Reality Bites (21 page)

‘What the hell did you do that for?’ exploded Stiles. ‘This is no time for …’ He stopped in amazement as she reached out a hand to stroke the muzzle of the nearest one.  ‘Hi – hi there,’ she was saying softly. ‘Good boy, what a
good
boy.’

‘My God!’ he thought, ‘she’s not afraid of
anything
. What a woman.’

He was further stupefied when she clambered onto the back of the tamed dragon.

She turned and grinned wickedly. ‘Last call for the dragon train, leaving now.’

The other dragons were hovering in imitation as if waiting for the others to mount them.  Stiles was the first to risk it.  ‘Surprisingly comfortable,’ he managed in a strangled voice.  ‘Come on guys,’ he added.  ‘It’s this or nothing.’

Cindy hesitated.  ‘How do we direct them?’

Eugene turned into a small version of the dragon.  ‘They’ll follow me,’ he said.

‘Can’t I ride on you?’ asked Cindy. ‘I mean – I didn’t mean.’  She blushed as the others laughed.

‘Um, no offence, but this is just an outward form; I don’t have their strength; otherwise I could have carried you all as an adult dragon.’

‘Okay.’  Cindy took courage from the fact that Tamar and Stiles were still alive, and clambered awkwardly on to the back of the smallest one. They swooped away after Eugene.

Tamar and Stiles were exhilarated, but Cindy looked distinctly green as the dragons landed on the ledge on the other side.

‘Are you all right?’ asked Eugene, looking concerned.

‘I’ll be fine,’ she replied. ‘Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.’

‘Be careful,’ Eugene warned.  ‘Mummy’s probably in there.’  He indicated the passage.

Cindy groaned.  ‘I shouldn’t have come,’ she said. ‘How bad could it have been to stay behind with Denny?’

Tamar snapped her head round.  ‘What’s
that
supposed to mean?’ she barked.

‘Nothing,’ said Cindy, hastily. ‘I just meant with the darkness and the vampires and everything.’

Tamar narrowed her eyes, but let it drop.

The cave walls glowed red, with flickering shadows from the fires below.

“Mummy” was red, with yellow stripes and much, much,
much
bigger than the babies.  Curled up in her nest, she looked like a pile of double-decker buses.  She was snoring gently.

‘I thought dragons slept on a pile of treasure?’ hissed Stiles.

‘Why on earth would they do that?’ Eugene whispered back.  ‘How uncomfortable. And why would dragons have treasure, anyway?’

‘I suppose,’ admitted Stiles.

Tamar and Cindy were trying not to giggle.

‘If they
did
have treasure,’ continued Eugene, not a man to let things drop.  ‘They’d probably keep it in a vault, like anybody else.’

Tamar suppressed a snort. ‘Shhh you two, is this relevant?’

‘Mummy’ opened an eye; it was yellow and gleamed in the semi-darkness like a flame. Then with a snort, she closed her eye again.

‘How do we get past her?’ asked Tamar.

‘Who says we do?’ said Eugene.  (What a little ray of sunshine.)

‘I do,’ said Stiles, grimly. ‘We didn’t come all this way, to spend eternity in this blast furnace.  I at least want to die before I go to hell.’

‘That can be arranged,’ said “Mummy” from the depths of the cavern. She rose and unfurled her wings casting a humungous shadow on the back of the cavern wall. Even Tamar quailed.  ‘Now look what you did,’ she said.

‘Be polite,’ warned Eugene.  ‘And don’t lie.’

‘Well, aren’t you going to introduce yourselves?’ asked the dragon.  ‘I do so prefer to be on first a name basis with people before I eat them.’

‘How about we don’t tell you our names, and you don’t eat us,’ suggested Tamar.

‘Be polite, remember,’ said Eugene.

‘What for? It’s going to eat us anyway,’ said Tamar.

‘Any of you a virgin?’ asked the dragon wistfully. ‘It’s been so long.’

Eugene shifted uncomfortably.

‘I’ll let the rest of you go,’ continued the dragon, ‘if one of you is a virgin, one virgin is worth ten – um not virgins.’

‘No deal,’ said Tamar, to Eugene’s relief.

‘What do you eat when you can’t get people?’ asked Stiles, curiously.

‘What do you mean? There are always people, in the village below the volcano, but no virgins anymore, a dying breed it would seem.’

‘I’m not surprised, if the reward for virtue in these parts is to be your preferred lunch,’ said Stiles.

‘Hmm,’ said the dragon.  ‘I never thought of that.’

‘I always thought that dragons made a deal for virgins, you know one a month, and you won’t terrorise the village.’

‘Now there’s an idea,’ said the dragon.  ‘They could breed them up special, make my life easier too.’

