Real Vampires Get Lucky (19 page)

"Wire who?" Will was totally whipped now.

"Wire you ignoring us?" Blondie smiled sweetly.

"Oh, God." Will collapsed on the floor behind the counter.

"Knock. Knock." Brunette.

"Knock. Knock." Blonde.

"Take it outside, Will." I strode behind the counter and pulled Will to his feet. I actually felt sorry for him and led him to the back room. I handed him one of the new bottles of Bloodthirsty and tried to slip him out the back door before the two knockers could get there. But when I opened the door, there they stood in the alley, blond and brunette demons with angelic smiles this time.

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"Glory, did you talk to Blade? You think he'll help me?" Will took a deep swallow of the Bloodthirsty and slammed and bolted the door. Seconds later, the girls were inside and behind him again.

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"I'm sorry, Will, but Jerry's got a lot on his plate right now. His mother's in town and he's got a domestic crisis brewing. You're going to have to find the money somewhere else." I took a deep breath and then waited a beat while the demons knocked another round. I really felt bad for Will. I knew what it was like to gamble and lose control, always sure you could win back what you've lost. Now there was a glimmer of hope. The reward. If we could work together to catch Lucky's killer . . .

"Who's there?" Will had noticed the brunette reaching for a china lamp base.

I'd noticed it too. "Hey, hands off the merchandise!"

"Boo."

"Boo who?"

"Keep crying, buddy, but that won't make us stop. Pay up and we'll leave you alone."

"There's one way you might be able to get the money." This was really getting on my last nerve. Thank God I'd never heard of the Carvarellis in Vegas.

"What? I'll do anything." Will sank down on the edge of the table.

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"Lucky's father is offering a reward to whoever finds out who tried to kill her. I'll split it with you if you can help me find the vampire who ripped out her throat the other night and left her for dead."

"And it's enough to cover my debt?"

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"More than enough. But don't try to cut me out on this, Will. We work together. I've got a list of who in the area owes Lucky's family money. I figure that's a great suspect list."

"Yeah, you're right." Will sighed.

"Knock. Knock." Brunette was looking around for another weapon. Her eyes lit up when she saw a hall tree against the wall.

"Knock. Knock." Blondie reached for a chair.

"Who's there?"

Thank God he'd answered. But how long could Will stand this? It was already rubbing my nerves raw.

"Orange."

"Orange who?"

"Orange you sorry you tried to stiff the Carvarellis?"

"I'll slip the debtor list under Lacy's door." I couldn't wait for Will to leave.

"Don't bother."

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"Why?"

"She says she can't live like this?"

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"Who's freakin' there?"

"Police."

Will took a deep swallow of Bloodthirsty. "I don't blame her. Police who?"

"Police pay so we can stop telling these lame jokes."

I was not going to ask. I was not going to ask. I was not-Oh, hell. "Where are you staying, Will?"

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

Will dredged up a smile. "Don't worry, Glory. I wouldn't do that to you. Damian's got a room over his garage. Flo and Richard saw me having a meltdown in the alley. Flo hooked me up."

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

Will flipped the dead bolts and opened the door to the alley. "After you, ladies. Move out a little, Glory's not the one you're torturing." He turned to me and smiled. "E-mail that list to Damian. He'll see that I get it."

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

"Who the hell's there?" He stopped and looked behind him. "Bang who?" Suddenly he burst out laughing, leaning against the door frame. "Who knew they had X-rated knock knocks?" He grinned tiredly. "Damian's not on that list, is he?"

"No, I already checked for all my best buds and their families." I patted his cheek. He needed a shave, a shower and a break.

"You're the only one on there I'd count as friend. Take care. I'll work on Jerry for you."

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

Will drained his Bloodthirsty and put the empty bottle in my hand. "Not bad, is it? Thanks, love. Next time Jerry's mum starts in on you she'll hear from me, I tell you that."

"Knock. Knock."

"Knock. Knock."

He leaned close and kissed my cheek. "I think the blond one likes me. She doesn't hit as hard as the brunette." He turned to stroll into the dark. "Who's there?"

