Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (41 page)

“Stop!” Circe commanded.

Achelous ignored her, making the stones beneath us shake with his fury before opening the skies to a freezing rain. I screamed when he tossed another bolt at me, this time through my other leg. I couldn’t have moved even if I hadn’t felt like I was being electrocuted from the thighs up. My nails shredded as I dug for purchase on the hard rock and tried to keep from falling back and ripping the lightning down the length of my legs.

For the first time, I wished Achelous had turned me into a statue. I bit my lip, damned if I’d give him the satisfaction of tears or pleas for mercy. I kept my chin up and my eyes fixed on him.

“Having fun?”

“You mock me?” Achelous looked like he was winding up for another round.

I had some things I wanted to say before he put me down even if the pain was making it hard for me to think straight. I glanced at the sisters now clustered behind Circe. They were safe, at least, behind their twinkling barricade. I noticed that not even Achelous’s rain could penetrate that circle of stars and they were dry and pretty as they stared at me in horror. Aggie was still a statue, trapped behind Achelous.

“You’d like to blame me for the Sirens’ defection but blame yourself, your high and mightiness. They saw what you did to me and decided they couldn’t take a chance that one day you’d have performance issues or whatever and give one of them the same treatment. These women are too smart to just wait for the ax to fall.” I licked my lips, tasting the rain and wishing it was something stronger. I needed to heal
and fast. The lightning in my thighs pulsed hot and I leaned back to try to ease the pressure. No such luck.

“Smart?” Achelous snorted. “Sirens aren’t valued for their brains, Gloriana. Or their clever conversation.” That got a reaction from the ladies but he ignored it. He looked me over. “There are uses for a Siren’s mouth and talking isn’t one of them.”

“You really are a Neanderthal.” It was getting harder for me to form words. God, but I wanted to leap across the clearing and show him how a vampire’s mouth could go to work. I’d rip out his throat then… When he aimed for me again with a furious glare, I was sure it was going to be the death blow, through my heart, but another roar, not thunder, stopped him. A beautiful Bengal tiger leaped in front of Achelous. It was enough of a surprise to make him pause.

“What’s this? Gloriana, is she here at your bidding or Circe’s?”

“What does it matter, Achelous?” Circe smiled as she held a weeping Ariane against her. “Give up and let the sisters go. You have such a low opinion of them, why don’t you pick up whores somewhere else to satisfy your appetites?” The sisters flanked her now and there were angry mutters. Apparently the “whore” comment wasn’t sitting well. Of course Achelous had insulted them first and he got his share of angry glares. Circe silenced them with a gesture. “If you think you’re being wronged, let’s go to Olympus right now and take this up with Zeus.”

“Not so fast.” Achelous watched Laurie pace protectively in front of me. “The tiger wants to make a fight of it. I’d like to test her powers.”

“Leave her alone, Achelous.” I looked down, shocked to realize the lightning bolts had vanished and he’d released me. I was still bleeding and felt weak as the tiger slipped close enough to bump against me. I reached for her and pressed my hand on her back, taking strength from her warm fur as I staggered to my feet.

“Why should I? She seems to be the only one here with enough power to make this night interesting.” Achelous laughed with his head thrown back, his white teeth gleaming. “I took you down with one lightning bolt, didn’t I? And my Sirens? Easily cowed, hiding behind Circe’s skirts.” He flicked a dismissive look at the women still close enough to the goddess to touch her toga. “If I decide I want them back, I will get them. Zeus and I will have a talk, man-to-man. He won’t deny me.”

I could see their terror. My sisters. Somewhere inside me I did remember and I found the courage to stand straighter.

“You want a fight? Come at me again. Burn me to a crisp but let the tiger and the sisters go. What kind of man lets women do his work for him anyway? If you want to kill, gather an army of men and go to war. That’s how real men fight.” Laurie’s warm fur rippled beneath my fingers. A warning? Yes, I was talking tough. But I hated his macho act and I kept getting flashbacks of things he’d forced me to do, degrading things that made me feel sick and filthy.

“You think I’m not a real man?” Achelous moved closer to us and the tiger growled low in her throat. I, for one, thought it was one of the scariest sounds I’d ever heard. “You want some memories to remind you of how much of a man I was with you, Gloriana?”