‘What are you doing?’ hissed Tamar angrily. ‘Don’t give it ideas like that.’

‘Sorry I was just thinking out loud.’

‘Well don’t! You’re just promoting an outdated myth. Just shut up.’

‘Well. Doesn’t the myth also include a gallant knight who kills the dragon to save the princess or whatever?’

‘What part of “shut up”
do
you not understand?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Knights?’ snorted the dragon, who had missed nothing of this exchange. ‘They’ve tried that.  Baked in their own armour, they taste quite good.’

‘See?’ said Tamar.

‘Nobody can defeat the great Smog,’ said the dragon.

‘Smog?’ said Stiles blankly.

 ‘That’s me,’ said Smog the dragon. ‘And now, it’s only manners to tell me
your
names. Don’t worry I’ve decided to let you all go, I like that idea that the skinny one came up with, I’d much prefer a virgin anyway.’

‘I don’t think we can trust you,’ said Tamar. ‘No offence, but you
are
a dragon.’

‘None taken,’ said Smog.  ‘I understand. But it’s a kosher offer.’

‘Sound good to me,’ said Stiles.

‘No,’ said Tamar.

‘Why the hell not?’

‘Because, thanks to you, big mouth, it’s going to use your idea to get virgins, we can’t let it; it’d be our fault.’

‘Well, surely that’s better than what it’s doing now?’

‘Oh you think so?  No, we have to stop it. It’s bad enough that it’s killing people, but to expect those people to participate, to just hand people over, that’s sick. And they would, they’d do it because they’d be afraid; they’re just ordinary people, but I’m
not
ordinary people, and I’m not going to make a deal with a monster.’

Stiles was ashamed of himself.  ‘So, we’re back to square one. Our options are either to die, or to kill it,’ he said.

‘That’s how it should be.’

‘Kill
me
?’ laughed Smog. ‘I’d like to see that.’

‘Tamar?’

She sighed. ‘Stand back,’ she said.  ‘I’ll deal with this.’  The next second she was a pillar of flame. Cindy screamed; Stiles gasped. ‘Oh no.’

She emerged from the flames, a little ashy, but substantially intact.

Smog was taken aback.  She drew in a breath to try again. Tamar leapt onto her neck and pulled her head back by the ears, the jet of flame hit the roof of the cavern.

Smog shook her head from side to side, trying to shake Tamar off.  She threw Tamar up into the air and opened her mouth to catch her as she fell.  Cindy hid her face.  Eugene had Stiles by the arms to prevent him from running forward and being sautéed for his trouble.  ‘We have to help,’ Stiles shrieked, as Tamar was swallowed.

There was a silence.

Smog looked smug.

‘I can’t believe it,’ said Stiles. ‘She’s gone. I thought nothing could kill her.  How the hell am I going to explain this to Denny?’

‘I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,’ said Eugene, as Smog drew in a large breath.

But she just flamed the roof of the cavern again, in a sort of triumphant salute.  ‘My offer still stands for you three,’ she said.  ‘Just walk away.’

‘No,’ said Stiles.  ‘Tamar was right, and I won’t let her death be for nothing.’

‘But it won’t make a difference,’ said Cindy. ‘If she couldn’t stop it, what can
we
do?’

‘Good point,’ said Eugene.

‘And the quest, someone has to go on,’ added Cindy.

But Stiles was adamant, ‘No I’d rather die trying.’

‘That can be arranged,’ said Smog, and drew in a breath again.

 Stiles steeled himself.  ‘Oh please,’ he said. ‘How far were you going to let us get, before you flamed us anyway? It’s a
dragon!
’ he added, to the others. ‘You can’t have really trusted it.’

‘Oh just far enough that you’d think you might make it,’ admitted Smog, narrowing her eyes. ‘You first,’ she snorted, drawing in an enormous breath.  She stopped short; her stomach gave an enormous rumble.

It was a spectacular explosion; the walls of the volcano shuddered as bits of dragon splattered all over the walls. The baby salamander dragons shrieked.  Stiles, Cindy and Eugene fell off their feet.  They were lucky – only superficial burns. 

From amidst the debris a voice was heard.  ‘Little help here?’

They pulled Tamar out from under a pile of dragon guts, still smouldering.  From below them the volcano gave an ominous rumble.

‘We have to move,’ Tamar said, somewhat redundantly.  ‘It’s going to erupt, I was afraid of that.’

Cindy pulled her scattered wits back together.  ‘Over there.’  She pointed to a small pool, mysteriously undisturbed by the tumult.  They ran avoiding the rocks bouncing all around them and jumped.