I shut the door and turned the locks. Poor Will. At least when dawn came the clown demons would have to let him sleep. No choice. Vamps pass out wherever they happen to be. But his waking hours . . . As an incentive to pay up, this one was a killer. In the shop things were blessedly quiet since Lucky, Etienne and Brittany had left too. Then I remembered to check my cell phone. No new message, but I reread the one I'd gotten in the car. The video again. As if I needed a reminder of being caught with my fangs down.

Twenty-four hours. Five thousand dollars. TV. Now I was pissed. Where did this freak think I was getting that kind of money? I'd already tried to answer the text, but the number was blocked. Whenever I got delivery instructions, I wanted to be ready.

"Valdez. Here, boy. Derek, I'm taking the dog in the back to feed him." I said that for the benefit of the mortal customer at the counter, where Derek, who was leaving for Paris the next night, was training his replacement, a vampire who'd filled in for us before, on our new credit-card machine.

"Sure, Glory, take your time."

"Woof!" Valdez wagged his tail and followed me to the back room. Once the door closed, he was all business.
"Dish out those
chocolate-chip muffins Lacy brought from next door, then tell me what's up."

I handed him one, almost losing a finger, then sat in a chair and flipped open my phone. "Someone saw us in the alley the night we found Lucky. Look at this."

Valdez swallowed the last of the muffin, then leaned close.
"I'll be damned. Pretty poor quality, but it's obviously you and me
and a body in a pool of blood. Look at your fangs."

"Yeah, I'm so screwed."

Valdez rubbed his muzzle on my skirt, scattering crumbs all over the wool.
"So what's this about, Glory?"

"Blackmail. If I don't pay this creep five thousand dollars, he'll send the video to the TV station, probably to our old friend there." I'd been interviewed on a local station after my shop had been firebombed. The reporter had done her best to make something sensational of the Vintage Vamp name, my vampire mural and my Goth clientele. I had no doubt she'd flip over the video and make it the last nail in my, ha-ha, coffin. I could just see it on the ten o'clock news.

"You can't pay a blackmailer off. He'll just keep coming back for more."
Valdez paced to the back door, then turned, his head down.
"This is my fault. I let you down, Glory. No way anyone shoulda gotten close enough to take that video with me on
the job."

"We were a little busy, V. Saving a life. And this was probably taken from pretty far away with a zoom. But I'll make a deal with you." I put my hand on his shoulder. I hated to do this, but . . .

"What?"

"I won't tell Jerry about this, uh, mistake you made, and you don't tell him about the blackmail. You and I can handle this on our own." Jerry pays Valdez's salary, and the shifter reports everything to his boss.

"
Now
who's into blackmail?"
Valdez backed away from my touch.
"Damn it, Glory. What if this creep turns out to be into
more than just extortion? You get hurt and Blade'll hand me my head on a platter."

"I can't afford to pay this, this ransom, and I won't risk . . ." I took a breath. "You think I should just leave then? Sneak off in the dead of night, and leave everything and every
one
here?" I blinked back tears. "I've done that before and it's no fun, let me tell you."

"Aw, I didn't say that. Read those texts to me. Maybe it's a teenager we can scare, then whammy into forgetting the whole
thing."

"Exactly!" I wiped my eyes. "Sorry for the meltdown."

"You're entitled."
Valdez gave me a gentle head butt.
"Stuff an envelope with a few bills and paper or something to make it
look fat enough for five thou. Then we wait to spring the trap. I can stake out the drop spot during the day. I figure that
with the security in the building, as long as I'm close, you'll be okay for one day. He's not going to let big money like that
sit for long. I'll like seeing this guy's reaction when a dog takes him down. I can do a pretty mean whammy myself if I can
get in his face."

"Thanks, puppy."

"Wait! Play that video again."

"Why?" Personally, I was sick of seeing it. Not only was it proof positive that I was a vampire, but it was unflattering as hell. The camera adds at least twenty pounds, trust me on that. I played it again. Yep, that swing coat still billowed around me like a damned tent.

