Ready for Love (17 page)
“Kylie, I can’t.”
“Why? Am I that repulsive to you?”
LJ stepped inside. “Oh God, no. Why do you keep saying that? I’ve told you repeatedly that it isn’t you but me. You are amazing. I want…I want to sleep with you more than anything, but just not yet.”
Kylie swiped at the tears brimming in her eyes. “I don’t understand. Do you want me to be more like Max or even Cassie?”
“No. Never. You know that. Neither of them can hold a candle to you.” LJ wrapped her arms around Kylie. “When I make love…we make love…it will be forever, and that time needs to be special and not some convenient romp in a bed.”
“Don’t you think I’m scared too? My only sexual experience was with Ted, and it didn’t take me long to discover that most of the time it was one-sided.”
“All the more reason to take it slow and be certain I am who you want in your bed.”
“Haven’t you been listening? I want to know you. All of you.”
“When I give myself to you, I want it to be all of me, and I’m not there yet,” LJ whispered. She lifted Kylie’s chin and rubbed a finger over her lips. “Will you wait for me?”
“I have no choice. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want to be with you, and I will wait for as long as it takes.”
LJ leaned in and kissed Kylie’s lips softly. “I’d better get going. I really had fun tonight with your friends. Sorry I was such a pain at the start.”
“You weren’t a pain. I think you were so far out of your element that it scared you.”
LJ lifted an eyebrow. “You ever think of going into psychology?”
Kylie kissed her again. “Don’t go. Stay. We’ll just sleep, that’s all.”
LJ shook her head. “I don’t trust myself to be that near to you and just sleep.”
“Then don’t.”
“You’re incorrigible.” LJ shook her head. “I’d better get going.”
“If you stay, then we could have a leisurely breakfast in the morning before going to pick up Ryan. You could meet my parents.” LJ stiffened. “What?”
“I’m not ready for the parent thing yet.” She took a step back. “I need to go.”
“Okay, I understand, but at some point you’re going to have to meet them.”
“I know. Is it okay if I call late tomorrow morning? Maybe we can take Ryan to the park.”
“Okay. She’d like that. You are her favorite playmate.”
LJ smiled, then turned away.
Kylie watched her get into her truck and drive away. Her phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Am I interrupting anything by calling?”
“Hi, Lynne. No, unfortunately you aren’t interrupting anything. LJ just left.”
“I really like her, Kyl. It took her a bit to warm up to us, but after that I could see what you see in her.”
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone, Lynne. It’s like she’s reached in and stolen my heart and put a spell on me.”
“I could see in the way she looked at you she feels the same way.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It’s written all over her face. And the sexual fireworks that were coming off the two of you were
sooo
hot.”
Kylie’s face heated. “You’re just saying that to embarrass me.”
“Maybe a little bit, but the chemistry was definitely there.”
“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”
“
Smokin
’. So why aren’t you two taking advantage of Ryan not being there?”
“It’s complicated. She has a lot of baggage.”
“I would imagine so. She couldn’t have had much of a childhood if she got her PhD at twenty. No wonder you said she didn’t have many social skills. I wonder if she ever got to play with kids her own age.”
“Good question. I know when we went to the zoo a few weeks ago, it was a first for her. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her.”
“It was probably all she knew, so it was normal for her.”
“You’re probably right. As I unravel the mystery of LJ Evans, I will have to find out the answer to what makes her tick.”
“Be careful. If you delve too deeply, you may find more than you can handle.”
“She’s worth it.”
“You’ve really got it bad, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Kylie yawned. “Listen, it’s been a long day, and I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open.”
Lynne laughed. “I bet if she was there you wouldn’t be saying that.”
“Probably not.”
“Okay. Have a good night and give me a call on Sunday and we can arrange a day for lunch next week.”
“I will. Good night, Lynne.”
“Good night.”
Kylie ended the call and yawned again. It had been a long week. She locked up and headed up to her bedroom, wishing LJ was there with her.
Over the next month, LJ spent more time with Kylie and Ryan. They shared dinners and went to the park every Saturday so Ryan could swing and climb on the monkey bars. One day as they sat watching Ryan hang upside down on the monkey bars, she realized in amazement how much she doted on the child. Kids generally annoyed her. But something about the girl’s easy nature made her want to watch over her and protect her.
As much as she enjoyed the family time, LJ made certain she and Kylie went out on dates at least twice a week. At work, she found herself longing to touch Kylie, and it took every ounce of her determination not to. While examining artifacts she could feel the heat coming from Kylie along with the scent of a sweet spring morning that she came to associate with the woman.
Yet she resisted the voice that called to her to take the plunge and commit fully to Kylie, with whom she knew she was falling in love. Old fears and memories still haunted her, and until she could resolve those, she’d stay rooted in place. That didn’t stop her from taking every opportunity she could to be with or around Kylie. She couldn’t get enough of and did not intend giving her up ever.
