Razor's Edge (Afflictions) (13 page)

It makes a whole lot of freaking sense. That I can do. No commitment to him. Just a friendship. Kinda like friends with benefits, only no benefits will be had. So it’s more like friends with a baby. Yeah, doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I’m down. "Sounds great to me."

Morgan stands. "I have practice." He walks toward the door and I follow. "Call me and let me know when you make a doctor’s appointment, will
ya? And… no smoking."

"I will. You don’t have to worry about the smoking thing. I haven’t had a cigarette all day. They make me want to vomit." I make
a
yuck
face and he laughs.

We stop at the door for a minute. His eyes sparkle through the swelling. I smile and my skin tingles. "Well, goodbye, Morgan."

"See ya later, Shay." His body comes so close to mine, heat kisses my skin. Heart dancing in my chest, my mouth goes dry. He goes to hug me but pulls away. I grab him.

"For the record. I hug all my friends." And I do. I hug Morgan. But not like I’d hug Tryst or
Bebe. My body grips him a little harder. Tingles shoot from head to toe and my breath hitches.

His blue eyes blaze into mine, and he pulls his lip ring into his mouth. His hands glide down my sides. “Shay, I—”

"Mom, I’m back." Ben stops in front of us and gapes.

We jump apart.

"I was just giving Morgan a hug goodbye."

"Your mom’s a great nurse."

We say this at the same time. I’d laugh if I weren’t mortified. I shouldn’t be. We're just friends, and Ben sees me hug Tryst all the time. There is no way they both know what I felt in that hug.

"Your face is busted." Ben grins. "Did you kick his butt?" He does a fake karate chop and a kick into the air.

I laugh. My nerves have overtaken my common sense. I should be telling him it’s not cool to fight.

Morgan bends down. "It’s not cool to beat people up. You should always talk first. Your daddy and I were just playing and got carried away. And it was an even match."

Ben's face goes serious. "You shoulda kicked the snot out of him."

A jolt goes through me. "Benjamin Samuel Kelly. That was not nice. He’s your–"

"He’s not my dad." He ducks around Morgan. "And I hope I never see him again." He storms into the bathroom and slams the door. It’s the only room in our place, and he goes there when he doesn’t want to be bothered. I definitely need to move out of this loft. He’s growing up and his private space shouldn’t have to be the bathroom.

I turn to Morgan. "Sorry you had to witness that."

"It’s no problem. I had an absent dad, too. I know how the kid feels." He gives me a quick hug. And I wish it could have lasted longer. "Call me if you need me, and if you want I can talk to Ben."

"Oh, that would be nice."

He nods and heads down the stairs. I watch and feel like an idiot. Really?
That would be nice?
I couldn’t think of anything better? He stops at the end of the stairs and looks back up.

Shit
. I fly into my apartment and slam the door. My breath heaves; I let out a nervous laugh and cover my face with my hand. Great. Now I'm looking and acting like a teenager with her first crush. Oh, God. I can’t do this
friend
thing.
Yes, you can.
He’s just a guy that you’re having a kid with. No need for emotions to get involved. Right—said no pregnant woman anywhere.

    
Fifteen

Morgan

Freakin’ doctor’s office was a goddamn carnival scene this morning. At least he knows his shit. I think. I’m still confused. Some of those questions that slapped me around for a week got answered. My brother might know the answers to the others. He’s been there before. Just because I was there for Logan when Dani entered the mix doesn’t mean I know everything about being a father, or what I should do for the mother of my child. I need his advice. So I dropped Shay off. Keeping a clear head is non-existent when she’s around.

The big brother asking the little brother for advice. I chuckle and shake my head.
Damn, I'm desperate.

As I pull up to my brother’s place, my ten-year-old niece,
Dani, comes rushing out of a snow fort on the side of the trailer. "Uncle Morg!" Her curly blonde ringlets bounce under her earmuffs. "Are we going sledding like you— Whoa. What happened to your face?”

"I had an accident." Yeah, Gary could be considered an accident. "I'm okay though. But I can't take you sledding today, sweetheart." I give her a hug and feel a little guilty that I don’t have the time today. I need to bring Shay her lunch.
It’s weird how doing something like that can make a man feel so good. I’m doing my part while her body does hers. Makes me feel accomplished and proud, and nothing like the feelings I got when I got signed. "I’m only here for a bit. I have something I promised I’d do for a friend. Where’s your daddy?"

She kicks the snow. "Inside sleeping."

Sleeping? It’s Saturday, so I see the need to sleep in, but until noon? Logan must have worked a double yesterday. He needs to quit working so damn hard. I understand wanting to move out of a trailer, but the dude’s been saving up for a down payment for years. What the hell is he stashing cash for? An estate? “So he’s sleeping, and you’re left to your own devices?”

She shrugs. “Cadence just left about an hour ago. She had to go see her case manager so she could renew her food stamps. Dad gave her off until Tuesday. He said he wasn’t going to fall asleep, but he passed out anyway.”