"Look at that angle. I swear this was taken from above us. I'd say with a powerful zoom lens and from the roof of our
building."

"That means . . ."

"It's no mortal teenager we're up against, Blondie. We've got a paranormal screwing us over."
Valdez sighed.
"Give me
another muffin. I'm gonna need my strength if I'm goin' head-to-head with another one of us."

"Forget it. Too dangerous." We argued about it until we were both exhausted. One thing we did agree on: any paranormal who could shape-shift could have landed on our roof and taken the video. No way did we think it was anyone who actually lived in our building. We knew our neighbors, and none of them would pull a scam like this. At least we didn't think ... This whole thing was wearing on me, but at least now I had someone to talk to about it. And that helped, even if we couldn't figure out how to bring this to a satisfactory conclusion.

We still hadn't received drop instructions by the time Derek carried my case of Bloodthirsty up the stairs for me right before dawn. I hugged my clerk good-bye, shed a few tears because I was really worried that Freddy was more involved with his father than we knew, then went inside to a silent apartment.

"Well, Valdez, looks like we finally have the peace and quiet we crave. Guess we'd better enjoy it while we can."

"You said it, Blondie."
Valdez yawned and stretched.
"Can't say I'm too happy about the way Steve moved in on Lucky and
Beth the way he did. There's something off there."

I stopped on my way to the bathroom. "But you practically vouched for him."

"Yeah. I know I did."
Valdez scratched behind one ear.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think the son of a bitch had worked some
mind control on me."

"Oh, swell. That's reassuring."

"Well, Brittany thinks she can handle anything. And Lucky has told you repeatedly she doesn't want you running her life.
So I guess we just back off and see what happens."
Valdez ambled into the kitchen and nosed open the pantry.
"Before you
get involved in the bathroom, would you open this box of Twinkies? I'm starved."
I did the necessary, patting him on the head on my way to brushing my teeth. No lectures now on cruelty to animals. Reminder: Valdez is not a dog. He's a shape-shifter with a little something extra. Twinkies won't hurt him. And he'd die if I gave him dog food. I threaten him with it, but I'd never follow through. I rarely shape-shift because I have this phobia about it, but if I ever did turn myself into a dog (shudder), trust me, I wouldn't suddenly crave kibble.

Once I was ready, I opened the bedroom door and invited Valdez to jump up on the foot of my bed. He guards me through the daylight hours.

"Hey, those clown demons were really something, weren't they?" I was about thirty seconds from lights out and refused to spend my last half minute of consciousness on my blackmail woes.

Valdez seemed to get it. He laid his head next to my foot.
"Confession here. Brittany and I were clown demons together once
for the Carvarellis."

I sat up in bed. "You're kidding me."

"Knock. Knock."

"No way."

"Oh, yeah."

"Why?"

"The pay's great."

"It would have to be."

"Yeah, you think it's nerve-racking to watch?"
Valdez gave a doggy laugh.
"I tell you there are hundreds of really lame
knock knock jokes and I know them all."

"Tell me one."

"You sure?"

"Shoot."

"Knock. Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Line."

"Line who?"

Sunrise.

"Quit staring at your phone, girlfriend. I'm sure Jeremiah will call later. His mother is probably dragging him around town, making him play dutiful son, no?" Flo dropped a stack of boxes on the coffee table. "This should cheer you up. I will let you sell these in your shop. Vintage Gucci. The heels are too low, and they pinch my little toes. So I let them go." She grinned and sat on the couch beside me.

"Wow! Thanks, Flo." Since my roommate was notoriously reluctant to part with her fabulous shoe collection, I tried to look suitably thrilled. But I
was
worried that Jerry hadn't called. With Mag and Mara double-teaming him, he was probably being subjected to an endless round of "Why Glory's all wrong for you." Now throw in a daughter and-My phone beeped, signaling a new text message.

"See? What did I tell you?" Flo picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. "I won't start it yet, but I think you need to see this DVD I picked up last night. It will get your, um, juices flowing for Jeremiah. Trust me on this."