Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend (12 page)

He points to the one in the top right of the page, red smoke curling around a dark purple, near black lotus flower. It looks like it was the only thing remaining from a fire. It’s pretty badass for a chick tatt.

“Oh my gosh, yes! That
’s the one I want. It’s freaking
beautiful!”

“Thanks. I designed this last week. Haven’t been able to use it yet.”

Hayles starts to bounce up and down again and I slid
e my arm around her waist. She recoils, and
I drop my arm and go for a ‘I was just tryin’ to put my hand in my back pocket the long way’ kind of thing. I look like an idiot.

And London’s eyes are locked on her boobs. Because I have a complex or somethin’
,
I blurt out, “Hey, I was hopin’ to add on to mine while we’re here.”

That’s a big lie. But no way is he getting his hands on her. I’ll make him work on me instead.

“Really? You’re going to do it with me?” Hayley’s eyes brighten and
dude
, she looks so happy, I’m glad I came up with the BS even if it means I gotta get stabbed in the wrist again.

“Yeah.”

“Sa-weet!” She grabs my wrist and yanks off the leather band I keep around it. “What are you going to do?”

“Yeah, Bro…” London smiles, leaning against the counter again… towards Hayles. “What kind of add on are you looking to get?”

Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m a douche, but I feel like punchin’ him in the mouth. But my already sore knuckles tell me it’s not worth it. The flirting may be my imagination anyways.

“I dunno. Like a chain or something to wrap the two symbols together?”

“Oh! That’ll look supa awesome.” Hayles traces around the ink on my wrist, making swirly patterns between the marks already there. “That reminds me…” She drops my hand. “You never told me what they mean.”

London cocks an eyebrow as he tongues his lip ring. He pushes off the counter and goes into the back, leavin’ us alone.

“Later?”

She huffs, but smiles. “Okay, but you owe me that story.”

“I know, I know.”

We’re quiet while she flips through more designs… well, I’m quiet. She’s humming a song under her breath and tapping her foot.

“You know…” Voice-box shuts down. I was goin’ to tell her how amazin’ her voice is, but I’ve lost my nerve. And I can’t think of anything else to say.

“Was there an end to that sentence?” She giggles, shuts the book and leans on it.

Yes. “I guess not.”

She laughs again.

“All right!”

London comes out with Marisa, the other artist in the shop. She’s got next to nothing on top
,
and her gauged ears have pen caps in them. She gives us both a wide smile and says, “Okay, I call that hot piece of ass.”

Reason
15
:
You rock some sexy ink

I must be really arrogant, ‘cause I swear Marisa was referring to my ‘hot piece of ass’, but she links elbows with Hayles and brings her into the back room, London protestin’ the whole way.

“No you don’t. I designed the lotus she wants. I get to put it on her.”

And Hayley thinks she’s not hot? She better after this display of two older tattoo artists fightin’ over who gets to put ink on her.
Man
, I wish I had the talent to do it
,
so I could get a vote thrown my way.

“Yo, London.” Better make it easy for them. “I’d like you to do the chain on mine if you don’t mind.”
Think of a good reason, Brody.
“You know, since you did this one.” I point to my wrist like a damn fool.

“Fine.” He looks at Mari
sa who’s sticking her tongue out
. “But I get to do the next lotus.”

“Deal.”

Hayley’s face is bright red, lookin’ a little awkward. She catches my eye, throws me a grin and inches toward my hand. I grasp hers before she has a chance to change her mind.

“Okay, first thing’s first.” Marisa squirts a glob of hand sanitizer in her palm and rubs it around. “You got ID?”

Hayles nods, pulling her license from her back pocket. Marisa takes a quick look, then a double take, then squeals. “Nice. Birthday tatt?”

“Yep. Isn’t Brody an awesome buddy?”

Does she still not g
et that this is. A. Date? How
can I be more obvious?

“Sure is.” Marisa hands back the ID, then gives us all the paperwork we gotta fill out. After twenty minutes of answerin’ all the questions, Marisa says, “Now, tell me where you want it.”

“Hmm…” Hayles pats her body, talkin’ under her breath. I don’t know if I’m meant to hear it
,
but I do.

Her fingers prod her hip bone. “No… too chubby for that one.” Darn girl. She moves to her butt. “Maybe, but not sure if I want a flower next to the hole I use for waste, though it would make sense to put one there.”

