Real Vampires Don't Diet (4 page)

"Yeah, it's hysterical." Aggie laughed, a horsy bray. "Might as well. You guys may think you're badass vampires, but I can freeze you again with a look if you come at me with a fang or try to shape-shift out of here. So don't even think of making a break for it." She waved a ringer and I flopped to the deck, the bungee cord jerking me back up like a yo-yo.

"Thank God! I
was
going crazy." I was shaking as Ray unwrapped the cord, lifted me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him tight. No matter what Aggie said, we were getting the hell out of here. I hate to shape-shift, but right now I'd even risk doing the bat thing to win my freedom.

Aggie gave me a sharp look. "Don't even think about it, vampire. You're not the only one who can read minds and if you so much as shift a toenail I'll freeze you permanently and hold your head under water until you wish you
could
die."

"Ease up, Aggie. Glory's not going to try anything. Are you, sweetness?"

"Who me?" My voice was a few octaves higher than usual and I decided that burying my face in Ray's shirt was the best way to filter Aggie's odor and comfort myself in what was clearly a lose-lose situation.

"Let her go and sing something for me, Israel Caine. Man, I think my luck is finally turning." Aggie leaned back in the seat with what probably passed for a smile on her gruesome face.

"One song. Then I want to discuss a deal." Ray settled me in the drivers seat with a comforting pat on the shoulder. I hoped to God he had a plan because my mind was as blank as crap, I couldn't even think of a clever metaphor, I was so strung out.

"What kind of deal?"

"There are some vampires in town we wouldn't mind getting rid of. What if Glory and I brought you three
primo
vampires? You could wait here for months before another vamp came by, if ever. You want to take that chance?" He moved close to the creature again.

"Maybe your vamp friends will send a search party for you when you don't come back from your boat ride." Aggie looked at her nails, then snorted in disgust and shook her head.

"And what makes you think we told anyone where we were going?" Ray smiled at me. "It's New Year's Eve. We were having a private celebration." Then he turned his back on me and got down to business. "Come on, Aggie. Think about it. Three male vampires who could make Circe happy. You'd get your curse lifted and I could keep singing. Maybe write a special song just for you." Ray sat on the bench seat next to Aggie. "Make a video. Put you in it. I have a thing for beautiful blondes." He turned to wink at me, like I was one of them. And, even in the middle of a major freak-out, I felt my hormones happy dance. Stupid. I should be all about survival. I wondered if I could block my thoughts from Aggie like I could from other mind readers. I put up a shield.

"I don't know if I should deal with you." Aggie fluttered her lashes. "Why should I trust you? Your friend over there is doing her best to block her thoughts." She gave me an evil grin. "Not working, hon. And you're not helping Israel's cause either."

"Glory's upset. Ignore her." Ray put his hand over his heart. "I swear it, Aggie. I don't know what the situation is with Sirens, but I don't make promises I can't keep."

"Sirens have their own code. Which I'm accused of, ahem, bending. Strictly speaking, Achelous, the Storm God, is my boss, not Circe, but she found out about my transgressions and is blackmailing me."

Cue the thunder and boat tossing. At least this time I could hold on to something, though Ray's railing was getting bent all to hell and back.

"Well, sorry, sister Circe, but that's what it is. Calm yourself. I'm playing by your rules. I know you're listening. The guy's offering to serve up some vampire men." Aggie looked at me. "Are they hot? Circe really likes to roast and toast hot guys." I thought about the one I really hated. Ugly as sin, but he could make himself look like anyone's dream guy, one of his more useful talents. Some of his evil minions were actually good-looking.

"Yes. We can come up with three hot vampires for Circe." I breathed a sigh of relief when the boat quit rocking and the wind calmed.

"There you go, then. Let me finish negotiations, your goddessness." Aggie sighed. "Touchy, touchy. But powerful. You don't want to get crossways with any of the hierarchy. Trust me on that."

"So do we have a deal?" Ray's smile was looking a little strained.

"Not necessarily. What if I want more than just a video with you?" Aggie scooted closer to him, until her scales were making his jeans wet. Ugh.

Ray shook his head. "We'd have to play it by ear. See how things go."

Aggie nodded at me. "What about her?"

Her, me,
I
just stood there, visions of Ray hooking up with this swamp thing making my skin crawl, no matter what form she ended up in. I knew what he was doing, trying to talk our way out of this. And clearly Aggie had no interest in hearing from me so I kept my trap shut.

"Glory and I are just friends. She's teaching me about being a vampire. Like a mentor. I've only been this way for a few weeks. The tabloids made us a couple, but it's all an act. We sneaked out on the boat so Glory could teach me more about being a vamp, that's all."