That morning, when Kylie began piecing together what looked like a promising clue to the glyph, LJ leaned in so close that their cheeks were a whisper apart. When she rested her hand on Kylie’s shoulder, she could feel her tremble, and she reacted the same way. The attraction was becoming undeniable, and she moved away to distance herself in an attempt to squelch her burgeoning emotions.
Instead of spending the morning as she usually did with Kylie, she had made a hasty retreat to the safety and solitude of her office. It was becoming more difficult to contain her need to be with Kylie on a more intimate level. She knew the time was coming when she’d resist no more. The question then became would she continue to stay stubbornly in the past or move on to what she knew was her future?
†
Kylie watched LJ leave and sighed. They had agreed to refrain from being intimate until they were both sure it was what they wanted. Kylie knew in her heart what was right, but she also knew LJ was fragile and therefore they needed to go slow. Only moments ago LJ had rested a hand on her shoulder before leaning in so close that Kylie had to close her eyes. She tried to
will
her heart to stop from beating at a rate she was sure might make it explode. Going to the next level was becoming a deep, burning need for her.
She shook her head before looking back at what appeared to be a plaque or picture of some sort that she had been trying to piece together all morning. Hours later, it was finally beginning to take shape. The more parts she added, the possibilities became clearer that it might be the key to the mystery LJ was trying to solve. Lying on the table in front of her, the picture appeared to contain four anthropomorphic winged beings all leaning in different directions with the sun directly overhead.
“I’ve got to have LJ look at this.” She stepped down from her stool and began walking rapidly toward LJ’s office.
After entering the room and making the turn that would take her to LJ’s desk, she said, “LJ, come see what I….” before stopping in her tracks.
LJ and Max Dylan were standing as close as two people could. There was an unmistakable look of guilt on LJ’s face, and Max looked like the cat that ate the canary.
Refusing to let either woman see her distress, Kylie schooled her features. “Sorry. I’ll speak with you later.” She turned and walked—she wanted to run—away as fast as she could.
†
LJ hadn’t expected Max to show up since she’d made it perfectly clear she wanted nothing to do with her.
“LJ, darling, I need your help.” Max breezed into her office and smiled before kissing her on the lips.
“Stop that. I told you to leave me alone.”
Max gave her a pointed look. “Judging by those perky nipples, I’d say you’re glad to see me.”
LJ threw her arms across her chest. She’d been thinking about Kylie, and that always made her nipples harden. “Get out.”
“I’ve just been speaking with Rob about some of my students coming here for a lesson in reconstruction. I doubt he’d be happy to hear you refused to discuss it with me.”
“You can send me an email with the criteria, and I will set up a time.” LJ gave Max her best glare. “Now leave.”
Max moved closer and grinned. “You know as well as I do that you don’t mean that.”
LJ grabbed her wrist and twisted it. “Oh, I mean every word. Now get out.”
“Hmm, I love it when you get physical.” Max traced a finger down LJ’s cheek. “Are you as turned on as I am?” she whispered.
When she heard Kylie’s voice, LJ snapped her head in that direction. She saw a mixture of horror, sadness, and disappointment in Kylie’s eyes. “Kylie, wait,” she said as Kylie left.
Kylie kept on walking.
LJ made a move to follow, only to have Max grab her arm. “Your little friend can wait. I can’t.” She pulled LJ to her and kissed her hard.
After wrestling herself free from Max’s hold, LJ slapped her face. “Get out and don’t come back unless you want to have all relations with the museum severed.”
“You can’t do that. I’m too important.”
“Are you sure about that? Go ahead and try it and see how it works out for you, Max.”
She grinned. “You’ve got a thing for your little helper, don’t you?”
“Get out,” LJ snarled.
“Oh, I bet Rob would like to know that little tidbit.”
“Go for it, Max. See where it gets you.” LJ shoved past her. “Don’t be here when I get back.”
†
“What a fool I’ve been.” Kylie stood sobbing in a corner by the door of the workroom. “How can I ever compete with someone like that? No wonder she doesn’t want me when she can have that.”
“You don’t have to compete with anyone, Kylie. You’re the only one I see.”
Kylie shook LJ’s hand off her shoulder. “I know what I saw.”
“You saw a woman who arrived, uninvited I might add, and who doesn’t seem to know what the word
no
means.”
“There wasn’t enough room between the two of you for air.”
LJ took her shoulders and turned her. “Kiley, there is nothing going on between Max and myself. Yes, she’d like there to be, but I’m not interested.”
“Why don’t you want me?” Kylie tired but failed at keeping her tears from falling. “I thought we were getting close,” she whispered.
“We are.”
When LJ lifted her chin and kissed her, Kylie’s anger and sorrow melted and desire took its place. She leaned into the kiss as it intensified. For a moment, she forgot where they were. She wanted nothing more than to feel LJ’s body close to hers. The banging of a distant door brought them out of their reverie.
“I guess this isn’t where we should be doing this.”
LJ smiled. “Tonight…I know it is not our usual night, but do you think we can have some alone time?”
