Real Vampires Get Lucky (4 page)

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Horror & Ghost Stories

BOOK: Real Vampires Get Lucky
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Surely we don't just drink this stuff out of a bottle."

"Damn right we do. No hunting humans."

"Aw, come on, girlfriend. You gonna tell me you never" -she winked-"take a sip of the real thing?" I'd like to deny it, but even I'm not immune to the lure of a hot body with good quality AB negative pulsing through it. I managed to shrug, like it was no big deal. "Hey, of course you can go to the source occasionally. But it's dangerous. You could get caught, and you don't want to be outed as a vampire. Trust me on that. If you're discreet and wipe out the mortal's memory afterward . . ." Oh, great. Lucky was touching her tongue to her fangs like she couldn't wait to give them a test drive. I grabbed her arm and shook it. "Don't even think about going out on your own. Give me time to clue you in."

"I'm an adult, Gina. Just tell me the essentials, I'm sure I can figure out the rest." There went the tongue to the fangs again.

"Start by figuring out my name. It's Gloriana, Glory to my friends, and it remains to be seen if you're going to qualify." Lucky gave me a hard look. "You don't have to be a bitch about it."

"Just remember that you're a newbie in this world. You don't make a move without me. Until I think you're ready, we're going to be joined at the hip." Maybe I was being a little harsh. Lucky was probably still in shock. Waking up as a vampire would do that to you. I put my hand on her shoulder and gave it a warning squeeze. "Give me time to teach you what you need to know."

"Just give me the short version. I've got . . . commitments."

"Forget them. This is the first day of the rest of your life." She tried to shrug off my hand, but I wasn't letting go until she took me seriously.

"Ow! Lighten up, would you?" She smiled. "You don't want to make me mad, sweetheart. I work out five days a week with Umberto, my trainer. He's a Nazi bitch, but he keeps me in shape. And then there's the kickboxing and running. I'm up to six miles a day." She looked me over then ran her hands down her slim thighs. "No offense, but I'm sure I could kick your ass." Valdez woofed and grinned at me. Oh, yeah, he was all about a little girl-on-girl wrestling. All we needed were bikinis and mud, and we'd be a guy's fantasy come true.

"Trust me. I'm tougher than I look." My jaw ached from grinding my teeth. No wonder she'd been attacked in an alley. Miss Congeniality she wasn't. I fought a serious urge to toss her skinny ass across the room, just to prove I could. I may look soft, curvy and about as dangerous as a plus-size lingerie model, but I
am
strong. Four hundred years of stored power strong. It would have been nice if I'd paid more attention to my body before I'd taken my own vampire turn. But back in the early sixteen hundreds women didn't run
anywhere
.

Lucky sniffed and went back to filing her nails, obviously unconvinced she couldn't take me, but smart enough to realize she wasn't exactly recovered from her near-death experience.

"I can hook you up with some good exercise videos. There really is hope for those thighs." Lucky picked up her bottle of Fangtastic and took another swallow.

"You are too kind." Had I saved her just so I could kill her? I counted to ten, then thirty. "No, no hope for these." I sat down and plucked at the robe that I'd thought disguised my figure flaws. "When you're turned vampire, you're stuck. Not just with the nice, white teeth, but with the body you have now. Neither of us will gain or lose an ounce or an inch.
Ever
." I reared back when Lucky launched herself at me and pressed me to her perky breasts.

"Thank you, oh, my God, thank you. I can't wait to tell Umberto to take his crunches and slam dunk them up his skinny-"

"Discretion, Lucky. But I'm sure it's tempting. I'd hate working out like that." The closest I'd come to a crunch had been a really nasty encounter with a Big Grab of Cheetos.

"Everyone hates working out." She sat back and actually smiled. "But Umberto doesn't get all the credit. I've got my plastic surgeon on speed dial. Doctor Rodrigo is a genius. Tummy tuck, face and brow lift. And you should see my breasts." She gave me a wink, clearly in a good mood now. "Well, maybe not."

"I'm sure they're awesome." Lucky was living up to her name in the body department. Then she rubbed her forehead.

"Oh, hell. The Botox just wore off. I'd scheduled another round next week." She gave me a hard look. "You're not kidding about this, are you? I mean, it's almost too good to be true."

