Real Vampires Live Large (18 page)

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

BOOK: Real Vampires Live Large
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“Stop it, Greg. You're planting memories again.” This time I threw up a block. We were going to communicate like mortals, with voices and body language, or not at all.
“You heard her, asshole. I'm watching you.”
Valdez growled for emphasis.
“We're both watching you.” Will growled even louder and I shot him a dirty look to keep things from deteriorating into a contest.
“Sorry, okay? I just wanted to talk, maybe shop a little.” Greg studied the dogs. “Glory, anybody ever tell you that you keep weird company? What's with the talking dogs?” He sniffed the air. “Who aren't really dogs.”
Will snarled and Valdez grabbed a chunk of Greg's jeans.
“They're my bodyguards. Since I didn't whammy
you
, you should remember that I always had a dog with me, a Valdez to guard me. Now I've got two. So I'd be careful about insulting them. They take their job seriously.” I loved the way Greg had gone pale.
“Nice doggies. Please let go of my pants.” Greg shot me a frantic look.
“Okay, guys. You've made your point. Let him go, but be ready in case this freak tries his mind control tricks again. These men can and will read your mind, Greg.”
“Men?” Greg flinched when Valdez tugged and his jeans ripped. “Sorry, I get it.” He held up his hands in surrender. “You have my utmost respect, both of you.”
Valdez reluctantly released the fabric, leaving a damp spot on Greg's hem.
“Finally.” Greg stuck his hands in his pockets. “I guess I'm in the right place to buy new jeans. I've heard you have an interesting shop. You always were into clothes.” He smiled and strolled around. “That's where I met you. At a sale at Bloomingdale's. I was shopping with a girlfriend, but once I saw you, I dropped her like a bad habit.” He grinned and winked, obviously expecting me to be flattered.
“So I'm not the only lucky lady you dumped. You wipe her memory too?”
“Sure.” Greg wasn't stupid. He could tell I was on the verge of doing something violent. I let him see it in my eyes. “Come on, Glory. Ancient history.” He stopped in front of Flo's mural and whistled. “Now that's what I'm talking about.” He glanced at me. “Gutsy, putting the vampire thing right out there. On the sign out front and now on the wall. I remember what you used to call it, blending. When did you stop?”
“I'm still blending. A vamp was a sexy chick during the roaring twenties.” I did a hair toss. “Kind of like me back in the day. Mortals don't have a clue it could mean anything else and I make a decent living.” I remembered just how decent and carefully locked the night's receipts in the safe under the counter. When I tore the paper off the printing calculator, I took a moment to admire the total.
“They have a clue now.” Greg gestured toward Flo's mural. “But I'm impressed. I guess you have people who handle days for you.” Greg stopped next to a rack of vintage jeans and checked a price tag. “Good deal.”
What was I doing having a civilized conversation with this creep? He'd whammied me, given me headaches, even tried to get me outside and naked. I gave Valdez a look and he moved closer.
Greg moved on to the suit rack and fingered one of Freddy's tuxes. “Nice. Custom tailored.” He glanced at the tag. “And my size.” He dropped the tag. “If I buy this, will you go out with me? Thanksgiving's coming up. This isn't New York, but I imagine Austin has a parade of sorts.”
“Bastard.” I threw Flo's alligator bag at his head but he ducked and it landed next to the book shelf. With this kind of abuse, I was going to have to mark that purse down. That stirred my temper even more.
“Glory, Glory, get over it, darling. Where's your famous sense of humor? We had a lot of laughs in New York.”
“I lost my sense of humor when I lost my memory.” I picked up an oversized leather tote and swung it over my head like David getting ready to chuck a rock at Goliath. Greg slid behind a rack. I'd really like to whack him, but there were just too many breakables around to take a chance. I dropped the bag with a thump.
“That's my girl.” Greg grinned. “New Year's Eve. Dancing at a fancy place. I remember you doing a mean twist.” He pulled out a blue sixties cocktail dress with a chiffon skirt. “Come on, Glory. You'd look a treat in this.”
“Get your grubby paws off the merchandise.”
“You and I made some great moves. On and off the dance floor.” Greg moved closer and Valdez growled. “Call off the attack dogs and I'll show you.”