Kylie put her head on LJ’s shoulder. “Yes, if you can wait until after Ryan goes to sleep.”
“You’re going to make me wait that long?” LJ teased.
“Remember, waiting is a virtue.”
“I’m tired of being virtuous.” LJ grinned and ran a finger down Kylie’s cheek. “So what is it you came to tell me?”
Kylie grabbed LJ’s hand. “I think I’ve found a clue to the glyph.”
After increasing the magnification, LJ began looking intently at what Kylie had pieced together. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“Do you think it’s the key to the mystery?”
“Perhaps. It’s a picture on some form of pottery of that depicts these winged beings. I’m not sure of the significance. Maybe it’s some sort of clock or season indicator.” LJ pointed to the artifact. “It looks like there should be more to it.”
“Yes. I saw that, but there aren’t any more pieces.”
“Let’s look around the same area and see what else turns up.”
For the rest of the day, LJ worked by Kylie’s side as they tried to discover more of the puzzle.
†
LJ held Kylie’s hand as they walked down the stairs after tucking Ryan in.
“Mommy.”
“Good night, Ryan.”
“Mommy, I want to tell you something.”
“What?”
“I love you.”
Kylie smiled. “I love you too, now go to sleep.”
“I love you, Lgie.”
LJ stopped and gave Kylie a quizzical look. “Do you think she means it?”
“Of course. She wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t mean it.”
“I love you too, Ryan.”
They continued down the stairs and went into the kitchen.
“Want some coffee?” Kylie asked.
“No. I don’t think so.”
“How about some cookies and milk?”
LJ smiled. “I haven’t had that in ages.”
Kylie pulled a plate out of the cupboard. “Here, put some cookies on this and take it into the family room. I’ll get the milk.”
After placing the plate on the coffee table, LJ sat on the couch and smiled when Kylie came in carrying two glasses of milk.
“My gran used to tell me the only way to eat a cookie properly was to dunk it in milk. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I happen to agree with her.” Kylie took a cookie, broke it in half, dunked it in the milk glass, and then moved it to LJ’s mouth.
“
Mmmm
, that is delicious.”
“Tell me about your grandmother.”
LJ leaned back, knowing it was time to confess all to Kylie. “When I was sixteen, my parents disowned me,” she whispered.
“Why?”
LJ let out a derisive laugh. “I mistakenly thought they loved me and would support me in what I chose to do.”
“They didn’t want you to be an archaeologist?”
“No. It was because I chose to love Holly.”
“Oh, LJ, that is horrible. I can’t imagine turning my back on Ryan for any reason.”
“You never know. We all have lines we refuse to cross. What do you think will happen if you told your parents about your feelings for me?”
“They will welcome you into the family. Of that I am certain.”
“Are you? I was sure my parents would welcome Holly.” A sad expression filled LJ’s face. She snickered. “At that age I was stubborn and was going to prove to them that they couldn’t run my life. In the end, they walked away and I showed them nothing.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters that supported you?”
“I have two brothers, but I haven’t heard from them”—she shrugged—“since it happened.”
“Have you tried to contact them?”
LJ shook her head. “They are both younger than me, and I’m sure my parents made sure they too thought I was a deviant. Why would I want to subject myself to their contempt of my sexuality too?”
“You don’t know that though, do you?”
“No, and I’m not going to find out.”
“What about grandparents?”
“There was only Gran. She didn’t judge me. In fact, she went to my parents to try to persuade them to change their minds. When they refused, she had all my things packed up and taken to her home. She gave me a room and a place to stay when school was out.”
“She sounds wonderful.”
“She was.” LJ took another bite of a cookie. “She was the only one to support me and welcomed Holly.”
Kylie pulled her into a hug and kissed her softly on the cheek. “I wish I could explain why that happened to you, but I can’t. I don’t understand how a parent can throw a child away. Just know that I am here for you always. Never doubt that.”
Kylie could feel LJ’s pain and desperately wanted to make it go away but knew that was impossible.
“I won’t.” LJ moved away. “I better get going.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Kylie frowned. They had come so far, yet LJ still balked at going further in their relationship. “Then I will wait until the time is right.”
“Hey, what do you say we take a trip some weekend out to my ranch? I bet Ryan will love riding the horses.”
Kylie’s eyes widened. “You have a ranch?”
“Yes. My gran left it to me.”
“I know Ryan would love that. Hell, I would love that.”
“Great. Let me know which weekend is good for you and I’ll call Ben and make sure everything is in order.”
“The weekend after next is good. My folks have been so busy this last month with their new RV that we haven’t spent much time with them. They’re going to visit friends in Wyoming next week, and they wanted us to stop by this weekend.” Kylie grinned. “You can come with us.”
“Not yet.” LJ moved toward the door. “I think I’ll stop by the museum on my way home and take another look at what you found today.”
Kylie looked at her watch. “It’s a little late for that. Why not look again in the morning after a good night’s sleep?” She shook her head. “Okay, I know better than to think you’re going to do that. Just promise me you won’t spend the night there.”