"It's true. I could work out to a thousand DVDs and run from New York to L.A. and back and not lose a single pound. The healing vamp sleep always puts me right back to how I was on day one of my vampire life." She dug out her mirror again, then made a face. "There's no loophole, is there? For this mirror thing? What if I look into a pool of water?"

"Sorry, Lucky, you have to take the bad with the good. Now you're immortal. Forever, uh, young." I wasn't about to bring up that birthday I'd seen on her license or we'd definitely end up bitch slapping each other. "Only thing that can take you out is a stake in the heart." I remembered a near miss I'd had recently. "When you're asleep you're really vulnerable. That's why I live in a building with great security and double dead bolts on the door."

"And a bodyguard, one who has the balls to stick it out, is a good idea too," Lucky added, glancing at Valdez and obviously comparing him to the missing Brittany.

"Valdez always sticks and has the scars to prove it." I looked at him too.

"Finally. Some appreciation."
Valdez smiled and wagged his tail.

I glanced at the clock again. I had to call downstairs and let them know I was running late. "You'd also die if someone cut off your head."

"He'd have to catch me first." Lucky welled up, blinking rapidly. "Oh, hell. I took precautions and thought I was safe before. I just don't know how anyone could have pulled this off." She wiped her eyes then tucked her mirror into her purse and dropped it on the floor by her feet.

"That's something we need to think hard about. Whoever attacked you may want to finish the job when they find out you lived after all."

"Because you saved my life." Lucky managed a watery smile. "I'm sorry if I've sounded less than grateful. I am. I owe you. Big. And I always repay my debts."

I took a moment to ponder just how a lady who could afford a Birkin bag could repay me. There was that massive Visa bill for one thing. And I could really use a wardrobe update. Hey, I'd wrought what amounted to a miracle, bringing a mortal back from the edge of death. A reward wouldn't be out of line. Especially since Lucky promised to be a major pain in my oversized butt.

"The way somebody tore open your throat, you were pretty close to dead when we found you." No harm in laying it on.

"You sure a vampire did it?"

"I smelled vampire. So one had been around. Is Brittany . . . ?"

"Shifter with a little demon thrown in. I can't, couldn't, have a bodyguard who checked out during daylight hours." Lucky glanced at Valdez again like maybe she was thinking of trying to hire him away from me.

Valdez obviously read her mind.
"I'm on the last of a contract
with Glory, then I'm giving up the bodyguard biz."
He yawned.
"Long hours. Stress. Takes it out of you."

"That's what Brittany says." Lucky shook her head. "I can't believe she flaked out on me. I bet we find Brit's body . . . somewhere." She swallowed. "Damned bloodthirsty bastard."

"Not really. He or she let you bleed instead of draining you. But maybe when I drove in, I scared him off before he could finish you."

Lucky stroked her throat. "I . . . I healed." She shuddered. "Scar?"

"Not even a pink spot. You slept off the injury. A vamp perk." I leaned closer and tried to read her mind. Not my favorite habit, but handy. All I got was a jumble of "Oh shits" and "Oh wows." No surprise there. "Who'd you meet, Lucky? Any idea who did this? You have any enemies?"

"Dozens, vampire. Quit staring a hole in me. You want me to add you to the list?" Lucky glared, a knife suddenly in her right hand. Where had that one come from?

Valdez was suddenly between us, every one of his impressive canines on full display.
"Chill, lady, or you're going to find
yourself with a hurt that even Glory won't be able to fix. Understand?"

"Excuse me?" I jumped up and dragged Valdez back by his collar. Which would have been impossible if he hadn't decided Lucky was suitably warned off. "I can handle this."

"Okay, okay. I guess I overreacted. You sure you don't have any Valium?" Lucky sighed and tucked her knife back into the sleeve of her red sweater. "I can't believe I almost forgot about this one."

Clever. And scary. I guess I should have done a body search. Not that a knife wound would do more than slow me down a little.

"Valium doesn't work on vampires. I get that you're confused. What's with the knives?"

"I like knives. Goes with the name. Carver. Get it?"

"Sure. My boyfriend's called Jeremy Blade. He's into knives too." I'd never understood it either. I mean, why bother? Not when a mortal is no match for a vampire anyway. And against another immortal? Well, good luck with that. My response has always been to run like hell.

"You're not taking this one away from me. I need
some
defense."

"Not from me. I'm on your side, remember?"

"So you say." She fiddled with her sleeve until you'd never know there was a six-inch blade in there.