“Having sex with unwilling women doesn’t make you a man. It’s called rape.” That earned me gasps from the sisters. Oh, yeah, I was on a roll. I had no idea if I was being brave or stupid.

“I don’t have to rape women, they want me.” He reached up to unpin the shoulder of his toga and let it drop to the ground. Of course he was built. Does the term Greek god ring a bell? But looks aren’t everything. This guy was as hollow as a chocolate Easter bunny. Achelous didn’t even register on my lust-o-meter.

“I don’t know.” I turned to the gathered sisters who were practically gripping Circe’s skirt, all except Aggie, who was still stuck behind Achelous like a piece of garden statuary.
I’d have to do something about that. “Show of hands. Who really wants or likes to do it with Achelous?” Hmm. Every one of the Sirens stared down at her designer shoes, her perfectly manicured hands clutched in front of her.

“Damn them.” Achy looked back at Aggie. “What if I make them all hate water like I did you, Gloriana? How does that feel? I saw Aglaophonos dragging you across the lake. Sirens live to be in the sea.”

“It was mean, the kind of dirty trick only a man who needs to prove his power would do.” I smiled. “Having power issues, Achy?” I almost missed the tiny sign that I had hit a nerve.

“You must have a death wish, woman.” Achelous gave me a long look and the wind picked up, blowing cold against my wet clothes. Laurie pressed against me with another growl.

“You thought to kill me once.” I figured he would kill me now and waited for the end, calm and surprisingly accepting. This was probably for the best. Jerry would find a woman better for him—please let it not be Mara. Ray would write songs and find a lover who would give him her whole heart. And Rafe. I gripped Laurie’s fur. I hoped she would look after him. They would be good together.

“And yet you still live.” Achelous released Aggie and she ran to join the rest of the sisters. “To hell with this tug-of-war. I’ll give the women to you on one condition, Circe.”

“It seems that I already have them. But I’ll humor you. I’d like to keep this out of Zeus’s court if we could.” Circe patted Aggie’s shoulder as she slipped into place. “What are your terms?”

“I want a few moments alone with Gloriana.” Achelous stared at me and I stared back. What fresh hell did he have in store for me? Laurie paced, obviously against the idea.

“Why?” Circe didn’t mince words and I could hear the sisters murmuring. I caught enough to realize they were all for throwing me to the wolf. Anything to get them away from the big bad.

“What do you care?” Achelous picked up his toga and pinned it on again. “She is merely a vampire, after all.”

“You’re right.” Circe nodded. “The tiger will leave as well.”

That earned a growl but Laurie was obviously under orders. She disappeared along with the group of women and I was suddenly alone with Achelous. Merely a vampire. Guess that made me bottom of the food chain.

The rain had stopped and there was only a distant rumble of thunder and the drip of water from the surrounding trees to remind me of the storms his temper had unleashed. I looked down and saw that my wounds were almost healed. I thought about shifting out of there, but I doubted Achelous would let me get very far.

“Well, you’ve got me alone. Are you trying to decide how to kill me?” I made it back to my boulder and sat, well and truly drained from what I’d been through.

“If only I could.” Achelous strode over to sit on the rock closest to mine as if ready to chat. “Don’t even think about taking off. I could easily find you now that I know you are still on this planet and not dust.”

“Good to know.” I looked up at the night sky. My last night? Well then. “Wait a minute. You can’t kill me? Why not? Seems like you did the next best thing, kicking me out of the harem like that. If it wasn’t for Jerry, I’d have been dead centuries ago.”

“Yes, but not by my hand. It was my clever way of getting rid of you without actually doing the deed directly, you see.” Achelous glanced up at the sky too. Looking for eavesdroppers? “Not clever enough. Because here you are, damn you.”

“Get to the point, Achy. Why can’t you kill me?” Was I crazy? I should just be glad someone had put limits on this megalomaniac and figure out a way to disappear while I had the chance.

“Did you ever wonder where Sirens come from, Gloriana?” He said the words conversationally.

“Uh, no. I guess I figured they were like all creatures that go bump in the night. They just are. No one tries to explain Olympus or the kind of action you just put me through. Hell, even vampires are the stuff of nightmares and fairy tales.”

