Razor's Edge (Afflictions) (30 page)

Morgan gains his composure and whispers, “I get you home; you can bet that sweet ass there won’t be any interruptions.”

   Thirty-five

Shay

The beat of Wiley’s drums pounds out and echoes backstage. The whine of Tryst’s electric guitar with Bryan’s bass adds to the excitement in the air. Lina’s talented fingers glide across the keyboard adding a little electronic sound to their heavy metal music. I watch Morgan scream into the mic and bounce across the stage. The crowd roars. 

“Awesome freaking concert!” Logan is standing next to me. Even though he shouts, it only sounds like a whisper over the music.

I nod and glance back at the side profile of Morgan and just beyond him, from my angle, I can see angry mosh pits forming in the audience. Ben head bangs in front of me. His enjoyment is something to marvel at. This is his first show and he’s really getting into it.

People are moving around us and
Dani clings to Logan’s side.

“Your brother’s talented.” Everything inside me wants to move with the music, but I’m sure I’d look weird as hell. A big-bellied head-banger. Yeah, not the image I want.

Morgan wraps up a song and goes into another.

My feet are killing me and we’re only halfway through. Why did I refuse the chair they offered me earlier? Because my dumb ass thought I could take two hours of standing. I didn’t want to look like a fat pregnant lady that couldn’t handle standing during a rock concert.

A sharp constricting pain shoots to my abdomen.
Damn, Braxton Hicks.
I bend down, holding my stomach and grit through the pain. I’m not going into labor. I’m still a month away. But shit, it fucking hurts.

A hand rubs my back and I glance up at Logan.

He gives me a half smile, unease in his hazel eyes. “You all right?”

I nod and take a deep breath as the pain subsides. “Yeah.”

“Wanna sit down?” Logan glances around. “Let me get you a chair.”

“Okay.” I should sit. Being the only one sitting doesn’t bother me that much anymore.

Logan walks off in search of something for me to sit on, and Dani clings to my side.

I look down at her. “Having fun?”

She nods and her blonde curls bounce.

Ben bounds up to us. His face and hair drip with sweat.

“Maybe you should take a break from head banging.”

“No way.” He strips off his sweat-soaked T-shirt then hands it to me, and before I can order him to take a break, he bounces back to the side of the stage with the other ten people who were lucky enough to score backstage passes. His little body rocks out, and I can tell he wants to get in the middle of the mix, but won’t. I agreed that he could do this as long as he stayed in my line of vision.

Another sharp pain hits my gut and my daughter pushes against what feels like my kidney. I spread my feet apart and bend down as I take in a deep breath.
Fucking Braxton Hicks.

“Are you okay?”
Dani grips my elbow. “Is the baby coming?”

The pain subsides and I chuckle. “Not for a while.”

“Found a chair.” Logan unfolds it and places it behind me.

I plop down. “Thanks.”

He nods then glances over my head. “Incoming bitch alert.”

I turn in my chair. Emily
Rhines is stalking our way. What the hell is her problem? I clasp the pass hanging around my neck.

She stops next to me with a scowl plastered across her face. “Tell that boy of yours he needs to stick by you. I won’t be held liable if he breaks something.”

Fucking bitch.

“He’s just dancing.” Logan frowns and eyes Emily up and down.

“He’s bothering the fans. I won’t have him ruining their fun. Either rein him in, or I will.”

I don’t see the harm in him doing what he wants to. This woman has some nerve, talking smack about my son. The other fans he’s with aren’t even paying attention to him. She’s pissed that Morgan and I got back together. She can eat a dick. With the way she’s acting, it might do her mood some good. I go to stand—

Logan’s hand comes down on my shoulder. “Sit. I’ll go get him.”

Emily grins and crosses her arms.

If I wasn’t pregnant I’d like to punch that look off her face. Instead I nod. No use starting shit with Morgan’s manager. I fucking hate that she’s his manager. There’s nothing I can do about it, though.

She smirks at me then looks behind her. “No! No!” She shakes her head and stomps off toward a man controlling the lights. “You incompetent prick. You’re supposed to fade out the lights between songs! What the hell do they pay you for?”

The screaming of the crowd tunes out the rest of her rant.

I glance back toward the stage.

Ben’s cheeks are red and he’s scowling as Logan walks him back. I hate that uptight bimbo. What right does she have to spoil my son’s first concert? He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Something needs to change. Morgan is stuck for another year in her record label's contract. Maybe I could talk to someone higher up and have her replaced. One thing is for sure, I don’t want him traveling with her anymore.

Another sharp pain hits my belly. Fuck. What the hell is this? I ride out the short constricting pain and the pressure it leaves makes me feel like I have to use the bathroom.

“Mom, why can’t I dance?”

In my seat, I bend over and place a hand on my back.

“Mom?”

“Shay?” Logan rubs my back again. “Are you sure—”

“I’m not going into labor.” I grind my teeth and the last of the pain subsides. “I just need to use the restroom.”

Logan nods. “
Dani has to go too. Why don’t you take her with you?”

“Dad, I don’t have—”

“You were just complaining about it.” Logan winks at Dani.

Her brows pinch.

She might not get Logan’s hidden meaning, but to me it’s loud and clear. “I’m fine. I can go by myself.”

“I’d feel better if
Dani went with you.”

Dani
looks back and forth between us. “You know what? I do have to go.” She takes my hand. “And I’m afraid to go alone. Can I go with you, Aunt Shay?”

Aunt Shay?