Huh? “He’s working those weird, crazy hours again?”

She nods. “We have a house to go look at tomorrow.”

’Bout fucking time. “So there’s a greyhound rescue in your future. Don’t leave the yard and it might come sooner.” I wink at her.

“But, Uncle
Morg, we don’t have the yard for—”

“I have a huge yard and the dog can stay with me until you find a house.” And I’ll make good on that promise. I have the yard for one, and it might give Logan more incentive to watch my place while I’m gone on tour.

She squeezes her arms around me. “Thanks. You’re the best. I love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” 

Dani ducks back into her snow fort, and I hear her talking to someone. More likely her just talking to herself. Curious, I peep in through a circular window she constructed. No one. Just Dani being Dani. She’s ten and should have grown out of talking to her dead mom by now. It kills me every time I watch her do this. But there’s nothing I can do, and the doctors say she’s mentally stable.

I shrug it off and head up the metal steps to Logan’s front door. Without knocking, I go into the trailer and lose my footing. Logan’s work boots. He took them off and left
them lying in the middle of the walkway. His tool belt is draped across the recliner.

Logan’s in his blue collar uniform, lying on his stomach, half on, half off his sectional couch. Laundry is in a messy pile at his feet. The TV is blaring some action movie I don't take the time to place. I shut it off. There are food cartons on the coffee table—looks like they had IHOP for breakfast.

"Logan."

He mumbles something incoherent into the couch cushion. He doesn’t move, and within a split second he snores. The asshole could sleep through anything. Hell, a tornado could be going on outside, and he’d still be zonked. Years of living with our loud-ass mother did that to us.

I call his name again, this time a little louder, "Logan!"

Still nothing.

A grin crosses my face. I peep through the window to make sure Dani is still outside. Opening my palm, I throw my hand back and smack him as hard as I can across the face. "Wake up! Someone’s breaking into your house!"

Logan springs up, lazy fists flying, and I dodge every one. His blond hair is standing on end in every direction. Blood-shot, hazel eyes open wide but don’t see anything. My huge pink handprint is across the left side of his face. As he stops attacking the air, his body stiffens and his muscles bunch. "What? What's going on?"

"I said it looks like someone broke into your house." Moving the comforter aside, I plop down on his couch.

He rubs his eyes with his fist then takes a look around. "Damn. Cadence hasn’t been doing her job lately. I should fire her. Where’s
Dani?"

“Outside playing. And you can’t fire Cadence. She’s been
Dani’s nanny since Dani was two.” I look around the pigpen. “Although you might want to have a talk with her about her other duties. Maybe threaten to cut down her pay.”

“Damn.” Logan’s eyes squint. “I think I have an exhaustion headache.” He stretches, yawns, and scratches his side, then grabs his pack of Winston’s. After lighting up and exhaling, he groans and rubs his temples. "Man, you got any aspirin?"

"No." I head into his kitchen and rummage through his medicine cabinet. Advil. That should do. After filling a tall glass with water, I go back to his couch and hand it to him.

He takes the pills and freezes mid-motion. "Damn... Bro, what happened to your face?"

"I got into a fight a few days ago. I don't wanna talk about it." Because if I do, I'll go ballistic again just thinking about that douche bag Gary.

Logan quirks a brow. "That's all you got to say? Do I need to call the boys?"

Like I want his work buddies—who sideline as members of the River Rats—to help me out. As much as I'd like that gang to go after Gary, it will only cause problems for Shay. She doesn't need that crap in her condition. "Nah, I handled it. Whatcha been up to? I called you like six times this past week, and you haven’t returned any of my calls."

He gives me a swift nod, hits his cigarette, then looks around. "Work. They got me back on the graveyard shift again and it sucks. I hardly ever get to see
Dani."

"She built a pretty good snow fort outside."

"I helped her build it yesterday." He groans and rubs his temples again. "Right before Cadence got here and I went to work. I gave her off for the—”

"
Dani already told me." I pick up the food cartons and throw them in the trash by the back door. There is no way in hell that I’m cleaning up this mess, but every little bit helps.

"Yeah, she’s been spending the night almost every night for the past six days. She needed a break and so did I.” Logan inhales his smoke and flicks the ash in the overrun
ashtray. “When I got off work this morning and told her she could have off, she kissed the hell out of me. Got my dick hard and all.” He shudders. “Yeah, I’m not going there with her. Must be the lack of pussy I’ve been getting lately. Just don’t have any time for it. Fucking job.”

I chuckle and sit back down on the couch. Whether or not Logan wants to admit it, I’ve seen this coming for a while now. They’re always flirting with each other. And so what if she’s not his normal type? His normal type being fake tits and long, skinny legs, and tons of makeup to make their ugly faces Hollywood-worthy. Cadence, though, she’s a little on the chunky side, but carries it right, kind of shaped like a pear. She wears no makeup, and doesn’t need to. Her face is beautiful the way it is. So I can kind of see why my brother is attracted to her, even though he won't admit that he is.