“The attack dogs stay
on
.” I made sure my block was firmly in place. “Tell me why you've been stalking me or move your butt out of here.”
Greg glanced at the dogs. “I'd like you to go somewhere with me.”
“I wouldn't go to a Wal-Mart with you, Gregory.” I decided to play it cool and began to rearrange a display of vintage necklaces.
“Come on, give me a break. I never should have wiped away your memory. But what's done is done.” Greg picked up a rhinestone tiara and dropped it on his head. “We had some great times. You should remember the night we went out as two girlfriends. Halloween in Times Square. I made a hot chick, if I do say so myself.” He swayed around a rack of vintage scarves, then draped one around his neck. “Almost as hot as you.”
Will snorted and muttered something about lace on Greg's panties.
“Listen, hound, a man who's sure of his masculinity doesn't worry about crap like that. Glory can tell you I don't wear underwear.” A sly grin. “Easy access.”
“Gag me. And no, Glory can't tell Will anything. Because
Glory can't remember
.” I threw down the necklaces. So much for playing it cool. “But I do remember what you said Saturday night. You said the EVs would love me.” Greg frowned. “What do you have to do with the EVs?”
“You misheard, obviously. What's an EV? A new cell phone provider?” Greg whipped out a snappy new Razr phone. “My provider's not worth shit. You wouldn't believe how many dropped calls I get.” He held up the phone and I'll be damned if he didn't take my picture.
“Stop that!” I grabbed the phone. “What do you need with my picture?” Was this really a phone? I looked it over. Of course it was. Only Westwood had a cell phone that could identify vampires. Greg wouldn't need a detector, he could smell us. Just like I could smell him, though there was something off about his essence. Like he'd fed recently, but not on mortal blood or Fangtastic.
“I was just playing, Gloriana. And why wouldn't I want a picture of you? For my memory book.”
Now both Valdez and Will snorted. This was not good. They were dismissing Greg as a harmless flake. I knew better. He grinned at me, his fangs gleaming in the light. I read his mind and saw memories of Greg juggling stakes and throwing one at me. Missing on purpose, of course, but I'd carried on for hours, claiming he'd been trying to kill me. His eyes narrowed and I felt a bad vibe from my head to my heart. If I crossed him now, I didn't doubt he'd take me out without a second thought. The fact that my dogs would make sure he didn't live long after that wasn't exactly comforting.
“Relax, Glory. I wouldn't hurt you.” He threw on his Greg the nice guy look again. But I didn't trust it, didn't trust
him
.
“What? Are you trying to reassure me with your cute little memories? Or maybe I'm supposed to be grateful that you didn't kill me when you had the chance.” I grabbed a pencil and moved closer, aiming for his so-called heart. “Quit playing dumb. The EVs want my power? Are you working for them?”
“Maybe.” Greg picked up a Sevres porcelain and held it up. “Put down the so-called weapon, Glory, or I drop this”—he glanced at the tag—“five hundred dollar tribute to spring.” He chuckled. “Think it will break?”
“Sure. And a pencil's not a weapon. This,” I picked up the wooden stool we kept behind the counter. “This might do some damage. I could heave it at your head. Think it will break? The stool, that is. Or maybe it'll just knock you out long enough for me to rip off a wooden leg and ram it into the region where your heart is supposed to be.” I smiled and held the stool over my head. I had to love the fact that Greg backed up a foot. He acted like I was making him nervous and put the porcelain back where it belonged.
I probed his mind again, but he'd slammed it shut. He was humoring me, trying to lull me into relaxing my guard. Wasn't going to happen.
I balanced the stool on one finger. Will whistled and even Valdez looked impressed. I
did
have a lot of stored power. Four centuries worth of it. The fact that I hardly ever used it was my own fault. Too much blending, not enough vamping. I eased the stool back to the floor and picked up an African fertility god, carved from a piece of beautiful dark mahogany. You wouldn't believe who'd consigned it. Who knew were-zebras even existed? I gripped it tighter.
“Answer my questions, Gregory.” I glanced at the god with the enormous phallus, nicely pointed. “This is the perfect way to end your worthless life.”