Gee. Would it have killed him to pretend we were lovers? Not that I should care. Ray was only telling the truth. I had Jerry, a boyfriend who said he loved me even if he did stand me up on the most important date night of the year. Yeah, and look where that had landed me. Hostage to the swamp thing here. Jerry was so going to pay for this. The thought of retribution almost made me smile.

Aggie smirked. "Wait'll you see me in my regular form. I'm much more your type than this oversize vampire." She flung out a hand, seaweed trailing from her fingertips.

"I'm sure you're beautiful, but then so is Glory." Ray turned to smile at me. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't disrespect her. I owe her my life."

Wow. Now how was that for a feel-good moment? I smiled back and waited for Aggie to throw a thunderbolt at me or something.

"Huh. Whatever. Maybe I'll think about your 'deal' while you sing." Aggie laid that icky hand on Ray's thigh. I gritted my teeth but kept quiet. Ray began to sing. It was a new song. About finding out who you are when you've lost your way. Good choice. I'd like to get lost right now. Ray was getting to Aggie, I could tell. Her eyes closed and she swayed with the music. By the time he came to the end, she was humming the chorus, but Circe had clearly taken her voice because even that was painful to listen to.

"Oh, Ray. Did you write that song?" You knew I couldn't stay quiet forever.

"Yep. Just yesterday. Seems the vamp gig hasn't dried up my creative juices. For a while I was afraid they'd gone along with my ability to chow down on a steak and fries." Ray's grin was full of relief.

So he really had been worried. I wanted to reach out to him but Aggie stopped me with a hard look.

"Nope. You've still got it, handsome." Aggie grabbed Ray's hand and pulled it to what passed for a scaly bosom. "Great song. You and me, Ray. I'm thinkin' we could have made beautiful music together if I didn't have to give you to Circe."

"Guess we'll never know." Ray shrugged. "What'll Circe do to us if you give Glory and me to her?" Aggie winced. "She hates the night. So vampires are a boil on her backside. She'll torture you until she decides to put you in the

sun to die. Or maybe she'll stake you. No, probably not. Too quick." She gave me a narrow-eyed look. "She really really hates men. I don't think Glory there would do it for her. Oh, she'd take you out, hon. But I'd probably be sent back to get another vamp anyway. A hot guy or at least a good-looking one."

"Well, then. I should just get the hell out of here." I felt queasy and my knees were weak, talk of stakes and death by sunlight did that to me. "But I'm taking Ray with me. Come on, Aggie. You know you can't send Israel Caine to a certain and ugly death. Did you hear him just now? Could you really silence that voice? Destroy that talent?" I got up, ready to wrench Ray out of her slimy grasp. I'd taken one step when I was frozen again.

"Aggie, let her go. You just said Glory is a nonstarter. Let her swim to shore. I'll sing another song." Ray scooted closer and put his arm around Aggie. "One last song before I die."

"Aw, you've got me. Glory's right, Israel. I can't let Circe destroy you. You sing like an angel. I really respect a voice like that." Aggie slumped. "But I've got to get out of this nasty body. If I agree to this deal, you've got to come across with those three male vamps. And soon."

"I will. You've got my word on it."

"More than that. I've got you both on a leash." Aggie grinned. Oh, those teeth.

"What do you mean a leash?" Ray said what I was thinking. Oh, God, I hated not being able to move so much as an eyelash. I couldn't even swallow spit.

"Now that I've got your scent, I can call you to me at any time. Both of you. No matter where you are, you won't be able to run away, far enough or fast enough. I can
make
you come to me. Like a compulsion. Just hope there's a boat nearby or you'll be swimming for your life. Never doubt it. That's the power of a Siren. Even one who's cursed." She waved a ringer and I was limp again.

I took a moment to swallow, blink and generally celebrate being able to move. Then I stood up and faced her.

"Gee, you're just full of power, then, aren't you? But if we bring you three other male vampires, you'll leave us alone? That'll be the end of our 'relationship'?" I was really sick of this "now you're frozen, now you're not" crap. And really eager to never see this creature again.

"Right. Bring them to the lake. And fast." Aggie looked up at the sky. "By the next full moon. That's three weeks away. That's my deadline. So it's yours too. If I have to, I'll take you two. I figure Israel Caine is a big enough catch to satisfy Big Mama." There was a clap of thunder. "Well, if I can't find three men anyway." Aggie scratched at some red patches on her scales. "I've got about five minutes before I have to get back in the water. Sing me my favorite song, Ray. 'My One True Love.'" Aggie grinned. "And sing it to
me.
Then I want a big juicy kiss to seal our deal." She turned to me, her crooked eyes narrowing. "Start swimming, vampire. We want to be alone."