I have to force back the laughter barreling from my mouth. Gotta turn it into one of those lame coughs. Hayles is still talkin’ to herself as she runs her hands over her body. The boobs are out becau
se ‘they’re not done growing’. I
f that’s true, I’m in trouble. The stomach and sides are also a no because of the ‘chubby’ thing. Girl is crazy. And the feet and ankles were a ‘frickin’ NOT happening’ because that would hurt more than a ‘bunch of lobsters in a hot tub’.

She looks up at Marisa, a slight frown on her face and her eyebrows creased right there in the middle that drives me insane.

“How about here?” I know it’s an excuse to touch her, but I don’t care. I gently press her left shoulder blade. Goose bumps crawl up her neck
,
and she shivers. Blush fills her checks as she looks at me with a big smile.

“Yep. That’s where I want it.” She shrugs off my hand. Okay, point taken. She’s still not into the touching. “Thanks, Brody.”

I nod and tuck my hands in my pockets to keep from movin’ them all over her. Won’t push my luck anymore tonight.

“‘Kay, come have a seat right here…” Marisa pats the chair in the right corner. “And Brody you can have the station next to her if you want to watch.”

“Yeah, please sit next to me,” says as she takes her place in the seat Marisa pointed to. “I need someone to blabber to, ‘cause I’m a little nervous.”

For a second I get real stupid and think she’s talkin’ about being nervous about me. That I make her nervous. But duh… not me, the needle that’ll be stabbin’ her makes her more nervous than I ever will.

And I should not be jealous of a tatt gun.

I plop down at the station next to Hayles, waiting for
London
to bring me a design to look over. Marisa says she’ll be right back
,
and then it’s silent.

I should say somethin’, but nothing is going through my brain. Hayley
does
look nervous, which is cute because
I’ve never really seen her like this.

“You all right there, jumpy?”

She purses her lips together and nods like her head is going to fall off if she moves it too much.

“Liar.”

She throws me a sort of smile then starts tapping her knees.

“It’s not so bad. Yours is small. It’ll take maybe forty-five minutes. Hour tops.”

“Yeah.”

Silence.

“Hayles?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I just thought… you said you really wanted to
,
and I should’ve… you know, maybe should’ve asked you before—”

“Knock it off, Brody. I totally want to do this! Weren’t you a little nervous your first time?”

I shrug. Not really. I was more pissed off
,
and the pain didn’t outweigh the other crap I was dealin’ with.

“That and I guess…” She shakes her head. “Nevermind.”

“What?”

“Nothing, I forget.”

Liar.

“Hayles…”

She pretends to zip her lips, but then her mouth splits open into a real smile.

“Fine. But I’ll get it outta ya sooner or later.”

Cocking her head to the side, she moves her gaze to the floor. “Hey, Brody? Where are you from?”

“What?”

“Your accent. I’ve always been curious about it.”

I smirk. “I lived in Oklahoma for a while. Probably where I got it from.”

“That’s way awesome! Any of your other family have accents too?”

“Just my brother. Mom’s from here.”

“Oh, so what about your dad?”

I forget sometimes she’s only known me for a little while. That she doesn’t know that mentionin’ bio-dad sets my body on fire. But with her, I don’t mind talkin’ about it.

“Yeah, that’s where my mom and dad met. When they got divorced, we moved to Oregon.”

“Wait, so do you have a step-dad? Or is it just you and your mom?”

“Step-dad. They’ve been married for a while now.”

She starts twisting her fingers, cracking them. Don’t know if it’s ‘cause of the conversation or ‘cause of the tattoo still, but she’s
way
nervous.

“You like him?”

I give her a big smile when she loo
ks at me. “He’s cool. More of a
dad than my real dad was.”

“That’s awesome.” She stops cracking her knuckles. “What’s it like in Oklahoma? I haven’t been anywhere. Lived in the same house my whole life and only been to the major cities around here, but not often. Like, this tattoo shop is a vacation for me.”

“Oh, should I bring in some Slippery Nipples?” Marisa laughs at her own joke, Hayles cracking up with her, but I think it’s more of the nerves comin’ into play.

“You know alcohol isn’t good for tatts,” London says as he straps on his gloves and takes a seat next to me. He shows me a couple of designs, and I probably should be payin’ more attention to him, but I’m watching Hayles try to sit still while Marisa talks her through everything. Then she has her pull her shirt off her shoulder
,
and I’ve lost all train of thought.

London snaps in front of my face.

“Yo!”

Whoops.

