “Can you read it?”

“The first line says
Buhell III C 8 days, need BS
,” he said, then looked up at his brothers.  Ari shook his head, but Con had a thoughtful expression on his face.

“The first part of that is familiar, but I’m not sure why,” he said.  “Give me a minute.”

Landor nodded, then looked back at the garment.  “The second line says
CTRL #57
.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Ari said.

“Why not?” Rayne asked.

“
CTRL
is an abbreviation for
Control
,” he replied.  “I suspect that note refers to people who’ve been implanted with Controllers, something we’ve been seeing a bit too much of lately.  Maybe there are fifty seven of them, or maybe the fifty seventh one is important in some way.  Something along those lines.” 

“When we found you, you asked to be taken to your parents,” Landor said to Rayne.  “Do you think that there might be someone with a Controller on the
Ugaztun
?”

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t remember,” she said, tensing at the thought of her parents in danger. 

“Don’t worry, Rayne,” he assured her quickly.  “If there’s a spy on the
Ugaztun
, the Dracon Princes are more than capable of defending themselves.  I’ll go over there in the morning and discuss all of this with them while you remain here where no one can see you.”

“Thank you,” she said, easing back against the pillows.  “Is that all it says?”

“No, there’s a third line.  I’m not sure, but I think it says
Doffle
.  That doesn’t mean anything to me.”  Ari and Con both shook their heads, but this time it was Rayne who frowned. 

“May I see it?”  Landor held the shift up and turned it so that she could see the letters clearly. 

“It’s not
Doffle
,” she said, her mouth suddenly dry.  “It’s
Doftle
.  I don’t know what it means, but I feel like I should.  And it frightens me.”

“It took a lot of blood to write all this,” Landor said, carefully folding the garment which had gone from an object of disgust to one of significance in the space of a few moments.  “I’d say that means these bits of information are very important.”

“I just wish I could remember what they mean.  It doesn’t do much good to leave myself reminders that I can’t understand.”

“Since you knew ahead of time that your memory would be impaired, maybe the notes were meant to be understood by others,” Landor said.  “Not you.” 

“But you don’t understand them either,” Rayne whispered. 

“We have a few ideas,” Con said.  “We’ll do some research and see where it takes us.”

“You don’t have any idea who took you, or where you’ve been?” Ari asked.

“Aside from what I’ve already told you, my last clear memory is of going to bed the night before Tani’s wedding,” she said.  “I don’t remember the wedding itself, or anything about that day.  Was I here for that?”

“Yes, you were,” Landor said.  “In fact, no more than three minutes before you arrived on the mesa, we saw you transport away from the same exact spot.  We assumed you were going up to the
Ugaztun
, but apparently that wasn’t the case.”

“I wonder why I can’t remember that day?” she murmured, then shook her head.  “I don’t suppose it matters.”

“If it does, I’m sure you’ll remember it in time,” Landor said soothingly, alarmed by how pale she’d gotten while trying to remember.  He searched for a way to change the subject.  “Would you like more soup?”

“I think I can do this myself now,” she said, reaching for the spoon.  She dipped it into the broth and carried it slowly to her mouth, then smiled at her success. 

Landor returned her smile, but inwardly he was fighting to keep tight leashes on his tongue and his temper.  The sight of Rayne in such horrific shape after seeing her healthy and well just an hour or two earlier had him nearly wild with fear and worry.  Not knowing who took her, why they’d done it, how they’d done it, or how she’d been returned, made him feel off balance and uncertain.  For all he knew, she could be snatched away again at any moment.  The helplessness of that thought nearly caused him to shift involuntarily into his bearenca alter-form, something he hadn’t done since he was a toddler.

“Why can’t you speak above a whisper?” Ari asked.

She stiffened, one hand going to a thin scar on her throat even as she shook her head.  “I don’t remember.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, please,” Landor said, his heart twisting in his chest at the lost expression on her face.  “I think not remembering everything right away is a blessing, all things considered.”

Rayne nodded though she wasn’t sure if she agreed or not.  She set her spoon down a moment later, too full for even one more swallow.

Landor frowned, wishing she’d eaten more, but this was not the time to badger her.  “If you’re done eating, I think you should try to rest now.”

“Yes, I’m very tired,” she said, then yawned.  “Where will I sleep?”

“Right where you are,” Landor said.

“But, this is your room, isn’t it?”

“It is.  How did you know?”

“Because you took your t-shirt out of a drawer over there,” she replied, dropping her eyes as she double checked her shield to be sure her true emotions were hidden.  She hadn’t lied, but she hadn’t told the whole truth, either.  She didn’t want to admit that the room, the bed, even the t-shirt she wore, all smelled like him, like oak and fresh lime, or that the scent comforted her.  There was something going on here that she was too tired and too confused to grasp at the moment. 

“There is no reason to move you now that you’re settled and comfortable,” Landor said.  He read the hesitation in her eyes.  “Besides, no one on this ship save the three of us would dare enter this room for any reason without a direct invitation from me.”

“All right, you convinced me,” she said, unable to argue with that.  She started to reach for the stack of pillows behind her but Con got there first, rearranging them for her while Ari removed the tray from the bed.  She laid down and Landor straightened the covers over her.  The thought of being left alone caused her heart to race, but she had plenty of experience in hiding the outward signs of her true feelings.  It required little effort to keep her expression stoic, and her shield firmly in place.

Landor looked into her eyes, having learned in the past hour that they were truly the windows to her soul.  He was surprised at how little she gave away with her facial expressions and body language.  But it was all there in her eyes.  Fear.  Confusion.  Exhaustion.  And loneliness.  Deep, abject loneliness unlike anything he’d ever witnessed before.

“Don’t worry, Rayne,” he said.  “We will not leave you alone and unguarded while you sleep.  I promise.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Is there a chance that whoever took you before can do it again?” Ari asked, unable to stop the question from leaving his lips.

“I don’t know,” she said wearily, trying not to be irritated.  She’d already told them all that she remembered.  Didn’t they believe her?  

“We’re sorry, Rayne, we don’t mean to press you,” Landor said.  “You’re safe now.  No one will find out you’re here if there’s any way for us to prevent it, and as long as no one knows you’re here, they can’t take you.  Try to get some sleep.”

Rayne knew that there was no such thing as safe, but her eyes closed as she was trying to form the words to say so.  Landor’s t-shirt was soft against her skin, the bed was comfortable and warm, and she had hot food in her stomach, even if it was only broth.  She didn’t know why those simple things felt like luxuries to her, but they did.  All she wanted to do at the moment was relax and enjoy them.

“This is so…startling,” Ari said softly a few minutes later, when they were certain she was asleep. 

“That’s an understatement,” Landor said.  “If you’d asked me two hours ago whether time travel was possible I would have said absolutely not.  But the proof is before us.”

“I’m usually excited to come across new phenomena,” Con said.  “But not this time.  I don’t like this at all.”

“I strongly suspect that the alternative would be waking up tomorrow to find that she was missing,” Ari said.  “All things considered, this is better.”

“I agree that having her here right now is better than what our future must have held in a different time,” Landor said, then shook his head.  “That’s a difficult concept to comprehend.  What troubles me is, if the future Rayne is here right now, then where is the Rayne we saw transport away before this one arrived?”

“That’s a worrisome question,” Con said.