“Now, Glory.” Greg made a vamp move toward the door. My dogs sat up straight, teeth bared. I heard the dead bolts whisk shut. Greg looked from the dogs back to me. “No need for violence here.”
“Then answer me. And don't try to shape-shift. Your little birdie would make a tasty snack for Valdez. He needs some protein.” Valdez smacked his lips on cue.
“Okay, so I work for the EVs. They'd like to meet you. No big deal.” Greg backed away from the dogs.
“Wuss,” Will muttered.
I gave him a look. No need to get Greg worked up to prove his macho.
“I think meeting the EVs
would
be a big deal. I think they want more from me than a little chat.” I gripped the wooden statue. What had I ever seen in Gregory Kaplan? Sure, he was good looking, but there was something missing. Like a moral compass. I could see that in his eyes, now that I really looked. He'd do anything to get what he wanted.
Anything.
Obviously I'd made a big mistake ever hooking up with him. But it had been the sixties. Free love and all that. And I was starting to remember how cute he'd looked in a Nehru jacket. Nope, not going there. He was
not
cute, he was dangerous as hell, despite the “scared of Glory” act.
“Power, Glory. You wouldn't believe what the EVs can do with it. Try it. Give them a little of your stuff and then sample their product.” Greg got a faraway look for a second, then quickly focused again. “You'll realize it's well worth whatever they have to do to you.”
“Whatever they'd
do
to me? To make Vampire Viagra?” Oh, God, both dogs had perked up at that. “You two forget you ever heard this conversation. I mean it.”
“Whatever.”
Valdez settled back down, but I knew he wouldn't forget a thing. He never did. This would be in his next report to Blade.
Will paced in front of the glass windows. “This is why I need money so badly that I do dog duty. Expensive, is it?”
“You have no idea.” Greg smiled at me. “Why do you think I'm working for them? I'm not paid in cash, I'm paid in VV.” He stared at Will. “You should try it. The rush is unbelievable.”
“Hey, I don't need help in that department.” Will gave Valdez a look when he snorted. “I've had no complaints.”
“It's not about that. Hell, I could break bricks with my cock when it's in ready position without the VV.” Greg gave me a sympathetic look. “I'm really sorry you can't remember that, Glory.”
“Oh, please. Spare me.” I had a feeling the male bragging could go on and on. “But the next time I need to break a brick, I'll be sure to call you.”
“Seriously, Glory, it's a pleasure enhancer. For women as well as men. Honey, it's like comparing a wave to a tsunami.”
I let that thought wash over me. “So instead of a big O, I'd get a giant one.” I had to smile, men can be such idiots.

Lots
of giant ones.” Greg focused on Will, obviously sensing a potential customer. “I can tell you're an old vampire. Son, you have no idea what pleasure there is still to be had.”
“Cut the sales pitch, Greg.” I didn't like this, didn't like the look in Will's squinty green eyes. “I'm not going to give the EVs any of my power. You can tell them that's final.”
“Now, Glory. Maybe you should consider—Ow!” Will looked back to where Valdez had taken a chunk out of his tail.
“I think you're forgetting who we work for,
son.
Our job here. Glory's not going within a hundred miles of an EV.”
Valdez spit out fur.
“Glory's already much closer to them than she thinks. Maybe she should ask her roommate about the EVs.”
“I did, I have. What does Flo have to do with this?”
“Ask Ms. Florence da Vinci.” Greg laughed. “Got to love that name. And she paints too.” He strolled to the door. “Can I leave now? I'll give them the message. Can't say they'll like it, but hopefully they won't kill the messenger.”
Greg looked awfully calm for a man who had just failed in a mission for what amounted to vampire drug dealers. He gave me a wry smile, obviously not needing to read my mind to see what I thought.
“Be warned, Gloriana. The EVs
are
drug dealers, ruthless ones. They'll do anything to get what they want. If I didn't think I could still be useful to them, I'd be three states away by now.”
“Three states away is about right.” I kept up my brave front, but I was seriously creeped out. Bad enough Westwood wanted me dead, now Energy Vampires wanted my power. What next? Pirates after my earring collection?

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