“You okay with this one?” He’s smirking at me.

I think I say yes, but I don’t really get a good look. I trust London, even though he’s been checkin’ out Hayles’ tits this entire time.

He presses the stencil on my wrist, tugs off slowly, and yeah, it’s cool lookin’, so I don’t tell him nevermind or anythin’.

I hear Marisa’s gun go on
,
and she leans over Hayley’s back. “Try to relax, okay, hot stuff?”

Hayley nods, takes a glance at me, throwing out a scared smile. Two seconds later, the needle pierces the skin on her shoulder.

Her mouth pops open, but no sound comes out. She shuts her eyes real tight and starts mouthing something, but I can’t figure out what she’s sayin’.

We’re all quiet, except for the buzzing from the tatt guns. My wrist burns, but I’m distracted enough to not really notice. I can’t keep my eyes off Hayley’s face, her skin, the way she’s keepin’ it together even though I know it hurts like hell.

“Brody?” Her eyes open. “Distract me please?”

I chuckle, tryin’ to keep my wrist still. “You want me to sing more Katy Perry?”

Her laughter bursts from her strained mouth, like she’d been holding her breath this whole time.

“Okay, tell me another one.”

“What?”

“Tell me another joke.”

I get an evil look from Marisa who’s trying to keep Hayley still through all the giggles. Too bad. Hayles could ask me anythin’ and I’d do it. She’s got me.

“Should I rhyme words with ‘fart’?”

She laughs again, relaxing under the needle. “I think we covered all those words.”

“Did you mention ‘shart’?” Marisa asks, stifling her own laughter and taking the gun away from Hayley’s skin.

Both Hayles and I go into hysterics.
London
and Marisa have to wait for us to calm down enough to keep still.

“Didn’t realize we were inking twelve-year-olds,” Marisa says with a grin. Hayley throws me a look that gets my stomach twisted. Yeah, I like havin’ inside jokes with her too.

Both our tatts only take about thirty-five minutes. I pay for both—because this is a date!—and ignore all of Hayley’s protests and reassurance that she’ll ‘totally pay me back’.

I wait till we’re in the car to ask, “Can I see it?”

Her shirt’s still hangin’ off her shoulder, but she’s twisted in a way that I can’t make out her new ink. At first I think she’s goin’ to say no, but then she brushes her hair off her neck and turns
,
so I can get a good look.

I can feel the heat coming from her, but I’m not sure if it’s ‘cause I’m makin’ her nervous or if it’s ‘cause she’s just been stabbed a million times. The tatt is pretty hot. All
right, really hot. So hot I have to adjust myself. Never thought I’d be into a girl who had ink, but lookin’ at the smoke lines from the flower going across her shoulder blade and almost touching her neck, dude, I want to run my fingers over it.

I don’t. I learned my lesson.

“Is it that bad?”

I gulp. “No, i-it’s… nice.”

Ugh
. Lamest compliment ever.

She cranes her neck, resting her chin on her shoulder, her eyes flicking up to meet mine. “I guess that’s good.”

“Uh huh.”

Just like that, I’m leanin’ in to kiss her.

And she leans back, face going as red as mine probably is. “Um, what are you doing?”

Okay, okay, I should give her the benefit of the doubt here. She’s never been kissed, so maybe she doesn’t know what it looks like.

No, that’s stupid. Of course she knows what I was doin’. And she doesn’t want me to.

Crap
.

“Sorry, you uh, have an eyelash.” And I had to get it off with my lips.

“Oh!” A huge breath escapes her mouth, punching me in the face. I’m a cocky
butt
, ‘cause I expected shock, hesitation, maybe a ‘I’m not ready yet for that’, but not…
relief.

Because I can’t deal with another rejection, I snap on my s
eatbelt and start the car, then do
a burnout from the parking lot.

Hayley’s quiet, not singing or playing with the radio. I don’t know how that makes me feel ‘cause maybe the tension in the air will finally make her
get it
. But, still, I feel like a jerk for throwin’ a fit over it and makin’ her uncomfortable on her birthday. And her first date.

Crap.

“Hey, so you hungry?” I smile, a really big and probably creepy looking smile.

She breaks the tension, another huge breath going out her mouth. “Starving.” Then she hits the radio and puts her feet on the dash.

Even though I kind of want to, I can’t stay mad at her. She’s never led me on or anythin’. Been pretty clear about where I stand with her.

I’m just pissed at myself I guess.