Once under the water, they found that they were rushing upward until they broke the surface.  ‘That was refreshing,’ quipped Tamar as they clambered onto the bank.

‘Stiles opened his mouth, then shut it again, too many questions. He settled for throwing his arms around her, Cindy did the same. Eugene shrugged and joined in, and they toppled over in a heaving pile.

‘I guess I didn’t agree with her,’ said Tamar.

‘That was one hell of a case of indigestion,’ agreed Stiles.

‘How did you do it?’ asked Cindy.

‘I just held on tight to the flame ducts until they backed up.  Bit unfortunate about the volcano erupting, we got rid of a dragon but caused a natural disaster.’

‘Can’t make omelette without breaking some eggs,’ said Stiles philosophically.  ‘On the whole I think that’s a big tick in the plus column.’

‘So, where the hell are we now?’ said Tamar.

It was a swamp by the looks of things, here and there were gnarled trees, and everywhere you looked there was a variety of khaki coloured weed. The water was the colour of, well, what you might find in a portable loo, and occasionally it went “blup” in a disconcerting manner. And a nasty yellow fog hung in the air, swirling oilily, like a living thing.  All in all it was pretty unpleasant, but paradise compared to the volcano.  But oh, the
smell.

‘Hmmn,’ said Cindy.  ‘No exit, no guardian, could this be it?’

‘Surely not,’ said Stiles. ‘What self-respecting mythical beast would live here? It’s a mud puddle.’

‘Mud puddle?’ came an indignant voice from behind them. ‘My home this is? And who be you?’

They turned and saw the weirdest creature yet, the easiest way to describe it was as a half man – half frog. As if in line at the legs counter it had mistaken where it was and ordered the frog’s legs, and also the frog’s cheeks, which bulged intermittently.  They tried not to laugh, as it hopped toward them.  ‘Who be you?’ it repeated.

‘What is it?’ hissed Cindy.

‘Amphibi-man,’ said Eugene.  ‘They’re not dangerous.’

‘Ohh, not dangerous, am I not?’ said the amphibi-man.  ‘Guardian of the swamp am I.  And who be you?’

Stiles folded his arms. ‘Cut it out “Yoda”,’ he said.  ‘How do we get out of here?’

‘Not Yoda,’ said the amphibi-man. ‘Who be “Yoda”? My name it is Blarrt. And I am not showing you the way out, rude man.’

As he said this, his eyes flickered toward the bole of a felled tree, large enough to fit a person in. Tamar nodded to Stiles, who had also noticed.

Blarrt swelled up to twice the size he had been.  ‘Defeat me you must.’ he said.

Tamar pushed him casually into the water. ‘Come on guys,’ she said. ‘This way.’

~ Chapter Twenty Six ~

I
nside the tree bole was a staircase which they followed down to a door.

‘Cute,’ said Stiles. ‘I feel like I’m in an Enid Blyton book what’s behind the door, do you think – elves, gnomes, goblins?’

‘None of those things are cute,’ said Tamar.

‘Who is Enid Blyton?’ asked Eugene interestedly.  ‘I have never heard of this Author; I thought I knew all the mythological volumes.’

Cindy suppressed a laugh.

‘Come on people,’ said Tamar. ‘Are we going or what?’

Not surprisingly they were all reluctant to step through the door.  They all felt certain that whatever was behind it would be unpleasant and dangerous. They wanted a break.  On the other hand, what choice did they have?  ‘Maybe it’ll be a nice hotel,’ said Eugene, hopefully.

‘With a pool,’ said Cindy.

‘And a bar,’ added Stiles. ‘What?’  He said, as Tamar frowned.  ‘I just meant for fruit juice, besides what are the chances?’

Tamar pushed open the door, and they walked into a raging sandstorm. 

‘Figures,’ said Eugene, gloomily.

Looming through the swirling sand was a large animal, they could just make out that it was sucking the sand into its mouth creating a swirling whirlwind.  As the sandstorm cleared, there emerged a large sphinx, which settled calmly on the sand and waited.

‘Wow,’ breathed Cindy, ‘it’s beautiful.’

‘They’re certainly mixing their mythologies aren’t they?’ said Tamar.

‘Is it dangerous?’ asked Stiles, practically.

‘Extremely,’ said Tamar. ‘I think I preferred the dragon.’

‘That bad?’

The sphinx turned its noble and handsome face toward them slowly and with consummate dignity.  ‘Well?’ it said, petulantly, in a whining tone.  ‘What do you want? Are you just going to stand there forever?’

Stiles rolled his eyes. ‘I suppose after Hecaté I shouldn’t be surprised,’ he said.

‘Ah,’ said the sphinx. ‘Do you know Hecaté? I have not seen her for an aeon, how is she?’