Warmth floods my chest. She’s never called me that before. Morgan and I have no plans to be married. I never wanted that for myself. But we’re together, so I guess it does make sense. I smile and take her hand. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Morgan

The crowd is screaming, their hands reaching out to smack mine as I rap into the mic. There are thousands of people here tonight and I’m completely sober for the first time. Not once has my mother’s image haunted me and it has everything to do with the woman and little boy watching from backstage. Their confidence and acceptance is all that matters. Shay’s pep talk before the show runs through my mind.
These people wouldn’t be here if they didn’t like your music
.

I quickly glance back and see only Logan and Ben. Where did
Dani and Shay go? A bit of unease goes through me.

Looking back at the audience, I scream into the
mic and push all the negative away. I’m probably only feeling like this because I’m not high. I anticipate the vision I usually get of my mother laughing at me. It doesn’t come.

Bryan bobs up and down with his bass. He comes close to me as I rap the verse. This was the song I wrote about Shay and she’s not here to hear it. Where the hell did she go?

Bang!

Another bang follows. The crowd screams. Not out of excitement, but panic.

A sea of people run toward the back exit of the concert hall. Others run toward the side exits and collide with each other. Needle prick up my spine. My heart’s pumping so fast it feels like it’s going to explode.

Shay!

Pushing through the security guards, who are trying to get on stage, my mind struggles to comprehend what is happening.
Gunshots?
An arctic river flows through my veins.
I need to find Shay.
I race over to Logan. He’s holding Ben back from the horde of security.

How in the hell did someone get a gun in here?
Security is always tight in places like these. A cold feeling sets in and my heart catapults into my throat. My mouth goes dry.

Bryan’s heart wrenching roar rips through all the chaos. I’ve never heard him scream like that. I turn to see why he’s screaming, but Ben slams into my side.

His little body shakes and tears stream down his cheeks. “I thought you were shot!”

Were the shots aimed at me? I tremble as I bend down. “I’m okay, buddy.”

With tears in his eyes, he nods.

There’s a gunman on the loose, and I have to find Shay. What if he has her? It’s a cannon ball blast to the gut. My eyes dart around backstage. Head hopping from bouncer to fan to technician. Everybody is doing their own thing, rushing around, and the back door opens as cops swarm into the immense space.

My chest seizes and I inhale.
What if she’s gone? We just made things right. She’s carrying my baby.
My voice cracks, “Where’s your mom?”

“She went to the bathroom right before the shots rang out.” Logan reaches for Ben. “Go. I’ll keep the kid safe.”

Panic pounds an unsteady rhythm against my rib cage. I go to leave and Ben grabs my waist.

He shakes his head. “I
wanna go.” 

Logan runs a hand through his hair and looks around. He whistles to someone.

I don’t see or care who it is. My son’s upset. He’s shaking and the sheer fear I see in his eyes puts me in a difficult spot. I’m caught between the urge to protect him and my desperate need to find Shay. 

Tryst walks up. He gives me a silent nod. “
It’s okay, Duders.” He pries Ben off my waist and Ben clings to him. “We’ll all go find her.”

Shay

Pants around my ankles, I grip the pole on the wall of the handicap stall as another pain lances through me. My heart’s flying so fast I’m having trouble breathing. I’m in too much pain to move.
These definitely aren’t Braxton Hicks.

Dani
rubs my back.

I don’t know what the hell that noise was, but when it rang out and people started screaming,
Dani crawled under the stall door, scared out of her mind. It’s a rock concert and people scream all the time. But it still freaked her out. The stress from seeing her that way triggered another contraction.

It’s too early for me to have my baby. I’m still a month away. This can’t be happening. Thoughts of Ben race through my mind.
Logan’s with him.
He’s more than capable of taking care of Ben. He has a healthy, happy ten-year-old girl as proof of that. I breathe in deep through my nose and grit my teeth as another contraction runs its evil slice through my abdomen.

“Want me to go get my Dad?” She brushes my sweaty hair from my face.

“No.” I grind my teeth. Not letting her out of my sight.

“I’m scared.”

“Nothing to be scared about.” I grip the pole on the wall and go to stand as another sharp pain slashes through me. I try to hold in my scream for her benefit, but it belts out anyway. What the hell am I going to do? I can’t move. Dani is scared and Logan doesn’t even know the trouble I’m in. Nobody does.
I can’t even pull up my goddamn pants!

“Hello!” a woman’s voice calls from the other side of the stall. “Is there a Shay in here?”

“Yes!” Dani screams. “We need help.” She unlocks the stall door.

I grip the pole tighter and go to stand.

The stall door flies open. Morgan enters, eyes huge and face sheet-white.

I’m going to be alright.
He’s here.
A wave of relief crashes down on a sigh.

“Is the concert done?” A sharp stabbing pain followed by a gush of warm liquid travels down my legs to the floor. “You
gotta be fucking kidding me! Now?”

“Get someone in here!” Morgan yells. “Shay’s water broke!”

He grabs my arms to hold me up. Another violent contraction roars in my abdomen. I scream and collapse to the toilet.

Logan rushes into the stall. “Keep her sitting and keep her legs elevated.” He looks down at
Dani. “Come on, we need to get an EMT.” They rush out the door.

“Where the hell is my son?”

Morgan swipes some toilet paper and wipes the sweat from my brow. He strips off his black T-shirt and grabs my arms to help me stand. “That seat is gross.” He places the shirt over the toilet and helps me sit down. “He’s with Tryst, Logan, and Dani. We didn’t want him seeing you like this. He’s fine. Everything is going to be fine.”

But the worry in his eyes tells me he doesn’t believe it. I cry out again.
I fucking hate labor!

“Breathe, Mama. Just breathe.” Morgan rubs the side of my cheek and his hands feel clammy. His whole skin tone is a little paler.