Achelous laughed. “Nightmares indeed. Gods, I couldn’t believe it when you showed up with Aglaophonos after centuries. It was like a cruel joke.”

“Yeah, it was really funny how you left me in the mortal world with no memories or resources.” I really hated the man’s arrogance.

“Without resources?” Before I could stop him, he grabbed my hand. His fingers were warm, almost hot. I guess from tossing around lightning bolts. Was he revving up for more torture? I snatched my hand back and saw sparks fly but he let me get away with it. I did try to read his mind but hit a stone wall.

“If I had any resources, I sure don’t remember them.”

“Gloriana, I left you your Siren’s beauty and body, though I couldn’t resist adding a little extra in a few places.” He laughed when I looked down at my hips. “A god’s got to have some fun. I planted memories for you of a mortal family too, religious zealots. How did you like that?”

“Glad you could amuse yourself.” Bastard. I sent this mental message but he just grinned.

“Before I’d been away from you for more than a human fortnight you had a man taking care of you, in love with you.” Achelous quit smiling. “Mortal fool.”

“My husband.” I remembered the young actor who’d taken me off the streets and adored me. But he’d died so soon and of a freak accident. Or had it been an accident? My heart seemed to roll over in my chest and I felt sick. “Did you kill him?”

“Naturally. You were supposed to suffer, Gloriana.” Achelous’s eyes were cold as they swept over me.

How easily he spoke of taking an innocent man’s life. I
felt chilled and wanted to slap his face. I came to my senses but couldn’t hold my tongue. “All this because I didn’t have the stomach for the killing? Is that the acid test for you?”

“Of course!” He jumped up. “As soon as I was satisfied that you were alone and starving I really did leave you to your fate. I had no idea Circe took a hand in things after that and sent you a vampire to make you immortal.” He looked down at me and shook his head. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you here, by this lake, still alive hundreds of years later. Meddling bitch.”

“I’m glad Circe got the better of you. She saved me and now she’s taking your Sirens away from you. What you did to me proves you’re not fit to have them, Achelous.” I felt his power wash over me as he frowned down at me. The hairs on my arms stood on end and the wind began to howl. “You going to strike me down for telling it like it is?” I braced myself.

“I probably could kill you now and get away with it. The Siren part of you has been polluted by your years as a blood sucker. God, you even have fangs.” He stepped back and raked me with a look that should have incinerated me. But he was holding back for some reason.

“Polluted? Thanks a heap. Yes, I’m vampire. I won’t apologize for that. And you’re a god who can manipulate people as you wish. What you did to me…” I turned to look out over the lake. “Do you know I can’t bear to even stick my toe in that water without fear?” I looked at him. “And I can’t sing a simple song and stay in tune.” I sighed. “You already killed some of the best parts of me, Achelous.”

Achelous threw out his hand and shot lightning at the nearest tree. It broke in two and burst into flames. He towered over me and for a minute I wondered if he was about to finish the job. I gritted my teeth, fangs down, thinking that I’d sink them into his neck and make him bleed before I’d stand here and just take it.

“Zeus’s armpit, but you’ve turned into a disgusting hag.
I blame it on your living in the mortal world for so long. Remember this.” Achelous rested his hands on my shoulders and I felt electricity sizzle through my body in an excruciating arc. Smoke actually came out of my toes and I could smell my hair burning. “You are a daughter of Olympus. That and only that has bought you your life tonight.”

My teeth clicked together and it was a moment before I could speak. When I finally managed a breath, I tried to jerk away from him.

“What do you mean?” The sky was full of roiling clouds and I shivered in the chill wind.

Achelous suddenly shoved me away, his own legs firmly planted in the sand. He was the picture of strong male and utterly merciless. “I’ve said enough. Get the hell out of here before I decide to take my chances and end you now, Gloriana.”

I scrambled to put more distance between us. “Okay then. And thanks. For kicking me to the curb.” Before he could decide to fry me with another lightning bolt, I pulled together what little strength I had left and shifted into bird form. Then I flew out of there as fast as my wings could carry me.

I kept expecting to be shot out of the sky, well-done before I hit the ground. Instead, I actually made it across the lake and landed not far from Ray’s house in the woods near the shore. I spotted my tiger friend prowling the grounds.