"Yes, so I say." I stood up, definitely tired of this conversation. "I've got to go to work."

"You're not leaving me. Alone?" Lucky actually fluttered her eyelashes.

"I've got a business to run, Lucky. You weren't exactly in my night planner."

"No, seriously. I'm freaking out. Maybe the shifter I met in that alley set me up." She pulled out her BlackBerry again. "She said she lives near here. That's why we met where we did." She looked up again. "You sure you didn't see Brittany? No sign of a struggle or a . . . body?"

"Nope. Valdez had a good look around." I liked the idea that this had been a personal grudge. Bad news for Lucky, but better than thinking an out-of-control vamp was ripping open random throats for sport. The last thing we needed was Austin in a vampirehunting frenzy. I went through one of those in the early eighties in Tucson. Call me chicken, but I'd packed up and moved on in the middle of the night. Didn't even throw a farewell party. I still miss some of my mortal friends I left behind there.

"That shifter paid me what she owed me. No problem. But-" Lucky dug in her purse again. "Well, hell, that cash is gone."

"Your purse was tossed aside. Last night you claimed a credit card was missing. And your diamond earrings."

"I can't remember . . ." Lucky groped in her bra and pulled out her driver's license. She narrowed her gaze on me again.

"Stop it. I saw your birthday. My lips are sealed. And I didn't steal your gold card either." I felt Valdez bump against my leg. "If I was a thief, I'd have left you for dead and strolled away with a Birkin bag to add to my purse collection."

"Right. I owe you. I said I get that." Lucky slipped her license back into her wallet, then swallowed and looked sick again. "You sure my throat didn't look like a cat clawed it open?"

"Nope. Definitely vampire. And you put up quite a fight. If a cat was involved, I'd have seen at least a few claw marks on you. I'm guessing the vampire worked alone. As for your bodyguard . . ." I glanced at Valdez. "Maybe she got scared off. If she went back to the alley later, all she'd find is a pool of blood."

"I wish I could remember something. There are a lot of vampires who'd like to see me out of the picture."

"What kind of business do you run anyway?" I thought I'd already figured it out, but I wanted to hear her say it. This sophisticated lady with a penchant for top-drawer duds was-"Loans. I make personal loans for clients who don't have access to traditional resources." A loan shark. "Charge some pretty stiff interest, do you?" I'd been tempted to deal with these people myself. Back when I'd developed a little gambling problem. Valdez bumped me again. Okay, a serious gambling problem. Hey, I'd lived in Las Vegas. But I'd done the whole GA thing and had been clean for over five years. Of course that was like a nanosecond when you're talking eternity.

"Quit giving me that look, like
I
was the bloodsucker." Lucky looked down into her boot.

"If you've got any more weapons, I didn't find them." I ignored the dirty look she gave me. "I'm not stupid, Lucky. I had to bring a stranger upstairs, to save her life, but I thought I'd disarmed you. If you keep giving me attitude, you can just head out and let your money-lending family take care of you. I'm sure one of their vamp clients would help you get used to your new status. Especially if taking you on could work off some debt."

"Hey,
now
who's got attitude? We provide a service. My family's been dealing honorably with the paranormal community for decades. My grandfather started the business and my father took over from him. I'm just a . . ." She looked down at her hands twisting in her lap. "An enforcer-I collect from delinquent accounts." She looked up, chin high. "I have an almost one hundred percent success rate too."

"Wow, impressive." I'd saved a damned loan shark. No, make that an
enforcer
for a loan shark. That explained the knives anyway. And the bodyguard. I had to admit she was right about one thing. When you live a nontraditional life, getting traditional financing can be a bitch.

She looked me dead in the eye. "I'm not ashamed of what I do. Someday I'll head the company."

"Good for you. But after last night, you won't be able to keep regular daytime office hours. Of course if you're used to doing business in alleys at three in the morning, maybe that won't be a problem. I'd double the guard though."

"I'll never see daylight again?" Some of the starch went out of Lucky and she collapsed. "No food. No reflection. You didn't save me, damn it, you ruined my life."

"Sorry about that. Next time I see a dying mortal, I'll just walk on by. Valdez and I never did get to put up the Christmas lights." I dug my cell phone out of my purse. "I'm supposed to indoctrinate you, so to speak. Help you get used to the life. But if we've got a personality conflict . . ."

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