He sits up. I pat his shoulder and he takes a drag of his cigarette then looks at me. "Why are you here?"

"Just checking on you. You skipped my show last night and have been out of touch all week. Wanted to know why."

“Aw…” He slugs my arm and grins. "Miss me."

"I missed
Dani." I love doing this to him and the asshole deserves it.

"And?"

"And... I got a girl pregnant, and I need to know if you—"

His obnoxious laughter is so loud that I check the door to make sure
Dani is still playing outside.

"You..." He points at me and shakes his head. "Got..." He grabs his ribs.

Jeez, it’s not that funny.

"Yeah.... right." He doubles over.

I butt his cigarette that’s smoldering away in the ash tray. "Laugh all you want, asshole. I got a girl pregnant, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing."

The laughter stops. Logan’s eyes go wide and his jaw drops. "You're serious?" He blinks, then shakes his head. "Nah, not you. You never sleep with a chick without a jimmy. The
chick’s gotta be lying, trying to trap you."

"It broke."

He runs a hand down his face, then takes a deep breath and lets it out on a sigh. "Well… Shit. And you’re positive it’s yours?"

Hot anger coils in my gut. What he’s suggesting is that Shay’s a slut. And having her anywhere near that category makes me feel homicidal. Okay, maybe I have a problem. I shouldn’t be feeling that way. But a nice girl like her doesn't deserve to be referred to like that. In Logan’s defense, sluts were my normal. Not anymore. "It’s mine. This girl isn’t a skank."

"How do you know? Women can be good at hiding it. I know a few teachers and librarians that have a little kink–"

"She’s related to our new guitar player, Tryst. You know, the dude I’ve been hanging out with lately. And I’ve spent some time getting to know her over the past week."

Logan shakes his head. "No way. I never thought I’d see someone tie you down, especially with your band just getting signed."

"It’s not like that." Leaning back on the couch, I part the curtain to check on
Dani. "We had a one-nighter. The condom broke, and we both don’t want a relationship. So we’re going to co-parent."

"Wait." Logan laughs. "You mean to tell me that you two are going to act like a divorced couple and parent the kid without having to go through a marriage and divorce proceedings?"

"Yeah. That’s basically it. Except we’re friends."

Logan laughs and slaps his knee. "She must be a dog."

I growl. "She’s fuckin’ sexy as hell. Even sexier now that she’s carrying my kid. She’s a great mom to an awesome little boy, and she’s got the most incredible sea green eyes. She’s got a tough personality, wild black hair, and her body is banging. Don’t insult her."

"Whoa, bro." He holds up his hands. "Sorry, I meant no offense. From what you just described I don’t think it’s possible for you two to" —he makes quotation marks with his fingers in the air— "just be friends."

"We can. It’s complicated." Dani's building a snowman. She seems so lonely.
Maybe she'd have fun playing with Ben.
Guilt stabs me. I’ve been ignoring her lately. With the band and everything that’s been going on, I haven't had the time for my weekly visits.

"Yeah, and things are going to get a lot more complicated with your arrangement."

I turn away from the window and stare at the idiot who thinks he knows more about my predicament than I do.

He shakes his head and stands, grabbing the ashtray off the coffee table. "When a guy is just interested in sex, he doesn’t say the first feature about her that is sexy is her eyes, or what he finds attractive about her personality."

I know that. I’m not an idiot. Or maybe I am, because Logan’s right. Do I harbor feelings other than friendship for Shay?

On his way into the kitchen, Logan nudges my shoulder. "You want her more than you’re willing to admit, which is going to make this whole thing blow up in your face if you don’t talk to her about your feelings."

"When have you ever talked to a girl about your feelings?" I follow him into his kitchen. "You’re all about the pussy."

His face drops and his eyes soften. He empties the ashtray into the trash can, then sets it on the counter. "You're right. I didn’t, but I should’ve with Jocelyn. She should’ve known how I felt before… Anyway, take it from me. It will blow up in your face." He heads toward his bedroom, and I
don’t follow.

I hate it that I made him think about that. I need to do something to make it up to him.
Dani’s lonely and he’s probably going to sleep the day away. Dani shouldn’t be by herself. I really wish she’d make some friends. But kids are mean, and I hate seeing her cry.

"I’m taking
Dani sledding!" I call back to him.

"Have her back by seven. I promised I’d teach her how to make fajitas for dinner." He doesn’t come out, and I hear the TV click on. "Lock up behind you. And congrats." That sounded even less enthusiastic. Shit, I’m such a dick.

After grabbing a change of clothes for Dani, so she will be warm after sledding, I head outside.

"
Whatcha got there, Uncle Morg?" she says as she hits her
Sam and Cat
duffel bag with a snowball.